Debates
Going out for a walk in the park in the morning, Samantha did not expect to meet the king himself. Serpin, too, was strolling alone. Apparently, under the demon’s protection, he felt he didn’t need bodyguards. The beauty of the young king made Samantha’s breath catch again. She struggled to pull herself together. It was not enough to fall at his feet under the enthusiastic hooting of the Mind. By the way, the king’s pet wasn’t around for some reason. It was strange that the demon had gone away. He must have some unresolved business in hell, Samantha decided wryly.
The king greeted Samantha graciously. He looked at her with such loving eyes that the girl dared a minor blackmail.
«If you want to see me more often, chase away your clawed pet,» she asked coquettishly. «He scratches too much.»
«How can you chase him away?» Serpin was genuinely surprised. «He’s like a child. You have to take care of him.»
«And indulge his every whim?»
«Uh-huh!» Serpin was not ashamed of his dependence on his pet. «Could you love your favorite kitten or puppy?»
«That’s a different matter! The Mind is not a cat or a dog.»
«True, he’s my most trusted advisor.»
«But he’s not a person. He’s a kind of talking animal.»
«That’s true! Samantha, you’re so smart! We should see more of you. Maybe you could be my counselor. Too bad you don’t like the Mind. The two of you could help me run the government.»
«I could run the country better alone without the Mind,» Samantha lied, not sure of her own abilities, but she had to find a reason to get rid of her rival.
«He doesn’t think so,» Serpin smiled. «By the way, it will be hard for him to accept having a second person to advise me. He likes to be the king’s only advisor.»
«Should we put the Mind in an enclosure or give him to a zoo? I’ve heard there are some very good zoos in one of the neighboring countries.»
«But they keep ordinary animals there, and the Mind is a magical creature.»
«Then with his appearance in the cage, the local zoo could be renamed a bestiary.»
Samantha was ready to show maximum ingenuity, but Serpin did not approve of her idea.
«The Mind wouldn’t like it, and besides, I’m like without a head and hands without him. If it weren’t for his wise counsel, I’d be lost,» Serpin leaned conspiratorially toward Samantha and whispered. «In fact, he is the one who rules for me, because I’m failing to run the country. It was only because of the Mind’s activity that I managed to drive out of Ivilor the conspirators who wanted to remove the crown from me, and to defeat the warlike neighbors. One day, the Mind sank an entire enemy fleet that was coming to our shores in one fell swoop. I didn’t know how to summon defenses, but all he did was hiss a spell and the storm began. Did you know that the Mind is friends with sea spirits? Mermaids, sirens, and newts respect him, and his patroness in the past was the powerful sea sorceress Katarina of the sunken Aquilania. With his connections in the water and underground, the Mind can easily set off an earthquake or a storm. When the ministers disagreed with me, he would tap his claw on the table in the council chamber and an earthquake or volcanic eruption would begin. Anyway, it was only through the Mind that I gained the authority of the king. Without him, I can’t sit on the throne for a day, and in his company I have no worries. He will defeat an army of enemies with a single spell, and chase all traitors out of the country, and convince every ambassador of my royal wisdom, which I don’t really have, but thanks to the Mind everyone thinks I do. The Mind is a gift from heaven.»
«Or rather, he is a gift from hell,» Samantha said, grudgingly. It seemed that Serpin couldn’t keep his hands off the demon. How can a demon be a gift from heaven? He came out of the ground. Though if we follow the ancient history of the universe, all demons and devils fell from the heavens after the great heavenly war organized by the goddess Alais. Apparently, even the heavens are capable of giving black gifts. Samantha recalled passages from her father’s book: the heavens shattered, the beautiful fallen warriors of Alais turned into monsters. The Mind is the smallest of them all, but the most annoying.»
«Wait at the fountain for a moment,» Serpin asked and hurried off.
The girl sighed. If the king was leaving, he would never come back. He must be bored with her. But a walk in the royal park was a pleasure. There was a green maze of boxwoods and a large three-tiered fountain in front of the entrance. Samantha looked at the bronze figure of a cupid at the top of the fountain and did not notice the king returning.
