It seemed that the man and woman in the middle of the road were the ostler and chambermaid to the inn, who had just been convicted of a grave misdemeanour. The language in which it was designated and described by the host and hostess, energetic in form and warm in colour as it was, could not, I fear, be reproduced in this chaste narrative. It must suffice to say that the guilty persons had been discharged at a moment's notice. They were now resenting this extreme course from their station in the middle of the road; and whatever were the colours in which their own conduct had been depicted, it is greatly to be doubted, whether they could possibly have been more vivid than those applied to that of their late master and mistress.

To these people in the midst of their altercation came Cynthia and I. Almost at the same instant a similar thought entered the minds of us both. Why should we not apply for these vacated situations? We had had no experience of such duties, it was true. Our lot indeed would be arduous. But we should at least be provided with a shelter for the night; and we could relinquish our unaccustomed tasks the moment we might feel ourselves better served by doing so. A brief whispered conference as we stood apart in the road, and we decided to make application. Never for an instant did the idea cross our minds that such a highly superior ostler and chambermaid could be anything but acceptable to the good people of the inn. Yet when taking our courage in our hands we came up to the door, and I put forward my suggestion with a becoming modesty, the landlord seemed by no means so eager to close with this tempting offer as I had fully expected he would be.

"Have you a character?" says he sharply.

"Oh yes, I think I have a very good character," says I.

"Humph," says he, "you think you have a very good character, do you? Well, my lad, I should like to see it."

"Well," says I, "a character is not very easy to see, unless there is something to show it by."

"I am quite aware of that," says the landlord sharply. "However, we will leave this precious pair and go inside, light a candle and look at it."

With that, man and wife led the way within, and we followed meekly, leaving the discharged couple in the road to pursue their own devices. In what way a candle would enable them to discern our characters we could not tell, although we were half inclined to think that the common phrase "to hold a candle to" might have in fact a more literal significance than any we had dreamt of. The inn kitchen presented a rosy fire and a cosy appearance. The sight of it seemed to increase the sense of our unhappy plight, and I think we both anxiously awaited the landlord's judgment, for it was impossible to contemplate being turned out into the night again with equanimity.

"Now then, my lad," says the landlord, "I will thank you to let me see your character."

"I do not know how I can show you my character, sir," I ventured to say, "until I have been some little time in your service."

"Come, that won't do, my lad," says the landlord, "I must either see your character or out you go."

Filled with misgiving, I was about to ask the landlord for an explanation of this odd demand, when it suddenly occurred to me that he wished to have it in writing, like any other master who was about to engage a servant. I had to confess that I had not a character.

"Ha," says the landlord keenly. "Then why did you leave your last place?"

I had to confess that I had never had a last place.

"You don't mean to tell me," says the landlord, "that you have had the impidence to apply to me when you have never had no experience of the dooties?"

I had to explain that such was the case, but earnestly stated that whatever I might lack in knowledge I would certainly make up in zeal. For all that it was like to have gone hard with our engagement had it not been for the intervention of the landlord's wife. It may have been that vanity which is inseparable from the male character, but it did seem to me that from the first the good woman had been disposed to regard me with favour.

"Well, Joseph," says she at this critical moment, "he is a very proper looking young man, I am sure, and as honest looking as the day. I am sure he will do his best if he says he will. Besides, they are man and wife, which is a very main thing."

This reference to the pair of us had the effect of diverting the worthy landlord's attention to Cynthia. No sooner did he observe her than his objections became sensibly less formidable than they had been. And I am afraid it was my little madam's

beaux yeux

and not our qualifications and accomplishments that got us the situation. Yet even when we had been duly engaged at four pounds a year and our keep, there was like to have been a hitch. The landlady's closer inspection of us revealed the fact that although I might, as she had been good enough to say be "a very proper-looking young man," Cynthia in her opinion was vastly too fine-looking a young woman. She even went the length of describing her as "a blue-eyed slut." Whatever the force of her objections, however, as she herself was entirely responsible for the engagement of the ostler, she could hardly have gainsaid, much as she could have wished to have done so, her husband's right to engage the chambermaid.

It was in this singular but fortunate fashion then that we found ourselves once more provided for. The inn being on a coaching road was not such a mean one as we had at first supposed. The host and hostess of it did not seem to be such bad people either, and as they did not except to have company in the place until later in the evening, and observing that our travels had left us in a sorry condition, they allowed us to make a rough meal, and afterwards to sit by the fire a bit.

