Special Deliveries: Wanted: A Mother For His Baby: The Nanny Trap / The Baby Deal / Her Real Family Christmas

Where the hell had that come from?

“Blake? What do you want me to tell Don?” His assistant’s question made Blake realize he had no idea what she was talking about.

“I have to call you back.” He hung up on her as the heat surging through his veins showed no signs of abating.

The feeling was as unwelcome as it was unexpected. Not once had he felt the slightest hint of lust toward the young woman while she’d acted as Drew’s surrogate. He’d been married, committed to his wife, and it wasn’t in his nature to cheat either physically or mentally. Bella had been for all intents and purposes an employee. They’d been friends. Nothing more.

But his marriage vows no longer stood between them and the attraction was an unexpected complication. He strode toward the car, his nerve endings tingling as he drew within touching distance of Bella.

“He’s all secure.” She backed away from the car, her hands clasped before her. Did she sense the riotous impulses that had surged to life in him, or was she just eager to get away from him and his request?

“Thank you.” He gripped the car door, anchoring himself against the compulsion to brush a strand of hair off her cheek. “Having you take care of him this summer will be good for both of us.”

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea, Blake.”

Although she had refused his offer, Blake heard less conviction in her voice this time and sensed that Drew had already charmed her into agreeing to join them in the Hamptons.

“It’s a wonderful idea. Take the night and think it over.” He blasted her with his most engaging smile. “Do you still have my number?”

Lightning flashed in her eyes. The color of much-washed denim. They’d transfixed him from the start.

“Yes,” she retorted, her voice gruff.

“Good. If you don’t call me by nine tomorrow morning, I’ll be forced to track you down again.”

“Fine. I’ll think about it.” It wasn’t enthusiastic agreement, but it wasn’t a firm refusal either.

“Wonderful.”

Despite his need to get going or risk running late for a meeting, Blake’s gaze lingered on Bella until she entered St. Vincent’s. For the first time since Vicky had abandoned their marriage, he was ready to move his personal life forward. Seeing Bella again reminded him how satisfying his situation had been a year ago. He’d been happily married and anticipating the birth of his son. And then Vicky had left and he was back to feeling incomplete. These past few months he’d known what would make his world whole again. All he needed was the right mother for Drew.

Today, he’d found her.

Two

Still shaken by her encounter with Blake and Drew, Bella let herself into the apartment she shared with Deidre and set a bag of groceries on the kitchen counter. The small two-bedroom was on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, not far from Central Park. Although the unit rented for a little over two thousand a month, because Bella’s room was barely big enough for her double bed, her share was only eight hundred. It was a nice deal for her.

The location was a quick walk across Central Park to the school where she and Deidre worked and the low cost enabled her to send money home to her parents and still retain enough for herself. To have some fun. To build a small nest egg. Whatever she wanted.

Financial security was a luxury she’d never known growing up, and the cash cushion she now enjoyed filled her with a sense of power and confidence.

“There you are.” Deidre appeared in the doorway to her room, her bright blond curls a wild tangle. She wore workout clothes and her skin had a light sheen of perspiration. “I wondered what happened to you. I’m almost done with my weights routine if you want to head to the park for some cardio.”

“A run sounds good.” Before stopping at the market to pick up the ingredients for dinner, Bella had taken the long way through the park, hoping the walk would clear her head. The exercise hadn’t been strenuous enough. She was no more decisive now than when Blake’s limo had pulled away from the curb.

Growing up with a houseful of siblings, the only way she got any peace was to disappear into the cornfields and make her way to the dirt path that led from their farm to the county road. In the winter the snow drifted in the fields, making it harder to escape her seven brothers and sisters, so she usually just sneaked into the barn and hid in the haymow.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Deidre said, reaching into the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water. “Did one of your students go into hysterics because it was the last day of school today and they couldn’t bear to be parted from you for a whole summer?”

“What?” Bella shook her head at Deidre’s question. “No. Nothing like that.”

“I’m surprised. You are everyone’s favorite teacher, you know.”

“That’s sweet, but we had no repeat of last year’s drama.” Warmed by her roommate’s praise, Bella smiled. “I made sure I prepared them better this year.”

“So what’s up?”

