Healing the Lawman's Heart

Chapter Three

Julia stopped by her house on the way home from the hospital. The emergency enclosure firm had battened down the hatches and the firefighters had removed the tree and secured the electric lines, but it would be weeks before her house was habitable. She hurried upstairs, grabbed clothing and toiletries she’d need for herself and the boys, then saw the message light flashing on her landline as she descended the stairs.

She hit the message code. The unexpected tones of her ex-husband’s voice made her chest ache. “Ignoring me, Julia? Doing what you do best, hiding your head in the sand to avoid reality? Well here’s the deal, Martin and Connor are my kids as much as yours, and if I have to go to a judge to enforce my visitation rights, I’ll do it. Don’t make me bring you to court, Julia. Call me and set up a time for me to have my sons. We’ll meet somewhere in the middle.”

Julia’s heart froze solid, the phone in her hand.

Meet in the middle?

Did Vic expect her to drive halfway to Ithaca and hand Martin and Connor over to him after he’d spent the past two years ignoring them?

Not gonna happen.

Ice pulsed through her veins as she smacked down the phone. The sound of his voice was antagonistic, and condescending, as if distancing herself from his affairs was an over-reaction on her part.

She paced the long living room, examining her options.

Vic had visitation rights, but he’d never bothered to use them. He’d shrugged off her moving to Kirkwood Lake two years ago, and other than the infrequent child support checks, he’d stayed out of their lives.

Until now.

Why now?

She didn’t have a clue. Her head hurt but she wasn’t about to take one of those pain pills and cloud her thinking.

The phone rang.

She jumped, stared at the caller ID and heaved a sigh of relief when her father’s number flashed. “Hey, Dad.”

“Hey yourself. You okay? I thought you just had to grab a few things. Need me to come around that way?”

“No, but thanks. I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine, Jules.” Her father wasn’t the kind of guy anyone fooled for long. “You sound like you’re ready to pop someone in the jaw.”

Her father knew her well.

“Is your head hurting? Do you need me to drive you back here?”

“No, nothing like that.” She paused, then blew out a breath. “Vic called.”

Marty Harrison growled. “He hasn’t contacted you in over a year.”

“Almost eighteen months, and that was to explain why he couldn’t take the boys for their two-week summer visit because he was too busy finishing up his course work to become a school administrator.”

“I remember. What does he want?”

“He wants the boys over spring break. And he says he wants his one weekend a month like the court promised.”

“Now? After all this time? Why?”

Julia had no answers. Only more questions. “I don’t know.”

Her father breathed deeply, then offered typical Marty Harrison wisdom. “Well, we know he wants something. Vic is nothing if not predictable, but there’s no sense worrying about it tonight. You need to sleep and we’ll tackle this tomorrow. Let him stew on it overnight, Jules.”

“Which means we both stew on it.”

“Trials of parenthood, honey. No one said it would be easy.”

True, but then no one warned her that her good-looking, high school teacher husband would stray outside their marriage. Call her naive, but being raised in the Harrison house, good men didn’t do things like that. Which meant she’d either placed her trust foolishly...

Put a check in the yes column on that one!

Or she wasn’t as slim or attractive as she’d been when they dated nine years before.

Another check in the yes column, with a helping of self-recrimination poured on top, like chocolate glaze on a doughnut.

“And stop beating yourself up, Julia. That’s not how I raised you.”

“My spunk’s on low tonight, Dad. It’s been a rough forty-eight hours.”

“You escaped two car wrecks and a falling tree with nothing more than a couple of cuts, bruises and bangs. Pretty positive result in my book, kid.”

She laughed because he was absolutely right. “Two of which were not my fault, of course.”

“And neither was the broken marriage,” Marty told her bluntly. “We’ll figure this out in the morning. I love you, honey.”

“Love you back. I’ll be at your place in a few minutes.”

She hung up and stared at boarded up wall in front of her.

Broken and battered. Her heart had felt like that wall when she’d realized Vic had cheated for the second time.

Was she unlovable? Not pretty enough? Not thin enough? Gone too much? What did these other women have that she didn’t?

Why does it have to be about you? Why can’t it be about him? Maybe some guys are just jerks?