Serpin decided to surprise her and presented Samantha with a fragrant bouquet of white roses. The girl almost gasped with delight, but in time she noticed that a familiar fairy was looking at her enviously from behind the trees. Of course, Rosafeira wanted to pluck all the petals from the bouquet of roses and eat them. How can one forget that garden fairies love to dine on flower petals? Samantha thought with a sigh that as soon as Serpin left, she would have to share his roses with the voracious fairy. But no such luck. The Mind appeared out of nowhere. He deftly jumped on the king’s shoulder, bent over and sneezed on the roses. The white petals immediately shriveled, blackened and crumbled to ashes.
«Ah!» Samantha was angry and offended, and the king’s favorite laughed snidely.
«They say white flowers are a symbol of death,» the Mind mocked.
«They aren’t!» Samantha arched her back, ready to fight back the demon. «It is a symbol of pure and sincere love.»
«Red roses symbolize love, silly!» The hoarse voice of the Mind began to cut the ear even of the king, so Serpin transferred his favorite to a branch of an orange tree, and himself moved to the fountain.
«Everyone knows that red roses symbolize passion!» Samantha objected, almost shouting. «Either you’re the only one in Ivilor who doesn’t know that, or you’re deliberately misleading me.»
«I never mock the fools at our court,» the Mind winked at Serpin graciously.
«Who did you call a fool?» Samantha instinctively searched for a weapon with which to attack the Mind. No poker or frying pan in the garden, of course, but perhaps the gardener had forgotten his shovel.
«There are so many beggars at court,» the Mind nodded expressively at Samantha. «Give them a bouquet of roses, treat them to delicacies from the royal kitchen, and then give them the royal crown. What do you want to bet that you, like the other pretty rogues, have decided to put your hand into the treasury of Ivilor.»
«You’re a slanderer!»
«And you’re a trickster!»
Serpin stood by the fountain and listened to the argument with a bored look. Samantha was blushing with shame, for the Mind had dishonored her in front of the king, but Serpin didn’t even seem to understand what the argument was about.
The king is really stupid, Samantha realized. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have let the demon boss him around. Even if the Mind really did help in ruling the country, instead of being paid for his advice, he took the whole state for himself. Even the king’s personal belongings were given to him for his use. One day Samantha looked into the king’s bedroom and saw Serpin sleeping on the couch like a beggar, while the Mind was sprawled on the king’s bed like a baron. The little pet could have slept on one pillow, but he had deliberately laid down in the middle of the bed to take up the whole bed. His insolence made Samantha furious. If she became queen of Ivilor, she would drive the little demon out of here in a heartbeat. But how does one become queen? Serpin is in no hurry to propose marriage to her.
The argument with the Mind turned into a big row and then a fight. One should have expected from the very beginning of the conversation with him that everything would end in another race, only this time not with a frying pan, but with a heavy gardener’s trowel, forgotten under the rose bushes.
While Serpin was flirting with the mermaid who had emerged from the fountain, the demon and Samantha were playing catch-up and hurling profanities at each other.
A demonic duel
Somehow, Samantha’s escape from the demon had led her to the armory. The hall, littered with weapons, was just right. There were axes, rapiers, and halberds. Now we had something to defend ourselves with. While Samantha was considering which weapon to choose, a heavy mace suddenly rose into the air by itself, as if it had been picked up by an invisible hero, and flew at the girl.
Samantha barely had time to dodge, and the mace smashed into the wall. The wall was dented and the plaster crumbled.
«How lucky I am!» Samantha rejoiced. «I’m sure Rosafeira’s mark saved me again!»
«You’re not happy yet.» The Mind was right there. His black tail flashed over the shelf of swords, then the demon himself leapt to the hilt, instructed by the rubies. At the sight of the gems that adorned the royal weapons, his eyes lit up greedily. It was as if he hadn’t been to the armory before and seen it all.
