OLGA: I don't know if I can. You know, I am thinking sometimes that I emphasized wrong things in my life. I did it when I was young. I believed in the simple soviet propaganda that material goods are on the bottom of the written in stone pyramid of soviet values and that only the spirituality and the education should be our goals. I believed that the wish to have a career is actually wrong. I believed that the nice and comfortable lifestyle is a sign of a narrow mindedness, a mean nature and a bad taste. (Pause) Well… things did not add up as it turned out to be. I was doing a lot of self-education. I learned to be the hardest critic of myself. I realized that my life in reality is just an existence, survival if you will. You'll be surprised but I still like opera. Do you remember the line"Boris Godunov" – "bread?! Bread?!"? Did anything change but the way to ask for that bread? You know, in times of loneliness, frustration and misunderstanding, my small and isolated world turned out to be my greatest salvation. (Pause) You are not interested aren't you? I'm sorry.
(During the monolog Artem gets up. He looks extremely interested).
ARTEM: What are you talking about? I enjoy listening to you very much. Frankly, I think that it is exactly what was missing from my life – a woman's way of thinking and understanding. I guess, that's why my memory has kept those two weeks of the spiritual union. Looking back, I realize that it has not happen since, but who knows, maybe I did not look for it. We – men need to assert ourselves before your -women eyes. To build self-confidence for one more swing at life… It's necessary… The only thing that matter is a "threshold". It differs from man to man (pause). You are the complex one – the high threshold one… Very high… (He sits down). After a while everything changes. You know… As years go by… It seems that everything is in place. It feels that the goals are accomplished; but deep inside you face the fact that not all of them actually are and there are the heights out there you will never be able to conquer even if you want to. That's it. You are in the groove. It's good, comfortable and easy but some things are lost: the soul, the sincere look in peoples eyes… And (pause) and you start searching. Let’s be honest, you can find it only in very young women. They are naïve and they want to believe. I am still finding them, madam. I am still good at it.
(Very long pause)
ARTEM: It's so good to speak out-loud. I mean to speak without looking over the shoulder and weighting every word. Olya if you would only know how good it feels!
(There is a change in Olga's behavior. It feels that she is holding back an old and deep mortification. She is depressed. She tries hard not to reproach Artem with it.)
OLGA: I am listening to you and thinking how different we are. You are so laid back and easy going. It's nice and easy to be in your company. Your people skills are amazing; they are the warranty of personal success and your life in general. You are the one to envy. I envy you too. (Pause). You can't change your nature, however. You know that expression in Ukrainian " Yake u kolisci take i u truni".
Deep people are usually being difficult to themselves first of all. They want but they can't and don't know how to look at life with ease. Their feelings are deep and heavy and they carry the enormous pressure of responsibilities. It's not easy to be around them. Their reliability and accountability are the silent rebuke to the blind carelessness and simplicity of shallow people, so are their feelings. We are what we are. I can't change myself. No one was able to inhabit my soul but you. (Pause). Women cannot stop loving but they can get disappointed. I did not have that opportunity. I simply did not have you around. (Pause). Your phone call was a complete surprise. (Pause) The statement that opposites attract is not true. They envy and blame each other silently or out loud.
ARTEM: You are philosophizing even more now.
OLGA: No, this is not philosophizing. This is a banal analysis of myself, my missteps and failures.
ARTEM: Olen'ka can you turn off the TV please? It feels like we are being constantly interrupted.
(Olga turns off the TV)
ARTEM: (continues) so, what do you think we will never be able to achieve.
OLGA: For example, to give birth… to create a life.
ARTEM: (flirtatious) How is that?
OLGA: I was talking about not a physical form of life but rather of our abilities to raise and teach taking into consideration the previous mistakes. We don't possess the beautiful and naïve delight of youth and the wish to believe, Artem. It is a sad word "NEVER". It already hangs over our heads and let us knows that it is there, not too frequently just yet.
ARTEM: That's depressing.
OLGA: I am sorry.
ARTEM: It's okay (he has not used to the serious conversations with women. He tries to look interested.) I am listening to you with so much interest.
OLGA: Are you?
ARTEM: Very much.
OLGA: You know, I am thinking now… My life was ultimately divided in two parts. Before you left everything was like rings on a chain – little girl was growing up and was waiting for love and she got it. That life was simple. However, there was another life to follow. There was no little girl anymore. There was a woman and that woman was not waiting for love she was waiting for the lover. Silly me, should have understood, that the life was different but I kept living my second life having the wishes of the first one. As a result, now I have what I have. No one understands. How is that? The good looking and intelligent woman is unfortunately to no avail.
ARTEM: (Feels uncomfortable. Tries to change the topic). It's late already. Should I go now?
OLGA: Oh, stop it? You such a rare guest.
(Doorbell rings. Olga leaves the room.)
ARTEM: (Takes out of the pocket a small phone-book. Speaks quietly out loud). I think I got a wrong number. That's unfortunate.
(Olga comes back in the room).
OLGA: It was my neighbor. She is curious as usual.
ARTEM: (Jokingly) let me guess. Was she in a desperate need of salt?
OLGA: No, her TV unexpectedly broke down.
ARTEM: (Jokingly) it would be great to chat with her for an hour or two. Ask her to sit with us. (Laughs)
OLGA: Artem, stop it. It is not funny. I enjoy conversing with you. Let's keep drinking our tea and talk.
(She picks up the kettle and goes to the kitchen. As she leaves she says, – "wait just a minute").
ARTEM: (Begins to talk loudly; so she can hear him in the kitchen). The priorities are distributed in a strange way. We try to hang onto our kids who don't need us any longer. We try to save the families that cannot be saved anymore. (Olga comes back and pours fresh tea in the cups.) Public opinion is a double standard. It does not blow up because of rudeness, alcoholism, theft and laziness. We've raised irresponsibility to the level of necessity. We keep confusing the world with the unexplainable passion to the insignificant things and the disregard to our own lives. (Pause).
OLGA: I am listening. This is interesting. I have an off-topic question though. I hear compassion to people in your words. Compassion requires a sacrifice to be made.