Valentine's Dream

“Whatever.” Grace gave in with a grin as Carmen walked away, carefully balancing the vase.

There was plenty to take care of, and Grace was glad that her duties kept her away from the exit and the departing guests. She reasoned that she wasn’t really avoiding Carter, but that she was fulfilling her responsibilities for the evening. When she finally switched from black, high-heeled pumps to her winter boots and put on a stylish black wool overcoat, Grace realized she had a mere thirty-five minutes to catch her commuter train. She said good-night to the last of the cleanup staff and exited the building through a side security door.

Despite the late hour, there was plenty of traffic on the Midtown Manhattan street, and Grace had no qualms about walking the six blocks to Grand Central Station alone. But she’d gone no more than a few yards when the driver’s door of a town car double-parked near the corner suddenly opened and out stepped Carter.

Grace slowed her steps, astonished to see him again.

“You’re not waiting for me, are you?” she asked.

“Are you done for the night?”

He stood with the car door open and the engine running. He wore no coat over his tuxedo, and his breath vaporized in the late-January air. The streets still had piles of dirty snow from a heavy snowfall the previous weekend.

“Yes. I’m on my way to Grand Central to catch my train. I’ve really got to run.” Grace waved casually to Carter as she walked away.

He beckoned to her. “Get in. I’ll drive you home.”

She shook her head. “That’s nice of you, Carter, but crazy. You don’t want to go all the way up to Westchester at this hour.”

“It’s my invitation, my decision. All you have to do is say yes. Unless you really want to ride the train alone this late. Or maybe it’s me?”

Grace was forced to stop completely. She regarded him with wary embarrassment. To her, Carter sounded neither angry nor hurt, but was simply speculating.

“That’s not true,” she said quietly. But even to her ears, her disclaimer came across as insincere. “I just assumed you’d want to hang out awhile with some of your associates.”

“That’s why we all attended the dinner. I’m off the clock now. This is my time.”

“Right. But you don’t have to spend it with me every time you come to the city,” Grace said, trying to walk away.

“Benson was my best friend, Grace. I was there at your wedding. I’m godfather to one of your kids. So far it’s fair to say I haven’t really been here for you when you’ve needed anything, especially after Benson died. And he did ask me to keep an eye on his family if anything ever happened to him.”

Grace faced him squarely. She also remembered Benson making that request. It had come right after Carter, the best man, had given an eloquent toast at their wedding reception.

“I can’t hold you to that, Carter. It was eight years ago....”

Two men passed behind her, deep in conversation. A lone woman on a cell phone passed in front. Grace was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, and it was cold.

“Come on. Get in,” Carter repeated and waited.

Grace took a deep breath and slowly walked toward the car. By the time she’d reached the passenger side, Carter had come around the front of the vehicle to open and hold the door for her. She settled herself in the front seat and waited for him to get behind the wheel. In the few seconds it took for him to climb in and put on his seat belt, she had accepted the situation. Besides...the car was deliciously warm, with a luxurious leather interior, and she was grateful that she’d been spared a grim late-night Metro-North train ride to the suburbs.

Neither said anything for several blocks, as Carter navigated traffic and headed to the east side of the island and the FDR Drive. It was the quickest route to the Major Deegan Expressway and north into Westchester County.

“Are you warm enough?” he asked, making a turn at an intersection.

“Yes, thank you,” Grace said, pulling off her gloves and stuffing them into her tote bag. She noted that Carter knew his away around the city like a native. She stole a glance at his profile, noticing the familiar firm set of his jaw and his unconscious habit of flexing the muscles there. Her gaze went to his hands, curved around the steering wheel. His nails were clean and his fingers were long, tapered and capable. She stared out the windshield at the traffic and the city lights as they sped along. “I’m sorry I was rude to you tonight. I didn’t mean to be, Carter.”

“Not consciously, maybe. But I don’t think you were particularly happy to see me.”

“I didn’t expect to see you. It’s been a long time.”

“Only seven months.”

“You came in for a quick meeting before flying over to Germany.”

“It was also Becca’s birthday. We’re going to go through this every time we see each other.”

It was a statement, not a question. Grace felt bad that she’d given him the impression that she didn’t want to see him, but she also felt that she’d been put on the defensive.

“I was working. I was distracted. There was so much going on at the gala, and...”