For a moment, the Mind even forgot about his victim, who was fidgeting nearby, wondering what to do. The halberd that had fallen to the floor caught Samantha’s eye first, but it was too heavy to lift, so she grabbed a dagger with a massive hilt and wanted to throw it at the demon. The Mind instantly dodged it.
«You want to have a duel over the king?» The demon’s eyes lit up gloatingly. «It’s the first time I’ve ever engaged in a sword fight with a girl instead of knights, but whatever. You asked for it.»
At first Samantha was taken aback. Dueling with the Mind over Serpin was a last resort, but what can you do if you can’t get the groom otherwise? The swords flew by themselves, the duel became magical. It was a duel of charms, not swords. Samantha had learned something from Romara, who kept petrified lovers in Ivilor’s apartments. Should she try to turn the demon into a statue as well?
Samantha remembered the hand motions Romara used to make when she turned another guy into a marble figurine, and tried to copy her movements. At first the Mind was dumbfounded, feeling the subtle currents of foreign magic, but then he chuckled.
«This trick won’t work on me, you cheeky girl! I am familiar with harem magic, because I have lived with sultans myself.»
«You’ve even fought off their private lives?» Samantha gasped.
«I am capable of anything!» The Mind took her words as a compliment and jumped joyfully on the mountain of swords. «I’m the most agile, witty, and cunning. Give me a round of applause.»
«If only you could bruise yourself to death on those swords, then I’ll applaud you!»
Samantha’s hopes were in vain. The imp deftly jumped over the points of the swords and raced down the hilt. The swords came out from under his claws and darted at Samantha as if they were alive. The girl barely had time to dodge. She grabbed a sword in each hand and tried to parry the blows of the hovering swords. She was even starting to get the hang of it.
«You’re a skillful swordswoman!» The Mind was truly amazed. «Where did you study?»
«It is nowhere! It’s just something I do on my own,» Samantha admitted honestly.
«Probably your ancestors in the hundredth generation were great knights, whose descendants have now withered and moved to live in the village. Where you’ll be returning soon, you can only fence with pigs and chickens.»
The Mind snickered and scoffed as best it could. Samantha became frantic and let her guard down. Soaring swords immediately surrounded her on all sides. The girl screamed exhaustedly. The arsenal keeper came running to her scream. The swords immediately changed direction and rushed at him. Unlike Samantha, the caretaker was not agile. The swords slaughtered him to the enthusiastic hooting of the demon. The scene was horrifying, but it gave Samantha time to escape the armory. Alas, the armory was not at all the place to find self-defense. Once you tangle with a demon, everything becomes upside down.
A tired Samantha hoped the demon would leave her alone. He’d already had one victim today, though not the one he wanted. His bloodlust should have been at least partially satisfied, but it wasn’t. The Mind jumped out of the armory and galloped after Samantha.
«And it won’t kill you! And not bewitch you! Or hypnotize you! It’s all the fault of the fairy mark! We should rip it off your shoulder. Then we’ll see if you’re still so invulnerable.»
The Mind extended its claws, intending to tear off a piece of skin, but it didn’t have time. Samantha had learned to run fast in the royal palace. There was no other way to survive here. She ran into the opened door of someone’s chambers and wanted to lock herself in. If it was a man’s quarters, the situation would be unambiguous and her reputation would be ruined. Her reputation would be ruined to save her life, but a locked door didn’t stop the demon. Deft claws broke through the door and turned the handle. A moment later, the Mind jumped into the chambers himself.
«Are you hiding? I found you!» Hehe sneered. «You are a coward! You can’t run away from a duel, or they’ll think you’re dishonored.»
«I’m not a boy! I can run away from the battlefield. A woman’s honor does not suffer from cowardice.»
«Is it really?» The Mind is puzzled. «But I met women warriors long ago. There were some who could win the war without my help. I could not approach such ladies with any tricks. You see, they’re strong without demons. Well, so I went with an offer of help to their defeated enemies, and those thanks to me rose from the mud with all their dead troops, and the war began again.»
