After “the pyramid“, “the cone“ and “the sphere“, I entrust Hencos Publishers with my new novel, which is the result of sleepless nights, sluggish days and restless thoughts: a rough diamond, something to take a little at a time.

Erik Pethersen

THE AUTHOR AND HIS BOOK

Born and raised in the Lombardy region, he self-published some short novels, according to unknown and untraceable sources, which happened to be spread, as the author himself corroborates, through sheets of paper handwritten in block letters and printed, using unknown devices, about twenty copies each, which are all missing. After some hesitation, we publish what officially appears to be the first novel written by the author: an introspective journey, at times claustrophobic, through gloomy and bleak landscapes, suddenly broken up by amazing short-lived flashes of light.

Hencos Publisher

THE BALL

ERIK PETHERSEN

INDEX

1 A day in the life

1.1 Intro

1.2 Life

1.2 Life – One

1.2 Life - Two

1.2 Life - Three

1.2 Life - Four

1.2 Life - Five

1.3 Impulses

1.3 Impulses - One

1.3 Impulses - Two

1.3 Impulses - Three

1.3 Impulses - Four

2 A day in the life

2.1 Intro

2.2 Life

2.2 Life - One

2.2 Life - Two

2.2 Life - Three

2.2 Life - Four

2.2 Life - Five

2.3 Use your illusion

2.3 Use your illusion - One

2.3 Use your illusion - Two

2.3 Use your illusion - Three

2.3 Use your illusion - Four

3 Breaking into pieces

3.1 Naked and afraid

3.1 Naked and afraid - One

3.2 Jeg faller

3.2 Jeg faller - One

3.3 A fine day to exit

3.3 A fine day to exit - One

3.3 A fine day to exit - Two

3.4 In hiding

3.4 In hiding - One

3.4 In hiding - Two

3.4 In hiding - Three

3.4 In hiding - Four

3.5 Temporary peace

3.5 Temporary peace - One

3.5 Temporary peace - Two

3.6 Lost control

3.6 Lost control - One

3.6 Lost control - Two

3.6 Lost control - Three

4 Broken-down

4.1 Wishlist

4.1 Wishlist - One

4.1 Wishlist - Two

4.1 Wishlist - Three

4.2 Svartir sandar

4.2 Svartir sandar - One

4.2 Svartir sandar - Two

4.2 Svartir sandar - Three

4.3 Comfortably numb

4.3 Comfortably numb - One

4.3 Comfortably numb - Two

4.3 Comfortably numb - Three

5 Lights and shadows

5.1 Dumb hotel

5.1 Dumb hotel - One

5.1 Dumb hotel - Two

5.1 Dumb hotel - Three

5.1 Dumb hotel - Four

5.2 Hurt

5.2 Hurt - One

5.2 Hurt - Two

5.2 Hurt - Three

5.2 Hurt - Four

6 A brand-new life

6.1 A simple mistake

6.1 A simple mistake - One

6.1 A simple mistake - Two

6.1 A simple mistake - Three

6.1 A simple mistake - Four

6.1 A simple mistake - Five

6.2 The call of Ktulu

6.2 The call of Ktulu - One

6.2 The call of Ktulu - Two

6.2 The call of Ktulu - Three

6.2 The call of Ktulu - Four

6.2 The call of Ktulu - Five

6.3 Fragile dreams

6.3 Fragile dreams - One

6.3 Fragile dreams - Two

6.3 Fragile dreams - Three

7 Ipsa pila

7.1 Ipsa pila - One

7.2 Ipsa pila - Two

7.3 Ipsa pila - Three

7.4 Ipsa pila - Four

7.5 Outro

to whom it may concern

1 A DAY IN THE LIFE

1.1 INTRO

I have never seen anything so bright blue.

A pair of sensual and slender legs come out under a feminine torso and end up in two flat black leather boots.

A pale and velvety complexion shows from a V-neck, which restrain a playful vitality, and from her three-quarter sleeves on a pair of thin arms: probably some Fennoscandian genes.

I say «hi» casually.

She answers back showing a beautiful smile with teeth so white that lessen the blue brightness of her eyes.

This magnificent creature gets into the lift before me and stands on one side; I position myself at the bottom, as I do every morning.

The cosiness of this tiny space is suddenly filled with a delicate scent of bitter orange and cardamom. I lose myself in this aroma, while I ask her what floor she is going to. «Seventh floor, please» she says. I press the button, lingering among her sea like and icy colours.

