CHAPTER IV.
SAM FRIGHTENS THE HOUSEHOLD
Sam usually slept the whole night through; but to-night was an exception. It might have been because he was in a strange bed, and in a strange house. At any rate, he woke in time to hear the clock on the church, of which his guardian was deacon, strike two.
"Where am I?" was his first thought.
He remembered almost immediately, and the thought made him broad awake. He ought not to have been hungry at that hour, and in fact he was not, but the thought of the pie forced itself upon his mind, and he felt a longing for the slice that was left over from supper. Quick upon this thought came another, "Why couldn't he creep downstairs softly, and get it? The deacon and his wife were fast asleep, Who would find him out?"
A boy better brought up than Sam might have reflected that it was wrong; but, as the deacon said, Sam had no "conceptions of duty," or, more properly, his conscience was not very active. He got out of bed, slipped on his stockings, and crept softly downstairs, feeling his way. It was very dark, for the entries were unlighted, but finally he reached the kitchen without creating any alarm.
Now for the closet. It was not locked, and Sam opened the door without difficulty.
"I wish I had a match, so's to see where the pie is," he thought.
He felt around, but the pie must have been placed elsewhere, for he could not find it. It had really been placed on the highest shelf, which Sam had not as yet explored. But there are dangers in feeling around in the dark. Our hero managed to dislodge a pile of plates, which fell with a crash upon his feet. There was a loud crash of broken crockery, and the noise was increased by the howls of Sam, who danced up and down with pain.
The noise reached the chamber where the deacon and his wife were calmly reposing. Mrs. Hopkins was a light sleeper, and was awakened at once.
She was startled and terrified, and, sitting up in bed, shook her husband violently by the shoulder.
"Deacon – Deacon Hopkins!" she exclaimed.
"What's the matter?" asked the deacon, drowsily.
"Matter enough. There's robbers downstairs."
Now the deacon was broad awake.
"Robbers!" he exclaimed. "Pooh! Nonsense! You're dreamin', wife."
Just then there was another racket. Sam, in trying to effect his escape, tumbled over a chair, and there was a yell of pain.
"Am I dreaming now, deacon?" demanded his wife, triumphantly.
"You're right, wife," said the deacon, turning pale, and trembling.
"It's an awful situation. What shall we do?"
"Do? Go downstairs, and confront the villains!" returned his wife, energetically.
"They might shoot me," said her husband, panic-stricken.
"They're – they're said to be very desperate fellows."
"Are you a man, and won't defend your property?" exclaimed his wife, taunting him, "Do you want me to go down?"
"Perhaps you'd better," said the deacon, accepting the suggestion with alacrity.
"What!" shrieked Mrs. Hopkins. "You are willing they should shoot me?"
"They wouldn't shoot a woman," said the deacon.
But his wife was not appeased.
Just then the unlucky Sam trod on the tail of the cat, who was quietly asleep on the hearth. With the instinct of self-defence, she scratched his leg, which was undefended by the customary clothing, and our hero, who did not feel at all heroic in the dark, not knowing what had got hold of him, roared with pain and fright.
"This is terrible!" gasped the deacon. "Martha, is the door locked?"
"No."
"Then I'll get up and lock it. O Lord, what will become of us?"
Sam was now ascending the stairs, and, though he tried to walk softly, the stairs creaked beneath his weight.
"They're comin' upstairs," exclaimed Mrs. Hopkins. "Lock the door quick, deacon, or we shall be murdered in our bed."
The deacon reached the door in less time than he would have accomplished the same feat in the daytime, and hurriedly locked it.
"It's locked, Martha," he said, "but they may break it down."
"Or fire through the door – "
"Let's hide under the bed," suggested the heroic deacon.
"Don't speak so loud. They'll hear. I wish it was mornin'."
The deacon stood at the door listening, and made a discovery.
"They're goin up into the garret," he announced. "That's strange – "
"What do they want up there, I wonder?"
"They can't think we've got anything valuable up there."
"Deacon," burst out Mrs. Hopkins, with a sudden idea, "I believe we've been fooled."
"Fooled! What do you mean?"
"I believe it isn't robbers."
"Not robbers? Why, you told me it was," said her husband, bewildered.
"I believe it's that boy."
"What, – Sam?"
"Yes."
"What would he want downstairs?"