“Relax, Grace. Apology accepted, okay?”

She glared at his profile. “That wasn’t an apology.”

“Look, I’m going to rewind the tape back to the beginning of the evening, and we’re going to start over.”

Grace was surprised at how relieved she felt that Carter had adroitly smoothed over the awkwardness. It also annoyed her that he didn’t seem nearly as unsettled as she felt.

“If you want,” she agreed.

“You first,” Carter said, giving her a brief glance.

“Carter! It’s so great to see you,” Grace exclaimed with exaggerated excitement. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be in New York? I would have baked a cake.”

He grimaced and shook his head. “Be careful. Don’t overdo it.”

Grace stared ahead. “I’m being real now. I was shocked to suddenly see you. And it is nice to see you. Honest.”

He chuckled, his wide smile showing white, even teeth, and his eyes almost squinting in amusement. “Okay. I’ll accept that. Sorry I didn’t let you know I was coming, but I didn’t find out myself until early this morning.”

“Why so last minute?”

“Actually, not so last minute. I knew a few days ago that the firm was offering me a new position that would mean moving to New York.”

“Oh.”

“There was a lot to consider. Do I want to move to the city?”

She waited, not hearing any definitive answer. “Did coming to the dinner tonight have anything to do with the offer?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. I flew in early enough to meet my new colleagues, to see my new office, to look over a few apartments I can choose from to lease until I decide on more permanent housing.”

“Oh.”

He started laughing. “Oh? I can’t decide if that means you’re surprised, happy, disappointed or what.”

“It just means oh,” Grace said noncommittally.

“Fine. Anyway, once I knew I was attending the gala, I called your office. They said you were busy getting ready for an event this evening, so at least I knew you’d be on hand. I thought I’d surprise you.”

“Well, you certainly did that,” Grace murmured a little dryly. She glanced at him. “Are you really going to move to New York?”

“Looks like it,” he said, glancing her way again. Silence spread between them for almost a full minute before he spoke again. “Is that going to be a problem?”

Grace shrugged. “Why should it?”

For the rest of the ride to her house, they managed to keep the conversation on the safe topic of his job, which was as financial executive for an international corporate firm. Grace got questioned about her position as events coordinator for a private library, a major step up from working in guest services. They talked about mutual acquaintances and family. About Madison and Becca, her two young children. About Benson. They reached the quiet and orderly suburban community in Westchester, which lay immediately north or the city, in about forty minutes.

“You’ll have to take me to the station. I left my car there this morning.”

Grace gave Carter directions. Her late-model Honda Accord was among only five cars remaining in the commuter lot. She got in and started the engine, and Carter followed closely behind her as she headed home.

They finally reached Grace’s house in a quiet residential neighborhood of spacious detached homes. The raised ranch, which she and Benson had considered their starter home, intending to move once he felt more secure in his position as one of several deputies in the mayor’s office, was on a quarter-acre lot set back from the street. It had a modest circular drive and was landscaped with several trees that provided a natural but subtle screen from passing vehicular and pedestrian traffic. There was still quite a bit of snow around the property.

Grace turned into her driveway, and Carter pulled in behind her, turning off his engine. She thought that he would get out of his car to say good-night, and when he didn’t, she climbed inside instead. Immediately, the suburban stillness closed in around them. The warmth from the car heater began to quickly dissipate.

Grace wasn’t sure why, but she waited for Carter to say something first.

“Before I forget, I have something for you,” Carter said. He reached behind her seat and grabbed a small, gold-toned shopping bag with red-and-gold ribbons tied to the handles. He set it in her lap.

Grace stared at the bag without touching it. She felt a peculiar sensation, a cross between surprise at the unexpected gift...and suspicion.

“What is it?”

“It’s the goody bag the company prepared for all the guests. I took one for you.”

She looked at him and half smiled in exasperation. “First Carmen and now you?”

“Who’s Carmen?”

“Oh...never mind. Why are you giving this to me?” Grace asked, poking through the red tissue paper to look inside.

“Because there won’t be a thing in the bag that I want or can use. The goody bags are for the women guests. It’s yours.”

“Thank you. But isn’t there someone else you can give it to?” she asked.

Carter shifted in his seat so that he could fully face her. His gaze was thoughtful, but also faintly amused.