I watch her bring her right hand as far as her shoulder: she twists a strand of her light brown hair around her index finger varnished in black; the other hand slips into one of the pockets of her dark jeans.

She has a delicate, gentle and regular face. She seems to shine with positive melancholy. Number seven lights up; the doors open.

«See you.»

«See you, have a good day.»

The lift goes up as far as the 11th floor.

No, I have never seen anything so bright blue.

1.2 LIFE
1.2 LIFE - ONE

A few more seconds in the lift and I reach my floor. I open the front door; the darkness of a February early morning envelops the office. Before me, a dim and foggy light shows behind the reception desk. A sequence of nine large windows, each measuring one metre and a half in width: beyond the windowpanes and the mist, in the distance, the castle towers over the city.

It is 7:30 am and nobody else is in the office, apart from the notary public, of course. His Ferrari California was already in the car park, like every morning, parked with the front of the car towards the exit, keeping the same distance from the two lines painted on the ground.

I took my jacket off and I hang it in the closet placed at the side of the desk. I get across the room looking at the castle in the distance from the windows on my right and I go for my self-stirring mug in my office. I go into the little room in front of my office and I wait for the kettle to boil. I pour some hot water onto my dissolvable Colombian coffee. I switch on my mug and I walk to the end of the corridor. The door of the notary’s office is open and he is busy reading something on his 29-inch computer screen.

«We need to take care of that issue I mentioned to you earlier on» he says looking up, after greeting me.

«What issue?» I asked, I am puzzled.

«That matter regarding that couple: that lady, or as you refer to as, well...»

«Alright, I get it: the slut.»

«That’s it, later we’ll get to it» the notary replied with a big smile. «Stop stirring that thing, please.»

«Sure, I am sorry» I say keeping a straight face while pressing the button on the stirring mug that I am holding in my hands, to increase the speed.

«Brando, tell me: the golden teaspoon that I gave you did not suggest anything to you? Did you think that that gift could have some sort of a secret meaning?»

«No, I did not think much of it: should I have? I thought it was just a present from our fat-bellied client from the valley».

I go away while I hear Alessandro grumble behind me and I unwillingly get back to the main room to drink my coffee, admiring the castle and the mist from the windows.

I wonder if she smiles at everyone this way: it won’t certainly be the first time she smiles and I won’t certainly be the first person she has turned to with such innocence. On the seventh floor there are a financial company and a language school: I would go for the first option.

I hear the door open behind me. I greet Domenica who is coming in, dragging a heavy bag. She strides to her office. Busy day with real estate deeds today, like every Tuesday. I glance at the big silver clock in the waiting room near the door: it is 7:51am. I don’t really feel like working. I take a glimpse at the city again: I can only see the blurred shape of some buildings. From here, it looks so quiet and it is hard to think that there are thousands of people there stuck in the morning traffic and busy trying to start their day.

I need to file several documents from last week. Later this morning then, there will be two extra tasks which are all set since yesterday. Luckily today there won’t be any legal counselling service, however after lunch there will surely be half the documents to be filed, which will take up a lot of my time. Also, all the real estate deeds which will be signed in the afternoon: Domenica will ask me without fail to do something like some missing energy certificate. Around 7:00 pm the documents to be filed will not be all done and that will mean that I have worked for eleven hours in a row, I will be tired and ready to dream of the lift to start my journey home. The slut comes back into my mind now. She was unconsciously being left out of the daily agenda through some mysterious brain function: I guess that the matter will be somehow included before the evening, following the notary’s request.

At around 6 pm already, I probably will start thinking about the lift going down and maybe stopping on the 7th floor. Maybe she finishes working at 7 pm too. She has made a big impression on me: a glow blended with a touch of melancholy which does not overshadow her light but it makes it brighter.

I leave the window and I go towards my burial recess. The purple light shows that the computer has been switched on and Windows is loading... the working day is about to begin. User ID and password: I am ready.

Registering corporate deeds is one the tasks I carry out in the office, among many others. It is quite a repetitive job but after all it is also soothing and relaxing because I don’t need to interact with other people directly and it doesn’t imply any online verbal conversation.

I open the list made by Tamara: last week several companies were registered, some statute regulations had been modified, there had been a merge and five share transfers. It comes to a total of fifteen files to submit to the Board of Trade and this amount doesn’t brighten up my negative thoughts from earlier on, making me take into account the possibility to finish my work before the evening, including all the breaks.

As I usually do, I start with the share transfers which are not too technical and they take me less than half an hour each.