"I don't know, but it's him, I'll be bound. Light the lamp, deacon, and go up and see."
"But it might be robbers," objected the deacon, in alarm. "They might get hold of me, and kill me."
"I didn't think you were such a coward, Mr. Hopkins," said his wife, contemptuously. When she indulged in severe sarcasm, she was accustomed to omit her husband's title.
"I aint a coward, but I don't want to risk my life. It's a clear flyin' in the face of Providence. You'd ought to see that it is, Martha," said the deacon, reproachfully.
"I don't see it. I see that you are frightened, that's what I see.
Light the lamp, and I'll go up myself."
"Well, Martha, it's better for you to go. They won't touch a woman."
He lighted the lamp, and his wife departed on her errand. It might have been an unconscious action on the part of the deacon, but he locked the door after his wife.
Mrs. Hopkins proceeded to the door of Sam's bed-chamber, and, as the door was unfastened, she entered. Of course he was still awake, but he pretended to be asleep.
"Sam," said Mrs. Hopkins.
There was a counterfeited snore.
"Sam – say!"
Sam took no notice.
The lady took him by the shoulder, and shook him with no gentle hand, so that our hero was compelled to rouse himself.
"What's up?" he asked, rubbing his eyes in apparent surprise.
"I am," said Mrs. Hopkins, shortly, "and you have been."
"I!" protested Sam, innocently. "Why, I was sound asleep when you came in. I don't know what's been goin on. Is it time to get up?"
"What have you been doing downstairs?" demanded Mrs. Hopkins, sternly.
"Who says I've been downstairs?" asked Sam.
"I'm sure you have. I heard you."
"It must have been somebody else."
"There is no one else to go down. Neither the deacon nor myself has been down."
"Likely it's thieves."
But Mrs. Hopkins felt convinced, from Sam's manner, that he was the offender, and she determined to make him confess it.
"Get up," she said, "and go down with me."
"I'm sleepy," objected Sam.
"So am I, but I mean to find out all about this matter."
Sam jumped out of bed, and unwillingly accompanied Mrs. Hopkins downstairs. The latter stopped at her own chamber-door, and tried to open it.
"Who's there?" asked the deacon, tremulously.
"I am," said his wife, emphatically.
"So you locked the door on your wife, did you, because you thought there was danger. It does you great credit, upon my word."
"What have you found out?" asked her husband, evading the reproach.
"Was it Sam that made all the noise?"
"How could I," said Sam, "when I was fast asleep?"
"I'm goin to take him down with me to see what mischief's done," said Mrs. Hopkins. "Do you want to go too?"
The deacon, after a little hesitation, followed his more courageous spouse, at a safe distance, however, – and the three entered the kitchen, which had been the scene of Sam's noisy exploits. It showed traces of his presence in an overturned chair. Moreover, the closet-door was wide open, and broken pieces of crockery were scattered over the floor.
A light dawned upon Mrs. Hopkins. She had solved the mystery!
CHAPTER V.
SAM COMBINES BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE
"You came down after that pie," she said, turning upon Sam..
"What pie?" asked Sam, looking guilty, however.
"Don't ask me. You know well enough. You couldn't find it in the dark, and that's the way you came to make such a noise. Ten of my nice plates broken, too! What do you say to that, Deacon Hopkins?"
"Samuel," said the deacon, "did you do this wicked thing?"
A moment's reflection convinced Sam that it would be idle to deny it longer. The proofs of his guilt were too strong. He might have plead in his defence "emotional insanity," but he was not familiar with the course of justice in New York. He was, however, fertile in expedients, and thought of the next best thing.
"Mebbe I walked in my sleep," he admitted.
"Did you ever walk in your sleep?" asked the deacon, hastily.
"Lots of times," said Sam.
"It is rather strange you should go to the closet in your sleep," said Mrs. Hopkins, suspiciously. "I suppose, if you'd found it, you'd have eaten it in your sleep."
"Likely I should," said Sam. "I was dreamin' of the pie. You know how to make pie, Mrs. Hopkins; I never tasted so good before."
Mrs. Hopkins was not a soft woman, but she was proud of her cooking, and accessible to flattery on that subject. Sam could not have defended himself better.
"That may be," she said, "about your walking in your sleep; but once is enough. Hereafter I'll lock your door on the outside. I can't be waked up every night, nor I can't have my plates broken."
