Baby in a Million

Excitement permeated the atmosphere Letter to Reader Title Page CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER NINE CHAPTER TEN EPILOGUE Copyright

Excitement permeated the atmosphere

“Your son is twenty-three inches long and weighs in at nine pounds, four ounces. Being born three weeks early doesn’t seem to have fazed this big guy at all.”

Ashley had thought she knew what happiness was until her wiggly baby, who made newborn noises, was wrapped in a blanket and placed in the crook of her arm.

Her eyes raced from the curly dark hair to each adorable feature. “Cabe.” She spoke to her little boy. “We’re here. Your mommy and daddy are right here.”

Cord’s masked face was right next to hers. “We are, son.”

Dear Reader,

Welcome to

Everyone has special occasions in their life—times of celebration and excitement. Maybe it’s a romantic event, an engagement or a wedding—or perhaps a wonderful family occasion, such as the birth of a baby. Or even a personal milestone—a thirtieth or fortieth birthday!

These are all important times in our lives and in THE BIG EVENT! you can see how different couples react to these events. Whatever the occasion, romance and drama are guaranteed!

We’ll be featuring one book each month from May to August 1998, bringing you terrific stories from some of your favorite authors. And, to make this miniseries extra special, The Big Event! will also appear in the Harlequin Presents^® series.

We kick off this month with Rebecca Winters’s wonderful romance Baby in a Million. Look out next month for Beresford’s Bride by Margaret Way.

Happy Reading!

P.S. Follow the series into our Presents line in September with Kathryn Ross’s Bride for a Year.

Baby In A Million
Rebecca Winters

www.millsandboon.co.uk

CHAPTER ONE

WHEN the phone rang, Ashley McKnight got up clumsily from the kitchen table. She’d been folding clothes which had just come out of the dryer and hurried to answer it, afraid it might waken Mrs. Bromwell who had finally fallen asleep, hopefully until morning.

Though Ashley turned off the elderly woman’s phone every night, the second extension in the kitchen lay on the other side of the wall of the comfortable apartment. Any noise past ten o‘clock could disturb her because she suffered from crippling arthritis and the medicine didn’t always blot out the pain. But she was such a dear soul, she hardly ever complained.

The only people who would phone her this late would be Mrs. Bromwell’s family to see how their mother was doing, and how Ashley was faring. They had a replacement for Ashley, realizing that if she went into early labor, she’d have to leave their mother on a moment’s notice.

But her doctor expected her to go full term, which meant she had four more weeks until the baby was due—four weeks to earn a little more money. Besides needing to outfit a layette, she had attorney fees to pay. She’d signed the papers. Now it was Cord’s turn to sign so that their divorce would be final right away.

Out of habit she lifted a hand to smooth the hair from her ear, still forgetting that she’d had the long, thick, molasses-colored mane cut off last month. Her new short, stylish wedge-cut felt cool and would be much easier to manage with the approach of the baby and the hot summer coming on.

“Hello?” she said quietly.

“Ashley—”

Her sudden intake of breath robbed her of speech. She hadn’t heard that deep voice in eight months, hadn’t seen her husband in all that time.

Since she’d sworn her attorney to secrecy, the only way Cord could have found out where she was living and working was through Greg Ferris, Cord’s best friend, the owner of an exclusive sporting goods company in Salt Lake where she’d done a lot of the accounting until the time she’d left her husband.

She’d thought Greg was her best friend, too! He’d promised not to tell Cord where she lived, or that she was pregnant. That kind of news she intended to keep from her husband until after the baby was born and she had settled elsewhere.

After several years of trying to conceive, they’d gone in for tests and had found out Cord had a problem which made it almost impossible for them to have children.

When she’d left his house for good, it would never have occurred to her to think she was pregnant. Not only because of the medical reasons, but because the last, disastrous six months of their hurtful marriage had been spent in separate bedrooms.

From the first moment Ashley had been introduced to Sheila, Cord’s stepmother, the other woman had made subtle remarks out of Cord’s hearing which insinuated that she and Cord had enjoyed a romantic relationship before her marriage to his father—that they still desired each other.

Confused and appalled by the revelation, Ashley had tried to put the whole thing out of her mind. For the most part she had succeeded.