“Blake came by the school today.” Although she hadn’t told her roommate everything that had transpired regarding the surrogacy, Bella had appreciated Deidre’s sensible take on her mixed feelings about giving up Drew.

“Blake?” Deidre’s concern reflected in her expression and her voice. “How did that go?”

“A lot better than you would expect, given how angry he was with me last fall.”

“What did he want?”

“He wants me to be Drew’s nanny for the summer.”

Deidre looked appalled. “His nanny? He has a lot of nerve.”

Some of Bella’s anxiety eased in the face of her friend’s fierceness. It was nice to have someone to support her for a change instead of always being the one people leaned on. “He doesn’t have any idea how hard it was for me to give up Drew.”

The cozy apartment fell away as Bella got lost in the memory of holding Drew. Beneath his soft skin, he was strong like his father. As she’d buckled him into his car seat, she’d inhaled his wonderful baby scent, so like her siblings’ when they were little, and yet all his own. It had whipped her emotions into a muddled stew.

As much as she loved helping to raise her brothers and sisters, she’d lost her childhood to changing diapers, calming temper tantrums, making lunches and helping with homework. Her mother couldn’t have kept up on her own. Plus there was always something around the farm that demanded Stella McAndrews’s attention.

Bella knew she was a lot like her mother. A nurturer. Taking care of people was almost a compulsion. But it had left her little time or energy for herself and in the middle of her sophomore year in high school, she recognized the burning in her gut as resentment. She felt trapped by her siblings’ neediness and began questioning her parents’ decision to have eight children.

Soon, the farm, the small nearby town where they attended school, even her friends—their dreams no bigger than the rural community they lived in—began to feel like a prison she had to escape.

But to do so, she needed to make plans and promises. She would focus on doing well in high school so she could get into college. Majoring in education was a logical choice. She’d grown up teaching her siblings and felt a sense of accomplishment when they did well in school.

She loved college and with each step toward graduation her future looked brighter. Between her course load and work, her time was still not her own, but now she was calling the shots and making all the decisions. It was a heady feeling. One she wasn’t ready to surrender to a boyfriend. So she didn’t date much. If something looked like it was getting serious, she broke it off. She liked her freedom and wasn’t willing to give it up.

“He’s beautiful.” Bella summoned the energy for a weak smile. “Perfect.”

“Blake?” Deidre looked puzzled.

Bella shook her head. “Drew.”

“You saw him, too?”

“I did more than that.” Her throat seized. “I held him.”

Deidre made a disgusted noise. “So what was Blake’s reaction when you told him no about the nanny job?”

“What do you think?” Bella winced at Deidre’s disapproving scowl.

“He badgered you to say yes.”

“Badgered is a little strong. He just didn’t take no for an answer.”

“Are you sure you really told him no?”

“I did.”

“No hesitations?”

“Of course not.”

Bella and Deidre might have started as roommates a year and a half ago, but as the months passed, they’d become good friends. Bella liked living in New York City, but once in a while the distance between her and that crowded farmhouse in Iowa felt farther than a thousand miles. She appreciated having someone to come home to. To cook for and to share the couch with. A friend she could confide in over a bottle of wine. For all her longing to be free, Bella couldn’t deny she hated being alone.

“Not even when you picture that gorgeous mansion on the beach?” Deidre persisted.

Bella sighed in appreciation. “You know me too well. Okay, I’ll admit the thought of a summer in the Hamptons is very tempting.”

Deidre dug Bella’s running shoes from under the bed while she changed. “So what are you going to do?”

“I really should turn him down.”

“You really should. But are you sure that’s what you want to do?”

“I promised Lisa I’d help with her events this summer.”

“And you always keep your promises.”

Bella thought about her bargain with Blake’s ex-wife. Accepting the job as Drew’s nanny wouldn’t technically be breaking her promise to Victoria because their divorce meant the reason Bella had agreed to stay away no longer existed. Her presence in their life couldn’t be considered a distraction to the tight family Victoria had hoped to have with Blake and Drew.

But staying out of Victoria’s way hadn’t been the only reason she’d cut off all contact. Bella had begun feeling things that ran contrary to what she’d determined for her life, and the conflict had disturbed her.

“I’ll call Blake as soon as we’re back from our run and tell him I can’t be Drew’s nanny.”