"S'pose the house should catch fire," suggested Sam, who didn't fancy being locked up in his room.
"If it does, I'll come and let you out. The house is safer when you're safe in bed."
"My wife is right, Samuel," said the deacon, recovering his dignity now that his fears were removed. "You must be locked in after to-night."
Sam did not reply. On the whole, he felt glad to get off so well, after alarming the house so seriously.
"Do you mean to stay downstairs all night, Deacon Hopkins?" demanded his wife, with uncalled-for asperity. "If so, I shall leave you to yourself."
"I'm ready to go up when you are," said her husband. "I thought you mightn't feel like stayin' down here alone."
"Much protection you'd be in time of danger, Mr. Hopkins, – you that locked the door on your wife, because you was afraid!"
"I wasn't thinkin'," stammered the deacon.
"Probably not," said his wife, in an incredulous tone. "Now go up.
It's high time we were all in bed again."
Sam was not called at as early an hour as the deacon intended. The worthy man, in consequence of his slumbers being interrupted, overslept himself, and it was seven o'clock when he called Sam.
"Get up, Samuel," he said; "it's dreadful late, and you must be spry, or you won't catch up with the work."
Work, however, was not prominent in Sam's mind, as his answer showed.
"Is breakfast ready?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.
"It's most ready. Get right up, for it's time to go to work."
"I 'spose we'll have breakfast first," said Sam.
"If it's ready."
Under these circumstances, Sam did not hurry. He did not care to work before breakfast, nor, for that matter, afterwards, if he could help it. So he made a leisurely, though not an elaborate toilet, and did not come down till Mrs. Hopkins called sharply up the attic stairs, "Come down, you Sam!"
"All right, ma'am, I'm comin'," said Sam, who judged rightly that breakfast was ready.
"We shan't often let you sleep so late," said Mrs. Hopkins, who sat behind the waiter. "We were broken of our rest through your cutting up last night, and so we overslept ourselves."
"It's pretty early," said Sam.
"We'd ought to have been at work in the field an hour ago," said the deacon.
At the table Sam found work that suited him better.
"You've got a good appetite," said Mrs. Hopkins, as Sam took the seventh slice of bread.
"I most generally have," said Sam, with his mouth full.
"That's encouraging, I'm sure," said Mrs. Hopkins, drily.
There was no pie on the table, as Sam noticed, to his regret. However, he was pretty full when he rose from the table.
"Now, Samuel, you may come along with me," said the deacon, putting on his hat.
Sam followed him out to the barn, where, in one corner, were kept the hoes, rakes, and other farming implements in use.
"Here's a hoe for you," said the deacon.
"What are we going to do?" asked Sam.
"The potatoes need hoeing. Did you ever hoe potatoes?"
"No."
"You'll l'arn. It aint hard."
The field was some, little distance from the house, – a two-acre lot wholly devoted to potatoes.
"I guess we'll begin at the further corner," said the deacon. "Come along."
When they had reached the part of the field specified, the deacon stopped.
"Now," said he, "just see how I do it;" and he carefully hoed around one of the hills.
"There, you see it's easy."
"I guess I can do it. Are you goin to stay here?"
"No, I've got to go to the village, to the blacksmith's. I'll be back in about two hours. Jest hoe right along that row, and then come back again on the next. Do you understand?"
"Yes," said Sam.
"I want you to work as spry as you can, so's to make up for lost time."
"What time do you have dinner?" asked our hero.
"You aint hungry so quick, be you?"
"No, but I shall be bimeby. I thought I'd like to know when to quit work, and go to dinner."
"I'll be back before that. You needn't worry about that."
The deacon turned, and directed his steps homeward.
As long as he was in sight Sam worked with tolerable speed. But when the tall and stooping figure had disappeared from view he rested, and looked around him.
"It'll be a sight of work to hoe all them potatoes," he said to himself. "I wonder if the old man expects me to do the whole. It'll be a tough job."
Sam leisurely hoed another hill.
"It's gettin' hot," he said. "Why don't they have trees to give shade?
Then it would be more comfortable."
He hoed another hill, taking a little longer time.
"I guess there must be a million hills," he reflected, looking around him thoughtfully. "It'll take me from now till next winter to hoe 'em all."
