The Chatsfield Collection Books 1-8

CHAPTER EIGHT

“PERHAPS I SHOULD get Abdullah-Hasiba,” Yusuf said.

Liyah spun toward him. “No. You won’t tell her. This is my business.”

Her business. No one else’s. She was alone now.

On one level, Liyah realized that she was flying apart, but she could do nothing to stop it. Her ability to repress her feelings and put on a cool front had deserted her completely.

After a wary glance at her, Yusuf looked toward Sayed for direction.

His emir ignored him, moving forward so Liyah had no choice but to back up until he had her pressed against the wall. She should have felt trapped, but her rampaging heart started to calm, her breathing slowing down to match his even inhalations.

He filled her vision and dominated her other senses, leaving no room for anything else, including her escalating panic.

Cupping her cheeks, Sayed waited until Liyah met his gaze and held it. “Listen to me, ya ghaliyah ghazal. If you carry my child, we will face this together. You are not alone.”

If only that were true. He could call her his precious gazelle, but she wasn’t his. She wasn’t precious to him.

No matter how beautiful he found her, women who didn’t come from money or royalty, women like Liyah, who worked for a living, didn’t exist for him in his world.

She almost laughed with gallows humor. “You don’t even think I’m good enough for an affair. You aren’t going to raise a child with me.”

And why were they even talking like this. She wasn’t pregnant. She couldn’t be.

“I told you, the differences in our lives are just that. Not levels of superiority.”

“Right. Mrs. Palace Aid, remember that?”

He huffed out a sound that was almost a laugh. “I believe that, after her betrayal, I am allowed a measure of leeway.”

“I suppose.”

“Just promise me this. We will take each day as it comes...together.”

How could she promise that? How could she trust it?

“Promise me, habibti.”

“You called me that on purpose.”

“Everything I do is on purpose.”

“Not taking my virginity, it wasn’t.”

Instead of renewing his anger with the reminder, it made him laugh. “No, perhaps not, but taking you to my bed was.”

“You were drunk.”

“No, I was not.”

“Oh.”

“Were you too inebriated to know what you were doing?” he asked. “Tell me the truth.”

“No. I told you.”

“Then we will both accept the consequences of choices we knowingly made.”

She nodded.

“Together.”

“For now.”

“As long as your pregnancy is a possibility.”

She tried to read his eyes, but could see nothing beyond sincerity and determination that might give her stubbornness a run for its money. “Okay.”

He smiled. “Good. That is a beginning.”

Yusuf cleared his throat. “We need to consider procurement of the morning-after pill.”

Sayed turned so he stood between Liyah and the bodyguard, his back to her. “What are you talking about?”

“Emergency birth control.”

“No.”

“It’s not—”

“An option,” Sayed insisted, interrupting his bodyguard.

“It might be,” Liyah offered, remembering an article she’d read about the different types of after-the-fact birth control. “If it’s the one that doesn’t get rid of pregnancy, only prevent it.”

“How is it possible you know this and yet are so uncomfortable talking about sex?” Sayed asked, turning to face her again, his expression searching.

She rolled her eyes. “I read.” One of her secret vices was a long-standing subscription to a popular women’s magazine. “I’m inexperienced, not ignorant.”

“Tell me about this pill.”

“Well, there’s more than one, but I think...hope...the one Yusuf is talking about is safe. You know, if I’m pregnant already, it won’t hurt the baby. Or me.” She wanted to keep denying the possibility she was pregnant.

And truly, she couldn’t believe she was, but she wasn’t an ostrich. She wouldn’t be burying her head in the sand in the face of a potential reality.

No matter how much she might want to.

Sayed nodded acknowledgment. “It cannot be one hundred percent effective.”

“Not absolutely, no.”

“So, our immediate plans must be the same regardless.”

“You are right, of course,” Yusuf answered. “I will begin making arrangements.”

“I’ll have to talk to the local clinic about getting the pill.”

“No,” Sayed and Yusuf said in unison.

“What? Why not?” How else were they going to get it?

“Too risky,” Yusuf said baldly.

“In what way?” she asked, again feeling like she was missing something.

Sayed grimaced. “We cannot afford for word of this situation to leak to the press, particularly in the wake of the scandal Tahira’s defection has caused.”

