The Mills & Boon Sparkling Christmas Collection

Samantha always had that polished look and Ben had been aware of the admiring glances when she walked into a room. She exuded confidence and always knew the right things to say to the right people. They ate in the best restaurants, got their hands on the impossible-to-get-tickets for the theatre, and received endless invitations to dinner parties. She talked about her work. A lot. Whereas Ben wanted to forget about work at the end of each day, Samantha would happily dissect her day, her colleagues, her chances of promotion.

Now with distance and time between him and his old life, Ben could see with the money he earned he’d also bought into a certain way of life. Samantha and the lifestyle were a by-product of the money he earned and he had gone along with it. He had functioned, done what he had to do. It was only after his mother died he admitted to himself just how unhappy he’d become.

Samantha had never come with Ben to visit his mother on Sunday, preferring to go to the gym and meet her friends to hang out at one of their trendy eating places. Ben hadn’t minded – she worked hard all week and he certainly didn’t expect her to accompany him each weekend.

But over time, as the visits grew more difficult and Ben watched his mother deteriorate, something within him began to change. He was painfully aware that when he lost his mother he would have no family, nothing to stay in London for except Samantha. A vision of the future began to form in his mind. He dreamed of leaving his job in the city, returning to academia, and starting a family. The dream had sustained him on the darkest days and made the visits more bearable.

The day of his mother’s funeral was the worst of his life. Rain fell from black clouds as he thanked friends and the care workers from the care home who had attended. But of course there had been no family to share his grief and Ben had felt a terrible darkness in his heart.

It had been his birthday the following week and to his dismay Samantha had produced tickets for a day at the races for them. ‘Something to cheer you up,’ she told him. The idea of going was bad enough; that she had misread his mood so badly was even worse.

Even so, when he told her about being in touch with Professor Drummond and the idea of starting afresh in Scotland she had initially been all in favour. Now he knew the move for Samantha had been about her career. Her dream had been about setting up a business and when a better offer came along, she had simply taken it.

He inhaled deeply, staring out of the car window, reminding himself that was all behind him, all in the past. They had come off the motorway now and the traffic had started to slow as they made their way to the university through Glasgow’s west end. Kat tapped her manicured nails on the steering wheel and Ben smiled to himself. She was impatient to get wherever it was she was going. An image of Eva’s hands came to his mind. They didn’t looked manicured; they looked hard-working and natural.

‘So, I take it you’re going to the ceilidh?’ Kat broke into his reflections.

He nodded. ‘I don’t think we have much choice in the matter. Hasn’t the Professor issued a three-line whip?’

‘Sounds like fun – we can go together if you’d like?’

He would go for the Professor, of course, but the thought of the evening wasn’t holding much appeal for Ben at the moment. He wasn’t exactly feeling sociable.

Kat looked at him expectantly when he didn’t respond immediately. For some reason thoughts of Eva filled his head again and the words left his mouth before he’d thought it through.

‘Thanks, but actually I’m already bringing someone.’

‘Oh?’ Kat threw him a cool look. ‘Well, I guess I’ll need to find someone else then.’

Chapter Nine

‘Ta-dah!’

With a flourish, Eva revealed the cake she had made for Fraser’s twelfth birthday party. Heather looked in admiration at Eva’s butter icing creation, complete with glitter sugar and chocolate sprinkles.

‘Wow, that looks great, thanks.’ She beamed at her friend gratefully. Eva placed it on the table in Heather’s dining room already groaning with sandwiches, sausage rolls, biscuits, and bowls of sweets.

‘Are you sure you’ll manage with all these boys in your house?’ Eva asked as Jamie took off in the direction of what sounded like general mayhem.

‘Are you kidding? I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I didn’t have a house full of testosterone. Plus I have my secret weapon.’ She peeked opened a cupboard door, pointed to a bottle of Merlot, and shut the door again. Heather’s husband Douglas emerged from the kitchen holding a giant helium balloon, emblazoned with Happy 12th Birthday, and greeted Eva with a peck on the cheek.

