The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as «Tommy Upmore»

"'Call the hands together, and draw down to the boats,' was the order I gave; 'I shall be down there myself, by the time you have got them ready.' But whether I fell off to sleep, or what, is more than I can tell; only one thing is certain, the men were at the boats, before I was near them, and before I had begun to think at all about it. Then they sent a lad to fetch me, whose name was Tommy, understrapper to the cook; but before he could find me, a terrible scream made me sit up, and look round. Upon the slope behind me, were a lot of darkies running, and in front of them a white man, flying for his life, who had clearly caught sight of our boats, just when his case seemed altogether hopeless.

"Our men had seen him, and were pushing out a little; while others waved their guns, and shouted to him, to put on his last bit of speed, and they would save him. From the place where they stood, they could see the great multitude of his pursuers, which I could not do; and this made me wrong them, in thinking them cowards, for not coming up the hill, to help. Meanwhile he was coming down the hill, with his breath too short to be used, and his heart pumped out, and his naked legs covered with blood, and his face as white as birch-bark, and as resolute as iron. Three of his pursuers were in front of the rest, and not more than thirty yards behind him, and each bore a javelin, which he would not throw yet, for fear of missing aim in the rush of it. None of them had seen me, where I sat and watched them, through the bush that sheltered me.

"I saw that they must pass, within a few yards of my lair, so I crawled behind a tree which was feathered with some creepers, and there stood upright, with my double-barrelled shot-gun, which I luckily had brought for the chance of game. Then I gave a little whistle, and the flying man descried me, and turned in that direction. 'Don't stop,' I whispered; and he saw what I meant, and continued down the hill, as if he had not seen me. Then as his three pursuers rushed past the tree, I let out with my fist at the left ear of the nearest one, and sent him sprawling; then I shot the two others as dead as a door-nail, before they could turn to lance me. Big limber fellows they were both; one of them fell forward on his head, and turned a somersault, down the steep ridge he was so hastily descending.

"'On, for your life!' I cried, 'you are too blown to fight. Tell the mate to come with half a dozen men to meet me.' He doubted for a moment about leaving me, but seeing me loading again in all haste, and the rest of his pursuers standing still in great amazement, on he went, and I could hear him panting down the hill. Then as soon as I had loaded, I made after him with speed; seeing which, the other savages set up a fearful whoop, and came rushing down the hill, perhaps three hundred altogether. Two javelins hissed over my head; and then I turned, and dropping on my knee, sent two heavy loads of duck-shot, right into the faces of the foremost. This dropped three or four of them, and the rest stopped again, as if they had never seen a thing like this before; and the roar of the gun among the rocks was not a trifle. Without stopping to load again, on I hastened, and met Bob, and six sturdy fellows, eager for a shot.

"'Not yet,' I cried, 'not until we are aboard; and then let us give them a general salute.'

"All saw the force of this, and as soon as we had lifted the poor runaway into my boat, we pushed off, when somebody exclaimed – 'Why, wherever is poor Tommy?' It was this boy's scream which had so luckily aroused me; and then in his terror he had tumbled on a rock, and lay there stunned, until the present moment. Tommy was a favourite with every one, and it was impossible to leave him to be killed; so the mate, and two others, volunteered to go and fetch him; although it was no small danger, because the savages had rallied, and were coming on again. But we sat ready, with our guns presented, and mis-liking perhaps the look of them the villains hesitated. So our three men brought poor Tommy to the water's edge, and we gave them a good cheer, which they heartily deserved. We saw little Tommy hoisted on the back of Bob McAlister, for his legs had quite failed him; and just as we were stretching out our arms, to ease him in, the savages let fly at us a volley of their javelins.

"'Give it them!' I cried, and every gun rang out with a fine blaze of fire, for the evening was set in. Away scampered every baccy-coloured skin that could; for at least half a score of them could move no more. But alas, they had done for our poor little Tommy! A javelin had passed through his loin, and pinned him to the brave mate's shoulder, so that he was dead in about five minutes. Our men were so enraged, that they longed to land again, and go after the savages; but I would not allow it, with night coming on, and two of our number wounded. So we made for the Saucy Lass, and got on board, tired with our day's work, and very sad about poor little Tommy. Now, my lad, I am not come to the chief part yet; but I can't tell any more, for coughing now. Find something for your mother to be off about, to-morrow; and perhaps if you behave yourself, you shall hear the rest of it."