Liyah wanted to protest at being labeled a situation, but understood Sayed’s viewpoint. He was already facing major public scandal; she had no desire to add to it.

“Stealth mode. I’ve got it.”

Sayed sighed. “If destiny has ordained you carry my child, then we will do our best to face that fate with courage and honor, but we will proceed with caution in the interim.”

“You make it sound like we’re going to war.”

He smiled and shook his head, dropping his hands. “Life is a war of choices, Aaliyah. Last night, neither of us made the best ones, but that does not mean we rush headlong into rash decisions this morning.”

She missed the touch of his hands, but told herself not to be a fool. “We look at our options and take responsibility.”

Something Liyah believed in very strongly and couldn’t help being glad he did, too.

Sayed was no Gene Chatsfield.

“Exactly.” Sayed’s tone was laced with satisfied approval, his gaze almost warm before he turned very serious. “However, some responsibilities carry greater weight than others.”

“What do you mean?”

“I need to return to Zeena Sahra. Tahira’s actions will have long-reaching consequences for our country.”

Feeling unaccountably bereft at the thought of his abandonment, Liyah nevertheless nodded. “I understand.”

“Good. It is unfortunate you will not be able to work out your notice, but it is fortuitous that you already made your plans to leave.”

“What? Why won’t I work out my notice?”

“I’ve told you, we must leave for Zeena Sahra immediately.”

“You said you had to leave.”

He gave her a look that said she wasn’t following him. “Naturally you must come with me.”

“Why?”

“You may carry my child.”

“But we don’t know.”

“And until we do, you will be under my protection and care.”

“But—”

“Come, do not tell me you would not love to visit the country of your mother’s birth.”

“I would, very much, but under different circumstances than these.”

He shrugged. “We make of our circumstances what we wish them to be.”

“Remember that when you’re dealing with the fallout from Tahira’s elopement.” Liyah felt bad as soon as she said the words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make light of what you’re going through.”

“Apology accepted. Now, let us prepare for our trip.”

“I didn’t say I was going.”

“But you will.” He smiled winningly. “What better guide to introduce you to the magic that is Zeena Sahra than its emir?”

“I don’t remember you being this persuasive last night.” Bossy, yes, persuasive, no.

“It is another facet of my character for you to come to know.”

* * *

As the jet taxied down the runway, Liyah marveled at how efficiently Sayed’s people worked.

It was easier than thinking about why she was on this plane.

In the time it took Liyah to explain to the head housekeeper that an unavoidable circumstance had arisen which required Liyah to leave London immediately, they had packed her bedsit, paid off the lease and delivered her things to Sayed’s jet.

She hadn’t brought much more than clothes with her from the States to begin with, but still.

All this effort and near-frightening efficiency on behalf of the possibility she carried Sayed’s baby.

Thankfully, her boss had been a lot more understanding than Liyah had expected. The head housekeeper had told Liyah that with her work ethic, the older woman knew her lead chambermaid would not be leaving if any other choice was open to her.

“My counterpart in San Francisco as well as your former employers had nothing but good things to say about you, Miss Amari.”

The unprecedented warmth and affirmation from the usually no-nonsense woman had been a balm to Liyah’s battered pride after her father’s attack on her integrity the day before.

And it had made Liyah feel guilty because she wasn’t telling the whole truth and her only reason for having to leave was the results of her own poor judgment.

It was a smooth takeoff and it hardly seemed as if any time had passed at all before the pilot announced they’d gained sufficient stability and altitude to move about the cabin and turn on small electronic devices.

“I wasn’t expecting that on a private plane,” she said to Sayed, who sat beside her.

“Air safety regulations must be maintained.” The answer did not come from Sayed, but Yusuf, who now stood in the aisle beside their seats.

He and the rest of the security team were sitting toward the front of the plane. Two on either side of a table they’d been using to play cards on since the door had been closed for takeoff.

Other than the cabin attendant, there was no one else on the spacious private jet. Clearly, Sayed was taking pains to keep her presence on the plane under wraps.

She should have felt like his dirty secret, but his attitude toward her was too respectful. And as she’d told him earlier, she understood the need for stealth mode.

For now.

She wasn’t Hena Amari; Liyah wasn’t about to fade into the background to save the man she’d had sex with from facing up to his responsibilities.

