Close Your Eyes: A gripping psychological thriller with a killer twist!

Tekst
0
Recenzje
Książka nie jest dostępna w twoim regionie
Oznacz jako przeczytane
Czcionka:Mniejsze АаWiększe Aa

Chapter 3

Daniel

Stamford

29th December 2017, 3.41 p.m.

‘All strapped in tightly.’

‘Yes, Daddy.’

‘Great, shall we take you home, little man?’

Getting into the driver’s seat I looked at Thomas through the rear-view mirror, watching him smile at the other children who were now playing on the swings he had been. Content, I began the ten-minute drive back to Rachael’s house, the sound of the radio playing quietly above the hum of the car. I wanted to talk about Katie, it took me a few minutes to work out how. If I appeared too nonchalant he might think his view, or my feelings, didn’t matter, and they did, very much. If I went in too gung-ho it might freak him out. I took a deep breath.

‘Thomas?’

I waited for a response, one that was not forthcoming, as Thomas was so wrapped up in people-watching through the car window. So, I turned down the radio, which lifted him from his trance.

‘Thomas, I want to talk to you about Katie.’

‘What about her?’

‘Did you enjoy spending time alone with her today?’

‘Yes, she’s great.’

‘What else do you think about her?’

‘What do you mean, Daddy?’

Pausing for a moment I thought about the best way to answer.

‘I mean, well …’

‘What do you think about her, Daddy?’

Thomas’s question caught me off guard and knowing I needed to be honest I pulled over into a layby, put on the handbrake and turned to be eye to eye with my son.

‘I care about her a lot.’

‘You mean you love her?’

‘How would you feel if I did?’

‘Well, Mummy loves Sean.’

‘She does love Sean, very much.’

‘Then you should love Katie.’

‘Should I?’

‘Yes, Daddy. I don’t like thinking of you on your own when Mummy has Sean’

‘Thomas, you don’t ever have to worry about me, okay? I’m fine.’

I looked into his big green eyes. I could feel him really caring. He was such a bright, bright boy.

‘I’m more than fine,’ I said. ‘Are you really okay with the idea of Katie and me?’

‘Of course, Daddy. Can we go home now? I’m getting hungry’.’

I laughed. ‘Before we do, can I ask you a really big question, one I want you to answer as honestly as you can. And don’t worry about what I might feel, this question is about how you feel …’

‘Daddy, if you love her, you should marry her.’

I smiled at my wonderful, intelligent boy, who in that moment looked at me with a wisdom beyond his years. I could feel myself welling up with pride.

‘You’re a brilliant boy, you know that, right?’

‘Uh-huh, can we go now?’

‘Of course, darling. Let’s get you home.’

Turning to face the road again I started the car, turned the radio back up, and drove the rest of the way to Rachael’s in silence, like nothing had happened. When we arrived, Thomas unfastened his seatbelt, jumped out of the car and ran to his front door, ringing the bell repeatedly until Sean answered. Following behind with his coat, I shook Sean’s hand.

‘Hello, mate. Good week off?’

‘Yes thanks, Sean. Went far too quickly though.’

‘I hear that.’

Thomas ran down the hallway into the kitchen, shouting to the entire house. ‘Daddy is going to get married.’

‘Really?’ said Sean, trying to hide his surprise.

‘I haven’t asked her yet, just wanted to know how Thomas felt.’

‘Well, he seems fine with it. Congratulations in advance,’ he said, patting me on the shoulder. ‘Come in, mate. Rach would love to hear.’

I chuckled to myself. I hadn’t even picked up the ring I’d been eying up – a single stone in a clasp that allowed you to see the diamond from all angles.

‘Sure. As long as I’m not interrupting.’

‘Of course not.’

Stepping into the house I had to take off my coat; the central heating was on high as Rachael always liked. Sean shut the door and gestured for me to walk to the kitchen. As I stepped into the kitchen Rachael stood back from her long embrace with our boy and Thomas walked to the fridge, opened it and buried his head in there to search out something to eat. He emerged with a Frube yogurt, held it in the air to wait for the nod to say he could have it before running into the living room where Sean had gone, no doubt to give me and Rachael a moment. I ruffled Thomas’s hair as he passed me. Once we were alone, I leant on the counter and smiled at Rachael. She looked tired. I knew her well enough to know what that meant.

