Abby Stafford sighed as she flipped through the mail. In the kitchen, dinner waited to be cooked, and in the living room Robbie watched TV impatiently. She could hear his favorite show blaring as he sang along in a high-pitched, slightly off-key voice.

If it weren’t for the snack she’d given him, he’d be trailing her around the apartment like a puppy dog looking for his dinner. Robbie was only four and a half, but she affectionately referred to him as “the bottomless pit.” Just like his daddy, she thought. Still, he was the center of her world.

A knock on the door interrupted her as she flipped through the phone bill. It had to be Gail again. No matter how many times Abby had told her neighbor she wasn’t interested in a double blind date, the woman didn’t seem to get it.

She swung open the door, not bothering to lift her eyes from the printout. “I’ve told you before, Gail, I’m not going.”

“And I’m not Gail.”

The timbre of the voice was unmistakable, the slight drawl too familiar. Before she could even look up, the mail slipped from her hands, floating softly to the wood floor. Abby thought she was going to follow it, albeit with a much harder landing.

The past had caught up with her. The man she’d loved since she was sixteen had finally turned up on her doorstep.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” She hadn’t seen Nick Logan in five years, since his father’s funeral. Since the death of Robert Logan had destroyed their marriage plans. Destroyed their dreams of moving to Cheyenne and leaving behind Sydney Creek, the small farming town where they’d both been raised.

She let her eyes light on him. They feasted on Nick like a hungry cowboy at a campfire. From his dark hair to his booted feet, the man had only gotten better with age. His tall frame was filled out with muscles now, thanks no doubt to the ranch work, and his brown eyes had crinkles at the corners, probably from working out in the sun all day.

Nick, too, took his time assessing her as held his Stetson in his callused hand. “I’m visiting you,” he told her. But his voice wasn’t pleasant. It was harsh, hard like him. He was exhibiting none of the gentleness with which he’d treated her years ago.

“I—I didn’t know you were in town.” It was all she could get out.

“Yeah. When Julie wrote me a letter about all the help you’d given her, I thought I should come say thanks.”

It had been her pleasure to help Nick’s sister; they’d been friends years ago. “That’s very kind of you, but—”

“Don’t get me wrong, Abby. I don’t feel kind.” He took a small step toward her. “I’m damn mad!”

“Wh-why?”

“As if you don’t know.”

She knew, but she wasn’t going to admit anything unless she had to. So she lied. “No, I don’t. And if you’re going to be so rude, you can just go away for another five years!” She stepped back and grasped the edge of the door, ready to slam it in his face, when Robbie’s voice startled her.

“Mommy, is dinner ready yet?” he asked as he came into the hallway.

Abby saw Nick’s hard, dark eyes transfer from her to the boy. Instantly they softened. “Hi, there. I don’t think I’ve met you. What’s your name?” Nick asked, squatting down on his haunches as she’d seen him do a hundred times around a campfire.

“My name’s Robbie. Who are you?”

Abby felt the world shrink to the three-by-six hallway. Her body tensed and she had to strain to get the words past the lump in her throat. “Nick, don’t. Please.”

His gaze flickered over her, and though she saw no emotion or empathy there, he replied, “I’m a friend of your mommy’s. My name’s Nick.” He stepped forward and stuck his big hand out to the little boy. “Glad to meet you.”

Robbie shook his hand. “Are you a cowboy?” he asked, his eyes big.

Abby didn’t think her son knew much about cowboys. She’d avoided the subject, but just the other day his preschool teacher had read them a story about a dog that helped a cowboy round up a herd. Robbie hadn’t talked about anything else since.

“Yeah,” Nick replied, “I’m a cowboy. Do you like cowboys?”

He nodded. “Do you ride a horse?”

“Sure do. Want to come ride with me?”

Robbie looked up at his mother. “Can I, Mommy?”

Despite the eager look on her son’s face, Abby quickly said, “No! You have to go to school tomorrow, honey.” She tempered her tone and urged him to go wash up for dinner.

Nick obviously didn’t take rejection well. He called the boy back. “Before you go, Robbie, I wanted to ask you something. You look mighty big. How old are you?”

That was the one question Abby didn’t want the boy to answer.