Sayed, who had taken the seat beside her rather than sitting opposite, had papers spread on the table.

They looked like printouts of news articles. Since most of them had pictures of Tahira and a rather ordinary-looking man, Liyah assumed they were the media’s response to the elopement.

The man in the pictures with the Middle Eastern beauty did not appear near middle age, but his hair was clearly already thinning. Though there were stress lines around his eyes, they still appeared kind.

And Liyah thought she might understand how a woman could trust her life to this man over one who had never shown the slightest physical interest in her despite their engagement.

Because for all Tahira’s beauty, she looked extremely young and even more innocent than Liyah had been before last night.

Sayed noticed her interest in the articles and waved at them. “My former fiancée with her palace aid.”

“You’re going to have to stop putting that rather obvious emphasis on his job title if you don’t want the media to label you an elitist.”

Sayed frowned, but Yusuf said, “Miss Amari is right.”

“You are not my public relations specialist,” the emir reminded his bodyguard.

Yusuf didn’t bother to answer, but held out a single pill blister pack. “As we discussed.”

Sayed took it. “Thank you.”

Yusuf nodded before returning to his seat.

Liyah did not watch him go; her focus was stuck on the silver packet in Sayed’s hand.

“How effective is it?” she asked, her memory not very clear on that point.

“Dr. Batsmani said it is considered between eighty and ninety-five percent.”

“Then why am I on this plane? Why didn’t I just take it back in London and be done with it?”

“Five to twenty percent are hardly impossible odds.” Sayed called the cabin attendant over for water with a wave of his hand.

When it arrived, Liyah opened the blister pack with inexplicable reluctance. Her head knew this was absolutely the right thing to do. She hadn’t planned on motherhood at this point in her life, if ever.

If she were pregnant, Liyah would do her best, just as Hena Amari had done. That didn’t mean she craved the opportunity to raise a child alone.

Although, according to Sayed, that was not one of the options she had to worry about.

Some little part of her heart disagreed with her head, telling her to forget the pill. Hadn’t she wondered what kind of sane woman could let a man like Sayed go?

But no woman with honor would want to have him because he was trapped.

Besides, last night had been the first time she’d ever allowed her emotions to rule. And the aftermath had not been a resounding success.

“It has no effectiveness sitting in your hand,” he teased.

She leaned toward him. “Shh...”

“It’s just a pill. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“You know what it’s for,” she whispered.

Humor, rather than the seriousness she would have expected, warmed his dark eyes. “Yes, indeed. I do know.”

“I don’t understand how you’re so cavalier about...” She paused, looking for a word that wouldn’t practically burn her mouth to say.

“Sex?” he asked, striving for innocent, but too amused to be anywhere close.

She glared at him. “You’re from Zeena Sahra. You went without for three years. You should understand repressed.”

“Suppressed, maybe. It’s not the same. I am not ashamed to share a common physical need with an entire planet of people.”

“It’s different for you, you’re a man.”

“Do you think so?”

“Mom was pretty adamant that women had to remain chaste until marriage.”

“And yet you decided not to.”

“I doubt I’ll ever marry,” she admitted. “I’m too shy with men.”

“Really?” He didn’t sound doubtful, so she didn’t take offense at his question.

“Most men. The combination of alcohol and you is a lethal combination.”

“I would like to think the alcohol was unnecessary.”

“It probably would be in future,” she admitted with the honesty she seemed unable to suppress around him. “But last night? It definitely played its role.”

“And yet you insist you were in control of your faculties when you chose to make love with me.”

“I was, just not chained down by my usual inhibitions and introversion around men.”

“You will be less nervous with the opposite sex in the future, I am sure.” He didn’t sound exactly pleased by that prospect.

“It didn’t work that way for my mom.”

“She had you.”

“And a family who rejected her. I have no one left to reject me.”

“That’s a rather morbid thought.”

“Sorry.”

“I will reject you if it will make you feel better.”

“Don’t do me any favors.” But she felt a small smile curving her lips.

She liked bantering with him.

Which scared her probably more than it should.

Determined to lead with her head, not her heart, she took a deep breath, tossed back the pill and swallowed it down with water.

CHAPTER NINE

AS THE MINUTES wore on, a need for the restroom broke through Liyah’s consuming thoughts.