The first one concerns a company owned by several people from the one family whose founder is now in his seventies and is trying to leave the business. I fill in the fields concerning the new capital stock, I grant the father a smaller share and the daughter a bigger one, I check their personal details and I consider the first file already done.

Check. Sign. Send. Amend. Sign. Check. Send. File registered: I will be sent the receipt shortly.

While waiting, I type Sbandofin Brescia in the search box and I press enter: the name is fascinating and I have always noticed it on the plates placed in front of the reception desk. Who we are, where we are, what we do, loans for your residential home, for your holiday home, debt consolidation, business funding, consumer credit, liquidity problems consulting. I stop midway through the page: the company does financial mediation for every need.

I stare at the screen. That girl, or woman, could persuade a penguin too from the Antarctic to purchase an air conditioner: she could manage to grant loans to people looking for cash to pay off other debts. Despite its name, I think that the company is a trustworthy mediator. Maybe she carries out a very boring job dealing with central credit register inquiries, looking for better spreads, filling in request forms to send to the banks. Considering that the first hypothesis is too fanciful and the second one is too sad, I just go for somewhere in between, which I can’t focus on precisely.

The receipt has arrived: I save the pdf file. I can go on with the next share transfer.

⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎

I hear a loud clacking down the corridor and I saw a head of fair hair coming through my office.

«Hi Bra, are you doing okay?» Tamara says.

She cheerfully glanced at me and she walks to the window, beyond my desk, holding a cup in her hands.

«Hi Tammi, all is great» I reply. She looks through the glass panes and sips her coffee, with her back to me. Her wild hair fall down on a purple jumper. She has a pair of very tight black leather trousers and she wears a pair of quite high stilettos.

«According to you, why is my car remote control not working anymore?»

«What do you mean, Tammi?» I asked, turning to her. «The battery could be low!?» I tried to imply.

«You sound like my husband: I am not stupid, you know! I have already tried to change it but it’s still not working.»

«Well, I guess there is something else wrong with that.»

«Great. What would I do without you, Bra» she replied sarcastically. She turns around, she leans her back against the windowpane and grumbled. «I think I’ll go to the car dealer» she added then.

«Good idea» I stated.

«Bra, do you think that these trousers are too flashy?» she asked all of a sudden stroking her leg with the palm of her left hand.

«Well, they don’t go unnoticed, I think.» Like the jumper, the shoes, the bleached blond hair, virtually transparent.

«So, you too think that they are too flashy?»

«What do you mean by you too? Did anyone by any chance stopped you on the street to tell you?» I was being sarcastic.

«No, no-one. Anyway, I just walked through the underground car park» she answered with a smile. «My husband said that they make me look a bit tarty.»

«Really? Maybe just a little, but not that much. Well, it depends...»

«So, you feel the same too» Tamara interrupts me. «I think that you men have a problem with leather.»

«I don’t have any problem with leather. Those trousers are nice, they suit you. They look a bit... now, I mean, they look refined... like an upper-class escort girl...»

«Well Bra, that’s enough» she interrupts me. «I go back to work, thank you for all the compliments.»

«But I said that I think they are nice, Tammi.»

«Yes, I got it.» She gets to the door, she turns around and says: «Have a nice day».

«You too» I reply. I hear her heels clacking on the ground and going off.

I look back at the screen. I smile.

I complete my file: check; send; filed.

Now it is the two nice buddies’ turn: they are friends and they are the notary’s friends. They seem to have come out of Wheelers Dealers. They have been business partners since kindergarten, they own a small business buying and selling second-hand cars; they fix them and sell them; beside that, they also fix cars and do the tuning.

The partner who is an expert in fixing cars, Ermes, has always had 40% of Anyauto Ltd. And now he bought 10% off his partner, Antonio. Now they eventually own 50% each, this makes sense after quite a few nonsensical changes within the partnership.

On Wednesday, while taking care of the deed, Ermes asked for information regarding the notary’s old Porsche. His request was so detailed that well supported my convictions regarding the disappearance of 911 in 2005. Alessandro, when asked about the new arrival, he replied hastily but that was enough to confirm the actual existence of his beloved car which was replaced about two years ago by the Ferrari he has now.