It went to my heart that my poor little companion should be brought to this pass, but she acquiesced in it so cheerfully, and with such a merry sense of the occasion as did a great deal to diminish my concern. She was indeed a courageous little creature; and there was something about her new duties that seemed to amuse her, for she went about them with a humorous zest as though she was laughing at herself while she did so. All the same we were genuinely glad when at last the hour came for our retirement. We were thoroughly wearied and footsore too.

We rose in much better heart betimes on the following morning, and set about our unaccustomed tasks with a vigour that compensated for our inexperience. After all, they were of an elementary character, not at all difficult to learn. To be sure it was more than a little strange at first to find ourselves engaged in such lowly capacities, but when after an hour or two the singularity had worn off, they became by no means irksome. Indeed, the novelty of the thing might be said to pass the time pleasantly. But as it happened, we were to be startled out of these pursuits in the rudest manner.

It chanced that about noon I had led the horse of a gentleman, who had passed the previous night at the inn, out of the stable round to the front door. And while I was holding its head against its master's departure there arose a clatter of wheels on the road. In a minute, or less, a chaise drew up at the door. No glance was needed at its occupants to tell me to whom it belonged. The peculiar shape and colour were quite sufficient to advertise me of that matter. It was the Duke in person, accompanied by the indefatigable Mr. Waring. His Grace lost no time in relinquishing the reins, and together they stepped from the vehicle to ease their legs somewhat, and entered the inn in quest of any little refreshment it might afford them. Happily neither paid much heed to me. Indeed beyond an order to give an eye to the horses and to fetch them a drink of water, I claimed no share of their attention.

No sooner had they entered the inn, however, than in the midst of some self-congratulation on my present impunity from discovery, I was beset with a sudden fear of Cynthia. What more likely than that they should directly encounter her, unless she could be apprised of their proximity? She must be warned at all costs. Fortunately at that moment the owner of the horse, whose head I was holding, appeared and relieved me of its charge. Thereupon I hastily entered to advise Cynthia of her danger. Yet I did so only to find that the worst had happened already.

From the parlour the Duke's voice issued in a tremendous key. There could be no doubt that it was as I feared. I lost no time in hastening to my poor little one's assistance, if only to divert a portion of her father's wrath. The scene that confronted me when I entered the inn parlour would not by any means have been devoid of a certain whimsicality had it not had so sinister a bearing on our fortunes. The innkeeper and his wife stood aghast. Mr. Waring was languidly helping himself to a pinch of snuff with an air of the frankest amusement. Cynthia was in a dreadful taking, and weeping bitterly. The Duke, her father, was hopping about like a pea on a hot plate, and threatening to go off any minute into an apoplexy. At my appearance he very nearly did so.

"You villain," he squeaked, shaking his fist in my face, and dancing round me, "you impudent, unblushing villain! Have I routed you out at last? Have I run you to earth, you damned young scoundrel? By God, you shall pay a price; yes, you shall, so help me. Your purse may be bankrupt, but you shall pay this account with the last drop of blood that is left in your black heart. Pass your box, Humphrey."

Mr. Waring passed his box with a grim chuckling countenance; and his Grace paused in the midst of his violent denunciation to make use of it. It appeared to lend him succour, whereon he continued with renewed vigour. I would not like to set down here the number of hard names he put his tongue to, every one of which was levelled at my devoted head. To be sure I had used him pretty badly, but I fear that I was not in the least repentant. I listened to his passionate abuse which he delivered in a curious senile staccato, with an amusement possibly as great as Mr. Waring's own, and certainly more cynical. I don't think at the moment I cared much about the pass I was come to. I was utterly desperate.

Poor little Cynthia, bitterly frightened as she was, and despite the tears that streamed from her eyes, was still very brave. She could not bear to hear my name degraded in this manner. In the face of her father's wrath she came to my side and took my hand, and I loved her the better for the deed.

"Landlord," says his Grace, "don't stand gaping there like a pig on a spit. Just have the goodness to bestir yourself, and fetch the constables. This young scoundrel shall not go out of my sight, except in custody. The law hath wanted him long, and as I'm a person, it shall have him, too."

