‘You too,’ Reen said. Her throat was thick. She got into her rental car and tossed Rose’s apartment key into the cup holder. She pulled out of the spot, toward the exit. Checking her rearview mirror, she spotted Rose going back inside The Cottage. To do what? Stare at Mom?
Reen shook her head as a chill rolled down her spine. Rose was a glutton for punishment.
The clock read after five-thirty. She needed a place to hide. Like hell was she going back to Rose’s apartment until she had to. Being in The Burrow at all was a reminder of her past. She’d delay the inevitable for as long as possible.
CHAPTER THREE
Ever since Reen had turned legal age, in all the places she went to, she always checked out the bar scene. When people lost their inhibitions, even just a little bit, she got to the meat of a town. Reen could find out more in one night in a bar than from any tour guide. Unless a tour guide frequented a local bar, then she’d hit gold.
She wasn’t looking for information, but a place to hide. Somewhere she knew Rose wouldn’t find her. There weren’t a lot of places to get a beer in The Burrow. Both The Siren restaurant and Burrow’s Brews offered what the legal-aged townies needed. But Reen wasn’t going anywhere near The Siren. Even though she’d left town, she hadn’t been immune to the draw of social media. She’d checked into the guy she’d left in her wake several times during her absence.
Brody Moore’s family owned The Siren. From what Rose told her, Brody’s older sister, Missy, owned it now while Brody still worked there. She wasn’t about to run into her high school boyfriend on the first day she arrived in town.
Brody had been on Reen’s mind a lot since Rose called her. He was a townie through and through, and she had a feeling she’d run into him eventually. She hadn’t looked deep enough into his profiles to see if he was married or had any kids, but from the rotating pictures of him and other girls on his Instagram, she had a feeling he was still testing the waters of dating.
Her only other choice for drinks was Burrow’s Brews. She knew the location but had never stepped inside before. From what she knew, it was a dingy place for the sleazeballs in town. Tucked into a row of houses, no tourist would know about it unless they crashed into one of the drunks stumbling out of the building in the wee hours of the morning.
At least that was what Dad had always said. Maybe he was trying to keep his girls from checking the place out. For most of her youth, Reen had only had eyes for Brody, so she’d always ended up at the family-friendly Siren instead, where he had worked busing tables.
Reen parked further down the street. As she reached the sidewalk, she tucked her hair around her ears, glancing around. This part of town didn’t get much foot traffic other than those who lived in the houses and apartments surrounding the bar. She knew, with her shorter hair, some might not recognize her right away, but it was only a matter of time before someone spotted her. Then, the town rumor mill would begin, and she wouldn’t be able to go anywhere unnoticed.
The wooden sign above the door creaked as she approached. It was as if someone was either welcoming or warning her. She pushed through the door. A blast of warm air burst at her from inside. On one end of the room, wooden barstools were lined up along the counter. The four men clumped at the end of the bar stared at the television tucked in the corner above the rows of liquor. One of them noticed her and then the rest followed. Three of them were overweight, sitting close together, with one thinner one squished in between. The one closest to her moved his mop of hair from his face and narrowed his eyes several times before turning back to his drink.
Two appeared to be in their forties. Reen recognized them but couldn’t put a name to their faces. She’d spent so much time stuffing this place into the depths of her memory she’d forgotten a lot of the smaller details. At least that was a shining light of positivity.
The soccer game on the television blasted, filling the room as if someone expected this place to get busier soon. She glanced at the rest of the room, with tables and chairs scattered around the space as if the last people to leave had done so in a hurry. A crooked dart board was pegged to the back wall.
‘Over here,’ the guy sitting on the end said, patting the stool next to him.
‘I like this one,’ she said, taking an empty chair on the opposite side. His friend laughed and punched him in the arm.
Reen allowed her hair to fall across her face, blocking out the men. She eyed the small bowl of pretzels and nuts and wondered how long it had been there. The men returned to their game, yet she sensed they weren’t going to leave her alone forever.
She glared at the counter, careful not to make eye contact with the guys. Where was the bartender?
The guys had drinks, but she hadn’t seen anyone else in the room.
She pulled her phone from her bag and checked through the messages. There was another one from Jeremy, and she wished he’d leave her alone. How had he survived before she started working there?
Even though Rose had already told her the address, there was a text, reminding her of it. Reen closed the app, before placing her phone facedown on the bar.
Reen didn’t want to remind herself about Mom. When she was out of this place, she always thought of Mom as the younger version that she’d left behind, frozen in time as the woman who shut down and abandoned her daughters when they needed her most. The familiar swirling ache in her gut returned. The men cheered about someone making a goal, and the sound snapped her back to the present.
