A Journal of a Young Man of Massachusetts, 2nd ed.

I slept that night at the Exchange Coffee House. It was so long since I had been cut off from the decencies of life, that I could hardly be said to enjoy them. I could not, at first, reconcile myself to the civil attention of servants and waiters. At the hour of sleep, I was shown to such a bed as I used to sleep on in my father's house. But who would believe it, that my predominant misery during this night, was a feather bed and a pillow, rendered uneasy because it was soft as down! Yes, astonished reader! I felt about as uneasy in a feather bed, as Mr. Beasly, or any other fine London gentleman would, at laying on a plank, or the ballast of a transport. Such is the power of habit, and such the effect of custom.

The next morning before I left my bed, I pondered over the events and conduct of the preceding day, but not with satisfaction, or self approbation. The seventh chapter of Ecclesiastes came fresh to my mind. I said to myself, adversity and constraint are more favorable to wisdom, than liberty and prosperity; or to express it in better words—"sorrow is better than laughter, for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better;" and for this maxim of wisdom we are indebted to a Jew.

We remained a fortnight longer in Plymouth, and learnt by degrees to relish civility. We were kindly noticed by several good people who seemed to be rather partial to us, Americans, than otherwise. While there, I heard but very little uttered against America, or Americans. We were spoken to, and treated infinitely better than at Halifax. By the time of our embarkation, which was the 23d of April, 1815, we felt considerable attachment to the people about us. We arrived at New-York the 7th of June following, without any thing occurring in the passage worth committing to paper, unless it be to record the striking contrast in our feelings in our passage to and from England.

My sensations on first setting my foot once more on my native soil, were such as I have not power to describe. Tears gushed from my eyes, and had I not been ashamed, I should have kneeled down and kissed the earth of the United States. I believe similar sensations, more or less fervent, fill the bosom of every American, on returning to his own country from British captivity. It is hardly possible that I shall, so long as my faculties remain entire, forget the horrors of the British transports, and several scenes and sufferings at Dartmoor Prison: yet I hope to be able, before I quit this world of contention, to forgive the contempts, the contumely, the starvations and filthiness inflicted on me, and on my countrymen, by an unfeeling enemy, while we remained in his power as prisoners of war.

 
"Return we, from this gloomy view,
To native scenes of fairer hue.
Land of our sires! the Hero's home!
Weary and sick, to thee we come;
The heart fatigued with foreign woes,
On thy fair bosom seeks repose.
Columbia! hope of future times!
Thou wonder of surrounding climes!
Thou last and only resting place
Of Freedom's persecuted race!
Hail to thy consecrated domes!
Thy fruitful fields and peaceful homes.
The hunter, thus, who long has toil'd
O'er mountain rude, and forest wild,
Turns from the dark and cheerless way,
Where howls the savage beast of prey,
To where yon curls of smoke aspire,
Where briskly burns his crackling fire;
Towards his cot delighted moves,
Cheer'd by the voice of those he loves,
And welcom'd by domestic smiles,
Sings cheerly, and forgets his toils."
 

POSTSCRIPT

Some, to whom I had shown my Journal in manuscript, have thought that I had, now and then, expressed my feelings too unguardedly against some of the subjects of Great Britain, and some of my own countrymen. In consequence of this friendly remark, I have struck out a few passages, but have not been able to comply with all the wishes of my connexions. But, after all, had a political cant phrase or two been omitted, some good people would have been gratified, and the publication not the worse for it. I have severely suffered, felt keenly, and expressed myself honestly, and without malice. I may not have made due allowance for the conduct of certain officers and agents. I may not have entered, as far as I ought, into their situations; and there might have been reasons and excuses, that my chafed feelings prevented me from attending to. If so, the cool and candid reader, both here, and on the other side the Atlantic, will make that allowance which I could hardly make myself. I must, nevertheless, maintain, that I have expressed the feelings of the moment, and cannot now honestly alter my language; for whenever my soul calls up many occurrences in my captivity, my tongue and my pen will be found the faithful organs of my feelings.

I have endeavored to give due credit to the humane conduct of several sailors, soldiers, and private subjects of the enemy. But, if, at this period of peace, when it may be supposed that resentment was cooled down, I try to obliterate the impressions made by cruelty and by contempt, and find I cannot, then must the reader take it as a trait of the imperfect character of a young man, on whose mind adversity has not had its best effect.

