CHAPTER XXII
HILARY PUTS AN END TO IT
Like flies caught among the impalpable and smoky threads of cobwebs, so men struggle in the webs of their own natures, giving here a start, there a pitiful small jerking, long sustained, and failing into stillness. Enmeshed they were born, enmeshed they die, fighting according to their strength to the end; to fight in the hope of freedom, their joy; to die, not knowing they are beaten, their reward. Nothing, too, is more to be remarked than the manner in which Life devises for each man the particular dilemmas most suited to his nature; that which to the man of gross, decided, or fanatic turn of mind appears a simple sum, to the man of delicate and speculative temper seems to have no answer.
So it was with Hilary in that special web wherein his spirit struggled, sunrise unto sunset, and by moonlight afterward. Inclination, and the circumstances of a life which had never forced him to grips with either men or women, had detached him from the necessity for giving or taking orders. He had almost lost the faculty. Life had been a picture with blurred outlines melting into a softly shaded whole. Not for years had anything seemed to him quite a case for “Yes” or “No.” It had been his creed, his delight, his business, too, to try and put himself in everybody’s place, so that now there were but few places where he did not, speculatively speaking, feel at home.
Putting himself into the little model’s place gave him but small delight. Making due allowance for the sentiment men naturally import into their appreciation of the lives of women, his conception of her place was doubtless not so very wrong.
Here was a child, barely twenty years of age, country bred, neither a lady nor quite a working-girl, without a home or relatives, according to her own account – at all events, without those who were disposed to help her – without apparently any sort of friend; helpless by nature, and whose profession required a more than common wariness – this girl he was proposing to set quite adrift again by cutting through the single slender rope which tethered her. It was like digging up a little rose-tree planted with one’s own hands in some poor shelter, just when it had taken root, and setting it where the full winds would beat against it. To do so brusque and, as it seemed to Hilary, so inhumane a thing was foreign to his nature. There was also the little matter of that touch of fever – the distant music he had been hearing since the waggons came in to Covent Garden.
With a feeling that was almost misery, therefore, he waited for her on Monday afternoon, walking to and fro in his study, where all the walls were white, and all the woodwork coloured like the leaf of a cigar; where the books were that colour too, in Hilary’s special deerskin binding; where there were no flowers nor any sunlight coming through the windows, but plenty of sheets of paper – a room which youth seemed to have left for ever, the room of middle age!
He called her in with the intention of at once saying what he had to say, and getting it over in the fewest words. But he had not reckoned fully either with his own nature or with woman’s instinct. Nor had he allowed – being, for all his learning, perhaps because of it, singularly unable to gauge the effects of simple actions – for the proprietary relations he had established in the girl’s mind by giving her those clothes.
As a dog whose master has it in his mind to go away from him, stands gazing up with tragic inquiry in his eyes, scenting to his soul that coming cruelty – as a dog thus soon to be bereaved, so stood the little model.
By the pose of every limb, and a fixed gaze bright as if tears were behind it, and by a sort of trembling, she seemed to say: ‘I know why you have sent for me.’
When Hilary saw her stand like that he felt as a man might when told to flog his fellow-creature. To gain time he asked her what she did with herself all day. The little model evidently tried to tell herself that her foreboding had been needless.
Now that the mornings were nice – she said with some animation – she got up much earlier, and did her needlework first thing; she then “did out” the room. There were mouse-holes in her room, and she had bought a trap. She had caught a mouse last night. She hadn’t liked to kill it; she had put it in a tin box, and let it go when she went out. Quick to see that Hilary was interested in this, as well he might be, she told him that she could not bear to see cats hungry or lost dogs, especially lost dogs, and she described to him one that she had seen. She had not liked to tell a policeman; they stared so hard. Those words were of strange omen, and Hilary turned his head away. The little model, perceiving that she had made an effect of some sort, tried to deepen it. She had heard they did all sorts of things to people – but, seeing at once from Hilary’s face that she was not improving her effect, she broke off suddenly, and hastily began to tell him of her breakfast, of how comfortable she was now she had got her clothes; how she liked her room; how old Mr. Creed was very funny, never taking any notice of her when he met her in the morning. Then followed a minute account of where she had been trying to get work; of an engagement promised; Mr. Lennard, too, still wanted her to pose to him. At this she gashed a look at Hilary, then cast down her eyes. She could get plenty of work if she began that way. But she hadn’t, because he had told her not, and, of course, she didn’t want to; she liked coming to Mr. Stone so much. And she got on very well, and she liked London, and she liked the shops. She mentioned neither Hughs nor Mrs. Hughs. In all this rigmarole, told with such obvious purpose, stolidity was strangely mingled with almost cunning quickness to see the effect made; but the dog-like devotion was never quite out of her eyes when they were fixed on Hilary.