“Why not now?”

“Because I need to plan what to say or he might just talk me into it.”

* * *

As the limo eased toward the curb in front of his stepsister’s building, Blake gathered up the baby and his bright blue diaper bag. Slinging it over his shoulder, lips quirking as he contemplated how becoming a parent had domesticated him, Blake strode into Jeanne’s building, nodding at the doorman as he passed.

“You’re late,” his stepsister announced when he stepped off the elevator. She raised her arms in welcome as she advanced to take her nephew. Murmuring in soothing tones, she plucked Drew out of Blake’s arms and cuddled him. “I’ve been worried.”

“I had to make a slight detour.” Blake smiled when Drew latched onto Jeanne’s chunky gold necklace and blinked sleepily up at her.

“Well, you’re here now and just in time to hear my wonderful news.” Jeanne’s gaze cut to her stepbrother. “We’re going to be neighbors this summer. Isn’t that great? Now you don’t need to worry about a nanny for Drew. I can take care of him until Talia gets back on her feet.”

“You found a rental this close to summer?”

“Connie and Gideon are getting divorced and they can’t agree on who gets the beach house, so they’re letting Peter and me lease it. We’ll be living two doors away. It’ll be such great fun. Of course, Peter will only come up on the weekends, but I’m planning on spending as much time as I can at the beach. Isn’t it wonderful?”

“Wonderful,” Blake echoed, his voice flat. He hadn’t yet shared his summer plans with Jeanne because he was certain she wouldn’t approve. “But you don’t need to watch Drew this summer. I found someone to fill in as his nanny.”

“Oh.” Jeanne looked disappointed. Two months ago she’d found out she was having a baby and her maternal instincts had kicked into high gear. “I was hoping to spend the summer with my nephew. I hope the woman comes from a reputable agency.”

“I didn’t use an agency.” Blake decided to deliver his news without preamble. “I asked Bella.”

“Oh, Blake, no.”

He ignored Jeanne’s dismay. “You knew that she’s been working at St. Vincent’s this past year, didn’t you?”

Jeanne had been the one who’d gotten Bella a job at the prestigious school a year ago last fall. It was her husband’s alma mater and the endowment they gave to the school each year gave them a certain pull when it came to asking favors.

“Yes,” his stepsister admitted with an exaggerated sigh.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Wasn’t it you who said she didn’t want to have anything to do with Drew?” Jeanne hadn’t liked Bella, but she’d never explained why. “Why would you want to bother with her?”

Because he hadn’t been completely satisfied with Bella’s explanation for why she wanted to sever all contact. Because for reasons he couldn’t rationalize, something unfinished lay between them.

“I need a nanny for Drew for a couple months until Talia’s broken leg heals.” This was what had prompted him to start looking for Bella. But it turned out that wasn’t his only reason for tracking her down.

Jeanne’s brow creased. “Let me help you hire someone.”

Why couldn’t she understand that he didn’t want just anyone? “I’m leaving for the Hamptons in two days. I don’t have time to interview a bunch of candidates. I know Bella. I trust her with Drew.”

“Do you think that’s wise?”

“Not only did she help raise her brothers and sisters, but she’s a kindergarten teacher. Who could be better?”

“I don’t think this is a good plan, Blake.” Jeanne carried the sleeping Drew to the portable playpen set up in her stylish living room and settled the baby, fussing with his blanket until she was satisfied. “Bella declined contact with Drew. No pictures or updates. Why do you think she’d want to take care of him for two months?”

Jeanne’s skepticism echoed Blake’s own concerns. “She’ll do it.” The money he intended to offer would be hard for her to refuse.

“Pick someone else. Anyone else.”

“Why?”

“That girl is trouble.”

Jeanne’s proclamation was so ridiculous, Blake laughed. “Bella? She’s the furthest thing from trouble.”

“Are you going to tell me you never noticed the way she looked at you?”

Blake’s amusement dried up. “What are you talking about? She and I were friends. Nothing more.”

“Maybe nothing more from your perspective, but I think she was more than half in love with you.” Jeanne crossed her arms and frowned. “Not that I blame her. You are wealthy, handsome and charming.”