A blond guy strode behind the bar, and it took Reen a second to recognize him. When she did, the sounds in the room sharpened. Her breathing was loud in her ears.
Brody’s hair was much shorter than she remembered. He’d buzzed it close to his head, making his blue eyes pop even more. In the years since she’d seen him last, he’d lost the childlike roundness of his face, and the sharp lines of his jaw and cheekbones were more pronounced. When his eyes met hers, she froze. Her heart raced, and she didn’t realize until the sharp pain bit at her palm that her fists were clenched so tight her nails dug into the skin. She tried as hard as she could to keep a passive expression. Freaking out at seeing her high school boyfriend, the guy she’d abandoned, wasn’t going to make it any easier.
‘What can I get—?’ Brody’s words cut off. His head cocked to the side, and his eyes danced over her face. ‘Reen?’
She forced a shaky smile. ‘Hey, Brody.’ A surge of warmth coursed through her. ‘It’s good to see you.’
‘Wow, um. You look different,’ Brody said. ‘Good, different.’
‘Thanks. I think?’
He shook his head and laughed, a sound from her past. She smiled.
‘I didn’t expect…’ He shook his head. ‘What can I get you?’ He opened his hands in front of him.
She glanced at the beer taps. The draft options were unfamiliar to her. ‘What do you suggest?’
He gave her several choices, and she picked the lager from one of the newer breweries in the area. It was just like The Burrow to support other local businesses. Her hometown was so tightly knit and stuck in its ways. She wasn’t sure it would ever change. It stifled her, even years later.
Brody slid a glass in front of her and pressed his hands against the bar. For a moment, she thought he was going to reach over and hug her, but he kept his distance. He was much closer than before, close enough that Reen noted the several-day-old stubble on his cheeks. When she’d known him, his skin had been smooth.
‘You in town to visit Rose?’
‘Mom,’ she said. ‘Rose said she wasn’t doing so good.’
He sighed. ‘Sorry to hear that.’ He rubbed the back of his neck.
She bit the inside of her cheek to hide her smile. His nervous tic gave him away.
‘She seemed okay when I visited today,’ Reen said, sipping from her glass. She predicted an awkward silence between them and filled it quickly. ‘You meet Rose’s new boyfriend?’
‘Shane? Of course. Patrick is retiring soon. You remember him?’
Reen snorted. Patrick McCreary, chief of police, was one person in town she’d never forget. He’d been a staple of her childhood, but not in a good way. If there was one person she didn’t want to run into, it was him.
‘Oh yeah,’ she said. ‘Chief McCreary doesn’t come here, does he?’
‘Not usually. But some of the others might come by after leaving their posts.’
As long as he stays away. She took another sip.
‘Speaking of leaving,’ Brody said, and Reen choked on her beer.
He stood up straight, crossing his arms. ‘I mean, it was going to come up sometime. Did you expect me to forget?’
Reen held up a finger, wiping her hand across her lips. ‘First of all, I had no idea you worked here. I avoided The Siren for that reason.’
‘Good to know,’ he said. His tone held a hint of an edge. ‘And secondly?’
She hadn’t planned to go that far, but since he asked. ‘I’m not here for a reunion. I came to see Mom, and then I’m out of here.’
Brody shook his head. ‘You were going to come back and not say anything to me?’ He scoffed. ‘I’m not sure why I expected you to change at all, Reen.’
She tried to take a minute to collect her thoughts by taking another sip of her beer, but her throat closed. She should have left the second she saw Brody. But, over the years, she’d thought about him more than she would ever admit.
‘Listen—’ The door opened, and a shriek of giggles came from the entrance to the bar.
Every single person in the room turned to the four girls, dressed for the club, not a local dive. Their dresses were too short, and their makeup overdone for an afternoon in The Burrow.
‘This is fer locals,’ one of the older men at the end of the bar slurred. His nose was red, and sweat poured out of his face, enough that it started to soak into the collar of his shirt.
Two of the others locked on the girls and Reen couldn’t help rolling her eyes.
‘Want me to cut you off, Jimmy?’ Brody asked with a smirk. He tossed a peanut from the bowl in front of Reen toward the guy.
Jimmy shook his head quick enough that a few droplets of sweat dripped onto the counter. The others around him didn’t seem to notice.
Reen wanted to turn away. She knew she should have. But one brunette wavy-haired girl broke off from her friends and strode over to Brody. Her friends grabbed a seat in the corner of the room, their eyes glued to their phones.
