Her Motherhood Wish

Chapter Four

Ruby sneezed.

“God bless you, sweetheart! Here. You can use my handkerchief, if you need to.” Callie pulled the lace-edged square from her sleeve.

“I’m all wight. My nose just tickled.” The little girl rubbed it with the back of her hand.

“Sawdust can do that, and there’s plenty of it in here. Mr. Chip has been working very hard.”

Callie looked around the large woodshop. Stacks of boards rested in neat piles. Some were waiting to be cut, others had been planed and a fair number were sanded and ready to be oiled before being assembled into bed frames.

Her gaze lingered on the handsome carpenter as he kept his saw busy—and his muscular biceps flexing. The steady rasp as he sliced through the pine planks kept time with the rapid beating of her heart. At the rate Chip was going, he’d have the first order of furniture for the new dormitory built in no time. She wasn’t in any hurry. He was fun to be around, and he was so good with the children. She dragged her attention from him.

Jasper raced up to her on a stick horse. He’d whooped and hollered when Tess had dropped by with it the day before. He stroked the horse’s cinnamon-colored yarn mane. “I know what I’m gonna name him. Gingersnap, ’cause he’s the same color as one of them cookies we had after lunch. Do you like it?”

Callie smiled. “It’s a fine name.”

Chip paused, saw in hand. “I like it, too. You could call him Snap for short.”

Jasper tilted his head. “Like a nickname?”

“That’s right. Miss Callie has one. Her full name is Caroline.”

Callie seized the opportunity to learn what his name was. “What is Chip short for? Christopher, Charles or something else?”

Chip shook his head. “None of those. My name is really Sebastian. The first carpenter I worked for when I was a boy of ten, a Scotsman, said it was too much of a mouthful for a laddie like me since I was no bigger than a wood chip. He called me Chip, and the name stuck.”

“It suits you. Thanks for telling me. We’re keeping you from your work, though.” She held out a hand to Ruby. “We should find something else to do while Mr. Chip gets the next batch of boards cut. Let’s see if Mr. Isaac has time to lead you around on the pony, shall we?”

The thumping of Jasper’s stick horse on the wooden floorboards as he rode around the room came to an abrupt halt. “Mr. Chip don’t need my help now. Can I go, too?”

“He doesn’t need your help or ours just now, so I suppose you could join us.” She leaned toward him, smiled and adopted a playful tone. “If you’re interested in a riding lesson, that is.”

“Yee-haw!” Jasper galloped over to them, one hand holding the rope reins and the other swinging an imaginary lasso over his head. Ever since Jasper had seen the cattle on the day Chip and Callie brought him to the Double T, he’d been telling anyone willing to listen that he was going to be a cowboy when he grew up.

The room quieted. Chip stood with the saw hanging at his side and an exaggerated pout on his handsome face. “Are all my helpers going to abandon me?”

“Just for a short time. The children have spent the better part of three days in here with us. I understand why, but I thought some time outdoors would be good for them. Isaac mentioned that he would be free this afternoon and hinted rather strongly that he’d like to meet Jasper and Ruby.”

“I see.” Chip crossed the room in a few strides, wearing a smile. “And you’re going to take your brother up on his offer and leave me here to slave away on my own, are you?” He heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Good help is so hard to come by.”

Callie chuckled. “Since we really can’t do much to help at this point, I figured you might appreciate having some time to yourself. Without distractions.”

“Ah, but these are the best kind of distractions.” He ruffled the children’s blond heads. And winked at her.

Chip’s impulsive gesture didn’t mean anything. He was just being his usual engaging self, but even so, a shiver of delight raced up her spine.

His brow furrowed. “Are you cold?”

“Not at all.” With him standing so close, she could smell the masculine mix of wood, linseed oil and sunshine that was Chip. Even better, she had a good excuse to look into his intriguing eyes, a far deeper blue than her own, with golden circles around the centers. Those eyes widened, and she realized she was staring. “You’ll be fine without us for an hour or so, won’t you?”

“No. I’ll miss you something fierce, but I’ll manage somehow.”

She laughed and gave his arm a playful swat. “Oh, you.”

Jasper gazed up at her, his brow furrowed. “Why did you hit him, Miss Callie?”

She’d momentarily forgotten about their young chaperones. “I didn’t hit him. I just swatted him. Mr. Chip was teasing me, and I was teasing him back. That’s all. But you’re right. Hitting isn’t a good thing. We should get on over to the corral. We’ll see you when we return, Chip.”

