The Mist and the Lightning. Part II

He passed his palm over Orel's face.

"You're in pain! I was away for too long," he pressed Orel's head to his chest. "It'll get better now, my poor Arel."

Orel clung to him. Nikto leaned to him and kissed his damaged eye.

"Let's go," Lis stubbed his cigarette.

Tol looked at Nikto and Orel grinning like a madman.

"Yes, I think we should leave," Enriki said.

"Really? What a pity," Tol said laughing. "I wouldn't mind staying and holding a candle for them."

They left.

Chapter 3

A New Set-up

Orel woke up and yawned with enjoyment. Still half-dreaming, he stretched lazily and covered his face with his palms, trying to rub his sleepy eyes.

"Oh gods!" he flinched feeling thick cloth of the bandage over his right eye and recalling everything. He shivered, his sleepiness gone without a trace. He sat up in bed abruptly trying to suppress trembling.

Nikto who slept next to him opened his eyes and reached his hand squeezing Orel's palm.

"Easy, easy, don't be afraid. Lie back," he said.

Orel lay down obediently.

Nikto didn't let his hand go, kept squeezing it. "Don't tremble, calm down," he smiled at Orel. "C-a-l-m d-o-w-n."

With his free hand Orel stroked Nikto's fingers, black with tattoos, and gently touched the short stump of his ring finger.

"Nik, you're here, with me," he said, moved.

"Yes," Nikto stopped clenching Orel's palm but didn't let it go. "Though it is you with me. It is my room." He laughed softly.

"What happened yesterday? I don't remember anything," Orel tensed again.

"I healed your eye and soon you will be able to see as before."

Orel touched the bandage on his face.

"You healed me."

"Yes, yes," Nikto took his hand off the bandage, "just don't touch it."

Orel turned to him.

"I won't be single-eyed, will I?"

Nikto smiled shaking his head.

"You won't. You'll have two eyes, like before."

Orel lay back in the pillows, relaxed.

"It's so good. But is it for sure, Nik?"

"For sure, don't worry. But you can't get up yet, do you hear me?"

"Yes, I hear. I won't make a step without your permission!"

Nikto laughed again but didn't say anything.

"What time is it?"

"I don't know," Nikto shrugged. "But your friends are gone."

"Why are they just *my* friends?"

Nikto rose slightly smoothening his hair.

"Well, they are mine, too," he grinned.

"I asked you not to quarrel again."

Nikto turned to Orel. "We didn't quarrel."

"And with Lis?"

"And with Lis."

"Do you resent him badly?"

"Arel, I don't want to talk about it now. I need a shot. Later, okay?"

Nikto got out of the bed, came up to the table, took his bag and started preparing a dose. He stood near to Orel, turned with his side to him; Nikto's bare feet were buried in the thick fur on the floor. Setting the syringe against his neck under the angle only he knew he injected the needle into his vein.

Orel turned away.

"You're doing it standing," he said. "You really are a finished man."

"Orel, it's ridiculous," Nikto said.

Orel passed his hand over Nikto's thigh.

"Nik, will you stay with me for a while longer?"

"As long as you want," Nikto returned to him. "I'm all yours."

Orel moved making some place for him. "Then sit down."

"Okay," Nikto took out a few pills from his casket and swallowed them washing them down with wine from a bottle. Orel swallowed hard.

"Nik, can I drink now?"

Nikto gave him the bottle. Orel grabbed it gratefully and gulped quickly. Having emptied it, he stretched happily.

"Gods! Can anything be better? I'll have my eye, I have my wine, and my Nik is with me!"

Nikto sat next to him, turned Orel's face to himself.

"I need to check if everything's all right."

Orel got pale.

"I'm scared."

"Don't be foolish. Besides, you take pain well, I noticed."

Nikto untied the knot and took the bandage off carefully. Orel froze submissively.

"Nik, you can't see well, how can you check my eye?" he said suddenly. Nikto covered Orel's mouth with his hand.

"Keep quiet. Don't worry, I'll always see what I need."

He passed his fingers over Orel's eye, just like he'd done many times before, then smiled.

"It looks fine!" he said at last, smiling. He covered Orel's good eye with his palm. "Look. Can you see?"

Orel blinked his damaged eye.