“I’ll be five in—How many months, Mommy?”

Abby didn’t respond. Instead she ushered him down the hall. When she turned back, alone, she prayed Nick was gone, gone back to the oblivion he’d lived in for almost five years. But the man was still there, his broad shoulders filling the corridor.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

There was no use denying it. Besides, she owed him an answer. “You told me to go have a life in the big city, remember?” She tried but failed to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

“I didn’t know you were pregnant!”

“I didn’t, either,” she yelled back.

Nick drew a deep breath and ran his hand through his thick, dark hair. “You could’ve called me, Abby. This is the twenty-first century. There’s all kinds of ways to contact a person.”

She stood up to him, pulling herself up to her full five-seven frame. “Why? So you could be overwhelmed even more? You already had your mom hanging on to your shirttail and five other Logan kids depending on you. Did you need another?”

“Dammit, Abby, he’s my son! Could I ever turn him away?”

“No, just his mother.” She averted her gaze, unable to look at him. Things had been so bad back then after Nick’s father had died. Responsibility and duty sat firmly on his shoulders, weighing him down, leaving him nothing to offer Abby, the woman he’d supposedly loved.

“Abby, I was trying to do what I thought was best for you.”

She turned back to him. “Oh, really? And who put you in charge of me?”

He looked perturbed. No one challenged Nick Logan. His word was usually followed to the letter of the law. But Abby didn’t back down. She held her ground and stared him down.

“You wanted to stay in Sydney Creek and clean house and cook for the whole brood, after you’d just graduated college?”

“I wanted to be given a choice.”

Nick shook his head. “I couldn’t let you do that, Abby. You’d worked too hard to get your degree and you had a job waiting for you in Cheyenne.”

“So did you.”

“But I had responsibilities. Don’t you understand that I had to do what I did?”

She nodded. “Just like I did.”

“By keeping my son from me for almost five years?” The anger in his voice was barely in check, in deference to the boy just down the hall. But his eyes beaded and the lines at the corners became more pronounced.

Abby didn’t want this to turn into a screaming match. She stepped back from him and drew a deep breath. “I think you should leave, Nick.”

“Like hell I will!” he ground out in a hushed voice. “You’ve had Robbie for the last five years, now I get him for the next five.” He looked around him. “The city is no place to raise a child.”

Abby felt as if he’d reached inside and ripped out her heart. Breathing became difficult and the room started to spin. “No! No, you can’t take him! He’s my child. He doesn’t even know you.”

“And whose fault is that?” Nick’s tone was menacing now.

Abby wouldn’t cede him that point. She continued to shake her head. “I’ve taken care of him every day of his life. You can’t just walk in here and wrench him away from me! You’ve got to give me time to—”

Nick gave her nothing. He leaned toward her, his face mere inches away. “I’m going back to Sydney Creek in the morning and I’m taking my son with me. Whether you come with us is up to you.”

With that, he turned on his boot heels and stomped out her apartment as abruptly as he’d entered, leaving devastation in his wake.

Sitting in a fast food place, Nick hefted a half-pound juicy burger up to his mouth and weighed his options.

He could get a motel room and get a good night’s sleep before the ride home tomorrow. But how could he be sure Abby wouldn’t pack the essentials and slip away with his son in the middle of the night?

If it were him and someone was going to take his child away, he’d run. Still, he was too angry at Abby to consider her feelings.

No, on second thought, he really had no choices. He knew what he had to do.

He wrapped up his burger, grabbed his coffee and headed for his truck. He didn’t stop till he was parked in front of Abby’s apartment building. This was where he’d spend the night—right in front of the only exit. He wasn’t giving Abby any chances to escape with his only child.

He’d never expected to be a part-time dad. Growing up, he’d remembered there’d been kids in school who had to deal with that situation and it tore them up inside. He wouldn’t accept that for his son.

He’d expected to share his life with Abby, and their children. Back in Sydney Creek, they’d grown up as neighbors and the best of friends—until he’d kissed her on a dare when she was sixteen.

After that, they were a couple. Inseparable.

He’d followed her around faithfully and they’d even gone to the same college. He’d loved her more each day. Holding off on making love to Abby was the most difficult thing he’d had to do then, but he’d promised his father he’d be responsible.