“You might see me sooner than that. I could use a break myself.”

“We’d like that.” She certainly would, more than he knew.

“Then I’ll definitely join you.” He flashed her a smile that held the promise of an enjoyable time to come. She had to force herself not to skip down the path.

Minutes later Callie stood outside the corral fence watching Isaac lead Ruby around on a pony. Callie’s brother didn’t let his war injury hold him back, but he still had trouble with loud noises or altercations of any kind between adults. He was fine with children, though, because, as he said, they posed no threat. He’d certainly overcome Ruby’s hesitation in a hurry. The little girl was actually smiling.

Jasper waited beside Callie, his feet on the middle rung of the slat fence and his hands gripping the top one. “How long do I gotta wait for my turn?”

“Until Ruby’s done. It won’t be long now.” Footfalls from behind caught her attention.

Tess approached them, with her hands behind her back and a smile on her face. “Since you want to be a cowboy one day, Jasper, you’ll be needing one of these.” She held out a small cowboy hat.

Jasper’s eyes grew as round as wagon wheels. He took the hat and plopped it on his head.

Callie leaned close. “What do you say?”

He beamed at Tess. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad you like it. The Double T is a good place for boys like you. Papa Spencer and his ranch hands can teach you everything there is to know about raising cattle.”

Isaac led the pony up to the fence beside them. “This little lady had a nice ride. It’s her brother’s turn now.”

“Yee-haw!” Jasper cringed and clamped a hand over his mouth.

Tess’s forehead furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

Callie rested a hand on the remorseful boy’s shoulder. “He remembered that we’re not supposed to make loud noises around horses. Isn’t that right, Jasper?”

He bobbed his head.

Isaac passed Ruby to Callie and smiled at Jasper. “Sounds like you’re well on your way to being a good cowboy then, but you need to learn how to ride a horse. Let’s get you on the back of that pony, shall we?”

In no time, Jasper’s lesson was underway. Ruby sat on a bale of hay near Callie playing with her beloved doll, giving Callie time alone with Tess.

Tess watched Isaac instructing Jasper. “I never of tire of seeing your brother sharing his love of horses with the little ones. He’s come so far.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Isaac witnessed carnage such as I can’t begin to imagine. I look forward to the day he can break free from the shadows of the past and fully embrace the present.”

Compassion shone from Tess’s eyes. “Every person who arrives at the Double T has been wounded in some way and bears scars. While most of us eventually move beyond the traumas and tragedies that have come our way, some people have a harder time of it. The best we can do is love, support and encourage them, all the while praying that the Lord will work His healing.”

A peal of childish laughter rang out, drawing Callie’s eye. Isaac had said something that tickled Jasper. Tess was right. Isaac had made good progress at the Double T. One day he would be free of the mental anguish that plagued him, and she would rejoice. “I can’t thank you enough for giving Isaac a job and a purpose.”

“We’re blessed to have him. I’m thankful he’s brought you to us, as well. You’re a wonderful addition to our happy family.”

Tess excused herself and left, passing Chip, who was coming Callie’s way.

He ambled up beside her, rested his folded arms on the top rung of the fence and watched Isaac and Jasper. “Our boy’s doing well, isn’t he?”

Our boy. The words sent a surge of longing through Callie. She could imagine the day when she had a husband like Chip and children like Jasper and Ruby. “He is. Just look at his grin.”

“The hat’s a nice touch. Another gift from Tess, I presume?”

“Yes. The caring woman has six children of her own and two dorms full, as well, but she makes time for all of them and knows just what will make each of them happy. If I’m blessed with children one day, I want to be that kind of mother.”

“I’m sure you will.”

His words warmed her, but she couldn’t help thinking of the diagnosis that had destroyed her dream of bearing children of her own. If only something could be done to fix whatever had gone wrong inside her...

Chip turned to face her, leaning against the fence with one boot heel hooked on the lowest rung and his arms extended along the top one, a masculine stance that made him even more appealing. “If I recall correctly, you said Isaac looked forward to raising horses but is no longer able to ride himself, at least not without pain.”

She smiled. “Your attentiveness speaks to your character, as does your tactfulness in not mentioning his limp or...the other thing he deals with.”

“I have nothing but respect for the men who served. Many of them suffered—and are suffering still. You must be happy he’s found a job he enjoys.”

“Indeed, but what makes me happiest is that I located him. It took two years, but I did it.”

Chip raised an eyebrow. “He didn’t tell you where he was?”