She and Cord couldn’t travel down from the Teton Mountains of Wyoming to Salt Lake very often. As a park ranger, he didn’t take that much time off from his work to get away. But when he could arrange it—mostly so they could visit Greg and his wife in Salt Lake—they only stopped off to see Cord’s father and stepmother for short periods of time, whether it be at the office or at the house.

Somehow Sheila always managed to say something in private to Ashley which alluded to Sheila’s past relationship with Cord. But it wasn’t until the death of Cord’s father that Sheila grew bolder and played on Ashley’s doubts about Cord’s interest in his stepmother.

As time went on, and Ashley’s marriage to Cord began to disintegrate because of insurmountable problems, the doubts grew until Ashley feared that Sheila was telling the truth.

Only once, the night before Ashley had moved out of the house, had Cord come to her, trying to persuade her to believe in him, to stay with him, telling her that Sheila meant less than nothing to him, that it was Ashley he loved.

Like a fool she’d succumbed to that moment because it had been such a long time since they’d been together, and she was still so desperately in love with him.

When morning dawned and she found herself alone in the bed, she went to his room in search of him, wanting with all her heart to believe that he’d meant what he’d said.

Oh, she found him all right. Sheila was there, of course. Ashley’s worst fears had been realized.

After a night of such incredible passion, the pain of his betrayal with his father’s widow had torn her heart to pieces. In agony, Ashley had fled from him with her bags, never dreaming he’d made her pregnant.

If he knew she was carrying his child, he might delay the divorce, escalating attorney costs. He’d insist on taking care of her. He’d be relentless. It was something she wouldn’t be able to tolerate, not when it was excruciatingly painful to be around him.

Just hearing his voice again set her heart thudding with sickening force. Well into the final stages, the pregnancy made her short-winded anyway. But to know that the man she’d loved to the exclusion of all else—despite everything she knew he’d done—was on the other end of the line, left her feeling faint and dry-mouthed.

“Hello, Cord.”

Good heavens. She’d attempted to infuse a businesslike quality in her tone, but her voice betrayed a pathetic nervousness.

“It’s nice to know you remember me,” came the silky rejoinder.

Remember you? She tried to swallow her pain. Though separation had brought physical closure to the insoluble problems of their six-year marriage, part of her had never let him go. Even if she weren’t pregnant with his child, she knew it would be impossible to get over him.

How many times had she relived the fantasy that one day the phone would ring, that it would be Cord calling her with proof that there’d never been an affair with Sheila, that it had all been a mistake... That he still loved her, Ashley, and wanted her back.

But this was no fantasy phone call. His sarcasm crushed her. Eight months of separation hadn’t changed anything. One bitter remark from him and they were back in battle mode, as if they’d never been apart.

All they managed to do was hurt each other.

Her hand tightened on the receiver. “If you’re not calling me to let me know you’ve signed the divorce papers, then I don’t know why you bothered.”

She hadn’t meant to sound so curt, but it was her only defense against the old emotions swamping her. Though he hadn’t asked for a divorce, she knew he’d wanted one so he and his father’s predatory widow—the woman who was now a voting member on the board of the McKnight Company—could be together.

To accommodate him, Ashley had filed. That was the pain she lived with day and night.

“I’m fine. Thanks for asking,” he mocked with bitter irony.

She couldn’t take much more. “I—Is there a point to this conversation? I’m very busy and it’s late.”

By now her voice held a distinct tremor. No doubt he’d heard it. She couldn’t bear for him to know how much this phone call had shaken her.

“Actually, there is.”

“If you read the papers my attorney sent your attorney, this couldn’t possibly be about money. I never wanted yours, and I’m making an adequate living.”

The quiet on the other end of the phone let her know she’d said the one thing guaranteed to anger Cord. It had infuriated him that she didn’t want alimony. She heard his sharp intake of breath. “This has nothing to do with money.”

Ashley bit her lip. Was he about to tell her he knew she was pregnant?

If Greg hadn’t confided that information to Cord, then she couldn’t imagine what this was all about unless he’d heard she was hard-pressed for money.