CHAPTER XXXII.
A PAIR OF BLUE EYES

My mother, who was very sharp about some things, could not have failed to discover from me, or else from Uncle Bill, who was as simple as a child, that he had spent a long time in telling me a portion of one of his manifold adventures; which recalled to my mind, once or twice, the rare doings of that grandest of all rovers, Captain Robinson Crusoe. But when she returned from a very long visit to Mrs. Windsor, she had such a quantity not only to tell, but to give her own opinion on, and to get it confirmed by mine (whenever she could stop), that it was next to impossible for her to look about, as she generally did, or even wait to be talked to, unless it was about the matter she was so wrapped up in. And she declared that she had not heard a quarter of it yet; being forced by her duties here, to come away abruptly – though she could not have had less than five hours there, however well she steered the cabman – and if she could only be sure, that her dear invalid would not miss her so very much, she had promised to go again, and give her very humble advice about many things, to-morrow. It was very painful for her – she confessed that freely – when she remembered what might have been; and £12,125 might better have stopped in the boiling connection, than gone into the meat trade, to buy up opposition. However, her dear boy would not break his heart; had he cared to come forward, he might have put a spoke in somebody's wheel; and there always had been something about Polly, which she would be the last to remind her mother of.

When the coast was quite clear, as Captain. William expressed it, after looking down the "drive," as we called it (which was very nearly twelve yards long, whenever the gate was opened outwards), and receiving a wave from a new white handkerchief – for my dear mother had taken three that day, having wept into her capstrings yesterday – he made his preparations, or directed me to make them, for a very long voyage in the narrative trade. He had three pipes ready, not to smoke them hot, for fear of any tendency towards coughing, and a glass of "regulation," to be served when he made signal, and his little spy-glass handy, that he might see the bus from Hampstead, at a turn of the road a long way up the hill; and he always expected to see sailors on it, and if he saw one, he would be sure to drink his health.

"Tommy," he said in a determined tone; "I mean to have a quid, and no mistake. It is six months now, since I have had a quid. In the pocket of that coat behind the door – "

"But, sir," I answered, looking at him with surprise; "you have been most strictly forbidden to do it. You spoke of it yesterday, and Dr. Flebotham said that congestion at least might ensue. Try to wait till mother comes, and if she allows it – "

"Don't be crafty, Tommy, now. I hate crafty people. Your mother would never allow it, you know well; and my only chance for it is, when she is gone away. Do as I tell you. I am the skipper here. Mutiny, indeed, from a younker just shipped! You won't hear another word, until you bring my knife from the pocket with the yellow button to it, and a cake of Cavendish from the little midship locker. Very good; now cut where I scar my nail. It's not so much the comfort of it that I want, as to keep the throat juicy, and prevent me coughing, from hauling so many dry words out of my hold. Very well done, Tommy; I shall promote you. Now, where did I break my yarn off?"

"About your all getting safe into the ship, sir, with two men wounded, and poor little Tommy dead. And you said, you hadn't come to the best part yet. Though I thought it was very good indeed already."

"Well, my son, you shall hear the rest of it, and judge. As soon as we had brought ourselves round with victuals, for the sake of the hard day we had been through, I sent for the man we had rescued, and held a long talk with him in my cabin. As yet, I have only been able to meet with two men who had the gift of gratitude, and both of those happened to be Welshmen. The name of this man was Rees Edwards; and a smarter hand never went aloft. Welshmen, as a rule, are not first-rate seamen; but when they are good, they beat everything; and Rees Edwards was the best of them I ever came across. His last trip had been in an American bark called the Beaver, engaged in the Beachymess, and sponge-trade, among these Pacific islands. She had struck in the night, on the great coral-reef surrounding these two islands, and a smart breeze from seaward setting in, they had found it impossible to haul her off. A heavy sea got up, and she broached to, with the rocks grinding through her timbers. But the crew contrived to launch their boats, and finding a passage through the reef, made land, and were very soon surrounded by the natives.

"These fellows shammed to be as good as gold at first, (though of course they knew nothing of their lingo) and supplied them with food, and gave them huts to live in, and laid themselves out to be obliging. So that the castaways, eighteen in number, began to go about the place, as if they were at home, and prepared, with the rough tools they could make, to build a craft big enough to carry them away. But suddenly two of their number were missing, and then two more, and then another couple; and the natives endeavoured to persuade them by signs, that these had only wandered away into the woods, and would soon find their way home again. The surviving dozen did their best to hope so, but took more care to keep together, and not to go abroad at all at night.

"But very soon, they found out the horrible meaning of it. For suddenly the savages, having lost all patience, with their appetites whetted by the relish of white flesh, fell upon them in the night, and killed them all but three, leaving nothing but their bones by the morrow night. Those three they kept alive, because they were too thin; until they fattened up two, and devoured them. The third, and last, was our friend Rees Edwards, who fell into a melancholy frame of mind, and refused to grow eatable, upon any kind of ration. So they put him in the temple, where they kept their chief idol, believing that this would improve his texture, and consecrating him to be sacrificed, whether he were fat, or whether he were lean, upon the appearance of the following moon.