Brody met the girl at the other side of the bar. She tucked herself against him and leaned her head back, smiling up at him.
Gritting her teeth, Reen turned away from Brody and the girl, but her ears remained perked up; for some reason she wanted to hear their conversation. Somewhere, deep inside of her, she had to know for sure if Brody was serious about this girl.
‘We’ll have rosé,’ the girl said to him.
‘It’s on me,’ said one of the guys. Reen could almost hear his wink.
She giggled, and Reen had the urge to gag. The beer rumbled around her stomach. More than anything, she wanted to flee. But she wasn’t about to show Brody how much he affected her. Sure, he was still upset she’d left. She didn’t blame him. But leaving again would only prove to him what he already thought. She fought against her instincts and settled into her chair. Letting go of a breath, she turned in her seat, lifted her empty glass and wiggled it in front of her. If anything, to separate the lovebirds at the end of the bar.
Brody glanced at her and gave her a curt nod before kissing the girl on the cheek. He turned his eyes to Reen, locking into them. She didn’t budge. He wouldn’t know how much he affected her. Seeing him brought back memories, but they both had their own lives now.
She wasn’t sure how long he’d last with some tourist girl, but it wasn’t her problem anymore.
CHAPTER FOUR
A rough fabric raked against Reen’s cheeks as she pried her eyelids apart. They stuck together again. Shit. She hadn’t taken her mascara off the night before. She hoped they would pull apart on their own. The room was entirely too bright, and she squeezed her eyes closed, just as the night before crashed over her.
Her futile attempt to roll over was a mistake. Her stomach tightened, and she curled into a ball. More rough fabric against her skin pricked at every inch of her body. A loud yawn filled her ears, and she jolted, the movement sending another wave of nausea through her stomach, clawing its way up her throat. She’d had way too much to drink last night.
She wanted to know who’d yawned. Sitting up as best she could, she surveyed the rest of the room. Even though she had Rose’s key in her bag, she knew without a doubt that she wasn’t in Rose’s apartment.
A flash of the group of guys surrounding her at the Brews came back full force. They’d bought her drink after drink. How could she have been so stupid? She wasn’t an amateur, but she had been last night.
As she drew in several breaths to calm her pounding heart, the details of the room sharpened. The sheets were navy, and the plaid comforter sat in a heap at the edge of the bed. Across the way was a small kitchen; only a refrigerator, sink, stove, and a compact countertop hugged the corner of the room. Not far from the edge of the bed was a brown leather sofa and a flat-screen television mounted on the wall.
A studio apartment, belonging to one of the guys from the bar. She sifted through the dark memories in her head, but she came up empty. How did she get there and with whom? Through the window, Reen recognized the street. She was in an apartment above the bar. The familiar view outside Burrow’s Brews mocked her. At least her commute hadn’t been long. Maybe that was a selling point for her when she had been an idiotic drunken mess.
She darted to the side of the bed and slowly – painfully – swung her legs until they dangled off the edge. Her shirt clung to her body, but her crumpled jeans were on the floor next to the bed. Her hand fell to her stomach, and she winced, wondering if she’d drunkenly agreed to a one-night stand. The thought brought another wave of sickness through her, and she bounded to the other side the room to the door across the way. She prayed it was a bathroom.
The knob moved further away from her reaching hand. Before she could blink, she smacked into a hard and naked chest. A towel covered his face as he rubbed it against his hair.
‘Whoa,’ the guy said as Reen shoved him out of the way. She only had eyes for the toilet. She fell to the floor, her knees smacking against the cool tile. There wasn’t much in her stomach, but it squeezed the life out of her.
A cold cloth appeared on her neck, and she mumbled a thank you to the stranger. When she finished, she glanced over her shoulder. He was gone. Unwilling to soil this guy’s apartment any more than she already had, she wiped her hand across her mouth and went to the sink to wash up. Even though her insides were empty the room still moved on its own.
‘Here,’ Brody said.
Reen glanced at him through the mirror and then whipped around.
No, no, no. How did she end up at Brody’s place? She tried to remember anything from the night before, but she came up blank. Her stomach lurched again, but with a painful swallow, she managed to keep everything down.
He stood there, in a towel, holding a glass of water. ‘Drink this. I tried to get some water in you last night, but you didn’t want any. You smacked my hand and spilled it everywhere.’ He nodded his head toward a pile of sheets on top of a wicker hamper.
She took the glass from him and stared into it, unable to meet his eyes. Relief and embarrassment flooded her. ‘What happened?’