Only because she’d been given room and board to be a companion and do light housekeeping for Mrs. Bromwell, did she have a decent place to stay. The family of the feeble eighty-year-old woman who never left the house paid Ashley a small salary which she was hoarding for the time when she had to find another place to live and work after the baby was born.

Soon she would move into the vacant tiny one room basement apartment around the corner to get things ready for the baby.

Though it was the last thing she wanted to do, she’d probably have to sell her diamond ring to help pay for the delivery. The proceeds from the sale, plus the little money she’d saved would keep her afloat until the baby had come and she could look for another caretaking position that allowed an infant.

“I’ve a favor to ask,” came his deep-toned, vibrant voice over the wires.

Favor?

Her delicately arched brows drew together in a frown. After trampling all over her heart until he’d ground it to pieces, he wanted something more from her?

“So if I don’t grant it, you won’t sign the papers? Is that it?”

“One has nothing to do with the other. I’m waiting to hear from my attorney.”

How did he maintain such perfect control when she was on the verge of hysteria?

“I think I’m the wrong woman to ask,” she bit out at last. Her whole body was trembling. “What could you possibly want from me now?”

The question was out before she realized how angry she sounded. And how vulnerable. Damn, damn, damn.

“You’re the one who ended things by moving out on me—” his voice grated “—but that’s all past history. What I’m asking for is a little of your time.”

His calm reply enflamed her.

“Ask Sheila.”

There was another deadly quiet. “Aside from the fact that she has nothing to do with my personal life, you’re the only person who can help me. I’m calling from City Creek Hospital,” he added quietly.

As a dozen ghastly scenarios flashed through her mind, she suddenly felt sick to the pit of her stomach. “What’s wrong?” She almost strangled on the words.

“It’s not fatal,” he answered in a dry tone, obviously reading her mind with his usual accuracy. His explanation released the tight band around her chest, allowing her to breathe again. “But I’d rather discuss it with you in person.”

“No!” she cried out in fright. Since he was still in the dark about her pregnancy, she didn’t want him to find out about it yet.

Rising to her feet in a panic she said, “If this isn’t a life-and-death situation, then there’s no reason why we can’t talk on th—”

“As I was about to say,” he broke in civilly before she’d finished, “you have every right to refuse me.”

Cord had a way of baiting her which not only pushed every button, but managed to make her feel sorry for him so she ended up battling a large dose of guilt for something she hadn’t even done. Flushed because of the late stage of her pregnancy, their conversation had raised her temperature another couple of degrees.

“To be honest, I’m surprised you haven’t already hung up on me.”

She held her forehead in her head. He would never beg. It wasn’t his way. So why had he called? What was really going on with him?

“Cord—I fail to see—”

“The point?” he interrupted once more. “I suppose I should have expected that response from you. Rest assured I won’t bother you again.”

Beneath his wintry delivery, there was a bleakness in his response which haunted her long after the line had gone dead...

When Ashley went to bed a half hour later, she tossed and turned all night. The pain in her lower back, coupled with the activity in her womb would have made her restless anyway, but Cord’s phone call had disturbed her so much, she knew she wouldn’t sleep until she knew the real reason why he’d contacted her.

They were getting divorced. Their marriage was over. Soon he and Sheila could do whatever they wanted without interference. It was nothing to do with Ashley, not anymore.

But he had phoned with a specific purpose in mind. Maybe he’d been diagnosed with something terminal, but not immediate.

No matter what had happened to break them up, the thought of him no longer existing on the planet brought pure terror to her heart.

The next morning, after she’d prepared Mrs. Bromwell’s breakfast, Ashley left her listening to a book on tape. With a small grocery list in hand she took the car to the store, then drove to Greg’s office located on the east bench, ten miles from the apartment. If anyone knew the truth, he did.

“Hi, Sally,” she said to one of the clerks on her way back to Greg’s office where she used to work. Now that spring had come to Utah, the store was packed with people already dreaming about summer campouts, ready to take advantage of the sales on new tents and lanterns.

Seconds later she gave a little rap on the door to his suite, their private signal.

Greg looked up with a broad smile and leaped out of his chair. “My, my how you’ve blossomed since I last saw you. You look beautiful.” He gave her an affectionate hug before telling her to sit down opposite his desk.