"Yes! A little…" he squinted, his eye was tearing with light. "Nik, thank you!"

"Not at all," Nikto again covered his eye with the cloth soaked in the healing ointment and tied the bandage.

"When can I take off this shit?" Orel asked.

"Well, wait a little, not everything at once."

Orel got up.

"Hey, where are you going to? I've just told you that you couldn't get up!"

"But Nik, I need to piss," Orel looked at him fearfully.

Nikto shrugged.

"As you wish. Choose yourself what is more important for you, a good eye or…"

"Nik, you're joking, I hope?"

Nikto lay down in the bed. "I'm joking."

Orel flushed. "Idiot!" He got up carefully and slowly walked to the bathroom door. At the door he turned to Nikto. "Did you hear what I said? You're an idiot!"

Nikto laughed and threw an empty bottle at him.

"All right, go!"

Orel barely managed to dodge; the bottle hit the wall and fell on the floor rattling. Thick glass resisted the fall and didn't break.

"Fuck you!" Orel yelled and hid behind the door. When he came back, Nikto was still in bed. Orel came up to the mirror.

"Oh gods! I look like shit!"

He tried to smoothen his twisted hair.

"Nik, what have you done to me? I've never looked shittier!"

"Really?" Nikto could barely keep from laughing.

Orel turned to him.

"You're laughing! At first you mutilated me, made me a laughing-stock and now you're amusing yourself!"

Nikto reached his arms. "Come here, come to me!"

Orel lowered his gaze and silently walked up to him. As soon as Nikto could reach to him he grabbed Orel and overturned him onto the bed.

"Enough!"

Orel didn't resist. Nikto put him onto his back, leaned over him, his eyes glittered merrily.

"I hear, you're angry," he said. "Prince Arel Chig is displeased with something again."

Orel kept silent.

Nikto patted his hair, pressed his lips to it, then blew at Orel's temple.

"Should I call for Mina to comb your hair?"

"No, I don't need Mina, I don't need anyone but you. But I'm afraid – you didn't particularly like me before, and now when I look like that, you'll like me even less."

"Indeed," Nikto said. "You're simply disgusting: one-eyed and – just imagine! – with dirty, not combed hair."

Orel laughed. "Uncombed!"

"Whatever. You understand me."

"No, I don't understand. Are you just keeping me company while I'm sick? Or do you really want to be with me?"

"What do you think?" Nikto moved away from him slightly, supporting himself on his elbow. His other hand fingered his earrings mechanically.

"I'm afraid even to think about it," Orel got pale. "If you're just playing with me and then will leave me, I'll die. No, I don't even want to think about it!"

"Calm down, it's all right, I'll stay with you," Nikto lowered his gaze. "And I accepted the idea that I have to be not only a warrior here but also you lover."

Orel shivered and sat up in bed.

"But you don't want that! You just submitted to me because you were cornered! I didn't leave you a choice from the very beginning. Right?"

"Arel, calm down."

"Enough of calming me down!"

"Are you not tired of discussing our relations? I am," Nikto took a cigarette and lit it.

"Why do I always start a quarrel with you?" Orel said, depressed. "I don't understand."

Nikto smoked silently. Suddenly Orel raised his head.

"Nik, get up and dress."

Nikto looked at him in surprise but didn't say anything. He stubbed the cigarette and started dressing. Then he looked at Orel questioningly.

"Should I take the weapon?"

Orel nodded. "Now take the armchair, move it to the bed and sit down."

Nikto did everything as Orel said. Now he sat in the armchair, Orel, on the bed.

"Shit. You're obedient," Orel laughed. "I like it."

Nikto shrugged silently. Orel stopped smiling. He seemed to gather his strength.

"Nik, I rendered you a service accepting you into the circle of humans. You thanked me fulfilling my wish. Now we are even. Maybe I said it wrong, it isn't really so but it doesn't matter. The main thing is that you don't owe me anything any more," he looked at Nikto. "Do you understand? No more gratitude, no nothing. You submitted to me, accepted my whim, gave me what I wanted – it's enough. Now you're free."

Orel looked at Nikto's face but couldn't understand what he was thinking at this moment, no matter how much he tried. He would like to know it so much! He lost the track of his thoughts, stammered, trying to express what he wanted to say.

