Cannius. Yea but tell me I praye the of all thes hoole hepe of euyls and miseries whiche greueth the moste?
Poliphemus. Whiche thynkes thou, tell me thy fansie and coniecture?
Cannius. That the Deuyll (god saue vs) maye daunce in thy purse for euer a crosse that thou hast to kepe hî for the.
Poliphe. I pray god I dye and yf thou haue not hyt the nayle vpon the head. Now as chaunceth I come newly from a knotte of good companye where we haue dronke harde euery man for his parte, & I am not behynde with myne, and therfore my wytte is not halfe so freshe as it wyll be, I wyll dyspute of the gospell with the whan I am sobre.
Canni. When shal I se the sobre?
Poli. When I shall be sobre.
Cannius. Whê wyll that be?
Poliph. When thou shalt se me, in the meane season god be with you gentle Cannius and well mot you do.
Cannius. And I wyshe to you a gayne for my parte that thou ware in dede as valiaunt or pusaunt a felowe as thy name soundeth.
Poliphe. And bycause ye shall lose nothynge at my hande with wyshynge I pray god that Cannius maye neuer lacke a good can or a stoope of wine or bere, wherof he had his name.
FINIS
The dialoge of thynges and names
A declaracion of the names
Beatus, is he whiche hathe abundance of al thinges that is good, and is parfyte in all thynges commendable or prayseworthy or to be desyred of a good man. Somtyme it is ta-
ken for fortunate, ryche, or
noble. Bonifaci9, fayre,
full of fauor or well
fauored
The parsons names are Beatus and Bonifacius
Beatus. God saue you mayster Boniface.
Bonifaci9. God saue you & god saue you agayne gêtle Beatus. But I wold god bothe we were such, and so in very dede as we be called by name, that is to say thou riche & I fayre.
Beatus. Why do you thynke it nothynge worth at al to haue a goodly glorious name.
Bonifacius. Truely me thynke it is of no valure or lytle good worthe, onles a man haue the thynge itselfe whiche is sygnified by the name.
Beatus. Yea you maye well thynke your pleasure, but I am assured that the most part of all mortall men be of another mynde.
Bonifa. It may wel be I do not denye that they are mortal, but suerly I do not byleue that they are me, which are so beastly mynded.
Bea. Yes good syr and they be men to laye your lyfe, onlesse ye thynke camels and asses do walke about vnder the fygure and forme of men.
Boni. Mary I can soner beleue that then that they be men whiche esteme and passe more vpon the name, then the thynge.
Bea. I graunte in certayne kyndes of thinges moost men had rather haue the thynge then the name, but in many thynges it is otherwyse and cleane cõtrary.
Bo. I can not well tell what ye meane by that.
Bea. And yet the example of this matter is apparant or sufficiently declared in vs two. Thou arte called Bonifacius and thou hast in dede the thynge wherby thou bearest thy name. yet if there were no other remedy but eyther thou must lacke the one or the other, whether had you rather haue a fowle and deformed face or elles for Boniface be called Maleface or horner?
Boni. Beleue me I had rather be called fowle Thersites then haue a monstrous or a deformyed face, whether I haue a good face or no I can not tell.
Bea. And euen so had I for yf I were ryche and there were no remedy but that I must eyther forgoo my rychesse, or my name I had rather be called Irus whiche was a poore beggers name then lacke my ryches.
Boni. I agree to you for asmoch as ye speake the trouth, and as you thynke.
Bea. Iudge all them to be of the same mynde that I am of whiche are indued with helthe or other commodities and qualities appartaynynge to the body.
Boni. That is very trewe.
Bea. Yea but I praye the cõsyder and marke howe many men we se whiche had rather haue the name of a lerned and a holy man, then to be well lerned, vertuous, & holy in dede.
Boni. I knowe a good sorte of suche men for my part.
Bea. Tell me thy fãtasie I pray the do not suche men passe more vpon the name then the thinge?
Boni. Methynke thy do.
