The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction. Volume 13, No. 363, March 28, 1829

HUDSON AND HIS PIGS

The following is extracted from a recent American (private) letter:—

Hudson, who is a general dealer, purchased a cottage, to which pertained amongst other furniture a sty. As this was of course uninhabited, his first care was to supply it with inmates, and, having purchased a couple of fine pigs, he set off homewards with his bargains comfortably lodged in his cart. Upon arriving at Buenos Ayres, a part of the harness broke, down went the cart, and out shot Hudson and his bristly companions backwards; but unfortunately falling upon one of the poor animals, he crushed him to death. This was bad, Hudson looked blank, as who does not upon perceiving Dame Fortune playing him foul? and woeful was it indeed to witness death amongst his live stock; in this dilemma however, his wits did not utterly forsake him, and concluding that if he could make the animal bleed, it would probably be marketable and not prove a dead loss, he proceeded to act on this prudent supposition, and immediately cut its throat; which sanguinary act so alarmed the companion pig, that taking to his heels, he instantly made off (like his swinish brethren of old) towards the sea. Poor Hudson, between the dead and the living pig, was dreadfully distressed, being apprehensive of losing both; however being fortunate enough to engage a man to pursue the absconded delinquent, he proceeded home with the defunct, and by dint of ablutions, and scrapings, &c. really made of it "a very pretty pig." This done, it was hung up in the dairy or beer-cellar, I know not which, ready for market, and if Hudson plumed himself upon cheating fortune at least in one instance, he was not to blame; but, lo! in the morning, poor pig, presented a hideous and horrible spectacle, and poor Hudson stood aghast to behold it! The cats had made during the night so plentiful a repast upon his new purchase, so that instead of a handsome corpse there remained only a mangled assemblage of bloody bones, and fragments of flesh! Poor Hudson! but after all, these misfortunes were mainly attributable to his own carelessness, and as to whether he ever recovered his truant pig, I cannot say; perhaps the man may be in pursuit of him still.

S. L.

ON A PERSON SAYING HE SPENT TOO MUCH TIME ON MUSIC

 
On music that you spend your time,
You surely can't mean what you say,
For all who know you must allow
You keep time whilst you sing or play.
 

OLD PARR

Thomas Parr lived to the extraordinary age of 152 years. He was of the county of Salop, born anno 1483. He lived in the reigns of ten princes, viz. Edward IV., King Edward V., King Richard III., King Henry VII., King Henry VIII., King Edward VI., Queen Mary, Queen Elizabeth, King James, and King Charles, was buried at Westminster Abbey, November 15, 1635.

C. K. W.

THE MARCH OF INTELLECT

Colonel Despreaux, in a late pamphlet on the Police of Paris, remarks, that there seem to be different periods for different crimes. He had always observed the summer months to be comparatively months of low riot. November began the burglaries, January and February the stealing of pocket-handkerchiefs and snuff-boxes, probably from the conflux to the theatres at that time. But, that swindling transactions, and all other frauds that require peculiar dexterity, were prevalent about March.

LONDON LEVELS

The most lofty site in the immediate vicinity of London is the tavern called Jack Straw's Castle, on the brow of Hampstead Heath, which is 443 feet above the Thames. The top of the cross of St. Paul's Cathedral is 407 feet, whilst its base, or ground-line, is 52 feet. The base of the lowest building is that of the Bricklayer's Arms, Kent Road, the sill of the south door of which is only six inches above the high-water mark. The sill of the north entrance-door of Westminster Hall is only 11 inches.

Lately published, with a Frontispiece, and thirty other Engravings, price 5s.

THE ARCANA OF SCIENCE, AND ANNUAL REGISTER OF THE USEFUL ARTS, FOR 1829

"This is a valuable register of the progress of science and arts during the past year. Engravings and a low price qualify it for extensive utility"—Literary Gazette. March 21.

"An agreeable and useful little volume."—Athenæum, Feb. 18.