It was somewhere about this point in the scene, I think, that a bold expedient came unexpectedly into my head. It had a full measure of audacity befitting the occasion. If only we could make a dash out into the road and gain possession of the chaise one short instant before our enemies, all was not lost even now. It was truly a remote chance, yet it was the only one that offered. Therefore no sooner had it entered my mind than I set my will to work to put it in practice. With this end in view I gave a furtive eye to the position of the parlour door. I found myself even now the nearest person to it. I must contrive to get still nearer and acquaint Cynthia of the nature of my desperate design without arousing the suspicions of our furious papa or the languid Mr. Waring.

As the landlord stood hesitating as to which course he should adopt, the Duke directed some attention to him, and gave him freely of his orders. It was while our papa was thus engaged that I bent down to Cynthia and whispered my audacious plan into her ear. From that moment we turned all our energies towards getting closer to the door without being suspected of doing so. Every step we could encroach might presently be of the greatest possible service. Unfortunately the fact that the parlour-door was closed was a great barrier. We should not have time to open it and get away.

The Duke having at last prevailed on the landlord to go for the constables, it was with inexpressible anxiety that we watched him go out of the room. If he would but leave that door unlatched we had just a chance of getting to the chaise in time. With a thrill of satisfaction we saw him go out, leaving the door wide open behind him. The Duke and Mr. Waring were apart at the other end of the room, quite oblivious of any scheme we might be evolving. They had forgotten apparently that a chaise and a pair of horses stood outside the door. Carefully noting the actions of our enemies and the degree of attention they thought fit to pay us, we sidled nearer and nearer, an inch at a time, to the parlour-door. And at last, having concluded that the landlord had got well clear of the premises, and was therefore not likely to present any obstacle, I decided that now or never was the moment. I whispered my last brief instructions to my little companion; and then taking our careless captors entirely unawares, she darted out through the door, and I as swiftly followed her.

The scheme had been thoroughly matured in my mind. To allow Cynthia time to run on and gain access to the chaise, a proper control of the reins, and to set the horses in motion, I did not follow her at once, but preferred to bang the parlour-door in the face of our pursuers, and clung with both hands to the handle that they might be impeded as much as possible. Once aroused to their danger, they lost not a second of time in besieging the door, but with my back firmly planted against the opposite wall I was quite a match for them in the matter of hauling. I was able to detain them the wrong side therefore, until a cry from Cynthia informed me that she had fulfilled her part of the business. Thereon I suddenly released the handle, and our enemies found themselves so unexpectedly in possession, that they fell back one upon another, whilst I ran forth to the chaise.

It was already starting briskly down the road. I was able to overtake it and get in by the time the Duke and his friend showed at the door; and though they ran after us for a few yards they soon came to the conclusion, with the horses fleeing faster and faster, that immediate pursuit was hopeless, and relinquished the chase accordingly. We had not gone very far, however, when we overtook the landlord on his way to fetch the constables. That puzzled fellow made no effort to detain us, and in that I think he was well advised.

It was some little time before we could get the excitement engendered by these events out of our minds, and realize that we were still in possession of our freedom, that most cherished thing, for which we were doing and suffering so much. We had a chaise and a pair of horses too. But I do not think that any two persons could have looked so little in their places in such a handsome vehicle. The appearance we presented must have been highly ridiculous. Neither of us had cloaks or coverings for our heads, whilst I, in the pursuit of my late occupation, had divested myself of my coat in addition. We were thus in absurd contrast to our fine manner of procedure. Having put an honest mile between us and the inn, we began to examine the contents of the chaise with an eager curiosity, not unmingled with anxiety. The first articles to rejoice our hearts were several thick rugs, which we lost no time in putting to use. There was a case of pistols, too; and over and above these things we discovered to our supreme satisfaction a couple of travelling valises, the property of Mr. Waring and his Grace.

Our straits were much too dire for our minds to be greatly oppressed with the morality of things. To us it seemed as though these travelling valises had come from heaven. Robinson Crusoe on his island could not have had a devouter thankfulness when he recovered the articles from the wreck than we had in the contemplation of our treasure. We experienced an exquisite curiosity as we speculated on what they might contain. However, we deferred the opening of them, partly because the time and place would for the present be ill-chosen (we must put many more miles between us and the enemy before we could venture to draw rein) and again, because we desired, like a pair of children, to draw out to the outmost the pains of our delicious expectation.