“Because of his condition, he didn’t want to be a burden, so he headed to California after the war. I’d get a postcard from him every now and then, each one from a different location here in the Gold Country, but that was all. I came west to search for him.” She glanced at Isaac, smiled at the obvious delight on her brother’s face and retuned her attention to Chip. “What he didn’t know was that he could never be a burden. He’s not just my brother. He’s my only living relative. He’s also a good friend.”

“I can see why you were determined to find him. Nothing is as important as family.”

“It must be so hard not to have any of yours left. When did you lose the last one?”

“When I was nine. We were headed West when cholera ripped through our wagon train, and we all took ill. The disease claimed all five of them in the space of one week.”

“Oh, Chip, I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have brought it up if—” She followed his gaze, shocked to discover her hand resting on his arm. She pulled it away and hid it in the folds of her skirt. “F-forgive me.”

“Please, don’t feel badly. You had no way of knowing.”

How kind of him to intentionally misinterpret her apology. “How did you survive?”

“I used this.” He tapped his head. “People were saying the water had gone bad, and that’s what caused the cholera. Once I was on my own, I noticed that the single men who sat around the campfire drinking coffee with Cookie hadn’t gotten sick. I figured maybe something about boiling the water before drinking it made a difference, or maybe it was something in the coffee itself. I asked the old fellow if he’d bring me some in exchange for food from my family’s supplies, which he did.”

“I’m surprised you liked it. Most children don’t care for the taste.”

“I couldn’t stand it.” He shuddered at the memory. “Cookie put a pinch of salt in each pot to take out the bitterness, but it didn’t do any good as far as I could tell. I added a good deal of sugar, and that helped me choke it down. I can’t stomach coffee to this day, but according to Dr. Wright up in Placerville, it’s probably what saved my life.”

“Coffee? Really?”

“The sugar mostly. He’d read an article from a medical journal about a sugar treatment for cholera when he was in college. Seems I stumbled onto the cure myself. He said the boiled coffee probably helped, too. He boils his instruments because studies have shown fewer infections occur among the patients whose doctors employ that practice. Whatever it was, it worked.”

“I’m glad. The Lord’s used you to do a lot of good.” Chip had no idea how much she knew about his philanthropic endeavors, so she wouldn’t embarrass him by elaborating.

He shrugged. “I’m just doing my job.”

And doing it well. He was not only hardworking and humble, but he was also ambitious. Many carpenters were content to spend their years framing houses, laying floors and putting on roofs. Not Chip. He’d begun as a carpenter but had gone on to become a joiner, too, enabling him to install a building’s doors, windows and stairs. She’d learned over their memorable lunch that he’d arranged to spend several months working with a furniture maker three years ago, adding that skill to his repertoire.

What he’d neglected to tell her was that he would be heading up north for six months to work with a friend who specialized in sideboards and china cabinets. His farewell on his way out of town had come as a surprise. But he was here now, standing beside her and looking as winsome as ever. “Speaking of your job... I’ve been meaning to ask if the training you received up in Oregon was as beneficial as you’d hoped?”

Eagerness shone from his dark blue eyes. “Very much so. I’m eager to put everything I learned to work and complete the kitchen and dining room at my place. Once I do, I’ll be able to move forward with The Plan.”

“The Plan? What plan is that?”

“This one.” He pulled a worn piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to her.

She hesitated. “Are you sure you want me to see this?”

“Sure. It’s just a list of goals I came up with when I turned eighteen. I’ve been ticking them off right on schedule ever since. Open it and see for yourself.”

The pride in his voice piqued her curiosity. She unfolded the sheet and studied it. Chip had listed the year and his corresponding age down one side. Next to each of the twelve entries were two goals, which would take him all the way to age thirty. They began with “become a carpenter in my own right” and “purchase basic tools” and ended with “increase savings” and “have first child.”

She looked up from the page. “So you’re twenty-five and have already done everything you’d intended to up to this point?”

“I have. What do you think?” He’d resumed his casual pose, leaning against the fence, but the drumming his fingers against the top rail showed his eagerness to hear her answer.

“I’m impressed. In addition to learning joinery and furniture making, you’ve bought your quarter horse, Dusty, your workhorses and your wagon, along with a piece of property. You’ve also built your house, most of the furniture in it and a barn. As you said, all that’s left is to complete those last two rooms, and you’ll be ready to take the next steps.”

“Correct. Now you know why I’ve been working so hard. The best is yet to come. I’ll have the family I’ve dreamed of ever since I was nine.”