"No, don't think I fell out of love with you, I think it's just impossible… and maybe because I love you even more I don't want to keep forcing you. I don't know if you understand me but I swear by all my ancestors that you will be just my friend. Do you think I won't be able to stand it? I'll stand it, don't doubt. You said it yourself that I handle pain well. You will be on the team, as before, we'll talk but there will be nothing else for my part, just friendship. Believe me, believe me, Nik, you're free from my love, and there will be no hard feelings from me. You know it's silly," he smiled sadly, "but I hoped that since I love you so much, you'll get to love me too," he paused.

"Yeah, I was too self-confident. Well, it's just that it never happened to me before. If I showed any interest about anyone, they were glad to respond to me. And for some reason I decided that it would be forever like that. Well, it didn't work – and to kiss you knowing that you just want to please me and you don't have any feelings towards me – I don't want that. It is humiliating me, and you too. I need everything or nothing – yes, that's it. I decided to make a choice like that. Enough of this illusion of relationship, it is stupid. That is why, Nik, leave – go to the Lower City, to the others. And when you come back, I won't be in your room, I'll go to mine. We'll forget everything that happened. I'll never remind you about it," he looked away. "Perhaps I've talked for too long but I wanted you to understand that I don't need your gratitude any more, you're free. Leave, Nik, it'll be right. I respect your choice and there are no hard feelings from me."

Nikto kept silent. At last he slowly got up from the armchair. Orel tensed all over but didn't look at him.

"Arel…" Nikto started.

Orel stopped him with a gesture.

"Don't. Don't explain anything, I'll be all right."

Nikto knelt down at the bed slowly, took Orel's hand.

"Nik, leave! For your gods' sake!" Orel said hoarsely.

"But I don't want to leave! I don't need your Lower City and your friends, I don't need anyone but you!"

Nikto pressed his face to Orel's hand.

"You say you don't want my gratitude any more but I was not thanking you! I did only what I wanted myself. I kissed you not because I wanted to thank you but because I wanted to kiss you. Let me stay with you!"

"What? Gods, Nik, I can't believe my ears!"

Nikto raised his eyes at him.

"Orel, I want to stay with you. It's my choice."

"Nik, Nik!" Orel pulled him closer; Nikto readily leaned towards him, kissing his hands.

"Nik," Orel laughed, "stop kissing my hands, you silly! What a habit you have! I'm not your master and you're not a slave!" he hugged Nikto's shaggy head, pressed it to his chest. "You're not my slave, you're not my servant, we're equal, hear me?"

Nikto nodded.

"Nik, you won't regret your choice," Orel was shining with happiness. "I swear you! I'll do everything for that, you'll never regret staying with me!"

"I know," Nikto said, "I know."

In a fit of insanity Squint-Eye cuts off his long hair and bangs.

Lis tries to get friendly with Asa. He wants to use her to find out something about Nikto and to get to Tol by making her his lover.

Bey manages to find allies in his war against Orel. He attacks.

With enormous efforts and great losses Orel's soldiers hold the positions they recently acquired.

They manage to fight back the enemy but by paying a great price.

Chapter 4

After the Battle

"Everything will start tomorrow again! Do you understand it?" Lis said looking at Orel seriously. They returned to their rooms at 'Backara' to have some rest and lick their wounds. Orel sat in his armchair at the head of the table. His face was pale, he held his damaged eye with his right hand.

"I understand everything," he said tiredly.

Nikto and Asa talked quietly in Unclean over wounded Tol. Nikto said something pointing at the deep cut on Asa's side. She sat down on the sofa, at Tol's feet, and took off her ruined vest. The cut was not bleeding, it was smeared with the ointment in time; it looked much better than Tol's ragged wounds but still it wasn't too good. Not embarrassed at all that she was sitting with her breasts bare in front of them, Asa raised her arm for Nikto to examine her wound. He squatted in front of her, started preparing a thread and a needle.

"Now she'll have a scar on her side," Lis said. "Why don't you apply 'sama'?"

"She can't bear it. She still isn't restored after her overdose," Nikto said without looking aside.

He pierced Asa's dark beautiful skin and started sewing the cut neatly. Asa tensed with pain, screwed her eyes shut but didn't make a sound.