‘It’s too late for me but you should escape while you can,’ he implored Eva before Heather shooed him away.

‘Honestly, I can stay and help if you want.’ Eva giggled.

‘Nope, I’ve got it all covered. Food, films, and sleepover although I doubt much sleeping will get done.’

‘Sounds perfect.’

‘What about you? What will you do?’

‘All sorted. I also have a bottle of wine and I’m sure there’s an episode of Friends I haven’t seen fifty times yet.’

‘Really? Nothing else you’d rather do?’

‘Like?’

‘A gorgeous woman like you, a night of freedom. The possibilities are endless …’

Eva rolled her eyes at her friend.

‘Okay, I know. But you will be all right won’t you?’ Heather asked with genuine concern, fully aware how nervous Eva was being separated from her son.

‘Don’t worry about me, I’ll be all right,’ Eva reassured her.

‘And Jamie will be too. I promise I’ll look after him.’

‘I know you will.’

‘Anyway, have you not seen the forecast?’ she said tipping crisps into a bowl. ‘A storm warning’s been issued for the east coast. You’d better get going.’

Eva made her way back to her car, a little shiver running down her spine as she looked up at the sky, which had grown ominously dark. The drive home was a nightmare. Within minutes of leaving Heather’s house the rain had started and was lashing against the windscreen and bouncing off the road. Gripping the steering wheel she negotiated the massive puddles that had sprung out of nowhere, vaguely listening to a voice on the radio explaining the weather system responsible for the storm and predicting worse to come.

Relieved when she finally reached home, Eva slammed the front door gratefully behind her. She spent the rest of the afternoon securing everything outside and making sure the chicken coop was safe. Hamish ran around manically, refusing to leave the garden, and looked up at Eva accusingly. ‘They’ll be fine,’ she reassured him.

In her living room Eva lit the log burner and poured herself a glass of wine, determined to try and relax despite the wind howling down the chimney and buffeting the windows. She’d be fine tonight on her own, she told herself, but deep down she wasn’t looking forward to it. She knew other mums who would relish having a night to themselves but it filled Eva with dread.

Suddenly, the lights flickered on and off. Poor Heather. She could imagine the boys at the sleepover were probably hyper by now. She took several large sips of wine as she flicked through the channels deciding what to watch. The remote almost flew out her hand when Hamish, with some canine instinct for impending doom, let out an almighty whine at the precise moment the room plunged into darkness. Only a small light given out by the fire remained; other than that everything was black.

Eva froze for a moment wondering what to do. Surely it would only take a few moments to restore power? Carefully she made her way over to the window to look outside but couldn’t see a single light from anywhere. The sky was suddenly illuminated by a flash of light and Eva quickly turned from the window and gathered Hamish up as the inevitable roll of thunder followed.

Remembering the supply of candles she kept in the hall cupboard, she went in search of them. She felt her way along the wall using the light from her phone, Hamish following behind her. Eva’s heart hammered in her chest as she fumbled her way around, finding candles and matches and lighting as many as she could. She took another mouthful of wine, telling herself not to be ridiculous. Every bone in her body seemed to jump when she heard knocking at the door. She picked up Hamish again and held him close as the wind and rain rushed in through the open the door.

Ben stood there and the sight of him almost made Eva weep. Whether from relief that he wasn’t a crazed psychopath or that his solid, muscular form filled the doorway she didn’t know. He spoke but the roar of the wind made it impossible to hear properly. She gestured for him to come in and quickly closed the door behind him, leaning her back against it. In the hallway he seemed huge, the darkness somehow enhancing his presence.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ she replied, surprised to hear the shakiness in her own voice.

‘Where’s Jamie?’

‘He’s at a sleepover.’ The thought that he might be here to check on them was as unsettling as it was unexpected. She really didn’t want to sit through this storm alone and the several swigs of wine she had consumed gave her enough courage to ask him to stay. ‘Would you like to come in for a while?’ Eva braced herself for a polite decline but to her relief he smiled.