«A cunning man like you should be kept in the thick of it! There’s a reason the inquisitors burn you alive!»
«They’re just jealous! I can bring my wards in my claws and victory over enemies, and glory and prosperity. And what can you do for Serpin?»
The Mind wanted to shame Samantha, but the girl didn’t raise an eyebrow. Not only is she useless, but she loves the king with all her heart.
«I can get an insolent demon out of the kingdom,» she said with aplomb.
«You try it!» The Mind grinned. «You’ll break all your nails, but you won’t make it.»
There was a poker handle sticking out of the fireplace. The footman must have forgotten it when he was cleaning the fireplace. Samantha grabbed it and lunged at the Mind. He dodged and jumped like a monkey, but it wasn’t easy to hit him. The Mind caught hold of the curtain and climbed up it, then waved his claws at Samantha.
«How dare you, girl! I am the king’s chief advisor!»
«You nimble little devil! You must be banished!»
«Try and drive me away, the king is on my side.»
And so it was. Samantha hissed with anger, but Serpin, who had arrived at the noise, did not interfere. Apparently the chambers she had entered belonged to him. The king grated uncertainly on the threshold as if he were a stranger.
«I will call the Inquisition to chase you away,» she threatened.
«Please be kind,» the Mind scoffed. «I ate the last inquisitor in Ivilor last week, but if you invite inquisitors from abroad, I’ll gladly accept them. I love fire-roasted meat,» Mind licked his lips, «I don’t know which tastes better, witches or inquisitors. I’ve tasted both after roasting them at the auto-da-fé. But I’ve yet to taste the insolent girl.
The Mind lunged at Samantha, but she dodged and tried to bring the poker down on him, but only hit his tail.
«You missed!» The demon rejoiced and showed her his bifurcated tongue.
«It’s all right, I’ll hit the target.»
«A crazy princess tried to hit me with a frying pan, but it didn’t work.»
«I’m not a princess, so I can do it. I’m smarter than that.»
«That princess attacked me out of jealousy. I see you’re jealous of me, too,» the Mind grinned slyly, «of the king! You know, I sleep with Serpin on the same pillow, eat off the same plate with him, and get mountains of gifts from him, and he hasn’t given you even a stunted bouquet of flowers yet.»
Samantha was furious, but she couldn’t hit the Mind. He hopped around the royal apartments as nimbly as a flea. It’s hard to get rid of fleas, she means demons. Samantha had once removed fleas from her favorite horse from her father’s stables. Who’d have thought this time it would be fleas in the king’s luxurious hair? In fact, one large flea has taken up residence on the king’s shoulder. A flea was a demon. Samantha squinted. How to get it? The Mind lodged itself in the canopy of the throne and showed her a split tongue.
«I’m going to get you out of here!» Samantha screamed helplessly as the Mind raced across the ceiling beams as if nothing had happened.
«Duchess Evangelina thought she’d get me out of here, too, and even arranged for the werewolves to harass me, but I survived her! I’m small but agile! I won’t let anyone hurt me!»
Samantha recalled with horror the bloody ghost of Evangeline, who sometimes made warning signs to her from the dark corners of the palace or from behind the branches of the garden trees. The dead duchess often appeared in the darkest parts of the park, and the park began to look like a graveyard because of her. Samantha wondered why Evangeline’s ghost did not roam the roads where she had been killed. The answer was obvious: the ghost had latched onto Samantha, sensing she was the demon’s next victim.
Samantha wasn’t going to be a victim.
«I’ll tell Serpin who you really are!» Samantha threatened the Mind. «He will find out that you’re not a sweet magical creature, but an evil demon who escaped from the furnace.»
The Mind didn’t even claw. Did the threat of exposure not frighten him at all? Samantha could ruin his reputation as a magical royal advisor and throw him off the top of Olympus. All he had to do was provide the king with solid proof that the Mind was a real and very harmful demon. He’s being treated like a spoiled fluffy cat. The King must finally be made aware of the truth. Maybe then he’ll feel fear and contempt for his pet instead of love and gratitude.»