Rational argument said Vic Gentry was a two-timing jerk. But in the cold light of day, her heart knew what her head denied: he hadn’t just turned to others.

He’d turned away from her. And she wasn’t at all sure she wasn’t somewhat to blame for that.

* * *

“Oh. ’Scuse me!”

A miniature version of Julia’s blue eyes under a mop of blond curls met Tanner’s eyes as they collided at Zach’s side door the next afternoon. “Whoa. I gotcha, bud.”

“Connor? Are you okay?” Julia’s voice called from somewhere inside Zach’s house.

The little boy rolled his eyes. “I’m fine! I’m going to see if Beansy’s friend had her babies yet.”

“Go across lots, not around the road.”

“Mom, I know all this stuff. I’m five! I’m not a baby.”

“Didn’t say you were, and—” Julia stopped as she got to the side door, looking surprised to see him. “Tanner. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were here.”

“Julia.” He nodded toward the kid. “Yours?”

“On good days.” She grinned at the boy and laid her hand on top of his head. “Be good for Grandpa, okay?”

“Grandpa and me work together on weekends.” He pulled a knit hat down on his head and stood as tall and straight as a kid could while he addressed Tanner. “He’s teaching me everything about farming.”

“I expect he’s mighty pleased to have a helper like you around,” Tanner said.

“Two helpers.” Connor shoved his feet into old-fashioned rubber farm boots. “Martin’s already over there, checking on the mommy goat, but I had to practice my reading words. Which was kinda dumb because I knew them all already.” He darted a dark glance at his mother, a look she ignored completely. He raced out the door, then stopped and stuck out a little hand in Tanner’s direction.

“I’m Connor.”

“My name’s Tanner. Nice to meet you.”

“Do you like goats?”

“More than life itself,” Tanner replied with a quick side smile toward Julia.

Connor leaned in as if sharing a very big secret. “We’re going to have baby goats soon. And baby goats are called kids just like kids are called kids.”

Tanner offered the boy an exaggerated look of surprise, as if Connor’s revelation was truly amazing.

“And they’re going to get born, like, any day now. Maybe even today.” He gave Julia a miffed look. “My mom delivers babies but she says Daisy is better having her babies on her own because goats know how to do those kind of things. Do you think they do?”

He shrugged. “It makes sense, I guess.”

“Well, I hope so because I’ve been waiting for these babies a very long time.” Connor’s serious expression mirrored his words. “Every day I pray and pray for these babies, and she hasn’t had them yet.”

“Animals have been giving birth forever.” Julia’s calm tone said nature would prevail. “I expect Miss Daisy will be fine, Connor. And if there’s an emergency, I can be on call, okay?”

“Except she’s all alone at night,” the boy muttered as he pushed out the door. “So I don’t know who’s going to take care of her then and I know Grandpa’d let us bring her in the basement. Just until.”

“God will take care of her,” Julia suggested as if God could be counted on for everything.

Tanner knew better.

The boy’s scowl said he sided with Tanner. The door banged shut behind him as Julia stepped aside. “The patient awaits. Zach was excited that you were coming over.”

“You’re on nursing duty today?”

“Well, he’s out of my area of expertise, but I figured whining’s whining and he’s not all that different than the five-year-old that just scolded me on his way out the door.”

“I’m not whining.” Zach made a face as they walked into the living room. “I’m too drugged up to whine properly. Give it a week.”

“I can hardly wait.” Julia stage-whispered the words. “I can disappear and give you guys time to visit if you’ve got sensitive cop stuff you need to discuss.”

“We don’t, but thanks. Tanner, you want coffee? Tea? Piper made a pitcher of tea this morning because the long winter is getting on her nerves.”

“I’m sure it has nothing to do with the grumbling husband stuck in the living room.” Julia grinned at him from across the room and added, “I kind of love that you’re trapped. How mean is that? I can sling sisterly barbs in your direction and you’re pretty much helpless.”

Zach glowered at her, but Tanner saw the sparkle in his eyes as well, a look that said he loved his sister.

Tanner loved his sister, too. He and Neda did everything together as kids, and he’d even walked her down the aisle at her wedding. But now he shied away from her because she had two little ones. He was missing a lot of life in his self-imposed cocoon.