Bea. Yf we had a logician here whiche could well and clarkelie defyne what were a kynge, what a bysshoppe, what a magistrate, what a philosopher is, paduêture we shuld find som amõg these iolly felowes whiche had rather haue the name then the thynge.
Boni. Surely & so thynke I. Yf he be a kinge whiche by lawe and equyte regardes more the commoditie of his people then his owne lucre/yf he be a bisshop which alwayes is careful for the lordes flocke cõmytted to his pastorall charge/yf he be a magistrate which frankelie and of good wyll dothe make prouysyon, and dothe all thinge for the comyn welthes sake/and yf he be a phylosopher whiche passynge not vpon the goodes of this worlde, only geueth hym selfe to attayn to a good mynde, and to leade a vertuous lyfe.
Bea. Lo thus ye may perseyue what a nombre of semblable exãples ye may collecte & gether.
Boni. Undouted a great sorte.
Bea. But I pray the tel me wyll you saye that all these are no men.
Boni. Nay I feare rather lest in so sayenge it shulde cost vs our lyues, and so myght we our selues shortelye be no men.
Bea. Yf man be a resonable creature, howe ferre dyffers this from all good reason, that in cõmodities apertayning to the body (for so they deserue rather to be called then goodnes) and in outwarde gyftes whiche dame fortune geues and takes awaye at her pleasure, we had rather haue the thynge then the name, and in the true and only goodnes of the mynd we passe more vpon the name then the thynge.
Boni. So god helpe me it is a corrupte and a preposterours iudgement, yf a man marke and consyder it wel.
Bea. The selfe same reason is in contrarie thinges.
Boni. I wolde gladly knowe what ye meane by that.
Bea. We maye iudge lykewyse the same of the names of thynges to be eschued, and incommodites which was spoken of thynges to be diffyred and cõmodites.
Boni. Nowe I haue considered the thynges well, it apereth to be euen so as ye saye in dede.
Bea. It shulde be more feared of a good prynce to be a tyraunt in dede then to haue the name of a tyraunt. And yf an euyll bysshop be a thefe and a robber, then we shulde not so greatly abhorre and hate the name as the thynge.
Boni. Eyther so it is or so it shuld be.
Bea. Nowe gather you of the rest as I haue done of the prynce & the bysshop.
Boni. Me thynkes I vnderstande this gere wonderouse well.
Bea. Do not all men hate the name of a fole or to be called a moome, a sotte, or an asse?
Boni. Yeas as moche as they do any one thynge.
Bea. And how saye you were not he a starke fole that wold fishe with a goldê bayte, that wolde preferre or esteme glasse better then precious stones, or whiche loues his horse or dogges better then his wyfe and his chyldrê?
Boni. He were as wyse as waltoms calfe, or madder then iacke of Redyng.
Bea. And be not they as wyse whiche not assygned, chosen, nor yet ones appoynted by the magistrates, but vpon theyr owne heed aduenture to runne to the warres for hoope of a lytle gayne, ieoperdynge theyr bodyes and daungerynge theyr soules? Or howe wyse be they which busie thê selfe to get, gleyne, and reepe to gyther, goodes and ryches when they haue a mynde destitute and lackyng all goodness? Are not they also euen as wyse that go gorgyously apparylled, and buyldes goodly sumptuous houses, when theyr myndes are not regarded but neglect fylthye and with all kynde of vyce fowle corrupted? And how wyse are they whiche are carefull diligent and busie, about the helthe of theyr body neglectynge and not myndynge at all theyr soule, in daunger of so many deedly synnes? And fynally to conclude howe wyse be they whiche for a lytle shorte transytorye pleasure of this lyfe deserue euerlastynge tormentes and punyshementes?
Boni. Euen reason forseth me to graunt that they are more then frãtyke and folyshe.
Bea. Yea but althoughe all the whole worlde be full of suche fooles, a man can scaselye fynde one whiche can abyde the name of a foole, and yet they deserue to be called so for asmoche as they hate not the thynge.