«Serpin is a sweetheart!» The Mind looked down on the denouncer. «Even if you tell him I’m a demon and bring a crowd of witnesses, he won’t believe you. Even my documents with seals from hell, signed by Satan himself, Serpin can only read syllables, and by the time he’s finished, a century will have passed, and I’ll have found a new king.»
«What do you mean?» Samantha’s almost bursting with indignation. The imp would always get away with it, but he’d inadvertently given her suspicion. «What new king are you talking about?»
The Mind realized that he had said too much and returned to the old topic of the illiteracy of the current king of Serpin.
«I read all the decrees for him,» he complained, «my eyes are already hurting! And my paws are tired!
«You should go on vacation.»
«When I come back, the treasury’s gone. I’ve been working without a vacation for centuries. I’m used to it!»
«Then don’t complain about your health. Get used to the blisters!»
«You are a heartless woman!» The Mind released its claws.
Samantha slipped behind the screen.
Survival races
A second later, the screen was toppled and torn open by the demon’s claws. Samantha barely had time to jump out from under it and run out the door. Serpin hesitantly called her name. It was noticeable that he wanted to protect the girl from his pet, but hesitated. The Mind chased Samantha again.
«Why is he chasing me? He should have found a witch friend!» Samantha wailed as she ran.
Or maybe we could introduce him to a mysterious lady from the closed chambers of the castle? What if Romara could seduce him and turn him into a statue? Then a demon figurine would be added to her harem collection. At least there’d be some variety.
Samantha ran into the royal kitchen and looked for a place to hide. Not in the oven! The demon would be happy if she got inside and could be set on fire. Could she hide under the table? The kitchen was filled with unusual aromas. The meat dishes and stews on the king’s table looked suspiciously like human meat. So much for the fairies whispering that it was human. Three fairies hovered between the chandelier and the table, daintily eating tartlets and candy. They must have been Rosafeira’s friends. One of them resembled a daffodil fairy, another resembled a snail fairy. The third had obviously come from the seashore. Her dress and hairstyle were decorated with seashells, and her hair was the color of sea foam.
The Daffodil Fairy was the first to be concerned when she heard the clawing outside the door. She quickly finished her treats and commanded her friends:
«Now let’s get out of here before Ibrazymus catches us! Remember how nervous he is! He promised to tear my wings off if he ever saw me near the king again.»
All the fairies flew away. Samantha was alone again, but not for long. Before the devil did, Rosafeira flew into the kitchen. Apparently, she wanted some cakes, too. You can’t always just have flower petals.
«You’re just in time,» Samantha said. «Do you have any idea how to get rid of the demon that’s haunting me?»
«And how can you get rid of it,» Rosafeira shrugged theatrically, drowning in the foam of pink petals.
In a word, the fairy didn’t want to help. So, she would have to protect herself from the invasion. Samantha caught a glimpse of a familiar object in the corner between the stove and the cauldrons. It was a mousetrap! And there are a lot of them around here. For some reason they’ve been thrown in the corners, and there’s no cheese in any of them. Samantha began to gather them up urgently.
«What are you doing?» Rosafeira was surprised.
«I remember how we used to take the mice out at home.»
Samantha set mousetraps from the demon. One of them stood right by the door. We can only hope the demon steps on it first and not the cook. Samantha herself hid behind the stove as a precaution, and Rosafeira, realizing that she was on the battlefield, prepared to fly away.
«I thought fairies with their magic could fly to a war and cast spells on the warring parties,» Samantha shouted after her, «but fairies fly away from danger with their wings.»
«Times have changed,» Rosafeira smiled wryly. «The roses would sprout right into people’s bodies, killing the warriors, but now my powers wither like wilted flowers.»
«It would be nice if you could at least plant roses in the kitchen,» Samantha asked, but the fairy was already gone. She’ll have to do it without her. Samantha looked around for a frying pan. Suddenly there was a suspicious sound at the door, followed by a frantic shriek.