‘Tough time at work?’

She laughed and lowered her head. ‘Am I that easy to read?’

I didn’t say anything but waited. Rachael wasn’t one to be pushed into talking. If she wanted to say, she’d say. If not, I’d not ask. A few seconds was usually the timeframe for us to either move on or discuss it further.

‘Just a patient of mine. Terminal. He blamed me for him dying today.’

‘He’s just …’

‘I know, I know, he’s angry. He’s afraid. I know he didn’t mean it. But it’s still hard to hear.’

‘I bet.’

‘I’m sure he will be calmer tomorrow. He’ll probably apologize and then we can focus on making sure his transition is as dignified as possible.’

‘I don’t know how you do it.’

‘Sometimes I don’t know either. Speaking of which; how is Katie’s dad?’

‘No change really.’

‘Is she okay?’

‘I think she’s coming to terms with it now. I guess that’s all anyone can do right?’

‘Yes. Anyway, Thomas has just told me. I hear congratulations are in order?’

I couldn’t help but laugh and feel embarrassed. I hadn’t planned it enough in my head for it to be said out loud. I needed to know what Thomas felt before I let myself go that far. She read my mind. She often did.

‘He’s clearly happy about it.’

‘It seems so.’

‘So, when?’

‘I haven’t worked that out yet, soon. Are you all right with this?’

‘Of course. I’m really happy, Daniel. You deserve someone lovely.’

Rachael stepped towards me and gave me a hug, warm and safe. A hug that had changed in context, but never affection.

‘Thanks, Rach. Are you all good though?’

‘Yeah, I’m fine. Like I said, tomorrow is another day.’

‘It is indeed. Well, I’d better be off.’

‘I’ll see you out.’

Leaving the kitchen, Rachael followed. I leant into the living room where Thomas sat watching the start of Pixar’s Planes with Sean.

‘Bye, Sean.’

‘See you soon, Daniel. Congratulations again, you know, for when it happens.’

‘Thanks, mate. Bye, Thomas.’

‘Bye, Daddy,’ he said, unable to take his eyes off the screen.

‘Thomas, come and give your daddy a hug,’ said Rachael from the doorway.

‘Okay.’ He got up and wrapped himself in my arms. His hugs being the best part of any day.

‘I love you, little man.’

‘Love you too, Daddy.’

Putting on my coat I opened the door and turned back to Rachael, who crossed her arms as the cold air flooded in.

‘I mean it, Daniel. I’m really happy for you.’

‘Thanks, Rachael, it means a lot.’

‘She’s lovely. You two are really good together.’

‘Can I call later, to say goodnight to him?’

‘Of course you can. Are you two still coming on Sunday?’

‘Yep, we’re looking forward to it. Is there anything you want us to bring?’

‘A bottle of wine wouldn’t go amiss.’

‘That goes without saying.’

‘Then no, just you and Katie. Sean is doing dinner. God help us!’

‘I heard that!’ Sean shouted from the lounge, feigning hurt.

‘I’m in trouble now!’

‘Well, worst case, I’ll order us a takeaway.’

‘I heard that too, Dan! Have a little faith you two. I’m like Gordon Ramsay.’

‘I don’t doubt it,’ I shouted into the lounge.

‘Do you and Katie want to come over for about eight? If he hasn’t burnt the house down, of course,’ she said in a conspiring whisper, but still loud enough for Sean to call back that we were both so charming.

‘Eight sounds perfect. And not a word to Katie about … you know.’

‘Of course. When are you going to pop the question?’

‘Some time in the new year.’

‘I’m really happy for you, Dan.’

‘Thanks. See you Sunday,’ I said before calling out, ‘Bye, Sean. Bye, Thomas.

‘See you, mate.’

‘Bye, Daddy.’

I kissed Rachael on the cheek and walked back to my car, shielding my eyes as the setting sun blinded me and gave everything a soft orange glow. As I drove away, Thomas waving at me from the window, I let myself picture the moment I got down on one knee, imagining the look on Katie’s face. I couldn’t wait. 2018 was going to be a good year for us, for all of us. I could feel it.

Chapter 4

Daniel

Stamford

31st December 2017, 7.44 p.m.