Lis turned to Orel again.

"Orel, what shall we do?" he asked.

"A stupid question, Lis. We'll fight." Orel poured a full glass of wine.

"Can you drink?"

"Of course I can, for fuck's sake! I'm not drinking with my eye!" Orel emptied the glass in a few gulps. "I don't know how Squint-Eye manages to fight but if not for Nikto standing by me, I wouldn't be sitting with you here! It would be my last fight today!"

"Arel, I'll finish with Asa and deal with you," Nikto turned to him.

"Don't hurry, I'm all right."

"Shit, I want to fuck Asa," Lis said. "This Unclean bitch arouses me."

"Do you want me to translate it?" Nikto laughed.

"No," Lis came up to them, squatted near to Nikto and passed his hand over Asa's arm gently. She flinched and opened her eyes. Lis looked at her with his eyes full of sympathy, his face was sad.

"I'm so sorry," he said in Unclean. He looked very upset. "You were very brave in the fight. You helped us so much!" He shook his head in distress. "I'm so sorry you are wounded."

"It's okay," Asa said, "don't worry about me."

"Yes, you're right," Lis smiled at her. "You're so beautiful no scar will spoil you." He reached and touched her dark-brown nipple with his lips gently. She laughed, pushed him away but did it lightly.

"Lis, I haven't done yet!" Nikto shouted at him.

"Finish quicker, I can't wait to do it," Lis laughed speaking in Black. Nikto didn't answer, he finished sewing the wound and smeared it with the ointment.

"Asa dear, let me dress your wound, I want to help you," Lis's voice was sweet like honey.

"No," Asa said.

"But why?" Lis was in despair. "Don't you trust me? Do you trust Nikto more, do you like him more? Tell me and I'll leave you alone."

"I like Tol," Asa said.

"But Tol is sleeping and he won't wake up soon, let me dress your wound, let me!"

"No."

Nikto prepared the bandage and Asa got up, raised her arms for him to be more comfortable to do it.

"You're so cruel!" Lis was getting angry. "I'm ready to do anything for you and I don't want to give me such a small joy."

"Lis, fuck off," Asa snorted.

"Shit!" Lis slammed his fist against the table. "Shit!"

Orel raised his head.

"Go get a wench if you need it so!" he growled. "Just don't make a noise, for gods' sake! My head is splitting!"

"I don't want a wench! I want this beast!"

Nikto laughed. "Hold back your tongue, she understands a little in Black."

"Oh fuck," Lis covered his mouth.

"Maybe I can be your friend," Asa drawled, "but you can't count on anything more."

"Fine, fine," Lis became submissive again. "I agree to anything, my queen!"

Asa smiled to him indulgently.

"You have a funny accent," Nikto said. "Did you learn Unclean among Reds?"

"Yes. Frankly speaking, I thought I forgot it but no. When I need it, it comes back."

"Lis, you want to a fight with Tol, right?" Orel asked.

"No, I don't. He won't even know," Lis sat at the table and smoked. "Like Enriki doesn't know everyone fucks his sister," he laughed.

"What a bastard you are!" Orel leaned back in the chair.

"So what?" Lis shrugged. "Does it trouble you?"

"No," Orel winced in pain. Nikto came up to him, sat down on the table.

"Let me see," he said.

Orel looked at him fearfully. "Nik, I'm afraid a little."

"Don't be afraid," Nikto took off his bandage and looked closely.

"What's there? Tell me, don't torment me? Did it burst again?"

"No, no, it won't burst, don't worry," Nikto made him toss his head back, examining his swollen eyelid.

"Aah, hu…rts, it hurts!"

"Quiet, quiet," Nikto let him go. "It's all right but it's going to heal slowly. If you stayed in bed for a few more days…"

"But you see I can't afford it!"

"Yes, I know. I just warn you that it will heal slowly, that's all."

Nikto applied a thick layer of the ointment over the eye and bandaged it again. Orel touched the bandage in distress but didn't say anything. Lis looked at them.

"Now you look like him" he said nodding at Nikto. "Just as disfigured."

Orel tensed.

"Yes, I was tired of being the only one ugly among you," Nikto agreed. "I decided that Orel would keep me company."

"I don't doubt," Lis looked at him darkly. "Who's next?"