‘You wouldn’t tell me where you were staying.’ He smirked as if recalling a particularly amusing moment. ‘So, I brought you here.’
She forced the water down her throat. ‘We didn’t…?’
His eyebrows knitted. ‘Sleep together?’
She winced again. The light coming into the room overwhelmed her more than before. Or maybe it was her straining not to look at his chest. The last time she’d seen it, there hadn’t been much definition. Unlike now. There weren’t any gyms nearby, at least as far as she knew. Those muscles were all homemade from some activity around town. ‘So, we didn’t…?’
Brody smiled. A hint of amusement danced in his eyes. ‘I slept on the couch.’
A breath whooshed out of her.
‘Come on,’ he said. ‘I’m going to make you some toast and get some aspirin into you. It will help.’
She followed him like a lost puppy across the space. This time, when she looked around, she saw each inch of the apartment as Brody’s instead of a stranger’s. She should have known he’d come to her rescue. The room was simplistic without many decorations or adornments. The wall behind the bed was exposed brick, giving the room a little rustic appeal. She never imagined a place like this above the bar.
Brody had always been a clean and neat kind of guy, but this place was almost sterile. Maybe he’d just moved in?
‘How long have you lived here?’ she asked, unable to help herself.
He pulled a toaster from inside one of the lower cabinets of the kitchen. ‘Three years, give or take.’
So, not new. ‘It’s nice.’
‘I’m not here much. Between shifts at The Siren and downstairs, I only sleep here.’
‘Why so many jobs?’ It couldn’t be that expensive to stay in The Burrow, especially with a shoebox apartment.
He hesitated. ‘I like to keep busy.’
He placed two slices of bread in the toaster and then grabbed a container of butter from the refrigerator.
‘I’m not sure I can handle dairy this morning,’ Reen said.
‘It’s not for you. I was an adult last night.’
He’d meant it as a joke, but Reen couldn’t help the flush in her cheeks. She had acted like someone who couldn’t handle herself. Coming home brought all the memories back to Reen from when she was a teen. Instead of keeping her guard up, she’d been careless and ended up in a situation far from the one she’d imagined.
‘I’m going to finish getting dressed,’ he said, and slipped past her into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
She released a breath and hung her head in her hands. While away, anytime Brody had crept into her thoughts, she had shut them out. Now, she was inside his apartment while he changed behind the door.
Her bag hung from her chair, and she took a moment to check her phone. Surprisingly, there weren’t any texts from Rose. But she’d stayed with Shane the night before. Reen wondered when Rose would figure out that she hadn’t stayed at the apartment. The conversation played out in her head, adding to the ache in her temples. She needed to get to Rose’s place as soon as possible so that she would be none the wiser.
The toast popped up, and Reen jumped.
Brody strode out of the bathroom dressed in jeans and a blue and white striped T-shirt. With clothes on, he was easier to look at. Though, her stomach still fluttered.
He handed her the dry toast and buttered his. The sound of the knife over the hard bread raked against her brain.
‘You all right?’ Brody asked.
‘Not so much. I haven’t done that in a long time. Why did you let me?’
He laughed, and she winced again.
‘I tried to cut you off earlier, but you got a little mean.’
The night had been a haze. ‘I did?’
‘I mean, I’ve seen worse.’
‘Sorry,’ she muttered.
‘Don’t worry about it. I know seeing your mom probably wasn’t easy. You get a pass from me. If you want it.’
Even though the details of last night were fuzzy, it had more to do with Brody than Mom. If it were possible, she felt even sicker because of it. Her anger with Mom had melted increasingly throughout the years. Seeing her yesterday didn’t bring it up again. Now, she was a sick old woman stuck in a bed. Reen would be a monster to be upset with Mom in her current state.
It wasn’t just that Brody had moved on with his life, but everyone had. Mom had gotten older, Brody and Rose seemed to have it all together, while Reen was flailing in her life. Jumping from place to place whenever she got the itch. Would it be so much to ask that her hometown remained in the bubble she’d placed around it?
Reality crashed over her, and she dropped her toast onto the plate. ‘I should go.’
‘Let me drive you,’ he said.
She lifted her eyes to his. ‘I thought you had to get to work.’
‘I do,’ he said. ‘Do you want to walk?’
Not in the least. ‘I have a car here. A rental.’
‘You feel okay to drive?’ he asked.
‘Yes,’ she croaked. Spending more time with Brody would only add to her hangover.
Brody eyed her, and the silence stretched on between them as he finished his breakfast. They walked together out of the apartment, down the narrow hallway and staircase to the street.