This look got through the weakest places in what little armour Nature had bestowed on him. It touched one of the least conceited and most amiable of men profoundly. He felt it an honour that anything so young as this should regard him in that way. He had always tried to keep out of his mind that which might have given him the key to her special feeling for himself – those words of the painter of still life: “She’s got a story of some sort.” But it flashed across him suddenly like an inspiration: If her story were the simplest of all stories – the direct, rather brutal, love affair of a village boy and girl – would not she, naturally given to surrender, be forced this time to the very antithesis of that young animal amour which had brought on her such, sharp consequences?
But, wherever her devotion came from, it seemed to Hilary the grossest violation of the feelings of a gentleman to treat it ungratefully. Yet it was as if for the purpose of saying, “You are a nuisance to me, or worse!” that he had asked her to his study. Her presence had hitherto chiefly roused in him the half-amused, half-tender feelings of one who strokes a foal or calf, watching its soft uncouthness; now, about to say good-bye to her, there was the question of whether that was the only feeling.
Miranda, stealing out between her master and his visitor, growled.
The little model, who was stroking a china ash-tray with her ungloved, inky fingers, muttered, with a smile, half pathetic, half cynical: “She doesn’t like me! She knows I don’t belong here. She hates me to come. She’s jealous!”
Hilary said abruptly:
“Tell me! Have you made any friends since you’ve been in London?”
The girl flashed a look at him that said:
‘Could I make you jealous?’
Then, as though guilty of afar too daring thought, drooped her head, and answered:
“No.”
“Not one?”
The little model repeated almost passionately: “No. I don’t want any friends; I only want to be let alone.”
Hilary began speaking rapidly.
“But these Hughs have not left you alone. I told you, I thought you ought to move; I’ve taken another room for you quite away from them. Leave your furniture with a week’s rent, and take your trunk quietly away to-morrow in a cab without saying a word to anyone. This is the new address, and here’s the money for your expenses. They’re dangerous for you, those people.”
The little model muttered desperately: “But I don’t care what they do!”
Hilary went on: “Listen! You mustn’t come here again, or the man will trace you. We will take care you have what’s necessary till you can get other work.”
The little model looked up at him without a word. Now that the thin link which bound her to some sort of household gods had snapped, all the patience and submission bred in her by village life, by the hard facts of her story, and by these last months in London, served her well enough. She made no fuss. Hilary saw a tear roll down her cheek.
He turned his head away, and said: “Don’t cry, my child!”
Quite obediently the little model swallowed the tear. A thought seemed to strike her:
“But I could see you, Mr. Dallison, couldn’t I, sometimes?”
Seeing from his face that this was not in the programme, she stood silent again, looking up at him.
It was a little difficult for Hilary to say: “I can’t see you because my wife is jealous!” It was cruel to tell her: “I don’t want to see you!” besides, it was not true.
“You’ll soon be making friends,” he said at last, “and you can always write to me”; and with a queer smile he added: “You’re only just beginning life; you mustn’t take these things to heart; you’ll find plenty of people better able to advise and help you than ever I shall be!”
The little model answered this by seizing his hand with both of hers. She dropped it again at once, as if guilty of presumption, and stood with her head bent. Hilary, looking down on the little hat which, by his special wish, contained no feathers, felt a lump rise in his throat.
“It’s funny,” he said; “I don’t know your Christian name.”
“Ivy,” muttered the little model.
“Ivy! Well, I’ll write to you. But you must promise me to do exactly as I said.”
The girl looked up; her face was almost ugly – like a child’s in whom a storm of feeling is repressed.
“Promise!” repeated Hilary.
With a bitter droop of her lower lip, she nodded, and suddenly put her hand to her heart. That action, of which she was clearly unconscious, so naively, so almost automatically was it done, nearly put an end to Hilary’s determination.
“Now you must go,” he said.
The little model choked, grew very red, and then quite white.
“Aren’t I even to say good-bye to Mr. Stone?”
Hilary shook his head.