“Is that your way of asking whether I’m seeing anyone?”

Grace turned her head away in a haughty manner. “I wasn’t trying to be nosy.”

“There is someone I’m interested in. The relationship is still new, but I have high hopes,” Carter explained.

“Well. That’s nice,” Grace murmured, checking to make sure she had all her things. Taking her house keys from her purse, she added, “You never liked any of the women Benson tried to set you up with.”

“Benson had no idea what kind of woman I want.”

“He could be opinionated, but I know he meant well.”

“I know he meant well, too,” Carter agreed.

Grace realized she was waiting for Carter to elaborate on who he might be dating. He changed the subject instead.

“Tell me about the kids. How are they?”

She suspected this was a diversionary tactic so she’d stop tiptoeing around the issue of his personal life. She sighed in resignation. “Good. Becca is—”

“Going to be a heartbreaker.” Carter chuckled.

“My father says the same thing. Of course, she’s got him wrapped around her finger. Madison is going to be tall, like Benson.”

It was a natural comparison, but Grace felt awkward saying so. Carter never missed a beat and didn’t appear to find the reference uncomfortable.

“I bet he’s a handful.”

“Sometimes. He’s got more energy than he knows what to do with. Definitely all boy.”

“Do you think I could see them while I’m here? They probably won’t remember who I am.”

“I think they might. You must have promised Madison you’d take him to a basketball game, because he talks about it now and then.”

“I’d like to keep that promise.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Grace demurred. She played idly with the gold ribbons on the gift bag. “I owe you an apology.”

“Why?”

“I never thanked you for sending Becca that sweet Valentine’s Day candy last February. Or that little stuffed lamb for her birthday. She’s very attached to it. It’s filthy—” she broke out into a rich laugh “—but I’m afraid to wash it. She might throw a fit.”

“Then I wouldn’t if I were you.”

She glanced at him openly. “And I never thanked you for the flowers and candy you sent me, either. It was very thoughtful, Carter.”

He shrugged, embarrassed. “No need to thank me. I hope you enjoyed everything.”

“I loved the flowers. Never got any of the candy. The kids beat me to it.”

Carter laughed again. For some reason, it made Grace feel good that she could make him laugh. Carter had always struck her in the past as too serious.

“I guess I’ll have to do something different this year.”

“Don’t,” Grace quickly said. “It’s not your responsibility.”

He sat up straight in his seat. “I’m sorry. I forgot that you might be seeing someone.”

“I’m not. At the moment,” she said, quickly qualifying her answer. “The kids and my job take up a lot of my life. That’s not a complaint, by the way.”

He silently nodded. “How’s Marjorie?”

“Marjorie is doing fine. She adores the children, of course. I don’t know what she would have done if her only child had died before making her a grandmother.”

“Do I hear a bit of—”

“No, you don’t. Marjorie can sometimes have a one-track mind, but don’t you think it’s understandable that she misses Benson?”

“What you’re saying is, she hasn’t let him go yet.”

Grace sighed. “Maybe we can’t expect her to. How do you put a time limit on grief?”

“How about you? Do you hold him in your memories?”

She stared straight ahead out the windshield. “I have two children with Benson. Of course I think about him. They remind me every day of my life.”

“That’s not what I mean,” he said quietly.

Grace searched blindly for the door handle. “You know, it’s really late, and I better go in. And you still have to drive back to the city. I appreciate the ride, Carter. It was nice of you to go out of your way.”

He lightly touched her shoulder, and it stayed her as she glanced back at him.

“I’m serious. I’d like to see the kids. Do you think that’s possible? I have to return to Chicago in about a week to wrap up some business and arrange for the move here. Can I see all of you before I go?”

There was an element of appeal in his voice that touched Grace because it came across as sincere. But rather than responding, she found herself weighing the ramifications. She was about to suggest that perhaps getting together should wait for another time, hoping that by then his interest would have waned, when he spoke again.

“How about this coming Saturday?”

She thought about it. In all honesty, there was no reason why he couldn’t visit for a few hours, even though she was reluctant to encourage his sense of responsibility to her children.

“I’ve got a couple of household errands and chores to do in the morning. Madison and Becca have a swim class. Afterward, I’m taking them to a local ice-skating rink. Then I treat them to lunch at the local mall.”

“Why don’t I join you for lunch?”