“In that order?” Blake muttered, unsettled by the interest that had flared inside him. Was Bella attracted to him? Maybe that’s what accounted for his unexpected awareness of her—he was merely responding to her subliminal signals. Body language. The chemistry of pheromones. Building blocks of sexual desire. Easy to disregard now that he knew the root cause.

“But the two of you together alone in the Hamptons will give her ample opportunity to get her hooks into you.”

“That isn’t going to happen.”

“No?”

“First of all, I believe I have some say in who I get involved with.” Blake arched his eyebrows when Jeanne opened her mouth to protest. “Secondly, Bella isn’t interested in getting her hooks in me. You said it yourself. She declined any contact with Drew. She told me she doesn’t want to be a mother. She did enough parenting with her siblings. So you don’t need to worry that I’m going to do something as foolish as fall for her.”

“That’s good to hear. But hasn’t it occurred to you that Drew needs more than a series of nannies? He needs a mother. Someone who will love him with all her heart.”

“I’ve been thinking along those lines myself.”

First Bella had turned her back on Drew. Then Vicky. He could do nothing about the latter. His ex-wife had let him believe she wanted a family when what she really wanted was for their relationship to remain unchanged, but Bella’s values were different. She’d come from a large family. And if he’d learned anything at all about her in the months before Drew was born, he’d seen that she had a nurturing nature. Even if she was determined to deny it.

With Vicky there’d been no such mothering instinct. His ex-wife had insisted on hiring a nanny before Drew was born. She maintained she didn’t have the temperament to be a full-time mother. He should have listened to her. But he’d been too set on having his son grow up in the perfect family Blake had not had growing up.

Jeanne lit up. “I’m so glad to hear you say that.”

“Glad why?”

“Victoria ended her relationship with Gregory.” His stepsister’s animated expression warned Blake she was in full interference mode.

He’d heard something to that effect. “I suspect that had something to do with the fact that her play closed after two weeks?” Blake made no effort to hide his cynicism.

“That’s not it at all,” Jeanne insisted. “She never stopped loving you.”

“She loves her career more.”

It had been a bitter blow when he’d discovered how she’d fooled him into believing having a family was her first priority when her true passion was show business.

“That’s not true,” Jeanne insisted.

While Blake admired Jeanne’s loyalty to her best friend, he was in no mood to forgive his ex-wife. “I know you want to defend her, but you’re wasting your breath trying to convince me to take her back. She put her career before her family.”

“I know it’s something she’d never do again.”

Despite her conviction, his stepsister’s argument failed to shift Blake’s opinion of Vicky’s desires. “She left me. She left Drew.” And it was the latter that prevented him from trusting her ever again.

“She knows she made a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Past and present betrayals tangled in Blake’s chest. “She chose her career over our family. That’s more than just a mistake.”

“You are not an easy man to please, Blake,” Jeanne said, her tone firm. A second later, she put her hand on his arm. “She was overwhelmed at suddenly becoming a mother and retreated into something that was comfortable and familiar to her. She knows she didn’t make the best choice.”

“But she made it.” He set aside his past disappointments and turned his gaze once more to the future. “And I made mine.” Seeing that they weren’t ever going to agree, Blake bent down and kissed his stepsister’s cheek. “Drew needs a mother.”

“And Vicky is ready to be that.”

Blake shook his head. “She’s not, and I need to put Drew’s needs first.”

“What does that mean?”

“I got married the first time because I fell in love, and it left my son without a mother. This time I’m going to do it differently.”

Three

When Bella finished tying her shoes, she and Deidre left the apartment. They used the three-block walk along Eighty-Ninth Street to warm up their muscles. Reaching the park, they quickly stretched before starting off on an easy jog north along the bridle path. The two-and-a-half-mile run would be relatively easy, but long enough for Bella to reach that place where her mind opened up.

While their shoes thumped rhythmically on the pavement, Bella pulled crisp, fragrant air into her lungs and glanced around her. Late spring had always been her favorite time of year on the farm. Dreary skies, cold and snow gave way to green pastures and new life. It was time to stop planning and take action. Possibilities seemed as boundless as the fields that surrounded her family’s farm.

It was no different in New York. As soon as the first buds formed on the trees, she’d felt a kick of excitement, as if anything she wanted could be hers. She and Deidre had begun to make plans for the summer and tossed ideas around for a winter vacation. And now that school was out, she reveled in her freedom from responsibility. Her life was turning out exactly the way she wanted.