And he was—until the night they’d graduated, their diplomas in hand and a great life in front of them.

Two days later his father had died. With him, Nick and Abby’s dreams.

His mother needed help with the Logan ranch and Nick’s five younger siblings. Nick had no choice but to stay. But Abby did. As much as she’d imagined a life beyond Sydney Creek, Nick had to let her go. He remembered the day she left as if it was yesterday, not five years ago. It had tied for the worst day of his life.

Despite her attempt to make him feel guilty, he still felt it had been the right thing to do.

Except he hadn’t known she was pregnant.

Through the window of the truck he stared up at the window of Abby’s apartment. He could only imagine now the fears she must be facing. Was she sleeping? Holding Robbie in her arms? Crying her eyes out?

He had to stop feeling sorry for her. She should’ve told him he was a father. She should’ve come back to the ranch and lived with him. They could’ve raised their child together. That thought stopped him cold. The last five years would’ve been so much better if he’d shared them with Abby.

In his mind’s eye he saw her when she’d opened the door to him earlier, looking as beautiful as he’d remembered. Her light brown hair had grown longer, falling in waves down to her shoulders. Still slender, she had the curves of a woman now. The urge to touch her, to feel her against him, assailed him, taking all his willpower to withstand. He’d had to tuck his hands into the back pockets of his jeans so she wouldn’t notice the shaking. But he had to resist her. He’d come for his son. Truth be told, he wanted Abby, too…but she’d kept his son from him.

It suddenly struck him that she called the boy Robbie. His father’s name had been Robert Logan. His eyes teared up at the thought. Years ago they’d talked about their future children and toyed with names. He hadn’t really thought of naming a boy after his father until after his sudden death. He’d never had a chance to voice that to Abby.

But she’d done it for him.

Okay, so he owed her.

But that didn’t mean she could keep his kid from him.

Nothing could keep his son away.

“Mommy, I’m sleepy!” Robbie complained early the next morning as Abby tried to juggle two suitcases, her car keys, a bag and her son’s tiny hand.

“I know, sweetie, but we’re going, um, to visit a—a friend of Mommy’s.” She hated lying to him. “When we get there, I’ll let you watch TV as much as you want today.” And she could wish her life had gone differently.

She and Nick had had such great plans. Living and working in Cheyenne, marrying. She’d have had someone to lean on, to share troubles with. They could’ve raised Robbie together, taken him to Sydney Creek to visit, taught him to ride, about life on the ranch. Instead it had only been her, raising Robbie as a city kid.

The boy looked up at her, sleep in his eyes and a frown on his face. “But, Mommy, you said I always have to go to school. ‘Cept on Sundays and Saturday. Is it Saturday?”

“No,” she replied distractedly. This was no time for Robbie to chatter. It was already six o’clock and she had to get out before Nick came back. She shuddered to think what would happen if he found them leaving.

But she couldn’t lose her son.

She’d slept maybe an hour last night, too busy to sleep, too scared not to. After packing up their things and arranging her finances, she’d wanted some sleep for the long drive she’d anticipated this morning. There was no “friend” to visit. She planned to put Robbie in the car then put as much distance as possible between them and Nick.

But Robbie proved harder to wake than she’d anticipated. He still lagged behind.

“Did we eat breakfast, Mommy? ’Cause I’m hungry.”

She nearly dragged him, finally walking out the front door of the building now. “I know a great place for breakfast, sweetie. You’ll like it. You can have pancakes.”

“Can I have some, too?” a gravelly voice asked from behind her.

She didn’t need to turn around. Her heart stopped and her shoulders slumped. She’d finally gotten her son outside and now their escape was thwarted.

After a moment she looked over her shoulder and there he was, leaning against the brick wall beside the front door. He struck a casual pose but she knew he felt nothing but irate.

“Hello, Nick. I—I can explain.”

“I bet you can. But let me.” He looked down at the boy. “Hey, Robbie, did your mom tell you that you’re going to my ranch? There’s lots of cows and horses.”

Robbie’s brown eyes, so like his father’s, danced between the two adults. “Really? Mommy, that’s great! Are there dogs there, too?”

“You bet there are. Come on, buddy, I’ll show you.”