“If you want,” Grace said in an offhand manner before finally getting out of the car.

She heard the driver’s door close and realized that Carter intended to walk her right up to the front door.

They stood under the entrance light and faced each other. Carter’s gaze seemed to roam her face, taking in all of her features. She tried to ignore the fact that he was staring.

“I know you have to go inside and relieve the babysitter....”

Grace shook her head. “The kids are with Marjorie tonight. She’s very good about volunteering to keep them when I have to work late. I’ll pick them up in the morning and drop them off at school before heading to work.”

He nodded his head to indicate he was listening, but Grace was starting to feel a little uncomfortable under his persistent scrutiny. Finally, Carter broke his trance.

“Sounds like you have a system that works. What do you do when you want or need time to yourself?”

She laughed. “Haven’t you heard? Mommies don’t get time off. We’re not allowed to get sick, either.”

He shook his head sadly. “All work and no play. Gotta do something ’bout that.”

“I’m open to suggestions.”

“I’ll get back to you,” Carter said lightly. “I should let you go in. It’s great to see you again, Grace.”

“Thanks again for the ride.”

Carter slowly raised and opened his arms. There was only a fleeting instant of awkward hesitation before Grace took one tentative step forward into them. Their embrace was loose, brief, not at all romantic but familiar. She patted his shoulder, like she often did with her children when they needed comforting. Carter glided his hand back and forth across her back before they stepped apart.

Again memories of the past came back to Grace, and she felt a brief but heavy sense of guilt. She inhaled the cold air to shake it off.

“I’ll see you Saturday,” he said, returning to his car.

“Good night, Carter. Drive safe.”

“Oh, by the way,” he said, about to climb back into the driver’s seat. “I really like your hair cut short that way. It’s very becoming.”

Grace didn’t respond to the compliment. Benson had liked her hair long, but it was more work that way. Cutting her hair had been one of the first things she’d done once things had settled down after Benson’s death. The new grown-up style was her declaration of independence and break from the past. She saw no point in looking back. She tried to remember that as Carter turned over his car engine.

She turned to unlock her door as he reversed the town car into the street and drove away.

Chapter 2

“Madison, put that book away, and go get your coat. We’re going to be late. Becca, honey, you don’t need any more raisins in your cereal. Eat one more spoonful, and then we have to go,” Grace said firmly to her children, who seemed inclined to dawdle.

“Oh, Grace, do stop fussing at them. You’ll make them nervous,” Marjorie Haley complained in her own maternal nagging tone.

“I asked you to please have them ready by the time I arrived. I have a train to catch,” Grace said, trying not to sound annoyed.

She was standing at the kitchen counter in the home of her mother-in-law, checking her son’s knapsack to make sure all of his school things were inside. She then approached her daughter, removing the nearly empty cereal bowl and instructing her to find her boots and put them on. Marjorie, a pleasant looking late-fiftysomething woman of average height but slightly overweight, was meticulously packing a lunch for each of the kids, which she then put into each of the children’s schoolbags.

“I told you I could take them to school myself, but you kept telling me you want to do it. I think you get the children all mixed up.”

Grace decided not to point out to Marjorie that she was hardly ready to drive Madison and Becca to school since she was still in her bathrobe and nursing a cup of coffee. The only thing already in place was Marjorie’s fashionable wig, one of several she owned in different styles. Instead of arguing, Grace placed Madison’s schoolbag by the front door of the house and bent over to help Becca as the child tried stuffing her tiny foot into her boot.

“I can do it,” Becca told her mother, sitting on the floor to make it easier to pull the boot on.

Grace glanced over to Marjorie. “I know it would have been easier, even made sense. But I wanted to see my kids before they went to school this morning.”

“Do you have to work late again tonight?”

“No, but I don’t like going such a long time without seeing them.”

“I suppose that means you don’t think I know how to take care of my own grandchildren.”

“That’s not what I mean, and that’s not what I said,” Grace corrected calmly. She was holding Becca’s pink parka to help her into it.

“I want to remind you that after my divorce, I raised a son alone. He turned out good enough to attend Harvard. You found him good enough to marry.”

“Mommy, Nana Marj said that if me and Becca come to stay with her, she’s going to take us to see Monsters, Inc., an ice show.”

“When is this?” Grace asked, grateful to Madison for the distraction.