“Do you ever regret it?” Deidre asked as their run wound down.

“Regret what?”

“The whole surrogacy thing.” Obviously Bella hadn’t been the only one mulling over her situation during the twenty minutes they’d been running. “I know you say you don’t want to get married and have kids, but being pregnant and giving up the baby, that’s different.”

“I knew what I was getting into.” She was a farm girl—when she was six she’d learned a difficult but important lesson about the difference between pets and livestock. As much time and energy that she put into raising a prizewinning calf, there was always a chance that it would be sold. “I wouldn’t have done it if I thought I would have a problem. Besides, Drew isn’t my baby. He belongs to Blake.”

“And Victoria,” Deidre prompted.

Bella shook her head. “She left him. Left them.”

“What?”

“That’s why he needs a nanny this summer. Victoria decided she didn’t want to be a mother.” Of course, she wasn’t Drew’s biological mother, but only Victoria and Bella knew the truth about that.

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“A little sea air might be exactly what you need.”

“Maybe.” She wasn’t thinking about sea air; she was mulling over the weeks of sleepless nights when she’d be battered by temptation, knowing Blake would be dreaming peacefully in the master bedroom down the hall. Keeping her attraction hidden had been easy when he was married to Victoria. That was a line she’d never cross. But now that he was single, would she send out vibes without even knowing it? How humiliating to be fired from a nanny job because she had the hots for her employer.

Uncomfortable with the direction her thoughts had taken her, Bella made sure to shift the conversation away from Blake and Drew during the walk back to the apartment. Deidre had called dibs on the first shower, so Bella headed to her bedroom to pack away the supplies she’d brought home from her classroom. By the time she finished, she was ready to call Blake and turn down his offer. Picking up the phone, she noticed she’d missed a call during her run. The message was a giddy explosion of good news from her sister Kate: she’d been accepted into a global health program in Kenya.

It was impossible for Bella not to smile at her sister’s enthusiasm. Kate had set her sights on this program since she’d started college three years ago and had worked diligently toward the goal. She would graduate next year with a major in social work and intended to get her master’s in public health. Bella couldn’t be more proud.

Kate was well on her way to making a life for herself beyond the fetters of the farm and her siblings’ constant drain on her energy and resources. It was the dream Bella had for all her siblings, but thus far only Kate and Jess were poised to achieve it.

The phone rang before Bella had a chance to dial Kate’s number to congratulate her.

“Hiya, Bella.” It was Jess. At eighteen, she was the most practical of Bella’s three sisters.

“What’s up?”

“I heard Kate leaving you a message and just thought you should know that she’s probably not going to be able to afford the semester abroad.”

Bella’s good mood crashed and burned. “Why not? Last I heard she’d gotten the scholarship and had enough saved.” Kate had been working so hard for the past three years to make this trip happen.

“There were some extra costs she hadn’t accounted for and Mom and Dad weren’t able to give her the money she was counting on.”

“How did that happen?” The long pause that followed Bella’s question told her everything she needed to know. “What broke down?”

“The tractor. It was in the middle of planting. Mom and Dad didn’t have a choice.”

“Of course not,” Bella mumbled bitterly and felt a stab of guilt over her tone.

It didn’t do any good to complain that the money to fix the tractor was supposed to be given to Kate to make her dream come true. Their parents sacrificed so much to keep the farm running and raise a family. Clothes wore out before they were replaced. Food was home cooked and simple. Entertainment consisted of the games they played in their living room or around the dining table.

“I know she’d never ask,” Jess continued. “But is there any way you can help her out? I’m giving her five hundred.” Money earmarked for her college tuition next year. “Mom’s going to give Kate the six hundred in egg money she’d put aside for Sean’s truck.”

Jess’s voice trailed off. Guilt wrenched at Bella. What a horrible sister she was to selfishly cling to her nest egg when Kate needed help. This particular program was only offered once a year. She had to go now, because next year she would begin her graduate studies and the window would be closed.