‘It’s not a night for being alone,’ he replied.

The last time she’d seen Ben he was being whisked away by his colleague and since then Eva had distracted herself by pouring all her energy into sanding and varnishing the floorboards. She felt slightly foolish now for thinking there might be something between them. Seeing him with his colleague and discovering he’d been a city trader, she realized she didn’t have him figured out at all. Finding him so attractive – what woman wouldn’t after all – and easy to talk to didn’t amount to really knowing him.

Eva led the way into the front room and realized she may have gone slightly overboard with the candles, the flickering lights suddenly looking more like the setting for a romantic seduction than one for making polite conversation with your neighbour. Eva watched Ben’s dark silhouette make its way to the sofa.

Depositing Hamish back down on the floor she asked Ben if he’d like a glass of wine.

‘Sure, thanks,’ he said.

Feeling more accustomed to the dark, Eva brought another glass from the sideboard and sat down beside Ben. She poured him a glass and topped up her own just as another gust of wind shook the window, prompting a pathetic cry from Hamish. Ignoring her normal no-dog-on-sofa rule, she allowed him to jump up between them, thankful for the small canine barrier between her and Ben. Hamish nuzzled closer to Ben, clearly happy to relinquish his role as alpha male.

‘Was it Jamie who wanted a dog?’ Ben asked chattily.

Eva nodded. ‘He kept asking and I kept resisting because of the business. But eventually I gave in. I’m not sure if Jamie chose Hamish or Hamish chose Jamie, but it was love at first sight. So now Hamish is part of our family – and totally useless in an emergency as he has proved tonight.’

‘Well I’m here now, Hamish, so you’re off the hook.’ He ruffled Hamish’s fur, his words making Eva feel all warm inside for some reason. She reached for her glass thinking she should probably slow down just as her phone pinged. Grabbing it, she scanned a message from Heather.

‘My friend Heather, letting me know Jamie is fine,’ she told Ben. ‘She’s managed to get through on her mobile to the power company – apparently they’re working on restoring the power but it could take a while.’ Eva tapped out a reply saying she was okay, stifling a giggle imagining Heather’s reaction if she could see her now sitting in the dark with wine, candles, and Ben.

There was a pause and Eva suddenly felt awkward, unsure what to say. It bothered Eva how their last conversation had ended, like a black cloud hanging between them. She tried to picture him as a city trader but just couldn’t do it – something didn’t sit right about it. But she certainly hadn’t meant to sound so disparaging. She glanced over at him now, rubbing Hamish’s ear.

Maybe it was the darkness, but she felt acutely aware of how close he was to her and her senses seemed to be in overdrive. She really wished she didn’t notice the way the candlelight danced across his features, casting a shadow over his cheekbones and illuminating his dark eyes. Maybe it was the wine and she hoped she wouldn’t regret bringing up the topic again but suddenly she needed to apologize.

‘You know, when you told me you worked in the city, I – I didn’t mean to sound judgemental. I’m sorry.’ There was silence and Eva realized she was holding her breath.

‘You don’t need to apologize. Working as a trader wasn’t something I ever wanted to do.’ His words filled Eva with relief for some reason and her shoulders loosened.

‘So … why did you do it?’

She heard him exhale in the darkness. ‘It’s a long story.’

‘I’d like to know it,’ she said quietly. ‘If you don’t mind telling me.’

He appeared to contemplate his glass for a moment before slowly setting it down on the table and starting to speak.

‘After I finished my PhD at Oxford I got a job working at the university – teaching and research, which I loved. I’d go home to see my mum as often as I could. She still lived in the house where I grew up near London. She was living a happy active life, working part-time in a local bookshop, seeing friends.’ He paused for a moment before continuing.

‘I began to notice small changes in her but nothing I could put my finger on exactly. When she started to forget things I assumed it was because she was just getting older. But she started to do a few strange things – asking odd questions, losing things, and becoming confused. I had this horrible instinct something wasn’t right. We went to the doctor and that was the start of a whole series of testing.’ He sighed, a deep heart-wrenching sound that made Eva want to reach out and touch him.