“It’s performing for the next two weeks, but I thought maybe this Saturday,” Marjorie said. “The kids can stay with me for the weekend.”

“Can we?” Madison asked.

“Did you forget we have plans for Saturday?” Grace asked. Madison groaned dramatically, his face scrunched up as he recognized the conflict.

“I wanna go ice-skating,” Becca piped up, not to be left out.

“Can we go with Nana on Sunday?” Madison negotiated.

“We’ll talk about it tonight. Right now, we have to go. Do you have everything?”

“What’s going on on Saturday?” Marjorie asked as she walked Grace and her grandchildren to the door.

“Madison, take Becca and get in the car. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“I thought you said we have to hurry?” Madison protested.

Grace sighed and sent Madison a silent, telling look. Taking the warning to heart, he went to his grandmother, arms outstretched for a perfunctory hug.

“Bye, Nana.”

“Have a good day in school, sweetheart. Come on, Dumplin’. Give Nana a kiss,” Marjorie cooed, bending over to scoop Becca into her arms.

Becca returned the affection but quickly pulled away to run after her brother. “Wait for me!” she whined, dragging her red, blue and yellow schoolbag by a strap, her bright knit hat askew over the four thick cornrows of her slightly curly hair.

“I’ll call you later,” Grace said to her mother-in-law, heading for the door.

“Grace, you can spare five minutes to tell me why I can’t see my grandkids this weekend,” Marjorie complained.

“You make it sound as if I deliberately keep them from you,” Grace said carefully. “You had them for a full weekend two weeks ago. I told you we already have a lot to do. Madison is going to a sleepover on Friday night. Then he, Becca and I are going skating. They’ve been looking forward to that.”

“Then bring them to me in the evening. They can stay until Monday.”

Grace shook her head patiently. “Not this weekend. It’s too much running around for them and me. I do enough of that during the week. Besides, Carter Morrison is in town. He asked to see the kids, and I invited him out for the day,” she finished casually.

“Carter Morrison?” Marjorie repeated. “What’s he doing in New York?”

Graced stared at her, taken aback by Marjorie’s scathing question. “He’s here on business. He happened to attend the corporate event I worked last night. As a matter of fact, he’s gotten some sort of promotion and will probably leave Chicago.”

“Oh, really? I suppose he’s moving here?”

“Why do you say it that way? I thought you liked Carter. I mean, he’s...was Benson’s best friend.”

“Was is right. Carter may be smart and good-looking, but he always thought he was better than my son. He’s very ambitious, and you know what I’m taking about.”

Grace suddenly forgot all about the time. She took a quick look out the window next to the door and saw both children in the back of the car, waiting. Madison had once again buried himself in a book, and Becca had fallen asleep in her car seat.

“I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about,” she said, turning back to Marjorie.

“I saw you, you know,” Marjorie drawled in a low, nearly menacing tone.

“What?”

“Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on. I saw you and Carter together after the memorial service for my son. Couldn’t believe my eyes. Benson not in the ground forty-eight hours, and I catch you fooling around with another man.”

Grace felt her heart thudding wildly at the accusation. She swallowed hard as Marjorie’s words drained all of her body heat. She narrowed her gaze on the older woman.

“How dare you say that to me. I wasn’t fooling around with Carter, then or at any other time.”

“I know what I saw,” Marjorie said with equal indignation. “Benson was a good, honest man. He deserves a wife who holds his memory dear. But you couldn’t wait until he was gone to turn to someone else.”

Grace realized that she was squeezing her gloves so tightly in her hands that her fingers were cramping. Her mouth was dry, but when she spoke, her voice had a steely edge to it.

“You’re my children’s only grandmother, and I know you love them very much, so I’m not going to trade insults with you. It’s really none of your business, and I don’t owe you any explanation, but what you saw three years ago was Carter trying to comfort me. I was in Reverend Daniels’s office. He found me crying. I was overwhelmed with the changes that I knew would take place after Benson died. I was scared, and hurt. I...I realized that my daughter will have no memory of her father, and that Madison might soon forget.

“I loved Benson. He was too talented, too smart and much too young to die, but he’s gone. I’m trying to do the best I can for my kids and myself.”