Happily married to Bonnie, and the proud father of two adorable children, Greg had been her rock and confidant when things had started to go wrong in her marriage to Cord.

She didn’t want to believe that he would have betrayed the trust she’d placed in him. If he’d gone against her pleas not to tell Cord anything, then she needed to know about it right now.

If he’d kept his promise, she needed to know that, too, so she wouldn’t be angry at him for something of which he was ignorant.

“What brings you here unless it’s to get your old job back? Much as I like Elly, she’s never been able to fill your shoes. She doesn’t understand the business the way you do. Everyone around here still misses you like crazy.”

“Thanks, Greg. That’s nice to hear.”

“I’ll tell you what. If you’d reconsider working for me again, I’ll buy you a reclining chair, and we can put a cot in back room when you need to lie down.” He kept it up with that winning smile. It warmed her aching heart.

“Greg—you’re wonderful, and I treasure those words, but you know why I could never come back here to work.”

His expression sobered and he leaned forward in his swivel chair. “Cord doesn’t come in the store anymore if that’s what you’re worried about. If I want to talk to him, I have to do the calling. Even then, he’s not himself. The last three times I’ve asked him to go spring skiing with me, he’s turned me down. Frankly, I’m worried about him.”

The fact that Cord had called her from the hospital made what Greg said that much more alarming.

Evidently their impending divorce had caused a breach in Greg’s relationship with Cord, something Ashley wouldn’t have imagined happening. They’d been friends for years and loved each other like brothers. The two couples had been on dozens of weekend vacations together in the mountains.

If he’d closed up on Greg, then she had to assume Cord’s problems had to do with Sheila. When the divorce was final, Ashley didn’t suppose he could contemplate marrying his father’s second wife without alienating a lot of people, but it would be Greg’s opinion that mattered most.

Since Greg had done everything in his power to help them fight for their marriage, she could only assume Cord was staying away from his closest friend to avoid talking about the past or being made to feel guilty.

She took a shuddering breath. “Did you by any chance give him my phone number?”

Greg’s eyes narrowed. “Did he phone you?”

“Yes. From City Creek Hospital. Last night.”

“Thank God!”

Ashley was taken back by such heartfelt emotion. “Then you told him where he could reach me?” she asked incredulously.

“Yesterday morning,” he said with a nod. “I had to, Ashley. Cord is in serious trouble.”

A spurt of adrenaline made her feel dizzy. “He said it wasn’t fatal.”

“He was lying!” he fired back. “I’m convinced you’re his only lifeline. Have you seen him?”

“No,” she said on a ragged breath. “I’m afraid our conversation degenerated rather quickly. He insisted on seeing me in person. I told him no and he hung up.” Her voice trailed.

She heard an unintelligible epithet come out of him. He sounded so much like Cord just then, it stunned her.

“Did you tell him I’m pregnant?”

“No. He has no idea he’s about to become a father, nor does he know where you live, or how you’re earning a living. Since you refuse to go to him, I guess that’s it.”

For the first time since she’d known Greg, he was making her feel guilty. “Do you know what’s wrong with him?”

He grimaced and it aged his appearance. “I have a gut feeling, but it’s not my place to say.” His amber eyes stared directly into hers. “You really have cut him completely out of your life, haven’t you?”

“Greg—” she defended, “if Bonnie had ever done to you what Cord and Sheila—”

“Ashley—” he broke in not unkindly, “I didn’t say that to hurt you. I suppose I was hoping time might have softened the wounds, but apparently I was wrong. I love you and Cord, and can see that both of you are in horrendous pain. It’s hard to sit back and do nothing, but that’s exactly what I’ve done all this time up until yesterday when I went to see him. That’s when I felt I had to intervene.”

Ashley started to feel physically ill and couldn’t talk for a minute.

“I’m sorry you’ve lost confidence in me, Ashley, but I won’t apologize for wanting to help save him. One thing I can promise you, he’ll never try phoning you again. Seeing how bitter you still are, it took more courage on his part than I would have had to reach out to you one last time. To be completely honest, I’m shocked he actually had the fortitude to make contact.”

He was sounding an awfully lot like Cord.

“Am I such a horrible person?” she finally asked in a dull voice, dying a thousands deaths inside.