"Edwards, however, was a very clever fellow, and pretending to be altogether resigned to his fate, obtained some privileges, as a holy man now, and devoted to the glory of their great idol, Jumbilug. He kept a sharp watch upon the moon as well; and took strengthening victuals, as he saw her getting thinner. He had learned a good deal of their lingo by this time, and found out from them about the white man's fort, over against the further end of that island. And the very night before the new moon would appear, he slipped through a hole, which he had long been boring in the mud wall of the joss-house, and escaped into the woods, with a long start of his enemies. He made his way eastward by the stars, till sunrise, and eastward the whole of the following day, with his enemies upon his track, as you have heard already.

"'Now, captain,' he said, when his tale was finished; 'you have done me the best turn one man can do another; and I wish I could make you some small return. Jumbilug is the finest woman I ever saw; and it would not be so very hard to run away with her.'

"I told him, that this was not in my line at all, having always been shy of the sex; except to make a joke, or pass a compliment. But he laughed, and said —

"'No fear of her tongue, captain, although she has got a very handsome one; and her teeth are all pearls, and her lips are coral, and her eyes are as blue as the sky, and much brighter, and her hair is spun gold; you never saw such a beauty.'

"'I don't care a d – n for all that,' I replied, 'a woman aboard is the devil himself.'

"But, when I found that all these beauties were real, and could have no deception about them, (because the fair woman was made of wood) I became very eager to possess these charms, if it might be done, without fool-hardiness. Edwards assured me, that with a little dash, and management, it might well be done; for Jumbilug's house was a good bit away from the town of these savages, and very near the sea. And if we desired to punish the barbarians – as every man John of us burned to do – for the murder of poor little Tommy, and the massacre, roasting, and devouring of seventeen helpless white men, nothing could be such a desperate blow to them, as to lose their idol. For generation, after generation, had spent their best treasures in adorning her.

"'If she's worth a penny, she's worth £50,000; and they'd rather lose their biggest chief, and all their wives, and daughters. I'm no judge of jewels, captain, but her eyes are something to beat all female embellishment. They come after you, all over the place, and they shine by night, like a million fire-flies. The tradition of the people is, that they were brought by a bird with great wings, from a country far away; perhaps an old trading ship from Borneo. Anyhow, there they are; and the pearls of teeth, as big as my thumb pretty nearly, and the tongue some red jewel they pick out of the rocks, and the hair spun gold almost down to her waist, and the whole of the breast covered up with fine pearls – ah, you should have seen her when the full moon shone, as it did upon the night when I was dedicated!'

"This description, my dear Tommy, produced a very fine effect upon my mind. I have heard your dear mother say, a hundred times, that nothing is so elevating to the male nature as admiration of a virtuous female. And where could I hope to find any female, half so virtuous as Jumbilug? But I cautioned Rees Edwards, not to let our fellows know, what the value of this fair maiden was.

"'You are right,' he made answer, 'we should lose half her pearls; though the other things won't come out easily at all. When the priest was asleep one night, I just ventured to feel the bright tip of her tongue; but it was firm, anchored in good holding ground. We must have a scheme to bring her off entire, and not let them know that we do it for her value, but for the outrage and cruelty of them. All that we can plan out afterwards; but first find out, whether they are up for it. Of course if they are not, we can't drive them to it.'

"I questioned our fellows about this matter, and found them not only quite ready, but eager, and I might say wild, to go forth upon this venture. And that, not only for the spree, as sailors call it; but with the prospect combined, of revenge for the loss of little Tommy, and of punishing niggers for eating superior flesh, and of bringing back snug bits of plunder, on their own account. For I promised them everything they could lay hold of, and carry away, except Jumbilug herself – not for her value, as I told them plainly, but as a curiosity for a Museum; which might even give me £50 for her. They knew that I had never been a greedy man, and they promised to give me some of their own share, if it should be worth my acceptance.

"Being hard-set for time, we resolved to do it, on the very next night, having made up our minds to keep our allies at the fort outside it, because of the claims they might set up. There would be no moon, and those wretched man-eaters would be all fast asleep, as Rees Edwards told us, within two hours after sunset. They might have set a watch upon the schooner; but they could not see boats at that distance from the shore, and they had no canoes on this side of the point. So we left the wounded men, to mind the craft, with the two brass carronades loaded; and slipped off, all in the yawl this time, ten of us, I think, besides the Welshman, with muffled oars, and all guns loaded.

"By water the distance was less than by land, and with Rees Edwards steering, we made the land, right under the joss-house in about three hours. It was very dark here; for the starlight was shut out, by trees overhanging the water; and leaving two hands to mind the yawl, and just keep her afloat, for all was calm as a duck-pool, nine of us landed with guns and axes, and without a word, made for the temple.