That wouldn’t happen for quite a while since The Plan didn’t call for him to begin courting for three more years—after he’d added some unspecified amount to his savings in order to “ensure that my family is well provided for.”

She cast a glance at Ruby. Assured that she was fine, Callie continued. “When I asked earlier how you survived, what I was really wanted to know was who took you in and how you fared with them.”

“And I filled your ears with the tale of my remarkable recovery. Sorry about that.” He gave her an apologetic smile.

“I’m glad you told me, but I am curious about the other.”

He averted his gaze and drew circles on the ground with the toe of his boot. “I spent a few years with a carpenter once I reached California—the one who gave me the nickname. He taught me everything he knew, and I moved on. I found a few other woodworkers who were willing to take me in, and I gleaned what I could from them, too.”

Clearly, there was more to his story, but she could understand why he wouldn’t want to talk about it. “You’ve done remarkably well for someone who’s been on his own for so long.”

His head came up. He moistened his lips, which drew her attention to them. What would it be like to feel them against hers?

You have no business thinking about that, Callie. Get a hold of yourself.

“I can see why family is so important to you and understand why your upcoming goals are related to that, but I’m sure you realize they’re different than the ones that came before.”

“What do you mean?”

She chose her words carefully. “All of your goals to this point were, to a certain extent, under your control. A number of those coming up—find a woman to court, marry and have children with—aren’t. You might find a lady you’d like to court, but she might not be interested in you.” Although the possibility of a woman being able to resist Chip’s many appealing characteristics seemed unlikely, it could happen.

He laughed. “Not that I’m vain or anything, but I don’t think that will be a problem. I work hard, and I’m not bad looking.”

Certainly not, but there was more to it. “Suppose the lady who captures your eye realizes what a wonderful man you are and marries you according to your plan. There’s no guarantee children will come along according to schedule, is there? It seems to me the Lord would have a hand in that. Wouldn’t you agree?”

All signs of amusement drained from his face. “You have a point, but He knows how much having a family of my own means to me. I see no need to alter The Plan. May I have it back, please?” He held out his hand, and she placed the paper in it.

Chip wasn’t just regimented. He was resolute. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I’m not upset.” His curt response said otherwise. “I just thought you’d understand.”

“I do. I’d like nothing better than for things to happen the way you want, but sometimes the Lord surprises us. You could meet a woman you fancy ahead of schedule. If that happened, you wouldn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to have her in your life because she came along too soon, would you?”

“Mr. Chip! Miss Callie!” Jasper sat on the pony holding the reins while Isaac limped along beside him. “Can you see? I’m riding all on my own.”

Chip spun toward the corral and smiled, once again his good-natured self. “You sure are. That’s great.”

Callie waved at Jasper. “You’re doing so well.”

Conversation turned to the children, to Chip’s apparent relief. Not that she could fault him for avoiding her probing questions. She’d challenged his way of viewing the world. Due to the tragic loss he’d suffered years before, his need to exert control over his life made sense. She’d experienced the same compulsion after losing her parents, but in her case, it had been short-lived. She turned to the Lord and trusted Him to look out for her, as He always had. He provided the dearest couple to take her in. The Marshalls had lavished her with loving care, until they’d received their heavenly rewards. She hoped Chip could find peace in spite of his past, as she had.

Isaac helped Jasper off the pony and led it to the barn. The beaming boy strode over to Chip and Callie and slipped between the fence slats. He puffed out his chest. “I’m gonna be a good cowboy. Mr. Isaac said so.”

“I’m sure you will,” Chip said. “We should get back now. I had to use a plane while you were gone, so there are shavings to be picked up. I know just the young fellow to help with that.”

“Yes! I can get more of ’em for my collection.” He took off running.

“Whoa, there, Jasper! Let’s walk like cowboys.”

Jasper returned and gazed up at Chip. “How do we do that?”

“Like this.” Chip hooked his thumbs in his pockets and demonstrated the loose-limbed, wide-legged swagger many associated with ranch hands. Callie couldn’t take her eyes off him. He’d never looked as cute—or as appealing.

If only she didn’t have that dreadful diagnosis to contend with. The trouble was that the longer she knew Chip, the more she liked him—and the more convinced she was that a woman like her would never interest him. He was set on having children of his own, and all indications were that she couldn’t bear a child. Maybe someday she’d find a man willing to consider alternative ways of forming a family, but Chip wasn’t that man. The sooner she accepted that, the better. To hold out false hope could only lead to heartache.