CHAPTER XX

DISADVANTAGES OF A CHAISE AND A PAIR OF HORSES

In this rapt condition of mind, and in this remarkable fashion did we proceed along the road. Through villages and hamlets, past churches and inns, up hill and down we took our gallant way. The sense of rapid motion made without the least inconvenience to our own jaded limbs, coming after hours of arduous travelling by their painful exercise, was incomparable, unless it be likened to what the soul must feel when wafted to Elysium on a cloud, after suffering the slow agonies of death. The exhilaration of our progress was wonderful indeed. Steaming along the highways in an elegant equipage, the late oppression fell off our spirits and gaiety came out in us once again. We did not know whither we were going, to be sure; it was sufficient that we were fortified with ways and means once more, and that we had so audaciously contrived to leave our pursuers in the lurch.

"I wonder what are the contents of these boxes," says I, indulging a delightful speculation as we sped along.

"I suppose we ought not to touch them, whatever they are," says Cynthia nervously.

"In that case," says I, "we must not open them."

"Oh, I think we might safely do that," says Cynthia in a voice of the deepest disappointment. "Although they are not ours, that is no reason, as far as I can see, why we should not have just one peep at what they are. That will be doing harm to no one, will it?"

"I fear it will be otherwise," says I mischievously. "For if we get so far as the opening of the boxes I am sure we shall not be content with a mere inspection of the contents."

"Oh, Jack," says the indignant Cynthia, "how can you talk so. I am sure you cannot mean to infer that we should be guilty of anything – of anything we ought not to be guilty of."

"Of appropriating articles that belong to others, for example."

"Yes," says she, "that is what I meant."

"Well," says I, "is there not the melancholy case of our refusing the highwayman's booty in one form and accepting it in another?"

"That I am sure we did not," says Mistress Virtue. "We did not ask him to pay our bill."

"To be sure we did not," says I, "but he paid it, none the less. Now, had we acted in that matter according to your fine ideas, we should, in the first place, have delivered that highwayman up to the King's justice; then the rape of the squire's guineas would never have been committed, and the landlord's bill would not have been paid at all. That is why one is ever so perplexed by these high principles of conduct. Why draw the line in one place and not in another? Do we not make these arbitrary distinctions and often deny ourselves all manner of things thereby, when we can least afford to do without them, and yet there is not a day that passes but what we commit offences against our codes of honour with a cheerful heart. So much depends upon the title by which an act is dignified. Persons in our degree of life refer to certain sources of their emolument as privilege and monopoly, whereas if they were enjoyed by those in a humbler sphere, who would hesitate to denounce them as robbery and fraud? Now these boxes being in our possession, and as we are quite destitute of means, is not there a hundred ways by which we can prevail upon our consciences to permit us to enjoy their contents?"

Cynthia stoutly denied this specious reasoning at the time. But after awhile, when the horses began to flag, and hunger, our ancient dogged enemy, began once more to assert himself, she was inclined to look at the matter in a rather more lenient light.

"We must incontinently perish of starvation by the way," says I, "unless these chests of Mr. Waring and his Grace, your papa, can help us. Now which course shall we adopt? And we to take the articles therein as a loan, fully intending to recompense their owners at a more fortunate season? or shall we simply take them without any reservation whatever, as lawful prizes won from the enemy in open fight?"

"I think I like the idea of the 'borrowing' best," says the scrupulous Cynthia.

"Very well, then, we will effect a loan," says I.

We could hardly venture to pull up at the door of any reputable inn in our present state. We were the beggars no longer, but a lady and gentleman of quality. Persons who drive about the country a pair of fine horses and a chariot of the first fashion are compelled to support their responsibilities. That is ever the eternal drawback. I, clad in the meanest of garments, divested of my coat and hat, would have been entirely at ease in my former mean character, and should have passed unnoticed in it. But once I drove to the inn door in the Duke's chaise, attired in that fashion, I should be the talk of the place. Therefore I brought the horses to a halt, in a secluded part of the road, and proceeded to investigate the nature of the articles in the chests, in order to see if they could afford an embellishment to our present unfortunate garb. We hoped to discover some money, too, for we had not so much as a penny between us.

However, no sooner did we try to open these valises, than we received a serious set back. They were both securely locked. Search as we might among the cushions of the chaise, we could find, as we anticipated, never a trace of the keys. We were greatly dashed, but still it was an opportunity for the display of our resources. I got out of the vehicle, and after much poking about in a ditch at the side of the road, discovered a heavy stone. Armed with this, I attempted to knock off the fastenings from Mr. Waring's box. It was a tedious, weary business, for they were stout indeed, but at last patience, if not virtue, met with its reward. The lid flew open and disclosed the precious contents.