At the rate Sam was working, his calculation of the time it would take him was not far out probably.
He finished another hill.
Just then a cat, out on a morning walk, chanced to pass through the field a few rods away. Now Sam could never see a cat without wanting to chase it, – a fact which would have led the cat, had she been aware of it, to give him a wide berth. But, unluckily, Sam saw her.
"Scat!" he exclaimed, and, grasping his hoe, he ran after puss.
The cat took alarm, and, climbing the wall which separated the potato-field from the next, sped over it in terror. Sam followed with whoops and yells, which served to accelerate her speed. Occasionally he picked up a stone, and threw at her, and once he threw the hoe in the excitement of his chase. But four legs proved more than a match for two, and finally he was obliged to give it up, but not till he had run more than quarter of a mile. He sat down to rest on a rock, and soon another boy came up, with a fishing-pole over his shoulder.
"What are you doing, Sam?" he asked.
"I've been chasin' a cat," said Sam.
"Didn't catch her, did you?"
"No, hang it."
"Where'd you get that hoe?"
"I'm to work for Deacon Hopkins. He's took me. Where are you goin?"
"A-fishing."
"I wish I could go."
"So do I. I'd like company."
"Where are you goin to fish?"
"In a brook close by, down at the bottom of this field."
"I'll go and look on a minute or two. I guess there isn't any hurry about them potatoes."
The minute or two lengthened to an hour and a half, when Sam roused himself from his idle mood, and shouldering his hoe started for the field where he had been set to work.
It was full time. The deacon was there before him, surveying with angry look the half-dozen hills, which were all that his young assistant had thus far hoed.
"Now there'll be a fuss," thought Sam, and he was not far out in that calculation.
CHAPTER VI.
SAM'S SUDDEN SICKNESS
"Where have you been, you young scamp?" demanded the deacon, wrathfully.
"I just went away a minute or two," said Sam, abashed.
"A minute or two!" ejaculated the deacon.
"It may have been more," said Sam. "You see I aint got no watch to tell time by."
"How comes it that you have only got through six hills all the morning?" said the deacon, sternly.
"Well, you see, a cat came along – " Sam began to explain.
"What if she did?" interrupted the deacon. "She didn't stop your work, did she?"
"Why, I thought I'd chase her out of the field."
"What for?"
"I thought she might scratch up some of the potatoes," said Sam, a brilliant excuse dawning upon him.
"How long did it take you to chase her out of the field, where she wasn't doing any harm?"
"I was afraid she'd come back, so I chased her a good ways."
"Did you catch her?"
"No, but I drove her away. I guess she won't come round here again," said Sam, in the tone of one who had performed a virtuous action.
"Did you come right back?"
"I sat down to rest. You see I was pretty tired with running so fast."
"If you didn't run any faster than you have worked, a snail would catch you in half a minute," said the old man, with justifiable sarcasm. "Samuel, your excuse is good for nothing. I must punish you."
Sam stood on his guard, prepared to run if the deacon should make hostile demonstrations. But his guardian was not a man of violence, and did not propose to inflict blows. He had another punishment in view suited to Sam's particular case.
"I'll go right to work," said Sam, seeing that no violence was intended, and hoping to escape the punishment threatened, whatever it might be.
"You'd better," said the deacon.
Our hero (I am afraid he has not manifested any heroic qualities as yet) went to work with remarkable energy, to the imminent danger of the potato-tops, which he came near uprooting in several instances.
"Is this fast enough?" he asked.
"It'll do. I'll take the next row, and we'll work along together. Take care, – I don't want the potatoes dug up."
They kept it up for an hour or more, Sam working more steadily, probably, than he had ever done before in his life. He began to think it was no joke, as he walked from hill to hill, keeping up with the deacon's steady progress.
"There aint much fun about this," he thought. "I don't like workin' on a farm. It's awful tiresome."
"What's the use of hoein' potatoes?" he asked, after a while. "Won't they grow just as well without it?"
"No," said the deacon.
"I don't see why not."
"They need to have the earth loosened around them, and heaped up where it's fallen away."
"It's a lot of trouble," said Sam.
"We must all work," said the deacon, sententiously.
"I wish potatoes growed on trees like apples," said Sam. "They wouldn't be no trouble then."