Tax codes, shares, sum of the shares. Send. Amend. Check. Send. Filed. Still two share transfers to go and I’ll be finished; it is 10:55 am and at 11:30 am I am meeting up with the notary to take care of the merge. A quick visit to coffee room, I said «get the hell out of here» to the bleached head of hair with black high heels underneath, standing in the middle of the corridor and I am ready to go ahead with the work I have to do. I do two easy transfers quickly due to the unstoppable enthusiasm with which my hands fly around the keyboard moving the mouse pointer all over the screen. I just got some time to go over the consumer credit draft by Sbandofin to whom I could turn to borrow rates ranging from 7%, with a GAPR amounting to 8,6%, payable also in case of liquidity needs without asking for any warranty.

I stare at the page and I consider such conditions misleading rather than interesting.

Red light, the notary is calling: «Tamara said that the merging companies have arrived: can you go and get them in the hall and bring them in the deed room, please?»

«Sure, I’ll pick them up and we’ll be right over.»

1.2 LIFE - TWO

The two managers are there for the merger. First thing, there is a recap of all the projects followed by all the assets to be merged. The whole matter has been agreed upon months before so everyone looks really bored, including Alessandro the notary who is thoroughly reading all the bulky minutes and seems to be the only one still alert.

Three thousand euros in five years at that rate means repaying almost one and a half times the capital at maturity. Although I am quite prone to silly behaviours, I come to the conclusion that this idea would be useless and unnatural: there could be better ways to get in touch with the blue creature. More than a simple hello the next time I bump into her would be too straightforward for the way my brain works. What if the glow was just a simple and sudden glow? It would be useless to put energy into a blue flash ready to go off within a minute of conversation; even though I doubt that this may happen: such a deep blue colour cannot dissolve so quickly; this would be totally in contrast with the intensity of her gaze.

«Land Registry extracts were done together with the merger approval; nothing has changed since then, right, Brando? Can you pass them to me so that we can quickly go over them and check them?»

«There hasn’t been any change, here they are» I reply, pushing the papers in front of me towards the notary.

Better to leave her in the world of dreams, dreams that are almost real, glowing dreams that are almost real.

«Next week we will register the deed and I will give you the updated extract» I say.

«Thank you, have a good day.»

«I’ll show you the door» I answer.

⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎

When I get back to my desk, I find the notary there waiting for me in front of my desk, fiddling with an elastic band in his hands.

«You look already burned out today Brando: you look as lively as a warthog infected with Ebola virus» he says ironically while I am staring at him a little puzzled.

«Let’s go to the coffee room: our clients who want to set up a company will be here shortly, shall we get a coffee in the meantime? You can stir yours, if you wish.»

«I won’t have it stirred, just to show you my support.» After a few minutes, we are in the deed room again, sitting on the same chairs we sat on earlier on, with two coffee cups in our hands.

«Now, Brando, all that positive energy that is coming out from you, where does it come from?»

«I believe it is just an inner feeling. It is not on sale, I think.»

«Just as well, otherwise suicide attempts could unreasonably increase.»

«I don’t think I am contagious, anyway.»

«No, I don’t think so. What comes out of you is harsh if anything but what worries me is what you have inside.»

«Really? Why are you saying this? I don’t look too weird or depressed today... I mean I don’t look any different than other days.»

«That’s it, Brando. You are depressed and weird like many other days. However, lately, you are almost over the limit. I have known you for years now, I have never seen you like this.»

«You think so? I don’t know, I haven’t thought about my psychological and physical condition today, actually. I got here and I got down to work with the files. I think I did even take a breath, from time to time.» Maybe the thought of the blue glow took my mind off what I was doing for a few minutes, her apparition may have shaken a regular day at its onset, but I think I am alright.

«I am not too sure, Brando. You look to me more and more... I don’t know how to put it...»

«Loony?» I ask.

«No. I’d rather say gloomy. As if you are trapped inside something. Trapped in there.»

«Trapped inside what?»

«Trapped inside, that’s all.»

«What do you mean, trapped inside myself?»

«Yes, that’s it.»

«Excuse me, notary, I have felt just fine up until two minutes ago: the day was passing just fine, like many others. Now, thinking that I am trapped within myself could make me feel distressed, it is a disturbing picture.»

«Maybe I am the only one to detect this lately: don’t read too much into my words. It depends on the places we are trapped in: they don’t have to be always bad places. If you have coconut trees and sun all day inside yourself, it could be all good» he replied with a smile.

«Sure. Haven’t you just said that I am gloomy inside? Actually dark?» I ask a little puzzled.

«Yes: mine was just a theory in fact» he answers. «Contra spem.»

«So funny» I say it with a grin.

«Let’s put aside this introspective journey inside yourself» the notary goes on, «what makes you feel this way?»

«What do you mean? I am the same as any other day.»