“Tanner. You told me you have a sister, right?” Zach asked.

“I did say that.”

“Is she a pain in the neck?”

“Definitely.”

“Does she bake you brownies with walnuts and chocolate chips?” Julia brought a plate over and set it on the small table they’d rigged next to Zach’s recliner. “And bring you the latest Sudoku puzzles to keep your mind sharp while you while away the next few months? And did she or did she not give you a gift subscription to Netflix?”

“Once I’m awake enough to watch anything, I’ll thank you.” Zach gave her a tired smile. “You know I’m grateful. Just a little grumpy and medicated.”

“Blah, blah, blah.” She leaned over and kissed Zach’s forehead, winked at Tanner and started to leave, but Zach called her back.

“Julia, sit a minute. I want to hear your plans for the clinic, and with Tanner helping—”

“Not necessary, but again, thank you for offering.” She shot a bright smile at Tanner, but he wasn’t about to be sloughed off. Helping out was something he wanted and needed to do, for his own peace of mind.

“I’m good for grunt work.” He said it mildly but made sure she knew he wasn’t about to budge. “So what’s the configuration you took to the town for approval?”

She looked trapped.

Good.

He might hate the idea of having a pregnancy center there. But he wasn’t against health care, so he’d swallow his personal misgivings and man up.

“A small reception area with about a dozen seats around the perimeter. Then a short hall with an exam room on either side, and one at the base of the hall.”

“T-shaped formation.”

“Yes. And an alcove for weigh-ins, drawing blood, entering notes into the system.”

“System?”

She nodded. “The grant covers a computer system that’s integrated with the main computer at the home office. We’ll be able to enter data from both sites.”

“Will the computers be locked up at night?”

She frowned.

“To thwart things like what happened four blocks away when Zach got hurt.” He indicated Zach with a glance. “Visible equipment makes you an easier target for thieves.”

“They’ll be built in, actually.”

“Hardwired?” Zach asked.

She stared at him blankly. “What does that mean?”

Zach laughed without thinking, then grimaced in pain. “That means built right into the electrical system. No plugs.”

“Yes. I’m sorry, I thought you realized, but we upgraded right after Jack was born so you haven’t seen the new computers. And these machines wouldn’t do anyone any good, actually.” She brought her attention back to Tanner. “They’re not meant for anything other than entering and transferring patient records, so why would anyone want to steal them?”

“First, you’re giving thieves way more credit for brains than most of them deserve,” Tanner told her. “And second, on the black market, everything has a price and a buyer, if for nothing else than to hold information hostage.”

“Why would anyone do that?”

Zach and Tanner spoke in unison. “Money.”

She pressed her lips together as reality hit home. “I guess that’s a risk we have to take.”

“Not if you go old-school and use paper at the clinic, then have someone update at the main office each day.”

“Who has time for that?” Julia directed the question to Zach but stared at Tanner.

“That’s what a lot of practices did until a few years ago,” he reminded. “I’m not telling you how to do your job, Julia, but I’m looking at this from a police perspective. Out of sight is always better. Lessen the temptation, you avoid the crime.”

“So we have to either hire a data input person to transfer files at the main office each day or risk a B and E”?

“If you have part-time personnel, couldn’t they tack an extra five hours onto their weekly schedule to upload daily information?”

Now she looked interested. “You know, that might work, Tanner. We have a couple of people who might benefit from those five extra hours. And if we didn’t have to expand the integrated system, we could use the money for something else.”

“Everyone’s happy that way.” Tanner reached for a brownie. “Would you care to join me in a celebratory brownie?”

She eyed the plate, then shook her head. “I’m going to pass.” She stood, glanced at her watch and said, “Actually, Zach, I’m going to head to the gym as long as Tanner’s here and the boys are with Dad. Call my cell if you need anything. Tanner, are you okay here for half an hour, give or take?”

He hoisted the tray of brownies. “Preseason baseball on cable and these. We’re good.”

She grabbed her purse, gave the brownies one last look and started for the door.

“When do we start demolition?”

“Soon, but I have to check Dad’s schedule.”