“He’ll miss me,” she said desperately. “He will. I know he will!”
“So shall I,” said Hilary. “We can’t help that.”
The little model drew herself up to her full height; her breast heaved beneath the clothes which had made her Hilary’s. She was very like “The Shadow” at that moment, as though whatever Hilary might do there she would be – a little ghost, the spirit of the helpless submerged world, for ever haunting with its dumb appeal the minds of men.
“Give me your hand,” said Hilary.
The little model put out her not too white, small hand. It was soft, clinging: and as hot as fire.
“Good-bye, my dear, and bless you!”
The little model gave him a look with who-knows-what of reproach in it, and, faithful to her training, went submissively away.
Hilary did not look after her, but, standing by the lofty mantelpiece above the ashes of the fire, rested his forehead on his arm. Not even a fly’s buzzing broke the stillness. There was sound for all that-not of distant music, but of blood beating in his ears and temples.
CHAPTER XXIII
THE “BOOK OF UNIVERSAL BROTHERHOOD”
It is fitting that a few words should be said about the writer of the “Book of Universal Brotherhood.”
Sylvanus Stone, having graduated very highly at the London University, had been appointed at an early age lecturer to more than one Public Institution. He had soon received the professorial robes due to a man of his profound learning in the natural sciences, and from that time till he was seventy his life had flowed on in one continual round of lectures, addresses, disquisitions, and arguments on the subjects in which he was a specialist. At the age of seventy, long after his wife’s death and the marriages of his three children, he had for some time been living by himself, when a very serious illness – the result of liberties taken with an iron constitution by a single mind – prostrated him.
During the long convalescence following this illness the power of contemplation, which the Professor had up to then given to natural science, began to fix itself on life at large. But the mind which had made of natural science an idea, a passion, was not content with vague reflections on life. Slowly, subtly, with irresistible centrifugal force – with a force which perhaps it would not have acquired but for that illness – the idea, the passion of Universal Brotherhood had sucked into itself all his errant wonderings on the riddle of existence. The single mind of this old man, divorced by illness from his previous existence, pensioned and permanently shelved, began to worship a new star, that with every week and month and year grew brighter, till all other stars had lost their glimmer and died out.
At the age of seventy-four he had begun his book. Under the spell of his subject and of advancing age, his extreme inattention to passing matters became rapidly accentuated. His figure had become almost too publicly conspicuous before Bianca, finding him one day seated on the roof of his lonely little top-story flat, the better to contemplate his darling Universe, had inveigled him home with her, and installed him in a room in her own house. After the first day or two he had not noticed any change to speak of.
His habits in his new home were soon formed, and once formed, they varied not at all; for he admitted into his life nothing which took him from the writing of his book.
On the afternoon following Hilary’s dismissal of the little model, being disappointed of his amanuensis, Mr. Stone had waited for an hour, reading his pages over and over to himself. He had then done his exercises. At the usual time for tea he had sat down, and, with his cup and brown bread-and-butter alternately at his lips, had looked long and fixedly at the place where the girl was wont to sit. Having finished, he left the room and went about the house. He found no one but Miranda, who, seated in the passage leading to the studio, was trying to keep one eye on the absence of her master and the other on the absence of her mistress. She joined Mr. Stone, maintaining a respect-compelling interval behind him when he went before, and before him when he went behind. When they had finished hunting, Mr. Stone went down to the garden gate. Here Bianca found him presently motionless, without a hat, in the full sun, craning his white head in the direction from which he knew the little model habitually came. The mistress of the house was herself returning from her annual visit to the Royal Academy, where she still went, as dogs, from some perverted sense, will go and sniff round other dogs to whom they have long taken a dislike. A loose-hanging veil depended from her mushroom-shaped and coloured hat. Her eyes were brightened by her visit. Mr. Stone soon seemed to take in who she was, and stood regarding her a minute without speaking. His attitude towards his daughters was rather like that of an old drake towards two swans whom he has inadvertently begotten – there was inquiry in it, disapproval, admiration, and faint surprise.
“Why has she not come?” he said.
Bianca winced behind her veil. “Have you asked Hilary?”
“I cannot find him,” answered Mr. Stone. Something about his patient stooping figure and white head, on which the sunlight was falling, made Bianca slip her hand through his arm.
“Come in, Dad. I’ll do your copying.”
Mr. Stone looked at her intently, and shook his head.