‘Eventually she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s.’

‘Oh, Ben, I’m so sorry.’

‘After that, things deteriorated quickly. They put her on various medications, which helped with the confusion but over the next year things became more difficult. I was worried she’d have an accident – she would leave the water on, wander off on her own. I went home as often as I could during the week, even staying the night and leaving early in the morning to get to work.’

‘That must have been terrible.’ Eva blinked, filled with sadness for him.

‘At first I thought about giving up work to look after her but because her immune system was so weak she kept getting infections. It became clear she needed proper medical, intensive, and round-the-clock care. I did a load research and found a specialist care unit reasonably close to where she lived. It was as non-institutionalized as I could find and she’d get the best care. But of course it came at a cost. There was no way my salary at the university would cover it.’ He rolled his shoulders and took a breath.

‘One day I happened to meet an old friend from university who worked in finance. We got chatting and I couldn’t believe how much he was earning. He told me the big financial firms were always on the lookout for analytical thinkers and that he could set me up with an interview.’ He paused again and Eva knew this wasn’t easy for him.

‘So, that’s what I did – I left the university and took a job at an investment bank. It meant I could pay for my mother to receive the care she needed. She lived there for five years until she died. It would have broken her heart if she’d known I’d turned my back on my university career but seeing her suffer more than she had to would have been worse.’

They sat in silence for a few moments, Eva’s heart aching for him, and she placed a hand on his arm.

‘Ben, I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. And I’m sorry for reacting the way I did but now I know why you did it I totally understand. You had a difficult decision to make but you did what you had to so your mother was in the best possible place. Your decision was based on love – anyone can see that.’ Eva lifted her hand from Ben’s arm, instantly missing the warm solid feel of it.

‘And now you’re back working at a university – your mum would be happy about that,’ she said softly.

‘Yeah, she would.’ Eva was relieved to see the briefest of smiles pass over his lips.

A contemplative silence settled over them and Eva sensed Ben seemed more relaxed as he leaned forward, taking the bottle to top up their drinks. He passed Eva her glass and their fingers brushed together, the feel of his skin sending a prickle of heat through her.

‘Jamie told me he’s going on his trip.’ Jamie had taken homework to Ben’s house a couple of times and the arrangement seemed to be working well.

‘To say he’s excited is an understatement.’

‘But you’ll still worry about him.’ It wasn’t a question.

‘I guess that’s what happens when you’re an only parent – you end up doing the worrying for two.’

‘You must miss Jamie’s father?’ Ben spoke gently.

‘I do at times. But mostly I feel sad for Jamie not having his dad and for Paul dying so young.’

‘I’m sure he would be very proud of you both.’

‘Thanks,’ Eva said. ‘We’re doing all right now but when we first arrived it was a different story. I was daunted by what I’d taken on and it didn’t help that my mum took every opportunity to point out she thought I’d made a huge mistake. I think what she really wanted was for me and Jamie to go back to Edinburgh so that she could look after us.’

‘But you didn’t want to?’

‘I know my mum wants the best for me, but let’s just say our ideas of what that might be are very different. The most important thing for me was to be self-sufficient. My dream was to run a business that let me be with Jamie and provide a stable life for him.’

‘And the chickens, the dog, are part of that dream?’ His voice was gently teasing.

‘Safety in numbers I always think.’ She laughed. Tilting her head to the side, she looked at him. ‘What about you – being here, is that your dream?’

His gaze locked on hers and Eva felt as though some invisible force was inching their bodies closer together. He looked at her mouth then back to her eyes, and Eva moved towards him, the desire to touch him overwhelming. And then, like a spell suddenly broken, the lights came back on.