Loathe to interrupt Sayed in his furious typing on the computer he’d pulled out, she tried to ignore the growing urgency.

She grabbed a magazine from the pocket to the side of her chair and laid it on the table, hoping the glossy stories about other people’s lives would keep her mind occupied and off her biological needs. She flipped through the pages, nothing catching her attention.

Shifting slightly from one side to the other helped, but pretty soon she was going to have to ask Sayed to move.

Suddenly, he stopped typing and leaned toward her. “Are you all right, habibti?”

“Yes, I just, um...” Liyah wasn’t just repressed about sex, but found talking about any private bodily functions a trial.

Which was ridiculous, she realized. She was an adult woman, for goodness’ sake.

“You should have told me you were a virgin.” Sayed frowned at her. “I could have shown more restraint with you last night.”

“Are you trying to undo a lifetime of repression in a single day, or something?” If asking him to move so she could use the restroom would have been embarrassing, this was mortifying. “I’m fine.”

“You are clearly in pain.”

“I need to pee,” she huffed out in a furious whisper, frustrated by her own reticence and his insistence.

“Why did you not say so?” He rose, allowing her to exit her seat.

When she got back, she considered sitting across from him, but didn’t gainsay him when he stood again so she could retake her seat by the window.

Once she was settled in again, he handed her an electronic reader. “It has most of the recent bestsellers, but if you want to download something else, the plane is set up with wireless internet.”

“Thank you. The magazines would have been fine.”

“Nonsense. Though, really, you should probably take a nap.”

Startled, she asked, “I look tired?”

“Perhaps a little. It has been a full and wearing day.”

He could say that again. “For you, too, but I don’t see you dozing in your chair.”

“The last time I napped, stuffed animals still decorated my bed.” He smiled. “Getting six hours of sleep in a row is a luxury for me.”

“But that’s not healthy.”

He shrugged. “Such is the life of an emir taking over the responsibilities of a melech with no younger brother to take over my own diplomatic duties.”

“Why is your father abdicating? Does he have health issues?” she asked before realizing it was probably an invasive query. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer.”

“I never answer questions I do not wish to.”

“Arrogance has its benefits.”

He smiled. “I suppose so. I do not mind telling you my father is in excellent health.”

“Is he tired of being king?” she probed, trying to understand the heavy responsibilities being thrust on Sayed.

“Not at all.”

“Then why?”

“It is tradition.”

“Will your father take over the diplomatic stuff once he’s no longer acting melech?”

Sayed jerked, as if surprised by the question. “That would not be in line with Zeena Sahran tradition. I am not sure my father would find taking orders from his son a comfortable circumstance.”

“But the melech dictates political policy?”

“With the help of a cabinet of counselors, yes. My father will act as one of my advisers, as well.”

It still wasn’t making sense to her. “So, what, your father is just going to retire and start golfing, or something? Won’t he get bored?” How much time could it take to give Sayed advice every day?

Maybe she didn’t understand working monarchies, but she could not imagine a former king content to sit home twiddling his thumbs.

“Honestly? I have wondered the same thing myself. My father is a very dynamic man and I do not think he would enjoy the pursuits that kept my grandfather busy in his twilight years.”

“So, why retire now? Do you want to take over as melech?”

“No one has ever asked me that.” He looked at her like she was some kind of rare species he’d never seen before.

“Maybe they should have. What’s the answer?”

“My duty is clear.”

“Yes, but is it one you want, or even need, to take on right now?”

“You question things you cannot hope to understand.”

“Maybe.” But he still hadn’t answered the question and Liyah thought that was telling.

Sayed went back to his computer, dismissing her. Refusing to take it personally, Liyah skimmed his download of that morning’s copy of The Times. He had probably been happy to note there was no mention of Tahira’s elopement, but it would certainly be in tomorrow’s edition.

After a while, she set the reader down, intending to take that nap he suggested.

But as soon as she closed her eyes, everything started pressing in on her. The argument with her father played over in her mind like an unpleasant reality show. When she managed to push those images aside, then pictures of the night before rose up to fill the void.

An unrelenting montage of the sensual and profound that uselessly fed her newly discovered love.

Sighing, she opened her eyes.