“You know better than to ask a question like that. I’m not judging you, Ashley. I’m not in your shoes and couldn’t possibly presume to feel what you’re feeling. All I know is, two wonderful people who seemed so perfect for each other are now living drastically altered lives and I’m helpless to do anything about it.”

Ashley couldn’t take any more. “Greg—I didn’t mean to place you in this terrible position. I don’t blame you for what you’ve done.” Her voice trembled. “In fact I love you for caring so much. I don’t want to be a bitter woman. There’s nothing uglier or more self-destructive.” She lifted her head and eyed him levelly. “D-do you know his room number at the hospital?”

“He’s not in there now.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you didn’t come, he checked himself out and went home.”

“What?” With difficulty, she got up from the chair.

“But that doesn’t make sense.”

“I guess it does to him.”

She bit her lip. “I—I’ll phone him as soon as I get home.”

A somber expression darkened his features as he rose to his feet and walked her to the door. “Please, Ashley,” he whispered against her forehead where he gave her a kiss. “Don’t do anything unless you mean it.”

Don’t do anything unless you mean it?

Those words went ‘round and ’round in her head all the way back to the apartment.

As soon as she’d put away groceries and prepared Mrs. Bromwell’s lunch, she left her propped up with pillows listening to the radio, then shut the door and reached for the phone. But fear of becoming vulnerable again prevented her from actually punching in the numbers.

Another hour went by while she debated what to do, all the while growing more and more frantic. Finally, when she couldn’t stand it any longer, she picked up the receiver and phoned Cord’s extension at the office. Most of the time Sheila answered it for him.

Prepared to hear the satisfied sound in her husky voice, Ashley was taken aback when a terse, “Yes—” came over the wire to meet her ear. He had to be in a vile mood.

“Cord?”

For once the deafening quiet coming from his end told her she’d caught him off guard.

“Ashley? Dear God—it is you.”

The raw emotion in his voice revealed that she still had the power to affect him in some small degree. Summoning her courage she said, “I went to see Greg today. He said you’d left the hospital. Why?”

“Does it matter?” he asked grimly. “Last night you said you didn’t want to hear anything I had to say.”

She was afraid it would be like this. “Cord—do you want me to go on, or shall we just hang up?”

“No. Don’t do that! I’ve been in a foul mood and didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

If she didn’t know better, she would say he was nervous, which was odd because Cord wasn’t the nervous type. Anything but. At least she could say that about the Cord she thought she knew. Right now she didn’t know anything anymore.

“If you need to be in the hospital, then I don’t understand why you went back home. What’s wrong with you?”

“It’s my worry, Ashley. I’ll deal with it.”

She frowned. Something was missing in Cord, some elemental spark which had always been there before. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but the fact that he didn’t seem like himself bothered her terribly. Especially when he was going to be a father soon.

“I’ve made a decision, Cord. Please check yourself back in and I’ll come over.”

“Because of problems at the office, I couldn’t go in before Monday. But in any case, it’s asking too much of you.”

Greg had intimated Cord was deeply depressed. She was starting to realize what he’d meant.

“Not according to Greg,” she interjected. “He seems to believe you’re in real trouble.”

“He’s exaggerating.”

“I don’t think so. Let me know when you’re back in City Creek Hospital and I’ll be there.”

“No, thanks. Your sacrifice isn’t required, certainly not this close to the divorce. I should never have called you. I’ll work on my problem in my own way.”

Ashley felt a stabbing pain in her heart. He sounded like he was giving up. She couldn’t let this go, no matter the situation with Sheila.

“I—I’m afraid it’s not just your problem any more.”

Another long silence ensued. “What in the hell do you mean by that?”

At least she’d roused him out of his morose state for a moment. “All will be explained when we see each other Monday morning. I’ll be there early.”

Without giving him a chance to respond, she quietly put the receiver back on the hook. Only now was it hitting her what she’d done.

Because she had agreed to meet him at the hospital, he would find out she was practically ready to deliver their child.

Not only would he be hurt and angry that she hadn’t told him, he’d be in shock. According to the tests, their pregnancy had to have made medical history.

She had a premonition that once he found out, everything would grow more complicated and the divorce would be prolonged. But she’d taken the risk and couldn’t go back on her word now. Not if something was really wrong with Cord, and she firmly believed there was.