He made a “call me” sign with his right hand. The move made her laugh, but it wasn’t hard to see the shadows in her eyes. She left and he turned to Zach. “Does she hate me?”

“Julia doesn’t hate anyone, not even her stupid ex-husband who cheated on her, made her feel like dirt, and ignored his kids for over two years and now expects her to jump through hoops so he can visit them.”

Tanner held up a hand. “I’m going to stop asking you questions because the meds have unhinged your tongue and your sister might kill you for telling me all that.”

“All what?”

Zach looked confused, which meant the meds were doing a number on him. Tanner grabbed the remote, turned on a preseason Pittsburgh game and settled into the wide-armed chair with the tray of brownies close. “Baseball it is, my friend.”

But Zach’s words ignited a curl of sympathy wrapped around a thread of anger. What kind of idiot cheated on a beautiful woman like Julia and ignored his kids? The thought of a father dismissing his children frustrated him. He’d never had the chance to carry, rock or play with baby Solomon.

A tiny part of him wondered, for just a moment, if maybe Sol and Ashley were together in heaven. If maybe, just maybe, she was holding their son in her arms, and whispering stories about his dad on Earth.

He shoved the sentimental thoughts away, but as he did, a cardinal lit on the tree outside Zach’s front window. The red bird danced, waved a wing, then danced on the branch again.

Beauty in everyday things.

Ashley had talked about that all the time, and he thought she was being cute and fanciful, but right now, seeing the bird, imagining Sol tucked in Ashley’s arms made it almost seem possible.

The game came on and when he glanced back up, the cardinal was gone.

For a moment he’d felt hopeful, as if there might be more to this life than he believed.

But that was probably nonsense, whereas baseball was real, so he concentrated on team rivalries because he understood that.

Life and faith, intertwined? Not so much.

* * *

Sixty minutes of exercise did nothing but make Julia hungrier.

She’d ignored the brownies.

She’d turned away from the fresh hoagie bread her father brought home from the McKinney Dairy Farm store, baked daily by an Amish woman over on County Road 4.

She’d grabbed a pack of fresh veggies, told herself that cucumbers were the new chocolate, but it was no use. She needed coffee, good coffee, and she needed it now. The best place to find that was at Tina’s Corner Café. The popular gathering spot was now tucked into an expanded corner of The Pelican’s Nest, a family owned restaurant on the shores of Kirkwood Lake. No way was she going back home without a proper caffeine fix and maybe some girl talk. Knowing she was going to be working side by side with a grumpy cop and trying to analyze Vic’s moves made the company of other women essential.

She walked through the door, smiled at Tina, looked at Tina’s aunt Laura and promptly burst into tears.

“Julia! Sweetie, what is it?” Laura wrapped her arms around Julia and hugged her close. “Are you okay? Are the boys okay? Is it Zach? Or your father?”

Julia shook her head, tried to talk, failed miserably, then sighed when Tina handed over a fistful of tissues. “Men.” Tina muttered the word with typical Martinelli emphasis. “Can’t live with ’em. Can’t shoot ’em.”

“Which of course would be a dreadful sin,” added Laura, “but if some wretched man has broken your heart, honey, I’m not afraid to help make his life miserable, and I’ll do it in the most sincere manner a Sunday-school teaching woman can employ and stay right with God.”

Julia burst out laughing. The thought of sweet, mild-mannered Laura D’Allesandro taking up Julia’s cause sounded real good right now. “I’ll be fine, and yes, it’s a man. How did you know?” she asked, and Tina just rolled her eyes.

“Let’s just say I used to be familiar with the symptoms. Before Max, that is.” She smiled when she mentioned her husband’s name. “I’ve kissed a few frogs in my time.”

“Kiss a few toads, sweep our share of ashes,” Laura exclaimed with a quick swipe of a washcloth to the empty tables.

“But you didn’t marry the frogs,” Julia reminded Tina. “You waited for the prince to come along.”

Tina’s expression said otherwise. “I was engaged to one and almost engaged to the other. So pretty close, darling.”

“You’re among friends, now tell us. What’s going on?” Laura asked. “You’re never upset, you’re the most even-keeled, optimistic person I know. This has got to be really nasty to have you this riled up.”