It didn’t help. Her mind and heart were determined to dwell on emotions and experiences she would have been better off without.

Sayed turned from his work at his computer. “You are very pensive, Aaliyah.”

“Don’t you think I have reason to be?” She rubbed her temples. “I may not be an emir, but my whole life just took a ninety-degree turn.”

“Perhaps you needed a detour.”

“Do you think you know what’s best for everybody?”

“It is in the job description.”

“Right.”

He smiled.

And she almost smiled back. Darn him.

That nap was sounding better and better. If only she could sleep, but then she’d probably dream about him. She’d done that before they’d made love. Now the dreams would probably be even more frequent and, with her new knowledge, definitely more graphic.

She expected him to go back to his work, but he didn’t. “You said something yesterday about having a confrontation with your father being the reason you’d broken into Tahira’s liquor stash.”

Liyah opened her mouth to deflect, but she wanted to discuss the painful event with someone and Sayed was offering. “Yes.”

“It did not go well?”

“No.”

“You alluded to him treating you very poorly.” Sayed’s dark gaze probed hers.

“He did.”

“You are being rather laconic.” Sayed smiled, as if he found her amusing.

She didn’t mind. She liked his smile. Too much. “I suppose I am.”

She found herself grinning at his huff of obviously exaggerated exasperation, but then memories took away the lightness his humor had wrought. “It hurt that my father thought I was trying to work an angle, but that’s not what was most painful.”

“What was it, then?”

“When it became clear that my mom had lied to me my whole life.” That had hurt so much. “She always told me that even though he could not have me in his life because he already had a wife and children, he cared enough to send a small stipend to help with my care and education.”

“And this was a lie?”

“Yes. Oh, he was married, but he didn’t even know I existed.”

“That must have been quite a blow.” Sayed laid his hand over hers, offering comfort she needed badly. “To learn your beloved mother had been dishonest with you, but also to be made aware that whatever concern you’d thought he had for you had no substance.”

“You can’t care about someone you don’t even know exists.”

“And then when he learned, he reacted badly.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

Liyah wanted to lean into Sayed, but stopped herself from such a blatantly needy action. “The best I can figure out, the money Mom saved from not paying rent was what she pretended came from him.”

It had been an elaborate but necessary ruse as Hena had insisted on teaching Liyah about finances from a young age. Her own parents had not been forthcoming with Hena and she’d made some bad monetary decisions in her ignorance.

She’d been determined her own daughter would not be put in the same situation.

Hena teaching Liyah about finances resulted in her daughter being very aware of their own. The pretense of support payments had worked to conceal both of the big secrets her mother kept from Liyah.

“Not paying rent?” Sayed asked.

“Another thing she hid from me. Her father owned our apartment and allowed us to live there rent-free as long as Mom promised not to bring me to Zeena Sahra.”

“What?” Sayed’s expression registered astonishment. “Why would he make such a stipulation?”

“So I wouldn’t shame them with my existence.”

“Because your mother chose to raise you,” he guessed.

Apparently, he understood his own culture better than Liyah did. She’d never understand that kind of thinking. “Yes.”

“Was that the reason you had no immediate plans to travel to Zeena Sahra?”

“Not on your life. Once I’d fulfilled my mom’s last wish, I had every intention of visiting her homeland.”

“You are very strong-minded.”

“Another facet of my character for you to get to know,” she said, facetiously repeating his words of the morning back to him.

He nodded quite seriously, though. “Yes, it is, and one I believe I like.”

“Considering how bossy you are, that is difficult to believe.”

He shrugged. “Nevertheless, it is the truth.”

“You’re surrounded by yes-men,” she guessed, not sure she believed it.

“You’ve met Yusuf,” Sayed said with meaning.

She felt another smile and gratitude for it. “He doesn’t seem overawed by you, that’s for sure.”

“I assure you, he is not.”

“That makes two of us,” she said cheekily.

“I am wounded. A man hopes his lover esteems him.”

“We’re hardly lovers.” They were more like a one-night stand with consequences.

His gaze heated. “I would like to be.”

Suddenly tension thrummed between them.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“I will not press my attentions on you, but I will also not pretend the thought of making love to you again does not dominate my thoughts far too much, particularly considering the issues facing me.”

“You still want me?”

“Very much so.”