"We found the very hole, by which Edwards had escaped, only roughly stopped with brushwood, which we removed quietly; and then the Welshman entered, and went round the place, knowing every corner of it, as soft as a mouse, and then came back, and whispered —

"'Only the old priest here, and he's snoring in the lobby. Captain, come in, and the rest wait signal.' This had been settled between us; and first we gagged the old priest, and corded him, for he was not a bad fellow, compared with some, and had been pretty good to his captive. Then we rolled up Jumbilug, whose eyes were sparkling, in a piece of sailcloth, which I had brought for the purpose, and we lashed it round her ankles, and above her golden hair. Then we ran to the front gate, and let in our fellows, and they struck a light, and looked about them.

"There was plenty of glitter, and a lot of little images, and Brummagem beads, and bits of glass, and such like, but very little gold – except Jumbilug's own – for the island produced none, I dare say. However, there were pearls upon almost every image, and a lot of lovely shells, and shining spar, and coral. Every man took whatever caught his eye, while Edwards and myself lifted Jumbilug, who was about five feet long, from her pedestal, and carried her – though she was a precious weight – to the boat, and laid her in the stern-sheets. Then we ran back, and fetched out our men, for fear of accidents; and all well-laden made off in high feather. And it was high time, I can tell you, Master Tommy, for we heard a tremendous row, before we turned the point, screeching, and wailing, and the shrieks of women. Perhaps they had seen our lights up in the village, which was not more than half a mile away, and the building had windows in the dome made of talc, or some such half-transparent stuff. We were heartily pleased with our job, and gave them three cheers for their liberality.

"In the morning, we made sail for the fort all pledged to say nothing about our exploit, even to the factor; but every man stowing away his own loot, without any quarrelling about it, and, of course, giving proper share to those outside. But when Rees Edwards came into my cabin, and we unrolled Jumbilug privately, I can tell you that I stared, as I never stared before at any female figure. She was ten times as gorgeous as he had described her; and the wealth of whole ages was in and upon her. I insisted that Edwards should take his fair share, though he laid no claim to anything. We stood her upright against the bulk-head, as handsome as paint, and as bright as a star; and then we looked at her, and she looked at us, as if begging us not to spoil her beauty.

"'First choice to you, captain,' said the Welshman; but I answered, 'No, let us toss for it;' and so we did, and I won, and made choice of her eyes. And then we went on, turn and turn, until there was nothing left but the wooden block; and even that was very clever, I can tell you, and would fetch £50 for a museum, I believe. He got the teeth, which I was very glad of, – a dozen large pearls half as big as my thumb; but I got the golden hair, and made a present of it all, except one lock, to Rob McAlister, who was prouder of it than of his sweetheart. Also I got – but there, what's the use of talking of it? You have heard what careless scattergoods all honest sailors are. There is nothing left of all of it, but only these here; and they'd have gone long ago, but for being in my caul."

Uncle William sighed a little, at the end of his long yarn, as if he should never spin such another; and then, from inside the blue woollen thing he wore on the hoops of his ribs, out he pulled a little packet, something (like a worn-out piece of bladder from a jam-pot) rolled, and tied with yellow silk.

"Open it yourself," he said, "but have a care of my caul, young Tommy, which has saved me fifteen times from drowning; though the Lord knows, I shall never want it any more. This old ship is chartered for a voyage to Kingdom come. Perhaps that Coast-fever has been and spoiled the colour of them. I haven't seen them, now, for a twelvemonth or more; though I feel 'em going into my ribs pretty often. One will be for you, and one for your mother; as soon as you have put me under ground."

"Uncle Bill," I said, "we don't mean to do anything of that kind. You shan't go aloft, as you call it, for forty years yet. Why, what most wonderful things, I declare! What lovely gold, and what amazing stones!"

He looked at me with a very pleasant smile; "Something like your hair, the gold is spun up, Tommy, ain't it? Only yours have got more touch of nut-colour in it. Indian work, that is, I reckon; stolen out of some wreck, with the stones, no doubt. No savage work there, and no English goldsmith, nor French either, could come near it. Mysore, or Tanjore, or Trichinopoly; but I believe the stones must have come from Borneo. At least, so the only knowing man I ever showed them to, thought they must have done, though he couldn't say how; and Jumbilug had worn them for three hundred years, at a rough guess; for ten men's time, the savages told Edwards. He told me, he believed they must be blue diamonds; but I never heard of such things; I call them sapphires. And I wouldn't tell you, what the island is – why, do you think? Because such a Government as we've got now, would insist upon what they call 'restitution.' They'd send out one of them iron pig troughs things they have turned the British navy into to re-build Jumbilug, and fit her up again, with her eyes at our expense; and all the rest at the cost of the British taxpayers; and then give her a Royal salute, and steam away, for fear of hurting the feelings of the natives."

"And perhaps," I replied – for this reminded me of Roly's views upon that subject – "they would put half a hundred of plump Englishmen ashore, as a meet and proper offering to the injured Jumbilug."