Lapis lazuli thread. Collection of poems

Heart

                  I'm waiting for you, my soul.

                  Consumed by longing,

                  I can only pray for one thing from —

                  Be near and love me.

                  And I will be yours forever,

                  So simple and good-natured,

                  With the meaning of which

                  Every day and every hour is filled,

                  Because only you are able

                  To give life to my heart,

                  Which has not been beating for a long time,

                  But only silent and fading.

                  Will I be able to forgive myself?

                  Will I be able to save my life?

                  How much pain, how many tears…

                  I haven't seen the light for so long

                  That I'm ready to fall into darkness.

                  But you managed to give me

                  Something that I have long lost —

                  My beautiful hope,

                  Which led to the birth

                  Of a love that I have never

                  Dreamed of before in the sweetest dreams.

                  And with it came fear,

                  The fear that everything that exists

                  Is just a beautiful, but a mirage.

                  Spring 2018

Dear

                         Your soul is a dense forest,

                         Beauties of which are innumerable.

                         Shrouded in thick fog

                         And watered by rains,

                         It is filled with warmth and cold,

                         Leading me to salvation,

                         And with that, to my downfall.

                         Your eyes, stupefying my mind,

                         Are able to give comfort.

                         And in the most difficult hour —

                         With your warm hands,

                         With your warm words,

                         Only you are able to support,

                         Only you are able to revive.

                         The colors fade without you,

                         In the distance I'm suffocating, dying —

                         I want to hug you so much

                         And never let go,

                         To surrender both soul and body.

                         After all, I can't give more

                         To someone who is capable of animating.

                         Spring 2018

Bitterness of love

                        Torn from within,

                        A storm is raging in me,

                        And the storm, without subsiding,

                        Does not let me forget

                        All the bitterness that I was

                        Once destined to experience.

                        Tears flow without getting tired…

                        And no one knows their reasons,

                        And no one can understand me,

                        Because for me one joy

                        Is my old girlfriend,

                        Whose name is pillow.

                        The reason for my tears is simple —

                        My dreams, my hopes

                        Played a cruel joke on me.

                        My world was destroyed a long time ago,

                        It was burned to the ground a long time ago,

                        And now it is trampled to the end.

                        One love burned out,

                        And the other blossomed,

                        But this did not make it easier for me,

                        But only made it more painful.

                        Happiness is shattered,

                        As, indeed, am I myself.

                        I do not feel warmth,

                        There is no trembling, desires,

                        But only a terrible cold

                        That kills me from the one

                        To whom I had the imprudence to bring

                        My heart out of my chest.

                        My ailment is not curable —

                        A destroying feeling

                        That has ruined me more than once,

                        To forget, which I wish,

                        And in my life never

                        To remember it again.

                        Spring 2018