I sat on my bed fully dressed, waiting for Katie, aimlessly scrolling through the posts on my Facebook newsfeed and trying my best not to think about the dream that had startled me awake early this morning.

It was the same as usual. I was in a car. But I don’t know what kind, or where I was. It was dark. Bright lights of a large van or lorry blinded me, and then I was rolling over and over and over until I stopped upside down. Blood dripped from my head, pooling onto the sunroof. Someone was shouting. I tried to move but couldn’t; I was trapped. Panic began to bubble up in my throat as I fought against the constraints of the seatbelt. No matter how hard I tried to get out, I couldn’t. Just as I thought any hope of me getting out was gone, just as I had believed that I would die in the car, a hand reached in and dragged me out. I couldn’t see the person. They didn’t have a face, it was just a blur.

 

They pulled me far enough away from the car that I would be safe, talking to me, but I can never remember what they said. The car goes up in flames and I can feel the heat on my face, it is singeing the hairs on my arms as I’m still that bit too close. The person looks at me and tells me to run.

That was what usually happened in the dream, give or take. Sometimes I climbed out of the wreck. Sometimes I was the one in the van or lorry smashing into the car. But I was always bleeding, and someone was always talking to me in sentences I couldn’t process, except for that one word – ‘run’. Their voice sounded like they were screaming underwater. Last night’s had something new though – something I hadn’t dreamt before – but it was just on the edge of whatever held on to dreams and stopped them coming forward with clarity. I could almost touch it. However, try as I might, I couldn’t quite touch it. I’d been wracking my brain all day to work out what the new thing was, frustrated with myself for not being able to see it.

I desperately wanted to talk to Will about it. To have his professional mind analyse what I had seen, but it was New Year’s Eve and I couldn’t call him, it would be selfish. So instead, I clutched my hand to my phone to stop it from shaking.

My Facebook timeline was full of comments about how hard or wonderful or heart-breaking the year had been, and how 2018 was a fresh start. As clichéd as that was, I felt it too. At some point early into 2018 I was going to ask my girlfriend, who was meticulously applying her eyeliner, to be my bride. We would then probably plan our wedding and honeymoon. Maybe even begin talking about children. A brother or sister for Thomas. Life can change in a heartbeat, so the prospect of an entire year and what change would come was almost too exciting to digest.

‘I’m nearly done,’ Katie called out as she moved on to applying mascara.

‘No rush, darling, we’ve still got time,’ I replied, despite it being close to eight. She smiled at me through the wardrobe mirror and continued applying. I watched her in the glass. I loved the way she pouted whilst she stroked the mascara brush delicately upwards. And how she needed to lean back from the mirror after to look at her handiwork because she refused to wear glasses despite being slightly long-sighted. She caught me looking and I saw her cheeks blush a little, a smile spreading on her face.

‘What?’

‘Nothing, darling. I just like looking at you.’

‘You’re hopeless.’

She was right, I was hopeless and I didn’t care. Getting up I took the necklace that she was struggling to clasp under her hair and clipped it together. A delicate silver chain with a pearl attached. A gift from her father. Once it was secured I stepped closer and held her shoulder, placing a kiss on the space between her neck and collarbone. She smiled, but I could see a sadness in her eyes as she looked at the pearl.

‘We can get up early tomorrow and go see him a day early if you want? I don’t have to drink tonight.’

‘No, it’s okay. Dad isn’t good in the mornings anymore.’

‘If you change your mind, I’m happy to stay on the soft drinks.’

‘Thank you, Dan, but it’s fine.’

‘Do you want to try and ring him?’

‘He’ll be asleep now. I’m sure he doesn’t really know what day it is today. If I call and he is by chance awake, it will remind him. I think I’d rather he wasn’t aware. Does that make sense?’

‘Yes, it does.’

I understood. If her father was aware that it was the start of a new year, he would also be aware it was likely, almost certain in fact, his last on this earth. His cancerous body in its last stages of fighting the disease, a fight he was always going to lose. And although he never said it out loud, with each visit – the ones where his medication was just enough to manage his pain but not so much that he was completely out of it – I could see that he wanted it to be over. So did Katie who, like her father, wouldn’t ever say. It killed me to see her quietly hurting as she fixated on the pearl. But there was nothing anyone could do. It was life, it begun, it ended and all we could do was make sure we had enough wonderful little bubbles floating with us when it was our time to pass.