Marjorie stood listening to Grace’s recital with interest, but skepticism was still apparent in her gaze. But by the time Grace had finished, Marjorie’s demeanor had changed. Her shoulders slumped, and she averted her eyes to hide the evidence of tears.

“Benson was my only child,” Marjorie moaned. “My...baby. Lord, not a day goes by that I don’t think about him. I miss him so much. He was my life.”

Grace took another moment to let her tumultuous feelings settle down. She was not unsympathetic to Marjorie’s loss. She sucked in a deep, calming breath and reached out to rub her mother-in-law’s arm. “I know you do.” Grace looked down at the head, with its synthetic hair, bowed in grief, and suddenly felt sorry for Benson’s mother. “Maybe I can bring the children over after Sunday school. I’ll call you later.”

Grace couldn’t stand to see any more of Marjorie’s pain, or to explore the bald assumptions that had been made about herself. There was no time to react fully to the astonishing news that she and Carter had been seen together that afternoon three years ago. The cold morning air gave her a jolt back to the present. Grace resolutely buried that singular memory. She drove away with her children, knowing now that the past was not so easy to let go of after all.

* * *

Grace took a quick glance at Madison, who was already laced up and on the ice with fifteen or so children his age. There were two ice attendants but no rambunctious teenagers to interfere or take over the PeeWee Period on the ice. Assured that he was okay, she bent to tie the laces on Becca’s ice skates. Suddenly, she felt a hand brush her shoulder. She swiveled her head and, in a state of disbelief, saw Carter looming over her. His sudden appearance was disconcerting.

“Carter,” Grace said. She went back to securing her daughter’s skates. She fumbled the laces and had to start over.

“Mommy, hurry up,” Becca complained.

“I’m almost done, honey.”

“I know I’m early, but I wanted to watch the kids skate. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Why should I? How did you find us?” Grace asked, getting to her feet and helping Becca stand on the double-edged training blades.

“I let my fingers do the looking. I searched online and this was the only public rink in the area. Hi, Becca. I’m Carter. Remember me?”

He held out his big hand to the little girl, who, after getting a reassuring nod from her mother, shyly put her hand in his to let Carter gently shake it.

“Hi,” she murmured, pulling free and looking up at her mother. “I want to go skate.”

“All right, but stay close to the side of the rink. I’ll be watching you, okay?”

Grace led her daughter to the entrance gate. She held Becca by both hands as the little girl stepped off the protective rubber matting and immediately lost her balance as her feet slipped out from under her. Grace pulled her upright and held her until she got her footing.

“Mommy, let go. I can do it by myself.”

Grace reluctantly did as she was asked, watching as her baby shuffled along the ice. Becca wasn’t going fast enough to be in any danger, and she was low enough to the ground that if she fell, there’d be minimum damage. Still, Grace hid her anxiety over her daughter’s safety.

“She’s pretty fearless.” Carter chuckled admirably, standing behind her.

Grace didn’t realize he was so close, as she was intent on making sure that Becca was managing. “Frighteningly so.” Grace sighed. “Madison! Keep an eye on Becca!”

“Okay,” he yelled back.

But Madison was involved in a game with several other boys to see who could spin around without falling. Not knowing the correct move, their actions consisted of trying to force their bodies to turn in one big effort, a movement that was unsteady and clumsy.

“I’m not going to look,” Grace murmured as she walked to a bench and sat facing the rink.

Carter laughed quietly but stood alone, watching the children. Assured that her children were doing fine without her, Grace returned her attention to Carter, checking him out. She realized that this was probably the very first time she’d seen Carter dressed down. He had on sturdy Timberland boots, corduroy slacks and a black turtleneck sweater. The rolled collar hugged his neck right up to his jaw and chin, and the stark color seemed particularly bold and attractive on him. Carter was hatless and stood with his leather coat gathered and tucked under one arm. He looked and seemed different. Somehow stronger and more solid than a few nights ago, when he’d materialized formally attired. It was strange to see the difference. But both times Grace recognized in Carter a man who was self-possessed and indomitable.

Watching him, however, she was also reminded of that strained conversation with Marjorie. And it wasn’t as if her mother-in-law was totally wrong, Grace conceded. She and Carter had hugged after the memorial service, although Marjorie’s spin on the situation was pretty nasty. And yet, Grace admitted to herself, there had been a brief moment when she’d wondered, What am I doing? What is Carter thinking?