But Bella had already sent money home to help with Paul’s community-college expenses and Jess’s activities. She’d helped with the medical bills when Scott broke his leg last fall and contributed to Laney’s orthodontic treatments. As hard as her parents worked, sometimes they were caught short financially and Bella’s sense of responsibility kicked into overdrive. How could she not help out her family when she had the resources to do so? But every once in a while, she wished there wasn’t always someone needing something.

“How much is she short?”

“About three thousand.”

Bella’s heart sank, but she kept her dismay out of her voice. “Let me see what I can do.”

“You’re the best,” Jess crowed, her unselfishness making Bella feel worse and worse about her resentment. “Elephant shoes.”

“Elephant shoes right back,” Bella echoed, her family’s endearment failing to give her mood the lift it usually did. Shoulders slumping beneath the weight of responsibility, Bella dropped the phone onto her bed.

“Oh, dear.” Deidre spoke from the doorway. “Which one of them called this time?”

“Kate and Jess. Kate got into the Kenya program, but she doesn’t have enough money to go.”

“And she wants you to help her out.”

“She would never ask.”

“But Jess would.”

Bella nodded. Why deny it? Deidre knew how much Bella helped out her family. “It’s only three thousand.”

“That’s the money you were going to use for our trip to the Virgin Islands during Christmas vacation.”

“How could I possibly go and enjoy it if I didn’t help Kate?”

“I get that, but why do you always have to be the one who gives up what you want to do?”

“Because I’m the oldest.” Bella sighed. “And because I can.”

“Don’t beat yourself up for wanting to say no. You are always there when someone needs you. It’s okay not to be once in a while.”

“I know. It’s just...” Bella trailed off, already knowing she wasn’t going to disappoint her sister.

Deidre rolled her eyes. “You’re just too responsible for your own good.”

“If I was really responsible, I’d be living closer to home so I could be there when Laney needed help with math or Ben wanted to practice his goaltending skills.” Instead, she’d stayed in New York, because here she could go hours without feeling weighed down by the never-ending demands of her large family.

“You need to stop feeling guilty for enjoying living so far away from Iowa.” Deidre pulled the towel from her hair and wrapped it around her neck. Her brown eyes drilled into Bella. “Stop beating yourself up just because you like the freedom you have here. Your parents decided to have eight kids. They’re the ones who should worry about taking care of your brothers and sisters.”

“Worrying about each other is what families do.” But Bella recognized the disparity between what she said and how she felt. She was burdened in equal parts by guilt and resentment.

“But at some point you’re going to have your own family to focus on. What happens to them then?”

Bella shook her head. They’d had this conversation multiple times, but Deidre never listened. “I might someday get married, but you know how I feel about having kids. I don’t want any.”

“Your family really did a number on you,” Deidre said, her expression glum. “You had to grow up way too fast.”

“It’s not their fault.” But there was no denying that the yoke of responsibility Bella had shouldered at a young age had led to her decision never to have kids of her own. Just the thought of being trapped the way her mother had been filled her with dread.

It was why she’d thought she could carry a baby for Victoria and Blake without fear of becoming emotionally involved. Too bad she hadn’t understood that her fundamental nature hadn’t been altered by her frustration with her family’s neediness. If she had, she’d have known she’d fall in love with the child she’d given birth to. A child she had no legal claim on.

“You know,” Bella began, her pragmatic side taking over, “if I nanny for Blake this summer, I could afford to help out my sister and have enough for our Caribbean trip.”

It was a job that would pay well. She needed the money. With it she could go on vacation this winter and feel no guilt, plus she could replenish her nest egg and still help out her family.

“I think it’s a huge mistake.”

“Seems more like a win-win situation. I get money. Blake gets a nanny.”

With her head cocked to one side, Deidre studied her friend. “You forget that I know how hard it was for you to say no to Blake about staying in touch with Drew. And I know why you did it. Now that Blake is divorced, the reason you agreed to stay out of Drew’s life no longer exists.”

Bella felt a flutter of excitement in the pit of her stomach. Deidre was right. Blake wasn’t married to Victoria any longer, so Bella’s promise to disappear and give the three of them a chance to become a family was no longer binding.

But her agreement with Victoria wasn’t her only reason for staying away. Giving up Drew had been the hardest thing she’d ever done. Being on the fringe of his life would never allow her ache for him to dull.

“Plus,” Deidre continued, her eyes narrowing, “there’s that little crush you have on Blake.”