Without wasting another moment, she called the Bromwell family to arrange for someone else to come in to watch after their mother.

On Saturday, when Mrs. Bromwell’s oldest daughter came over to the apartment with the new person hired, Ashley went shopping for some new maternity clothes. She couldn’t spend much money, but she needed a few decent outfits to wear to the hospital. In the end, she bought several pairs of tailored cotton pants and artist’s smock tops in a flowered print, plus a couple of dresses.

At five after six Monday morning, Ashley stepped through the doors of the hospital and walked over to the main desk. “I’m Mrs. McKnight. Has my husband, Cord McKnight, checked in yet?”

The receptionist typed in something on the keyboard and scanned the screen. “Yes. He’s here. Room 521-C. Take the east elevators to the fifth floor, then turn right and report to the nursing station. They’ll direct you from there.”

“Thank you,” she murmured with a sigh of relief. All weekend she’d worried that Cord wouldn’t show up after all.

With trepidation and a heart that was hammering out of control, Ashley headed for her destination. By the time she entered the elevator with her suitcase and sewing bag, she felt jittery and uncertain.

In the last eight months she’d become a different person physically. Though more slender than ever in body and limb, she was pregnant enough to look like she could have her baby anytime now.

Many women with their first pregnancy didn’t show as much as she did, but that was probably because she was five feet four and there was no room for her baby to grow but out. No wonder Greg had commented on how much she’d blossomed when she’d visited him on Friday.

As she made her way down the hall, she wondered if Cord would even recognize her, especially with her short hair. Friends and acquaintances who’d known her when it had been long said they liked it both ways. But they thought the pixie style showed off the smooth oval of her face and brought out her slightly almond-shaped eyes which were a mixture of blue and green. Cord had always remarked on how they shimmered between her dark lashes whenever she was in the throes of deep emotion.

She’d debated over wearing her wedding rings, but at the last minute decided she’d better keep them on. She and Cord were still married in the eyes of the law, and she had an idea Cord wouldn’t like it if she didn’t show up with them. Better not upset him any more than necessary. Her appearance would be shocking enough and she needed to make the most of it.

After changing her mind several times, she finally chose to wear the new Indian madras style in a shimmery turquoise shot with gold threads. The filmy dress with sleeves to the elbow, fell straight from the shoulders to the gold embroidered hem. Gold earrings and neutral leather sandals with a low wedge for walking comfort completed her outfit.

The last thing she wanted to do was embarrass Cord whose tall, rugged good looks turned female heads wherever he went. Possessing a physically powerful, hard-muscled physique with dark hair and eyes as dark as blue as cobalt, the attention he drew was a phenomenon Ashley had been forced to accept early in their relationship or jealousy would have torn her apart.

The only reason she could handle it was because he was oblivious to the stir that always surrounded him. The opposite of a vain man, he never thought of himself. Until Sheila, he’d never given Ashley any reason to think another woman filled his eyes or his thoughts.

Because from day one he’d made Ashley believe that she was his whole world, it was like a ghastly, sickening nightmare when she saw what was happening between him and his own stepmother.

Stop it, Ashley. The past no longer matters. You’re here for Cord’s welfare. Put everything else out of your mind or you’ll go mad...

Taking several deep breaths to calm down, she approached the nursing station. “Hello—Could you tell me where 521-C is?”

“Go down the first hall you see on your right and pass through the double doors. You can’t miss it.”

Ashley muttered her thanks, picked up the suitcase and sewing bag which seemed to have grown heavier, and started off. As she rounded the corner, she saw a tall, dark-haired man coming through the doors halfway down the hall. Even from this distance he looked instantly familiar.

Cord.

All the air seemed to leave her trembling body. She could tell it was her husband by the way he carried himself, those long swift strides which were headed in her direction.

She hadn’t had any sleep for the last two nights planning what she’d say to him when they first met again after all these months. But she didn’t need to worry because he swept right past her, intent on reaching the main hallway.

Had she changed so much?

Staggered that he didn’t recognize her, she turned around to go after him, then froze in place because he suddenly swung on his heel and stared back at her in total disbelief.