If an animosity actually exists between the English and Americans, do you mend the matter by denying the fact? This animosity has been avowed to exist, within a few months past, in the parliament of England. The following article is extracted from a London paper.—In a debate, (Feb. 14th, 1816) a member said, "the spirit of animosity in America, would justify an increase of the naval force in the West Indies." This called up Lord Castlereagh, who said—"As to America, if it is said great prejudices exist there against us, it must be recollected that great prejudices exist here against her. It was," he said, "his most ardent wish to discountenance this feeling on both sides, and to promote between the two nations feeling of reciprocal amity and regard."

What has occasioned this avowed animosity in us towards the British? Our merchants, generally, feel not this animosity; neither is it to be found, in a great degree, amongst our legislators. How came we by it? Our sailors and our soldiers, who have been in British prisons, and on board British men of war, and transports, have brought with them this animosity home to their families and their friends. They tell them their own stories, in their own artless, and sometimes exaggerated way; and these are reported with, probably, high coloring; whereas, I have made it a point of honor, a matter of conscience, and a rule of justice, to adhere to truth; and am contented that the British reader should say all that fairness admits, to soften down the coloring of some of the pictures of British barbarity, provided he does not attempt to impeach my veracity.

Beside individual animosity, there may possibly be a lurking national one, thinly covered over with the fashionable mantle of courtesy. The conflicting interests of the two nations may endanger peace.—The source of national aggrandizement in both nations, is commerce; and the high road to them the ocean. We and the British are travelling the same way, in keen pursuit of the same object; and it is scarcely probable, that we shall be preserved in a state of peace, by abstract love of justice.

I have been disposed to allow that the conduct of our countrymen, while on board the prison ships, and at Dartmoor, was, at times, provoking to the British officers set over them; but never malignant, much less, bloody. It could be always traced to a spirit of fun and frolic, which our people indulge in beyond all others in the world; and this ought to be considered as one of the luxuriant shoots of our tree of liberty; for it is too harsh to call it an excrescence. It shows the strength, depth and extent of its roots, and the richness of the soil.

This Journal has not been published to increase the animosity now subsisting between the American and British people. So far from it, the writer pleases himself with the idea that this publication may remedy the evils complained of, or mitigate them; and cut off the source of deep complaint against the English, for their treatment of prisoners, should war rage again between the two nations. If the present race of Britons have not become indifferent to a sense of national character, their government will take measures to wipe off this stain from her garments. Let the nations of Europe inquire how the Americans treat their prisoners of war. If we treat them with barbarity, publish our disgrace to the wide world, and speak of us accordingly. But let them, at the same time, inquire how the English treated those of us who have had the great misfortune of falling into their hands; and let them be spoken of accordingly. My serious opinion is, that this little book will aid the great cause of humanity.

Although I, with some thousands of my countrymen, were inclosed in a large prison during the greater part of the war, it fared with us as with those people who seldom go out of their houses, who hear more news than those who are abroad in the world. It was, however, pretty much all of one sort; for we seldom saw any other American newspapers, than those of the fault finding, or opposition party. These were generally filled with abuse of the President, and of the government generally, and with praises of the English, which, in our situation, produced a strong sensation; as our support, our protection, our pride, our honor, were identified in the person of the President, and his administration. The efforts of the federal party in Massachusetts to embarrass and tie the hands of our government, and disgrace its brave officers, created in us all, a hatred of the very name of federalism. I record the fact, and appeal to all the prisoners who have now returned home, to confirm my assertion; and I declare I have erased not a little on this head, out of courtesy to a large and sanguine party; who have erred, and strayed from the right way, by not knowing the true character of the English.

I feel no animosity, or disrespect to any gentleman of the federal, or fault finding party; but they must excuse me for remarking, that their conduct, and their sentiments, as they appeared in messages, proclamations, speeches and resolves; and their combinations for withholding loans of money from government, with their denunciations of a war, waged professedly, and as we knew, really, for "Sailors' Rights," made an impression on our minds so decidedly against the federalists, that the very term federalism, was with us all, without one single exception, a term of deep reproach. Let him who doubts it, ask any prisoner who made a part of the six thousand confined in England during the two years of our late bitter war with the English, and he will be satisfied that I have "nothing extenuated, or set down aught in malice."

I hope and pray for union among ourselves; and that all party names and distinctions may be lost in that of AMERICANS.

 
"Henceforth, let Whig and Tory cease,
And turn all party rage to peace;
Rouse, and revive your ancient glory,
UNITE, and drive the world before you!"