«Has anything unusual happened to you recently? Is your matt car okay? Your parents? Is everything okay? Do you still live on your own refusing every human contact?»

«When are our next clients coming?» I ask with a sarcastic tone, to try and change subject.

«In a few minutes, I reckon. However, we have plenty of time to make a brief examination of your current life.»

«Good, how nice. Why though?»

«For no particular reason. I worry about you, about your psychophysical condition. More about the former than the latter.»

«Excellent. I am happy that you worry about my mental health. It pleases me very much.»

«So then?» he insists.

I am looking at the empty cup that I hold in my hands.

«Now I can tell you that my matt car is doing well and I guess my parents too, I mean, they are doing only too well. I add that I do not live on my own, I have occasional and normal contact with the other dwellers on planet Earth, and you are one of them.»

«Thank God, Brando, you have stopped hanging around with the aliens, this is a positive thing. Did you start hanging around regularly with somebody else, I mean, with the opposite sex?»

«No, I didn’t. I stopped with the aliens, just give me some time to change my habits, meet new people to hang around with. Maybe zombies, there are so many around.»

«Very funny. Let’s take a note: nothing new, the candidate does not point out any recent changes in his lifestyle. I am sure that if you behave like this, the sentence to home confinement will be revoked, sooner or later.»

«Home confinement that I was granted being trapped inside myself?» I wonder, puzzled.

«Right that one.»

«I was asking because I was afraid I had got lost.»

«So, are you dead on not trying to repent?»

«I don’t think I need to repent for anything. That’s the way I am: I do not hang around with aliens, zombies nor human beings; I am gloomy and a bit down but I have always been like that. Maybe lately the whole situation has gone a bit worse, maybe I find it difficult now to put up with some situations that I used to somehow manage before.»

«Attention, please. We have here some sort of explanatory sentence which expresses a whole thought» the notary says sarcastically. «Are you talking about work in general or something more complicated?»

«It is the whole situation, what is around us: people, in particular. It is the attitude that people have towards each other. Not just in the working environment: it is something that makes me sick, it makes me feel bad.»

«People. People make you sick: disturbing. What do you mean, Brando?»

«There is some sort of pathological apathy everywhere. They all just want things and expect them without doing anything useful for themselves or for the others.»

«That has been my feeling too for quite some time.»

«Do you know the history of do ut des?» I ask.

«Sure, do ut des and do ut facias, are the foundation of private law. You are talking about a wider picture, don’t you?»

«Yes, a wider and more trivial scenario. Men have always acted this way: you give something to get something else back. I think this is fair, quite normal. The problem is that now it is only a des: give me this because I am entitled to it, I want this because I am more worthy than you. The synallagma has changed: everybody expects something but nobody does anything.»

«Interesting analysis. Is that what makes you gloomy?»

«I don’t know. This is for sure something that I can’t stand. And there is so much more to it.»

«Talking about do ut des, did those guys from Newco Dating Ltd avail of the legal counselling service, didn’t they?»

«They did, they dropped in on a Wednesday, two weeks ago. They are two guys from Eastern Europe who want to start a dating business on the internet. Actually, I am not too sure if they are real rendezvous, which are organized on the web or virtual dating, like online chats or something like that. Anyway, they were telling me that their web site is ready for the users and they are trying to create a mobile app too.»

«Right, that was exactly the idea behind setting up legal counselling service» Alessandro says. «Giving everybody the chance, especially needy people, to have free legal service for every need.»

«Wonderful idea which compels me to get in contact with many needy people for three hours a week...»

«Correct. This would be only do, without ut des: something done for a noble principle. You are really great at dealing with needy people, Brando». The notary stops and looks at me smiling. «So today we will help needy people to run the usual virtual brothel: it is nothing new, it must be the third one already. This year only.»

«I think that word of mouth is what gets them going in this environment, but massage parlours have almost disappeared» I say.

«True, I haven’t seen them in a while: it is probably because the Town Council close them all down» the notary replies. «Anyway, wasn’t the deed scheduled for 12:30 pm? It is 12:45 pm already and they haven’t shown up yet.»

«They may run a little late, I fear.»

«We should look into this legal counselling service...»

«Maybe so. Often helping people in need is not taken in the right way by people, or several people consider themselves in need but they are just in need to have something for free» I say.

«Come on, let’s get back to the do ut des...»

«Mala tempora currunt, Brando.»

«Sed peiora parantur» I reply.

12 3 4 5 ...8 Kolejny

The Ball

THE BOOK