“Coffee, first,” Tina inserted. “I think a caramel macchiato would be just right.”

Julia glanced up at the calorie board and hesitated.

Tina groaned.

Laura sighed. “Don’t tell me a pretty thing like you is worried about her weight? Because I’ll just fall down laughing.”

“And I’ll join her, and then there’ll be no one to make your coffee,” Tina continued. She reached out and grabbed Julia’s hands as Julia sank onto a counter stool. “I don’t know the story, but I’m going to guess he cheated on you and you’re trying to figure out why.”

Julia stared at her. “How did you know that?”

“Because women tend to assume it’s our fault first.” Tina moved back behind the counter and started building Julia’s drink. “We see their cheating as the result of our lack, instead of their choice to stray.”

“Which is ridiculous, of course,” Laura chimed in. “What does God tell us about women in Proverbs 31? That a woman opens her hands to the poor and reaches out to the needy. That she works for her family, and provides for them? I don’t recall seeing anything about being a size six, Julia. Or trying to reform ourselves to win affection. Shouldn’t we be loved as God loves us? For ourselves?”

“It’s wonderful in theory.” Julia smiled at Tina when she set the steaming caramel coffee in front of her. “Unfortunately reality says something different these days.”

“My dose of today’s reality is to head to work.”

The sound of Tanner’s voice made all three ladies turn as he came around the corner from the main restaurant dining area.

Laura smiled. Clearly familiar with Tanner’s tastes, Tina called a greeting, grabbed a large to-go coffee cup and moved to the espresso machine.

Julia was glad she hadn’t been griping about Tanner when he walked in. She met his eyes as he approached the coffee counter. “Thanks for hanging with Zach this afternoon.”

“Piper’s stepmother came over to make sure he was doing okay. He drifted in and out of sleep the whole time I was there, which meant I could cheer for the Pirates and no one reamed me out. I found it oddly disappointing.”

“You’ll be safe for a while because he’ll be on heavy-duty pain meds for days.” Julia sipped her coffee, glad she hadn’t insisted on the plain black version. This amazing concoction was so much better. Or maybe it was her proximity to this puzzling man with soft but tough gray eyes. “But he’ll be glad you came by, Tanner.”

Tina extended his coffee across the curved wooden coffee bar and waved off his money. “You know better, even though you’re not at this end of the lake all that often,” she teased. “Coffee for cops is on the house.”

“You just want me to be nice to Max, since he’s new on the force.”

“After ten years of military special ops, I can assure you that Max Campbell has plenty of tricks up his sleeve,” Tina told him, “so I’d be careful treating him like a normal probie. Just a word to the wise.”

“I got to work with him last month.” Tanner raised his coffee cup in salute. “And he did okay. For a military guy.”

Tina laughed. “I won’t tell him you said so because I know how the loyalty game plays out. But just so you know, he spoke well of you, too.”

Tanner grinned. He turned back toward Julia. “According to your father, I’ll see you Tuesday night. Six o’clock. Your place.”

He aimed a smile at the two women behind Julia, then walked out. Julia read their expressions, and put up her hands. “It’s not what you think, even though he’s funny, gentle, sensitive and wretchedly good-looking.”

“It should be.” Laura exchanged a look with Tina, a look that said Tanner Reddington was positively swoon-worthy. “Oh, honey, I promise you. It should be.”

“I have enough on my plate right now.” Julia watched Tanner as he crossed the parking lot. Tall, square-shouldered and decisive, he looked as good from behind as he did from the front, but something in his reticence tripped mental red flags. She switched her attention back to the women. “For the moment I’m trying to figure out what my ex-husband is up to all of a sudden. There is no time in the world for that. Unfortunately.” She waved toward the door Tanner had just closed.

“Mmm-hmm.” Laura’s knowing smile said she wasn’t buying it. Tina’s said the same.

For a moment, Julia wondered if that gleam in Tanner’s eye went deeper than gentle amusement. Was he interested in her?

Of course not. He was always one step shy of rude during their conversations, and what she absolutely, positively did not want, ever again, was to have to prove herself to a man, because Laura was right. God’s command to man was to cherish women, to love them as he loved the church.

She’d lived that failure once. She never wanted to face that outcome again.