Conscious of our ragged, penniless condition, we enjoyed every thrill that such treasure trove could afford us. To prolong our pleasure we refrained from all reckless rummaging, but drew forth and duly examined each article in the order in which it was packed. First came a suit of clothes, and then silk stockings, shoes, another suit of clothes, handkerchiefs, a razor, brushes, a cocked hat, and all the details that go to make up the masculine attire.

But although we delved to the bottom of the box and searched every inch of it, we could not discover so much as a copper piece in money. This was a severe disappointment, and we addressed ourselves fearfully to the opening of the Duke's box, for should that prove barren of it too, our pass would be indeed a sore one.

It was no easier matter to force this box than it had been the other, but at last our task was accomplished and the thing stood open before us. The articles within it bore a striking resemblance to those in the other, only that they were not so elegant and costly. They began with a shirt and a white cotton night-cap, and below we came upon a wig and a dressing-gown, but although our hearts might beat never so wildly it was in vain that we looked for money. Indeed, the only things that we might regard as a substitute for it were a few trifling articles of jewellery, such as a solitaire and a gold pin or two for the Duke's neckcloth, a pearl button, and a pair of shoes with silver buckles.

"Oh," says I, bitterly, "never again will I be at the trouble of picking his Grace's baggage if this be the manner of his travelling. One would have thought that a duke of all people would have gone equipped handsomely. I expected to find guineas galore; or, allowing his Grace to be a thrifty soul, and that he preferred to carry them in his boots or next his heart, I had certainly looked for a profusion of gold diamond ornaments. Why, curse it all, never one of his toilet requisites hath so much as a pearl or silver handle. Why, even his night-cap, which should be studded with precious stones, like the fez of the Shah of Persia, is but a common affair of white cotton. A Duke is not alive to the responsibilities of his position who goes about with these mean accompaniments."

"Poor papa," says Cynthia, sadly, "I confess that I ought to have known that we must go wanting should we rely on him. It was ever his chief foible to make a halfpenny go as far as two farthings possibly could. Even the solitaire surprises me. I am sure he must be proposing to break his journey at the house of the rich widow at Bath, to whom he hath been paying his addresses this twelvemonth, else he would never have encumbered himself with such an extravagant finery."

We were, indeed, bitterly disappointed. Here we were, two persons of quality, with our own horses and chariot, with two boxes of luggage and a case of pistols, and not a grey groat piece to the two of us. This fact seemed to acquire a new irony from our otherwise liberal circumstances. Whatever could we do? Cynthia suggested that we should sell one of the horses, as two were not essential. However, I was firm in the opinion that so long as we retained the chaise we must have two horses to draw it, for the Duke was certain to lose not an instant in pursuing us in the hottest manner. I then proposed that we should part with the vehicle itself and both the horses, and resume our wandering nomad life once more.

Cynthia shuddered at this. She had plainly no zest now for our former mode, nor could it be wondered at, poor child, when her trials and exertions came to be considered. Had there only been me in the case I should not have hesitated to try to find a purchaser for our equipage, difficult as the matter might have proved. For I was convinced that we were really in a more unsafe situation now than ever before. It would be impossible to avoid publicity; and at every inn we came to we should be the objects of conjecture, and everything pertaining to us would be discussed and commented on. Besides, we could no longer sleep where we listed. The horses would require rest and succour whatever the deprivations of their masters.

After addressing and re-addressing ourselves to the great problem of how to obtain the service of innkeepers without paying for the same, we came to the conclusion that we could best hope to do so by adopting a former expedient, which was attended with not unhappy results. In lieu of hard cash we must present them with a grievous tale of being stopped by a highwayman, who had taken our last penny. To do this with the best effect, however, we must neglect no opportunity of maintaining in our own persons the status of our chaise and horses. My own attire did well enough for an ostler, but as our friend Mr. Sadler had pointed out, it was likely to detract from the story we had to tell. Therefore, I decided to exchange my raiment for the more appropriate clothes of Mr. Waring. I did not apprehend any difficulty in regard to the fit, as we were greatly alike in stature.

With this end in view I selected the necessary articles of apparel from the box, and left Cynthia to take care of our vehicle, whilst I retired into the shelter of a neighbouring hedge and made a complete transformation of my outward semblance. Mrs. Cynthia was hugely delight