***

His dream? Right here, right now felt like a dream, thought Ben, thankful the lights had saved him from answering. He watched Eva blink as her eyes adjusted to the light. He was sitting tantalizingly close to her, close enough to see the flecks in her green eyes. Curled up on the sofa, he could see she was wearing jeans and a white embroidered top. A simple silver necklace nestled on her collarbone. She looked sleepy and her hair was slightly tousled, a heady mix of vulnerable and sexy. She smiled shyly at him before she unfolded her legs and stretched out her body. She rose from the sofa and went over to the window, Ben watching her every move.

‘The street lights are back on too,’ she told him. Ben forced his gaze from her and surveyed the room. They had been sitting on one of two chunky sofas, scattered with coloured cushions. A low, dark wooden coffee table sat on a wool rug in front of a cast-iron fireplace and in one corner a shelved recess held books and photo frames. Everywhere he looked there was warmth, colour, and texture.

‘Wow. What a great room.’

‘Thanks.’ She looked directly at him, a teasing challenge in her eyes. ‘So you trust me to do a good job in your room?’

‘Implicitly.’ He replied solemnly, hand on his chest.

‘Good. Have you taken a sneaky look at your room – it’s almost finished.’

‘Not recently. Think I’ll wait for the grand reveal.’

‘Okay then, I’ll let you know when that’ll be.’ She gave a small laugh and he loved the sound of it.

Ben knew it was time for him to go but thoughts of the ceilidh entered his head and he knew it was now or never if he was going to ask Eva.

‘Actually, there’s something I wanted to ask you – a favour.’ He hesitated and she smiled at him expectantly. ‘The Professor in our department has organized a ceilidh for St Andrew’s Day – next Friday. It’s for charity and, well, I’m never really comfortable with these work things and wondered if you’d come with me? I know it’s a bit short notice …’

He saw Eva blink in surprise. ‘Me? Why would you ask me?’

‘Well, why wouldn’t I?’

She frowned, giving her head a little shake. ‘I can think of a few reasons. That’s the weekend Jamie’s away. I don’t have anything to wear …’ She seemed to be talking more to herself but then her gaze shifted to Ben, her eyes narrowing slightly.

‘Are you sure there’s not someone else you’d rather go with?’

‘No.’

‘Not someone from the university?’

‘No,’ he replied, puzzled.

‘You’re sure?’

‘Is there something I’m missing here?’

‘I just thought you might want to take your colleague – you know, the one with shiny hair who came to your house?’

Ben frowned before realizing who she meant and then burst out laughing. ‘Kat? God, no.’

‘Really? I thought you two …’

He lifted an eyebrow. ‘Yes?’

‘I’m not sure – that you’d have lots to talk about.’

‘You and I have lots to talk about, don’t we?’

‘But not science-y things.’

He managed to keep a straight face as he replied. ‘That suits me just fine.’

‘Well, if you’re sure.’

‘I’m sure. She’s a colleague, that’s all. I’m happy to show support for her academic aspirations but let’s just say I don’t want to encourage any other aspirations she may have.’

‘And they won’t think you’ve brought your decorator?’

‘I highly doubt it and even if they did, so what?’

Eva was smiling at him now. ‘In that case yes, I’d be happy to come with you.’

He gave his head a small shake, thinking how she was unlike any woman he’d ever met and the prospect of spending time with her sent a surge of anticipation through him, a feeling he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Ben started to make a move to leave, his body feeling strangely reluctant. ‘I guess I better go,’ he said.

‘Um, right. Thanks for coming round, to check we were all right.’

‘You’ll be okay?’

‘Of course. I have Hamish to look after me.’

Ben’s instinct was to stay; he didn’t want to leave her on her own. He wanted to make sure she was safe but like a physical force, he felt a much more primal instinct and decided that staying probably wasn’t a good idea. They made their way through the hall and Ben stopped before he opened the door, their eyes meeting. He lifted his hand and tenderly brushed his finger against her cheek.

‘Goodnight, Eva.’

Ben left Eva’s home and heard the fading rumbles of the storm, his body racked with all sorts of tensions. He doubted he’d get much sleep tonight.