Turning Katie around, I looked into her deep-brown eyes and watched as her pain lifted.

‘Are you all right?’

‘Yeah, I’m fine, thank you,’ she said before leaning in and kissing me softly. ‘How do I look?’

‘Perfect.’

She smiled and kissed me once more, this time less softly. A smacker landing hard on my lips before she turned to check her make-up one last time. ‘Shall we go?’

‘We could be a little late?’ I said, sliding my hands down her shoulders and onto her hips, pulling her closer.

‘And why would we be late when we are both ready?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know … But I can think of a reason,’ I replied with a cheeky wink.

‘Has that ever worked for you?’ she laughed, wrapping her arms around my neck.

‘I’m about to find out.’

I kissed her neck just under her left ear, the small patch of skin where I knew she loved to be kissed. With my lips placed there I listened as her breathing became heavier and she placed her hands on mine, moving them across her stomach, resting them just under her belly button. Turning her to face me, I kissed her lips, at first softy then, as she pressed herself into me, with more intent. Lifting up her dress I placed my hand back on her hip, my thumb sliding under the elastic of her underwear and, lowering myself, I slid them down her thighs before placing a kiss close to where I could feel heat. She pulled me back up and pushed me onto the bed, undoing and pulling down my jeans before climbing on top of me.

‘We are going to be so late, Dan.’

‘Not that late.’

‘Oh, I see.’

‘In fact, probably only a few minutes.’

‘A few minutes, wow, you know how to spoil a girl.’ She laughed, smiling as she leant in and bit my lip. ‘You’d better not smudge my make-up.’

Chapter 5

Daniel

Stamford

31st December 2017, 10.17 p.m.

Even now, I’m shocked at how natural it feels to be with Rachael and Sean. The conversation never faltered as we talked about everything grown-ups could with a six-year-old buzzing around them. In the background Alexa, Sean’s Amazon speaker, played song after song, most of which I hadn’t heard in a long time and some being completely new to me despite Sean telling me they were hits back in the day. We had already eaten together, Sean’s cooking actually surprising Rachael and I. Probably Katie too, but she was being polite by suggesting she trusted his chef’s abilities. Rachael announced he could start cooking more often and I saw him smile proudly.

‘I didn’t doubt you for a second,’ Katie said when Rachael and I expressed our surprise that the food was edible.

‘Thanks, Katie. This is why we’re friends.’

After we had eaten I played on the floor with Thomas, building a Scalextric track that covered most of the lounge. Sean helped move the furniture to create more space and to make tunnels from sofa cushions until, between the three of us, we had entirely turned the room upside down.

Katie and Rachael chatted as we played. I couldn’t hear their conversation clearly, but I heard Katie telling Rachael about her father. Rachael, being a nurse for as long as she had been, spoke comforting words about what the staff will be doing for him in his final months. Most of the time I wanted to be by Katie’s side when she was talking about her dad to give her a shoulder, comfort. But I knew in this instance to let them chat and so focused on Thomas. Rachael knew what she was talking about and I liked that Katie felt comfortable enough to talk about it with her.

With the track complete and the cars placed on the start grid we flipped a coin to see who would race against Thomas first. Sean called heads, and heads it was, so I moved to let them begin the miniature Formula One course of our design. As I went to pocket the £2 coin, Thomas asked for me to do the trick he always loved seeing.

‘Coin trick?’ asked Sean curiously.

‘Daddy can make a coin vanish. He’s a magician.’ He said the last part in a whisper.

‘Now then, I would also like to see that.’

‘Really?’

‘Sure, who doesn’t love a bit of magic?’

Standing, I rolled up my shirt sleeves a little, so they were resting on my forearms, and in my best magician voice I declared I would make the coin in my hand vanish before their very eyes. Thomas started giggling in delight and Sean made a ‘woooo’ noise, indulging in my silliness for Thomas.

‘As you can see, I have this £2 coin. Would anyone in the audience like to hold it to make sure it’s real?’