“Mommy, we’ll have so much fun. Do you like horses, too, Mommy?”

Before Abby could speak, Nick interjected, “Your mommy isn’t coming.”

Robbie stopped dancing around, the excitement draining out of him. “Why?” he asked with a frown.

Nick squatted down to his level. “Well, she has a job, you know. It’s real important to her, so she doesn’t want to miss it.”

Robbie looked up at her. “Mommy?”

Abby could no longer stand there and watch this drama. She broke through the paralysis that fear had brought on and went immediately to her knees in front of her son, her world. She looked into his watery eyes. “Nick’s wrong, honey. Nothing is more important than you. Remember what I always told you? Where you go, I go.”

“Yeah, Mommy. I remember. I’m glad ’cause I want to see the horses and dogs, but not without you.” He slung his arm around Abby’s neck, smiling now.

Abby tried to hide the tears that swamped her eyes, but failed.

“So you’re coming with us?” Nick asked. “What about your job?”

She looked up at him and shrugged. “I’ll wait and see how things work out.” He might get tired of having guests after a few days. Or his mother might. Besides, she wouldn’t admit that her job wasn’t what she’d hoped for. Having graduated with a business degree, she’d hired on as office manager in a prestigious law firm, but left after two years over a personality conflict between her and one of the partners. Her new job, for a smaller company, wasn’t challenging enough, but she’d decided to stick it out because it gave her time to spend with Robbie.

Nick gave her an odd look that made her feel uncomfortable, as if he were assessing her response. Then he shrugged and hefted her suitcases. “Come on, then. Us men are hungry, right, Robbie?” he asked, grinning at the boy.

“Yeah. Us men, Mommy!”

Abby hesitated, then grabbed the bag she’d dropped, along with her car keys. “I’ll take my car and follow you. And I think Robbie should ride with me. His car seat is in my back seat.”

Nick leaned closer to her and said in a low voice Robbie couldn’t hear, “You’re not planning on running away from me, are you?”

She stiffened and gave him an indignant glare. “I wouldn’t endanger my child with a high-speed chase.”

“Fine, then. I’ll just hold your suitcases hostage until we get there.”

Her suitcases? He’d already held her heart hostage for five long years.

“I know, Mr. Johnson, and I apologize, but the emergency wasn’t planned. I have to go back home today.”

Nick worked on his pancakes, listening to Abby as she spoke on her cell phone a couple feet away.

“No, sir, I can’t postpone it. I have—” There was a pause before she said, “Yes, sir. I see.” She flipped the phone shut without saying goodbye.

Nick looked at her when she returned to the table. “Mr. Johnson didn’t take kindly to your emergency?”

She picked up her coffee mug. “He fired me. Are you happy?”

“Doesn’t matter to me. Coming was your choice.”

She pressed her lips together before she took another sip, then turned to her son. “Finished, Robbie? Let’s go clean up in the rest room.”

Nick stood up and offered his hand to the boy. “I’ll take him to the men’s room. He’s too big to go to the ladies’ room with you.”

“Is it okay, Mommy?”

From her expression he expected her to protest. Instead she surprised him. “Yes, honey, it’s okay.” She knew Nick would never hurt him.

Robbie took Nick’s hand. “What’s it like in your room, Nick?”

“My room?”

“You know, the boys’ room. I never been in one before.”

Nick smiled. “Well, let’s let you go see for yourself.”

They walked toward the back of the restaurant, Nick holding his hand. “This is almost like having a daddy, isn’t it?” Robbie asked, catching Nick by surprise.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so.”

“I asked Mommy for a daddy, but she said she couldn’t order one out of a catalog,” the little boy said with a giggle.

“Didn’t your mommy ever talk to you about your daddy?”

“No, I don’t have one. Mommy always says, ‘It’s just you and me, Robbie.’” He giggled again.

And again Nick felt the anger build inside him. Abby could’ve told the boy something about—Well, maybe not. At least she hadn’t said that Nick hadn’t wanted his son.

When they emerged from the rest room, Abby was anxiously watching for her child. She immediately checked his face. “Did you wash the syrup off?”

“Yeah. Nick helped me. Mommy, it’s different from your bathroom. They have uri-uri—”

As he stumbled over the word, Abby steered him out. “We’ll talk about that in the car, sweetie.”