“But won’t that make the chances of pregnancy higher?”

“We will use condoms.”

She blushed, as much at his frank speech as at the fact she hadn’t immediately thought of that, as well. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I want you, too.” And any stored memory for the future she could manage to hoard, she would.

“I am glad.”

“Me, too, I think.”

They shared a look that made sitting in the luxury leather seat on the private jet uncomfortable.

She was pretty sure he would have done something about it right then, though she had no idea what it would have been considering their circumstances, but the flight attendant came over to set the table in front of them for dinner.

They were eating their braised lamb with potatoes and vegetables when he asked, “You discovered these things after your mother’s death?”

Liyah found herself explaining how she’d found out her grandfather owned her apartment, how utterly devastating the funeral and meeting with the lawyer afterward had been when he had told her she must vacate her apartment.

“I didn’t let them see it, though. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.”

“You have admirable emotional control.”

If he realized the feelings she had for him she’d been unable to prevent or stifle, he wouldn’t think so.

“Do you plan to return to San Francisco?”

“After we confirm I’m not pregnant?”

“If that is the case, yes.”

“I don’t know. Maybe I will travel for a while.” She’d planned to save what was left of her mother’s life insurance for the future, but to what end?

Liyah was twenty-six. If she didn’t experience life now, when would she?

“Alone?” Sayed asked, disapproval evident. “Your mother would not encourage that, I think.”

“I’m an adult and this is the twenty-first century, not the twelfth. A woman can travel alone.”

“Not safely.”

“Oh, please.”

Sayed spent the next five minutes quoting statistics for crime against women traveling alone, particularly out of their home countries.

“Why do you know all this?”

“My cousin Samira wanted to go backpacking across Europe without bodyguard or chaperone a couple of years ago.”

“How old was she?” He was thirty-six, Liyah knew. She couldn’t quite picture a woman in the same age bracket wanting that kind of trip.

But then again, why not?

“Twenty-two. Her mother is my father’s younger sister.”

“And you said no.”

“Actually, my father refused permission on the request of my aunt.”

“Why not her own father?” Or Samira’s mother, for that matter?

“Her father died in the explosion that killed my older brother.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It is an old grief.”

“But not one that ever goes away completely.”

“No.”

“So, I bet Samira was mad.” Or maybe being raised in the royal family had made it easier to accept restrictions for the woman who was four years younger than Liyah.

“We found her a well-trained female bodyguard team and a companion to travel with her.”

“And they went backpacking?” Liyah asked in shock. “Seriously?”

“With a few travel compromises, yes.”

“Let me guess, they rode first class on the trains and had drivers in the cities they visited on a well-ordered travel itinerary.”

He smiled winningly. “Something like that.”

“So, is Samira your only cousin?”

“No, she has a younger brother. Bilal. My aunt was pregnant when she lost my uncle.”

“Are you close?”

“He is twelve years my junior.”

“I’m sure he looks up to you.”

“I spent what time I could with him since moving back from the States, but he left for his own years at university. Bilal was to return to Zeena Sahra in time for my wedding.” Sayed’s lips twisted in a grimace.

“He is close with my father. He stepped in for his deceased brother-in-law from the beginning.”

“Bilal is lucky to have you both.”

Sayed shrugged. “He is family.”

“So, why can’t you train him for the emir responsibilities before taking over from your father as melech?”

“You do not think I will make a good king?” Sayed demanded, sounding hurt.

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just pointing out there are options to tradition.” Her mother’s insistence on certain traditions had hurt Liyah more than helped her.

Hena’s willingness to break with others had made Liyah’s life what it was—in a very good way. Which was not to say that all tradition was bad, but being a slave to it was.

“Tell me about growing up in San Francisco,” Sayed said in an obvious attempt to change the subject.

Liyah didn’t hesitate, though. Because answering him gave her a chance to talk about her mom and that was something she’d been craving to do.

Sayed listened attentively to the stories of Liyah’s childhood and time living with her mother as an adult.

“You clearly loved your mother very much.”

“Yes.”

“It is equally apparent that she loved you fiercely.”

Suddenly choked with emotion, Liyah could only nod.

He narrowed his eyes in thought. “It sounds very much like each prevarication on your mother’s part was done with the intent to protect your feelings.”