"Squint-Eye doesn't suit, Tol and Enriki are wounded. So, it's you."

Lis lowered his eyes.

"What will you do to me, if it is not a secret?"

"It's not a secret," Nikto bared his teeth. "I'll cut off your tongue."

Orel laughed.

"Ni-i-ik, but why?"

"Because he talks too much."

"You're shit," Lis said, "I'm not afraid of you."

Nikto walked around Orel's armchair and stood there, leaning with his elbows on its back; his eyes sparkled impishly.

Lis looked at him, smirked. "You think you're cool, huh?"

Nikto leaned to Orel, hugging him around the back of the chair. "Lis, enough, I know you're just jealous of me."

Orel laughed, pressing his cheek to Nikto's. "Lis, is it true?"

"What? Do you believe the bullshit he says?"

"He is jealous and envious," Nikto said. "That's why he is angry."

"Cool!" Orel looked at Lis with interest, waiting for his reaction.

"Envy you?" Lis snorted. "That's something! You're nothing, you just pretend being tough but you really are an empty place!"

"Really?"

Lis laughed. "Exactly. I think you have nothing I should envy."

"And I think I do," Nikto said.

He moved away from Orel and standing behind his back for Orel not to see what he was doing he showed Lis his finger with the royal ring on it.

Lis's face flushed, he got up, turned away. Asa who watched this scene laughed. She was dressed and smoked now leaning against Tol's legs; Tol slept, full of medicines.

"Nikto is an animal," she said. "Lis, come to me, I'll pity you."

"Fuck off!" Lis snapped.

He came up to a little table and grabbed a statuette from it, threw it at the wall. It shattered into small pieces.

Orel clapped his palms. "Well done, Lis! You've amused me!"

"Glad to hear," Lis said through the clenched teeth. He returned to his corner. Asa said something.

"What does she say?" Orel asked.

"She says we behave worse than the Unclean," Nikto said.

"Tell her to shut up!" Orel said and poured more wine. "Why don't you translate?"

"She has learned this phrase."

"Enriki is wounded, Tol is wounded, Asa is wounded, you're wounded," Lis shook his head. "I think we're in trouble."

"It is not so bad. I, Tol and Asa will be okay tomorrow. You, Nik and Squint-Eye are fine."

"Squint-Eye is not here, maybe, something happened to him."

Orel didn't answer looking down.

Asa lay down next to Tol and hugged him closing her eyes. It was quiet in the room. They sat like that for an hour, everyone submerged in their thoughts. At last Lis raised his head.

"It's getting lighter," he said, "we'll need to go to the camp soon. Squint-Eye is not here yet."

Nikto got up. "I need a shot." He took his bag and walked to Orel's bedroom.

"Check how Enriki's doing," Orel said.

"All right."

Nikto left, and just a minute later they heard a soft knock on the door.

"Who's there?" Lis jumped up.

"Lis, it's me, Squint-Eye."

Lis quickly opened the door letting Squint-Eye in. He nearly ran in, his face was anxious.

"Arel, you're here! What happened?"

"What do you think?" Orel asked in an icy voice.

Squint-Eye looked around, saw Tol and Asa sleeping together on the sofa.

"Asa is here, too," he said getting even paler and tensing. "Bey?"

"Where have you been?"

"Arel, I… I was fulfilling the order… in the Upper City, you know…"

"You're losing qualification," Orel said. "For you to spend so much time for one lousy order – don't feed me this shit, Squint-Eye!" Orel's only eye glared.

Nikto returned to the room.

"Enriki is delirious," he said, "but I think he'll survive."

"Did you hear?" Orel said to Squint-Eye. "Pray gods for him to survive!"

"Arel, look, his clothes are all wet," Lis said looking at Squint-Eye. "Did you fall into the river?"

Squint-Eye grabbed his head convulsively as if trying to cover it from their stares. His black hair parted in the middle clung to his cheeks. Lis took his wrist roughly, turned his hand towards Orel.

"Look," he said. There were a few fresh scratches on Squint-Eye's arm.

"I scratched myself by accident," Squint-Eye said in a trembling voice. He looked at Nikto fearfully who met his gaze but said nothing.

"Do you believe him, Arel?" Lis said.