Nick couldn’t help but grin as he watched the boy walk away. He wanted to tell Robbie that he was his daddy, but he didn’t want to upset the kid.

His kid.

For the first time he thought about what was going to happen when they reached the Logan ranch. His mother didn’t handle surprises well. And Patricia?

Damn, things weren’t going to be as easy as he’d hoped.

Robbie fell asleep after only a few minutes on the road.

Good. Abby needed to think. She’d spent so much time guarding her speech and screwing up her courage to face Nick that she was tired. Now she had to deal with what she would be facing in a few hours.

Not what, necessarily. Who.

Mrs. Logan.

All during the time that Abby dated Nick, she’d never felt welcome in his family home. His mother, in particular, had made it clear that Abby wasn’t good enough for her son.

Abby understood that. She’d been raised on a small farm in the ranching community of Sydney Creek. Though her parents had worked hard, they’d never had much. During high school Abby had worked at the town café so she could buy her own clothes. On the contrary, the Logans, owners of one of the largest ranches in the area, lived a life of privilege and comfort. Nick and his family had things Abby didn’t, like the new truck Nick had gotten when he’d turned sixteen.

Abby hadn’t owned a car until she left for Cheyenne. It had been secondhand. And she still drove it. That wasn’t likely to change anytime soon, she figured, now that she’d lost her job.

Actually Abby had been longing to go back to Sydney Creek, where she called home. But the thought of having to face Nick always kept her in Cheyenne.

Now that she was returning, her first priority was finding a job. Not an easy task in Sydney Creek, where only a few businesses thrived. For Abby, though, employment was essential; not only did she have Robbie, but she also helped support her mother, who had moved to Florida.

When her dad had died only a year after Abby finished college, her mother had moved to Cheyenne to live with her and Robbie. Susan Stafford had taken care of Robbie for his first two years, but when a friend of hers was moving to the Florida sunshine, Abby had to let her go.

Robbie went into day care, a clean, pleasant center only a few blocks from her job. He’d thrived there, made friends, some of whom went up to preschool with him.

Would she be able to find a pre-K in Sydney Creek? For that matter, would Nick allow Robbie to live with her in town? Or did he expect the boy to live with him at the ranch? Would he want her there, too?

Amidst the barrage of questions that assailed her, one stood out.

Did he still have feelings for her?

Abby had been shocked by how much she’d responded just to the sight of him. Seeing him at her doorstep yesterday brought back each and every memory of their time together—especially their graduation night. After years of denial and restraint, they were finally able to make love, to share the passion they’d held in check.

It had been five years ago, but seeing Nick made it feel like yesterday. She’d wanted to touch him so badly. But his attention had been all on Robbie. Not that she could blame him. After all, Robbie was the center of her world, too. She knew she was prejudiced, but he truly was such a good boy. He behaved himself, and he tried to take care of her whenever she got down and cried. That hadn’t happened often, but when it did, he would come pat her shoulder and ask her what was wrong.

Never in this world would she let her son down. Nor would she abandon him, no matter what Nick promised.

She’d find a way to make it work. She had to, for Robbie’s sake.

When they reached the ranch, Abby sat in the car, drawing a deep breath. The rambling single-story ranch house with its wraparound porch looked the same, as did the mountains in the background. She felt the same trepidation as she did the last time she’d seen it.

But she couldn’t sit in the car for the rest of her life, so she let out the breath she was holding and woke her son.

“Robbie? We’re here, sweetie. Wake up.”

The little boy struggled awake. “Where are we, Mommy?”

“We’re at Nick’s ranch.”

Instantly alert, Robbie strained in his car seat to look out the window. “Can you see horses and dogs?”

“Well, I hear some dogs—” She stopped when Nick suddenly jerked her door open.

He loomed over her, his hands on the roof of her small car. “Aren’t you going to get out?” Without awaiting her reply, he leaned in and asked Robbie, “Ready, champ?”

“Yeah!” He clicked open his car seat and exited the car.

As Nick started to move away, Abby reached out and touched his hand.

“Nick, what are we going to—to say to your mother?” She didn’t have to explain; Nick knew what she meant.