‘I would!’ Thomas said, jumping to his feet, knowing what was to come. ‘It’s real,’ he continued before handing it to Sean who also confirmed the coin was, in fact, real. Taking the coin back I pushed my sleeves up over my elbows and, holding the coin tightly in my grasp, I shook my hand and asked Thomas to blow on it before rubbing my fingers into my palm, dissolving the coin. Both Thomas and Sean applauded and I took a mock bow like I was on the stage at the Royal Variety before sitting back on the floor beside them.

‘Where is it? Where is it?’ Thomas begged, looking in his hair, behind his ear and in his socks.

‘It’s gone, Thomas, it’s gone forever,’ I said mystically.

‘No, it always comes back,’ he said, searching through Sean’s hair also.

‘Okay, how did you do that?’ Sean asked and, responding in my best magician voice again, I told him a master never reveals his secrets. Thomas was still frantically searching both himself and Sean for the coin. It was time for the finale. Looking up I made a face as if about to sneeze, and said as much, drawing their attention. As I did I shot the coin back into my hand as if I had just sneezed it from my nose. Thomas erupted in laughter and Sean gave me a fresh clap for my showmanship. I handed Thomas the coin, telling him he could put it in his money box.

‘This is the only reason he indulges my magic now. Somehow, I do all the work and Thomas keeps all the money,’ I said, making Sean chuckle. ‘Right, now that’s over, let’s see you two race so I can defeat the winner.’

‘No way, Daddy. I’m like Lewis Hamilton.’

‘Oh really, we’ll see about that,’ declared Sean, positioning himself to begin. As the race began and Thomas shot into a commanding lead, Sean looked towards me.

‘Okay. You have to tell me. How did you do that trick?’

‘You want me to explain it?’

‘Yes, no. Just where did you learn how to do it?’

‘I have no idea. I’ve just always known it. Recovering from my accident I had a lot of time to kill, and was always bored. I discovered I was pretty good with my hands and then when I knew Thomas was on the way I decided to learn a few tricks, so went to our friend YouTube. I picked it up so easily that I guess it’s something I did before.’

‘Well, handy to have.’

‘They are good for parties.’

Thomas crossed the finish line in a triumphant first place and Sean and I took turns to race Thomas for another half-hour, but Thomas proceeded to beat both us adults, despite us actually trying.

Thomas had tried to stay up with us to see the fireworks, but his little body gave in just after eleven. Rachael and I carried him to bed, like we used to when he was a baby. We changed him into his pyjamas, tucked him in and, because he had stirred, I sat on the floor beside his bed and read him a story as Rachael stroked his back until we watched him close his eyes. We did it all without needing to talk, our instincts guiding us seamlessly. Once he was asleep we both kissed him on the head and went back down to join Sean and Katie who were mid-conversation as they tidied the carnage we had created in the living room. Katie was telling Sean a funny story about how much of a tomboy she was as a kid. Sean was sitting with tears of laughter in his eyes as she talked about the day she was locked in an outside bin cupboard after getting in a fight with Cary Gorgon, the local bully from her childhood. I had heard the story before, but couldn’t help but join in with Sean’s laughter when she spoke of how her father found her, fingers poking out of the ventilation holes in the cupboard door, nose bleeding.

 

Once the lounge was tidy we went into the kitchen diner and Sean opened a fresh bottle of red and topped up mine and Katie’s glasses before filling his. Rachael’s glass was still full. I felt the energy shift in the room as he exchanged a glance with her. The air around them became charged with anticipation.

‘There is something we want to share with you two,’ he said, his tone formal and nervous.

‘Is everything all right?’ I asked, looking first to him then to her.

‘2018 is going to be a busy one for us,’ she said, a smile drawing across her face. ‘We’re having a baby!’

Katie squealed in delight and leapt up, giving Rachael a hug. I too rose to my feet, first offering a handshake to Sean that turned into a hug. We then swapped, and I told Rachael I was truly very happy for her.

‘How long?’ Katie asked.

‘It’s still early days, about ten weeks. We haven’t told anyone yet as we are waiting for our twelve-week scan, but we had to share it with you. Once we’ve had the scan we’re going to tell Thomas.’

‘I’m so happy for you both,’ Katie said again hugging Rachael. I raised my glass and toasted to the start of the next chapter. Which was echoed by Rachael, Sean and Katie.