"No," Orel was turning a cigarette pack in his hands.

"Orel, for gods' sake, forgive me! I'll pay!" Squint-Eye was shaking.

"Of course," Orel tossed the pack away. "You let us down and it's your luck I need you now or I'd strangle you with my own hands. And for now, Lis, take him to the dungeon, to the post."

"No!" Squint-Eye screamed. "No!"

Asa woke up with his voice and sat in bed.

"No, not the post! I cannot stay in a locked room! Anything but that!" Squint-Eye fell on the floor. Lis pulled him by his cloak.

"Get up, enough of this comedy."

"No!" submitting to him, Squint-Eye got up. "I don't want back to the cell, to the dungeon!" His face distorted, he was shivering. "I'd better die than go to prison again!" He pushed Lis away trying to take out his knives.

Nikto was faster than him. He rushed to Squint-Eye and quickly twisted his arms back. Squint-Eye screamed. Lis pulled the knives from the sheathes on his belt and tossed them on the table.

"That's better," he punched Squint-Eye in his belly a few times. Squint-Eye bent down wheezing. Nikto didn't let him go. Lis turned to Orel.

"More? Or enough?"

Orel got up, walked up to Squint-Eye, grasped his head in his palms turning Squint-Eye's pale face upwards.

"Stop with your madness. Do you hear me?"

"Don't touch me!" Squint-Eye jerked trying to free his arms but only hurt himself worse. "Make the Unclean let me go!" He tried to turn to Nikto.

Nikto twisted his arms even more; his joints cracked. Squint-Eye shrieked in pain.

"What are you doing, Nik?" Orel asked half-surprised, half-frightened.

"He wants to break his arms off!" Lis laughed. "Go on, don't restrict yourself!"

Nikto pushed Squint-Eye away, letting him go. He cursed in Unclean.

Squint-Eye fell on the floor, his arms didn't obey him. He curled in a ball on the floor not looking at them. Orel knelt next to him. "Bert, where have you been?"

"I fulfilled the order," Squint-Eye sobbed. "Then I decided to take a swim."

"Dressed," Lis added. Squint-Eye looked at him askance, sniffed.

"Do you know that Bey attacked us while you were taking a swim?" Orel said in a calm, icy voice. "We fought without you. Enriki nearly died. Do you know why? Because you were not there to help him. He led both his and your soldiers. And Bey has flair about such things. He understood at once Enriki was alone. He sent Edin Ol to attack. Enriki was unhorsed, he was wounded, horses stomped on him. There was no one to stand by him."

"But I didn't know! Everything was quiet! You stayed in your castle, they went for a routine check, I went to fulfill an order in the Upper City," Squint-Eye swallowed hard. "Who could know Bey would attack!"

"You had to know Bey could attack any moment! You always have to be on guard, wait and be ready! You cannot do anything else," Orel squeezed his shoulders. "You cannot do whatever you want. You cannot go for a swim or wherever you've been. You don't have such a possibility. Do you understand me? You have to be here, with us, do only what I order, and as soon as you do it, you have to come back at once, for another order, and then again and again. You're not free, you're on the team!"

Squint-Eye raised his eyes at Orel.

"Am I a slave?"

"Yes, if you want that, you are a slave. If you like it this way. If you feel like a slave, it's your choice!" Orel turned to Lis. "Lis, do you feel like a slave in our team?"

"Of course, I don't!" Lis snorted looking at Squint-Eye with contempt.

"You see, Bertran Dallen, you're the one to blame in your unenviable position!" Orel continued. "You couldn't make others take you into consideration. There was time when you were one of the best! Everyone loved and respected you! I loved you too! Huh, Bert, do you remember?" Orel talked quietly, almost tenderly. "You were brave and fierce, everyone was afraid of you. And your face wasn't grey like now, your eyes were not red and swollen, always bruised. Your hair," he touched Squint-Eye's dark hair, cut jaggedly, "your hair was long. You were a real warrior. I was proud you were with me."

Squint-Eye covered his face. "Orel, shut up, it was a long time ago! And I don't care! I don't even want to recall it, I became different."

"Why? Bert, why?" Orel moved closer to him, took his scratched hand. Squint-Eye shuddered, yanking his fingers away from Orel convulsively.