“It would be against my principles; I cannot take an unpaid service. But if you would come, my dear, I should like to read to you. It is stimulating.”
At that request Bianca’s eyes grew dim. Pressing Mr. Stone’s shaggy arm against her breast, she moved with him towards the house.
“I think I may have written something that will interest you,” Mr. Stone said, as they went along.
“I am sure you have,” Bianca murmured.
“It is universal,” said Mr. Stone; “it concerns birth. Sit at the table. I will begin, as usual, where I left off yesterday.”
Bianca took the little model’s seat, resting her chin on her hand, as motionless as any of the statues she had just been viewing. It almost seemed as if Mr. Stone were feeling nervous. He twice arranged his papers; cleared his throat; then, lifting a sheet suddenly, took three steps, turned his back on her, and began to read.
“‘In that slow, incessant change of form to form, called Life, men, made spasmodic by perpetual action, had seized on a certain moment, no more intrinsically notable than any other moment, and had called it Birth. This habit of honouring one single instant of the universal process to the disadvantage of all the other instants had done more, perhaps, than anything to obfuscate the crystal clearness of the fundamental flux. As well might such as watch the process of the green, unfolding earth, emerging from the brumous arms of winter, isolate a single day and call it Spring. In the tides of rhythm by which the change of form to form was governed'” – Mr. Stone’s voice, which had till then been but a thin, husky murmur, gradually grew louder and louder, as though he were addressing a great concourse – “'the golden universal haze in which men should have flown like bright wing-beats round the sun gave place to the parasitic halo which every man derived from the glorifying of his own nativity. To this primary mistake could be traced his intensely personal philosophy. Slowly but surely there had dried up in his heart the wish to be his brother.'”
He stopped reading suddenly.
“I see him coming in,” he said.
The next minute the door opened, and Hilary entered.
“She has not come,” said Mr. Stone; and Bianca murmured:
“We miss her!”
“Her eyes,” said Mr. Stone, “have a peculiar look; they help me to see into the future. I have noticed the same look in the eyes of female dogs.”
With a little laugh, Bianca murmured again:
“That is good!”
“There is one virtue in dogs,” said Hilary, “which human beings lack – they are incapable of mockery.”
But Bianca’s lips, parted, indrawn, seemed saying: ‘You ask too much! I no longer attract you. Am I to sympathise in the attraction this common little girl has for you?’
Mr. Stone’s gaze was fixed intently on the wall.
“The dog,” he said, “has lost much of its primordial character.”
And, moving to his desk, he took up his quill pen.
Hilary and Bianca made no sound, nor did they look at one another; and in this silence, so much more full of meaning than any talk, the scratching of the quill went on. Mr. Stone put it down at last, and, seeing two persons in the room, read:
“‘Looking back at those days when the doctrine of evolution had reached its pinnacle, one sees how the human mind, by its habit of continual crystallisations, had destroyed all the meaning of the process. Witness, for example, that sterile phenomenon, the pagoda of ‘caste'! Like this Chinese building, so was Society then formed. Men were living there in layers, as divided from each other, class from class – '” He took up the quill, and again began to write.
“You understand, I suppose,” said Hilary in a low voice, “that she has been told not to come?”
Bianca moved her shoulders.
With a most unwonted look of anger, he added:
“Is it within the scope of your generosity to credit me with the desire to meet your wishes?”
Bianca’s answer was a laugh so strangely hard, so cruelly bitter, that Hilary involuntarily turned, as though to retrieve the sound before it reached the old man’s ears.
Mr. Stone had laid down his pen. “I shall write no more to-day,” he said; “I have lost my feeling – I am not myself.” He spoke in a voice unlike his own.
Very tired and worn his old figure looked; as some lean horse, whose sun has set, stands with drooped head, the hollows in his neck showing under his straggling mane. And suddenly, evidently quite oblivious that he had any audience, he spoke:
“O Great Universe, I am an old man of a faint spirit, with no singleness of purpose. Help me to write on – help me to write a book such as the world has never seen!”
A dead silence followed that strange prayer; then Bianca, with tears rolling down her face, got up and rushed out of the room.
Mr. Stone came to himself. His mute, white face had suddenly grown scared and pink. He looked at Hilary.
“I fear that I forgot myself. Have I said anything peculiar?”
Not feeling certain of his voice, Hilary shook his head, and he, too, moved towards the door.