While they weren’t talking about last night, there were plenty of things she wanted to say, but she couldn’t force her mouth to form the words. She supposed it was better that way.
Reen grabbed on to all her years of hiding her feelings, and by the time she and Brody reached her car, she already had a smile on her face, even though she was slowly dying on the inside. ‘Thanks for watching out for me. I promise I’ll never do it again.’
‘Never say never,’ he said, shoving his hands into his pockets.
She played with her keys, but even outside, the sound rang in her ears, forcing her to stop. ‘I’m not sticking around very long—’
‘It was good to see you. Even for a little while.’
She cleared her throat. ‘You too.’
They stood there, staring at each other, neither of them knowing what to do. Reen wasn’t about to force Brody into an awkward hug, even though it would have been nice. All she could do was think of his girlfriend, and that was enough to propel her legs toward the car. She’d come back home to say a final goodbye, not to leave a trail of destruction in her wake. It was for the best. Though, she couldn’t help watching Brody retreat down the sidewalk through her rearview mirror.
#
When Reen arrived at Rose’s place, an older woman opened the front door of the house.
‘Can I help you?’ she asked. She was a petite woman with permed hair. The sun reflected off her glasses and shone brightly into Reen’s eyes.
‘I’m Rose’s sister,’ Reen said, shielding her face. ‘I’m staying with her. I have a key.’
The older woman adjusted her thick glasses up the bridge of her nose. Her eyes narrowed as she took a better look. ‘Reen. Yes. I remember you.’
Reen shielded her eyes. Familiarity filled her, but she couldn’t place the woman.
‘Mrs. Collins,’ she said, placing a hand against her chest. ‘I was the school secretary.’
Reen didn’t think it was possible to feel any smaller. The older woman hadn’t aged a day since Reen graduated. ‘Mrs. Collins.’
She winked at Reen. ‘It’s good to see you again, Ms. Barros.’
Reen remembered her well. As much as she remembered teachers sending her to the principal’s office often. ‘You too.’
She gave Mrs. Collins a quick wave and headed up the wooden stairs attached to the side of the house.
Between the heat from the morning and the sun, Reen practically fell inside the apartment. She opened her mouth, feeling the stale, nasty aftertaste of beer. She walked through the space, heading straight for the bathroom. As she brushed her teeth, Reen made her way around the apartment, thinking that it was perfect for Rose. Everything in each room called out as something her sister would have. Even the romance novels on the side table by her bed. Mom loved reading those, and in typical Rose fashion, she tagged along with whatever Mom did.
Rose was content to live her life in this place. She was okay with being boring and doing the same things day after day. Brody was the same way – thought he hadn’t always been. When they were together, they would talk about all the places they would travel to in the future. Between his multiple jobs in town, she knew his roots had dug deeper into the sand, anchoring his life to The Burrow.
Even though Dad’s death had rocked her entire world, Reen was happy she’d left when she did. Otherwise, she might have ended up pregnant with Brody’s kid and unable to escape the same life her parents had lived.
Once she finished brushing her teeth, she tossed the toothbrush into her bag and dropped it on the table. It was time to go. Her humiliation might follow her from town, but she didn’t intend on coming back to see the outcome.
The effects of the aspirin and hydration invigorated her, and she went to the refrigerator to see what Rose had to eat.
A picture caught her eye, held against the surface of the freezer by a magnet. She swallowed. One summer, their neighbors snapped a photo of their family on the beach. Reen was ten at the time. Mom and Dad stood behind her and Rose, Mom’s hands on Reen’s shoulders, squeezing them and making sure she didn’t stick her tongue out. Reen couldn’t help a ghost of a smile crossing her lips. The sight of her family, together and happy, brought back so many memories for her. Years of them flooded her mind. She didn’t dare touch the photograph, reminding her of a different time in her life. It seemed like eons ago that she and her family were together on the beach.
Reen glanced around the rest of the room and peered into the small living space. There weren’t a lot of photographs, but most of them were of their family. Mom and Dad’s wedding photo sat on the coffee table. Scattered across the room on other surfaces were the few portraits they’d taken together at the mall around the holidays when Mom used to be obsessed with making memories with their family. That had come full circle, as she’d ended any photographic proof of their family after Dad passed. It was as if Mom didn’t care about anything after that. As if he were the string keeping their family together.
Reen’s stomach churned, and she wasn’t hungry anymore.
The ghosts of her past clung to this place, even though it wasn’t where she’d grown up. It was as if Rose had transplanted the memories to this confined space.
She had to get out.