"Don't! Don't call me by my name! Everyone knows here my name is Squint-Eye! My name is Squint-Eye! Squint-Eye! Squint-Eye!"

Lis looked at him in disgust.

"Why are you treating him like a child, Arel? Don't you see he became a complete nonentity?"

Squint-Eye glanced at Lis furiously.

"I hate you so much, Lis! I would cut your throat a long time ago, if Orel didn't love you. It's your luck I respect Orel and don't want to hurt his feelings!"

"Ooh, just listen to him!" Lis sat back in his place at the table, shook his head. "How scary! I'm so frightened!"

Orel laughed.

"Really, Bert, you are insane."

"You can never kill me," Lis said smirking, "because I'm much smarter than you. I'm clever and you're a real loser!"

He laughed wickedly showing his teeth filed like a saw jags – horrible, savage teeth that didn't suit his intelligent face. He kicked Squint-Eye's side. Squint-Eye bore it silently, his just lowered his head and his hair hid his face, haggard with illness.

"You're an ass," Lis said, "good for nothing. I wonder how you still manage to fulfill orders."

"I don't want any more," Squint-Eye whispered. "I don't want to fulfill any more orders."

"Of course!" Lis snorted. "It takes effort. It's much easier to inject yourself some shit and then cut yourself."

"Lis, enough," Orel ordered. "Bert – well, Squint-Eye, if it is easier for you… pull yourself together at last. You angered me a lot but I've already calmed down because you're really pathetic. Your fits became too frequent, you become unbearable, you become a burden for all of us."

Squint-Eye raised his gaze at him.

"So, what are you waiting for? Kill me!"

He pushed his short, unruly hair away from his face, raised his head proudly, one of his eyes looked at Orel bravely. His pale lips were compressed stubbornly. He was beautiful at this moment, somehow calm and peaceful. Despite everything, he was a warrior, dark, wicked and strong.

Orel shook his head.

"I can't kill you, we've been together for too long. We were together since the very beginning. You did a lot to restore our square."

"Gods damn your square," Squint-Eye growled, "my whole life went to hell because I had bad luck to be born in your territory! Where is everyone who helped you to assert your power? Where are they? Long rotting in your castle cemetery! I want to join them. If you can't kill me, tell Lis."

"No," Orel shook his head.

"Then him," Squint-Eye pointed at Nikto.

"Maybe, her?" Lis looked at Asa, then at Squint-Eye.

"Fuck you! Do you want to humiliate me even when killing!" Squint-Eye screamed.

"No one is going to kill you," Orel said. "Forget about it and try to pull yourself together. I'll talk to Nik, maybe, he will care to help you, and you'll quit that shit."

"Nik?" Squint-Eye smiled. "What a beautiful name he has now, I would never think Nikto and Nik is the same."

"Shut up," there were steely notes in Orel's voice.

"I don't want him to help me," Squint-Eye said, "I don't want anyone to help me!"

"You will try to get up yourself, right?" Orel asked. "You will try hard."

"No, I don't want to, I don't see any sense in it," Squint-Eye cracked his knuckles nervously. "Do you see any sense in this endless war? Tell me!"

"Sense?" Orel thought for a moment. "I like it, I like fighting. I enjoy it, I can't imagine my life without war, without risk. Why should I look for sense in enjoyment? I entertain myself, so, the rest doesn't matter."

Squint-Eye shook his head.

"No, it's not an answer. I could have accepted such an answer from Tol but not from you. I wouldn't even ask Tol, it is clear about him. But you, Arel, I expected a different answer, I thought you were smarter."

"Do you hear?" Lis asked. "He thinks you're a fool."

"Fine," Orel said in irritation, "don't add fuel to the fire. I would like to punish Squint-Eye but I see it won't change anything – he punishes himself, and cruelly. Bert, promise me you'll stop abusing yourself, stop mutilating your body and raping your mind. It's enough. I beg you, stop killing yourself!"

Squint-Eye didn't answer.

"Fine, if you're tired of everything and you want to die, do it with dignity! Like a warrior! Not like a street wench. Die fighting! For us to bury you with honor." Orel paused. "At night we'll start attacking and you will have a chance to make your wish come true," he said at last, got up and walked away from Squint-Eye.