As the clock ticked closer and closer to the new year we talked about everything and nothing at all, the discussion always coming back to Sean and Rachael’s news about their baby, until just before midnight. Rachael opened the back door which led to their conservatory and turned the TV on to BBC1 which was showing a live performance of a disco band called Chic. I hadn’t heard of them, but they were fantastic to watch at a New Year’s Eve party.

Outside, over the Stamford night sky, the fireworks had already started with a display coming from Burghley House, the sixteenth-century country house that famously hosted the Burghley horse trials. From where we were we could watch both the live fireworks above our heads and the ones coming from central London. As the countdown began, the fireworks outside intensified and grabbing hold of Katie, I held her as we counted backwards from ten.

We brought in the new year stood out in the cold garden watching the night sky light up from the neighbours setting off their own fireworks and the official ones happening down the road, our faces illuminated with the reflection of the bright colours. I could smell the potassium and gunpowder on the air from the fireworks, a familiar smell that I secretly liked. Somehow it reminded me of being younger.

None of us wanted to speak. The moment felt so real, so easy. The four of us together should be a complicated existence but it was effortless.

Then a song came on, wafting through the patio doors, reaching us outside. It was one of the many being played by Sean’s new toy. This was one I didn’t think I knew, but as the guitar riff started, something washed over me. The gunpowder smell intensified, as did the explosions of fireworks. I saw myself high off the ground looking down. The wind whipped around me as fireworks lit the sky above and I was filled with a sense of panic, a fear of being caught. I remember the feeling of adrenaline filling my body as I ran.

Then there were words painted on a road sign that shot in front of my face. I could read the letters but couldn’t make sense of the words; it wasn’t English. The sign vanished and I was on my knees, covered in soil, somewhere else. A crow cawed somewhere nearby. The sound of fast-moving water was around me. It vanished and then I was with my father. I could see his face. I knew it was him from the photos my mother had of us all on her mantelpiece. The man who was permanently absent both in my life and in my mind. He was so clear I felt I could reach out and touch the stubble on his cheek. I heard his voice. Gravelly and deep. He told me to wait where it all began. Wait for him to return. It was all coming at me in flashes, like a jigsaw I needed to put together. It was overwhelming and like nothing I had experienced before.

Katie touched my arm, shaking me from the images that were attacking my peaceful fog. As I focused back on the present Rachael and Sean were oblivious. Her head on his shoulder, both contained in their own bubble of happiness. No doubt both thinking about their baby.

‘Dan, are you okay?’ Katie looked at me, worry clouding her eyes. I released my grip on her arms, aware that it had tightened far more than I had intended it to.

‘Yes, yes I’m fine.’

‘You just saw a memory, didn’t you?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe.’

‘What happened?’

‘I’m not sure. It’s probably nothing.’

I reach for my wineglass take a sip, my hand shaking a little as I did.

‘Tell me anyway.’

‘Later, this night is about those two,’ I said gesturing to the soon-to-be parents.

‘Okay,’ she said, understanding. ‘Let’s talk about it tonight when we’re home. Promise?’

‘Of course.’

I pushed my troubled thoughts away and made myself continue with the evening. Once the firework display was over we made our way back inside and chatted for about an hour more before we could see Rachael getting tired. I went upstairs to give Thomas a kiss on his head and he mumbled dream-like words in his sleep that had no true form. We said our goodbyes, congratulating Rachael and Sean again and thanked them for a great night before we began our fifteen-minute walk home through the town centre that was full of happy revellers, most of them wishing us a happy new year. We left High Street and turned onto Maiden Lane that cut through to Blackfriars Street where St George’s Church stood, uplit and majestic. The quiet lane offered a chance for us to talk uninterrupted so I told Katie what I saw when the song came on.

‘I’ve not seen anything so vivid before. Usually it’s just a flash of one thing but I saw so many different things. I heard my father. I’m sure of it. It was his voice. And those words. I can remember them, but I have no idea what they mean.’

I spelt out the letters that I could still see in my mind and Katie struggled to understand them too. The arrangement wasn’t something either of us knew.

‘Try Google,’ she suggested. I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t thought of that already. Punching the letters in there was an immediate hit. It stopped me in my tracks.

‘Dan, what is it?’

‘France,’ I said, my confusion clear in my voice.

‘Sorry?’

‘Those words, it’s the name of a place in France.’

To koniec darmowego fragmentu. Czy chcesz czytać dalej?