“We won’t have to say anything,” Nick whispered fiercely. “She remembers what I looked like at this age. That’s why I didn’t have to question you about his age. I knew I was his daddy as soon as I saw him.”

“But your mom might say something—”

“Don’t you think it’s about time someone did?”

Abby’s heart seemed to stop. “I don’t want Robbie upset!”

Nick left her standing by the car door. “It’s too late to worry about that.” Then he walked off with Robbie’s hand in his.

She scrambled to follow him. Regardless of what Nick said, she didn’t want Robbie to learn the truth without her there to help him understand.

Despite Robbie’s wails about seeing the cows, Nick insisted they go into the house first.

Abby knew Julie was in Cheyenne, and she’d guess Brad was out of college by now. If he’d come back home, there’d be at least four of Nick’s siblings here to contend with.

She followed Nick and Robbie into the shadowy coolness of the house straight to the large kitchen where the family spent most of its time. Kate Logan was standing at the cabinet preparing something. “Who is it?” she called over her shoulder, obviously having heard them come in.

“It’s me, Mom,” Nick said.

She spun around, eager to greet her oldest son. But she came to a complete halt when she saw Abby with him. Her smile disappeared. “I didn’t know you were bringing Abby to visit, Nick.”

“I brought Abby and her son to visit.”

Kate noticed the little boy for the first time. Her eyes widened in shock and she immediately looked at Nick. “Is he—”

Abby held her breath, waiting for her to blurt out the secret she’d kept all these years.

But all Nick said was, “This is Robbie, Abby’s little boy.”

After looking at Abby for a moment without speaking, Kate knelt down to Robbie. “Hello, Robbie. I’m pleased to meet you. I’m glad you’ve come for a—a visit.”

“Thank you,” Robbie replied, displaying all the manners Abby had ever taught him. “Nick says he has horses and dogs.”

“Yes, he does. In fact, one of the dogs had puppies a couple of weeks ago. Would you like to see them?’

“Real puppies? Not play puppies?”

“Real puppies. I’ll get Nick’s brother to take you.”

She stood and said, “Nick, call Brad.”

Nick went to find his brother.

“Mommy, do you want to see the puppies, too?” Robbie asked. She should have known he’d be a bit nervous about a stranger taking him.

She smiled to let him know it was okay. “You go with Nick’s brother. I’ll come out later, sweetheart. I’m tired. I didn’t get a nap in the car like you.”

He leaned against her leg, his hand taking hers. In a whisper, he said, “But I don’t know Brad.”

Abby knelt and hugged her son. “I know, but I do. He’s a lot like Nick. He’ll never hurt you, either.”

The young man in question walked into the kitchen, a smile lighting up his handsome face.

“Hi, Abby. It’s good to see you.”

“You, too, Brad. This is my son, Robbie.”

“Hey, Robbie. I hear you want to see the puppies. I might even be persuaded to let you hold one. How about that?”

“Really?” Robbie asked with enthusiasm, immediately taking Brad’s hand.

“You two go ahead and I’ll have lunch ready when you get back,” Kate said.

After they left the house, Abby said, “So much for him not wanting to go without me.”

“Only because you told him Brad was someone you knew. I appreciate that, Abby,” Kate said, surprising Abby.

She only nodded, waiting for what would come next. She knew it wouldn’t take Kate long to get to the point.

True to form, she asked, “So, you had Nick’s child?”

“Yes.”

“Now what, Nick?” Kate asked her son.

“I told her she’d had Robbie for the first five years of his life so now I get him for the next five.”

Kate looked aghast at her son’s words. “No wonder Abby came with you!” She shook her head. “What about Patricia? Have you given thought to how she’ll react to this news?”

Abby looked from one to the other. “Who is Patricia?”

Nick took an indignant stance. “She doesn’t have anything to do with you!”

“Son,” was Kate’s only word. But it seemed to have an affect on Nick. He turned away and began pacing the room.

The realization dawned on Abby and she felt as if her heart lurched. She looked at Kate. “Don’t tell me she’s his wife.”

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The Cowboy's Secret Son

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The Cowboy’s Secret SonJudy Christenberry

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

The Cowboy’s Secret Son
Judy Christenberry