Click! So Mind had fallen for Samantha’s mousetrap. The girl triumphed for a moment. Alas, such a trifle could not keep the demon away for long.
«You are cunning! You are sneaky!» The Mind ripped off the tail of the mousetrap. «You are malicious! You shame all the women of Ivilor with your immoral behavior!»
«I’m not Estella or Serpin. You’re not a counselor to me, you’re a flea.»
«I’ll swat you like a flea with a frying pan!» The Mind raged, grabbed the cast-iron handle with its claws, and lunged at Samantha.
«It is time to run!» Samantha ran as fast as she could, and the three dragons who were feasting in the buffet picked up the treats with their claws and scattered ahead of her. They scrambled to hide in niches, to get under curtains, or to dive into cupboards.
Samantha’s legs were tangled in her skirts. She wished she hadn’t fallen! The endless enfilade of halls loomed ahead, and the demon’s cries could be heard behind her.
Samantha jumped over a sofa and came face to face with the curator of the royal library.
«What’s your hurry, young lady?» The curator grudgingly fixed his glasses on his nose and suddenly noticed the Mind rushing at him.
Samantha was glad she had found a protector. Behind the curator’s thick back one could hide from the demon. Alas, the curator was a nervous wreck. He fainted as soon as he saw the clawed black creature with the frying pan.
«It wasn’t even a murderer with an axe!» Samantha snorted annoyed. She’d never seen a grown man faint like a pussycat before.
She herself would not have fainted at the sight of a murderer with an axe, but would have tried to run away. And now she’s running away.
«I’ll kill you!» The Mind screamed behind her. Apparently, this time she had managed to completely piss him off. The demon’s hypocrisy and pride were blown away. He was chasing Samantha like a butcher chasing an overzealous goat.
«I wish he hadn’t caught up with me! Otherwise my meat will be on Serpin’s table tonight!» Samantha was out of breath. The meat that was usually served at the king’s table often resembled human meat. Had the Mind used up all his rivals like this? Why does he need the king’s attention? He’s already the chief counselor! Counselor and fiancée is no obstacle to each other! Though why would she think she could be the king’s bride? It was as if one of the dragons flew up to her ear and whispered it to her.
Suddenly, a dragon covered in soot crawled out of the furnace. Samantha hardly recognized him as Emerald. He looked with intelligent eyes at what was happening and suddenly put a claw in his mouth and whistled loudly.
Other dragons swooped in and distracted Emerald. From the garden, where they had been hanging around during the day, they quickly found their way to the kitchen. The Mind was alone, but the dragons, freed from their cage, numbered a whole flock. Naturally, they were winning. Apparently, the Mind had imprisoned them in the greenhouse by cunning rather than force. Samantha cheered as she saw that the odds were stacked against her pets.
«Guards!» shrieked the demon, forgetting that he had slaughtered all the local guards.
Samantha hit him with the frying pan and gasped. The heavy frying pan flattened the skinny black body. She thought she swatted the demon like a fly.
«Why are you crying?» Scoundrel scratched the back of his head with a claw.
Samantha didn’t immediately notice a tear in the corner of her eye.
«I mean, he was alive, and I killed him! It’s a shame!»
The dragons suddenly laughed with glee.
«It is a shame! You laugh at a funeral.»
«Demons are immortal, you fool!»
Samantha staggered as the black claws deftly ducked out from under the frying pan. The Mind came out as good as new and screamed at the top of its voice:
«They are murderers of the king’s counselor! They are traitors to the state! Get the executioner here!»
As soon as the demon put his black claws in his mouth and prepared to whistle, the dragons were frightened. Apparently, there were bad rumors about the local executioners. Samantha didn’t know what to do, but the group of dragons huddled together and unleashed a fireworks display of sparks and fire on the screaming demon. The Mind’s tail flared first, and then the demon’s entire black body turned into a blazing torch.