"You mustn't question the Almighty's doin's, Samuel," said the deacon, seriously. "Whatever he does is right."
"I was only wonderin', that was all," said Sam.
"Human wisdom is prone to err," said the old man, indulging in a scrap of proverbial philosophy.
"What does that mean?" thought Sam, carelessly hitting the deacon's foot with his descending hoe. Unfortunately, the deacon had corns on that foot, and the blow cost him a sharp twinge.
"You careless blockhead!" he shrieked, raising the injured foot from the ground, while a spasm of anguish contracted his features. "Did you take my foot for a potato-hill?"
"Did I hurt you?" asked Sam, innocently.
"You hurt me like thunder," gasped the deacon, using, in his excitement, words which in calmer moments he would have avoided.
"I didn't think it was your foot," said Sam.
"I hope you'll be more careful next time; you most killed me."
"I will," said Sam.
"I wonder if it isn't time for dinner," he began to think presently, but, under the circumstances, thought it best not to refer to the matter. But at last the welcome sound of the dinner-bell was heard, as it was vigorously rung at the back door by Mrs. Hopkins.
"That's for dinner, Samuel," said the deacon. "We will go to the house."
"All right!" said Sam, with alacrity, throwing down the hoe in the furrow.
"Pick up that hoe, and carry it with you," said the deacon.
"Then we won't work here any more to-day!" said Sam, brightening up.
"Yes, we will; but it's no way to leave the hoe in the fields. Some cat might come along and steal it," he added, with unwonted sarcasm.
Sam laughed as he thought of the idea of a cat stealing a hoe, and the deacon smiled at his own joke.
Dinner was on the table. It was the fashion there to put all on at once, and Sam, to his great satisfaction, saw on one side a pie like that which had tempted him the night before. The deacon saw his look, and it suggested a fitting punishment. But the time was not yet.
Sam did ample justice to the first course of meat and potatoes. When that was despatched, Mrs. Hopkins began to cut the pie.
The deacon cleared his throat.
"Samuel is to have no pie, Martha," he said.
His wife thought it was for his misdeeds of the night before, and so did Sam.
"I couldn't help walkin' in my sleep," he said, with a blank look of disappointment.
"It aint that," said the deacon.
"What is it, then?" asked his wife.
"Samuel ran away from his work this mornin', and was gone nigh on to two hours," said her husband.
"You are quite right, Deacon Hopkins," said his wife, emphatically.
"He don't deserve any dinner at all."
"Can't I have some pie?" asked Sam, who could not bear to lose so tempting a portion of the repast.
"No, Samuel. What I say I mean. He that will not work shall not eat."
"I worked hard enough afterwards," muttered Sam.
"After I came back – yes, I know that. You worked well part of the time, so I gave you part of your dinner. Next time let the cats alone."
"Can I have some more meat, then?" asked Sam.
"Ye-es," said the deacon, hesitating. "You need strength to work this afternoon."
"I s'pose I get that catechism this afternoon instead of goin to work," suggested Sam.
"That will do after supper, Samuel. All things in their place. The afternoon is for work; the evening for readin' and study, and improvin' the mind."
Sam reflected that the deacon was a very obstinate man, and decided that his arrangements were very foolish. What was the use of living if you'd got to work all the time? A good many people, older than Sam, are of the same opinion, and it is not wholly without reason; but then, it should be borne in mind that Sam was opposed to all work. He believed in enjoying himself, and the work might take care of itself. But how could it be avoided?
As Sam was reflecting, a way opened itself. He placed his hand on his stomach, and began to roll his eyes, groaning meanwhile.
"What's the matter?" asked Mrs. Hopkins.
"I feel sick," said Sam, screwing up his face into strange contortions.
"It's very sudden," said Mrs. Hopkins, suspiciously.
"So 'tis," said Sam. "I'm afraid I'm going to be very sick. Can I lay down?"
"What do you think it is, Martha?" asked the deacon, looking disturbed.
"I know what it is," said his wife, calmly. "I've treated such attacks before. Yes, you may lay down in your room, and I'll bring you some tea, as soon as I can make it."
"All right," said Sam, elated at the success of his little trick. It was very much pleasanter to lie down than to hoe potatoes on a hot day.
"How easy I took in the old woman!" he thought.
It was not long before he changed his mind, as we shall see in The next chapter.