ARTEM: Whoa, Where did that come from?
OLGA: Wait Artem, that's not all. All those years I was telling to myself, – "We are not on the same level. He is up there and I am down here." We had different starting points and of course different possibilities, perspectives and the future in general. We did have something in common though – we were born in the same country at about the same time. From the time I realized the concept of slavery, I chose the life that minimizes the impact. I chose the life with the minimum dependency from others. I don't have friends who I depend on. I am not seeking the acquaintance with "important" people. That is how I live. I value my freedom and independence. What about you? It seems you have it all. What is the price Artem? I frequently ask myself when are we actually happy? Is it when we are understood? Do you want to be understood Artem?
ARTEM: No, I don't. There are even situations when I don't want to understand myself.
OLGA: So, what about the happiness?
ARTEM: I don't see it. Where is it – cloudless and selfless? Show it to me if you can or maybe you know how to find it.
OLGA: I don't know but I remember. I also know the way you assert yourself. That's why you have women and the quickly passing joy of your victories over them but not happiness. You are hooked. Your dependency does not permit you to be truly happy. It's your destiny. You can take a lot from life but don't ask god for happiness.
ARTEM: (He is on defensive) Why do you think I need it? You don't know what I am asking for. May be I am asking him for forgiveness and conciliation. May be I don't know what to ask for yet.
OLGA: (speaks much calmer). You didn't get it. I don't judge you. I am just thinking out loud. The happiness is as far from the trivial joy as it can be. The happiness is rather about the wait, the memories, the dreams and the suffering.
ARTEM: You are right. We can't change are nature, Olya, you are still the same keen truth-seeker.
OLGA: I'm sorry. I got carried away.
ARTEM: That's okay Olya. Ultimately, you are right. That's true we are slaves of our relationships. Friends, family, coworkers and other social boundaries do define the degree of the allowed freedom. I envy you.
OLGA: There is nothing to envy.
ARTEM: It's so good that we met. After so many years. I finally can explain my seventeen-year silence. Trust me, I had the most precious feelings for you. I was not a heartless cynic. I was in-love.
OLGA: What did happened then?
ARTEM: That time while I was enjoying life, my older brother – young general – was killed in Afghanistan. I told you how much we both loved our mom. She was the most intelligent and warm woman I have ever met. That time she was devastated. She told me, “Do whatever you can, find connections as high as you can reach but make sure that your future son will not go to a war. Start working on it now. Make it your mission – your number one priority." So many years passed but I still remember her eyes – her, full of impossible desperation, eyes.
OLGA: I'm sorry Artem. I did not want to because you pain.
ARTEM: I listened to my mom. My son is fifteen now. I am confident that I can sleep well He will be okay no matter what.
OLGA: I also have a daughter. She is sixteen now.
ARTEM: (after the pause) How old is she? How does she look? Is she smart? Is she beautiful?
OLGA: Yes she is.
ARTEM: I hear sadness in your voice? Does she have your personality?
OLGA: I don't know… I don't think so.
ARTEM: Does she upset you?
OLGA: She "kills" me.
ARTEM: When a mother says something like that it means a daughter is exactly like her or a complete opposite.
OLGA: All those years, I was waiting for you. Even though, as time was passing by, I accepted the fact that you will never come; but deep inside I kept waiting. I wanted to tell you so much. Here we are and I don't know where to begin.
ARTEM: From the beginning.
OLGA: When you broke up with me I felt "suffocated". I didn't see, hear or understand anything. I died. Then, one day I felt a move inside of me. It happened again and again and all of a sudden everything had changed. First time after long several months I could breath. I finally exhaled that long lasting pain. Another life needed me. I carried my future (pause). She was sixteen in April.
ARTEM: (Looks at her with the question in his eyes.)
OLGA: You have always been good with math.
ARTEM: Why did you keep quiet?
OLGA: Put yourself in my shoes… Try… What should have or could have I said? Call? Ask for help? Ask you to come back? Get married or to get the alimony? Tell me. As far as I knew, I was forgotten and my heart was broken. I did not get even one call that could spark a hope. I had too much pride to call myself; so, I decided to stay alone. That's what I did. I became strong. I have had enough strength for two. Eventually, I got used to be alone. Now, I actually like it.
ARTEM: Who does she look like?
OLGA: Like you
ARTEM: By the way, where is she? Aren't you afraid? It is dark outside and she is so young.
OLGA: She'll be back soon. She is with one of her girlfriends. I am not afraid any more.
ARTEM: What are you talking about?
OLGA: (changing topic) it happened that I almost never go on vacation to the black sea. Do you?
ARTEM: Have you gone there ever again?
OLGA: No
ARTEM: I was there a couple of years ago. It's all different now.
OLGA: Were you alone?
ARTEM: Yes
OLGA: How was it?
ARTEM: What do you want to know?
OLGA: How does a single man entertain himself being there? So many temptations.
ARTEM: Many… It's true.
OLGA: Did you remember?
ARTEM: I did
OLGA: It has been a couple of years since, though.
ARTEM: Can I talk to our kid.
OLGA: She is not a kid.
ARTEM: I get it. She is sixteen.
OLGA: It's not just that.
ARTEM: What else? I don't understand.
OLGA: (very long pause) I explain it later. I am trying to understand her. Teens are the most frustrating years of life. Kids start think, analyze and experience first ups and downs of grown up life. They feel everything very keen especially when adults lie to them and then cut off the follow up questions. For years, I was doing the same because it was easier and more convenient to me. I am not trying to excuse myself. I just couldn't… didn't want to… didn't know how to come back to my youth for the better understanding of her life.
ARTEM: Do you have a complicated relationship with her?
OLGA: Superficially, we have very good, warm and based on mutual trust relationship. ARTEM: Superficially?
OLGA: I've been trying to understand her. For a while, I was thinking that to be needed to her is the most important thing. My help, support and advice were the bases for everything. Later I came to the conclusion that I cannot sacrifice my own life and let her to run the house and me. There is a fine line though. It is very difficult not to fall over. Not too many people have the gift of parenting.
ARTEM: I can't believe you have problems with that.
OLGA: I don't know how to explain it to you. Everyone crosses the line of adulthood at a different time.
ARTEM: So, how does it interfere with your guys relationship.