The Jingle Book

The Roll of Roly Poly Roy

 
Once on a time a lad I knew—
His sister called him Bubby;
His cheeks were red, his eyes were blue,
And he was plump and chubby.
Indeed, he was so stout a boy,
Some called him Roly Poly Roy;
They called him that
For he was fat
And very plump and chubby.
 

 
He caused his father grief profound,
And made his mother worry,
Because he’d roll along the ground
When he was in a hurry.
For as he couldn’t see his toes,
He often tumbled on his nose;
So, on the whole,
’Twas best to roll
When he was in a hurry.
 
 
“Get up!” the people urged, but he
Replied, “There’s no use talking;
I roll around because, you see,
It’s easier than walking.”
And though it looked extremely droll
To see the lad lie down and roll,
It was, forsooth,
For that fat youth
Far easier than walking.
 

 
One day he thought he’d try to ride;
Alas, he was so bulky,
He tumbled off the other side,
Which made him rather sulky.
He heard his comrades jeer and scoff,
Again he tried and tumbled off,
And when he fell
They’d shout and yell—
Of course it made him sulky.
 
 
Just out of town there was a place
With rolling ground and hilly,
And here Roy started for a race
With Dick and Tom and Willy.
You’ll know of course before you’re told
That Roy just laid him down and rolled;
And so, you see,
He easily
Beat Dick and Tom and Willy.
 
 
That day two giants came along
From Huncamunca Valley,
Seeking some tenpins good and strong
For their new bowling alley.
They reached the hilly sort of place
Just as our hero won the race;
“Look at him roll!”
They said. “He’ll bowl
On our new bowling alley.
 
 
“The other boys are squarely built;
For tenpins they’ll do finely!
No matter if a few get kilt,”
And then they smiled benignly.
Quickly they kidnapped ten small boys,
All howling with a fearful noise;
They took them all,
And Roy for ball,
And then they smiled benignly.
 

 
They hurried to their home and then
Began their barbarous bowling.
They set in rows the children ten
And then set Roy a-rolling.
But as the giants were strong and great,
They shot poor Roy at such a rate,
And with such might,
That out of sight
Poor Roy was set a-rolling.
 

 
He rolled and rolled and rolled and rolled,
But soon, his fears dispelling,
With happiness he did behold
He’d safely reached his dwelling.
Secure and safe from further harms,
His mother caught him in her arms,
And said with joy,
“My darling boy,
You’ve safely reached your dwelling.”
 
 
Now rolling seems to him to be
More dangerous than walking.
And Roly Poly Roy you’ll see
Along the sidewalks stalking.
He’ll always have a certain fear
That giants may be lurking near,
And so he’ll go
With motion slow
Along the sidewalk stalking.
 

My Barometer

 
My little maid with golden hair
Comes each morning for a kiss;
And I know the day will be fine and fair
When Polly looks like this.
 

 
Or I know the clouds will frown and lower,
The skies will be dull and gray,
And perhaps there’ll be a passing shower,
When Polly looks this way.
 

 
But a violent storm of rain or snow
I can prognosticate,
For the sign will never fail, I know,
When this is Polly’s pate.
 

The Butter Betty Bought

 
Betty Botta bought some butter;
“But,” said she, “this butter’s bitter!
If I put it in my batter
It will make my batter bitter.
But a bit o’ better butter
Will but make my batter better.”
Then she bought a bit o’ butter
Better than the bitter butter,
Made her bitter batter better.
So ’twas better Betty Botta
Bought a bit o’ better butter.
 

A Marvel

 
An old astronomer there was
Who lived up in a tower,
Named Ptolemy Copernicus
Flammarion McGower.
He said: “I can prognosticate
With estimates correct;
And when the skies I contemplate,
I know what to expect.
When dark’ning clouds obscure my sight,
I think perhaps ’twill rain;
And when the stars are shining bright,
I know ’tis clear again.”
And then abstractedly he scanned
The heavens, hour by hour,
Old Ptolemy Copernicus
Flammarion McGower.
 

An Alphabet Zoo

 
A was an apt Alligator,
Who wanted to be a head-waiter;
He said, “I opine
In that field I could shine,
Because I am such a good skater.”
 
 
B was a beggarly Bear,
Who carefully curled his front hair;
He said, “I would buy
A red-spotted tie,—
But I haven’t a penny to spare.”
 
 
C was a cool Chimpanzee,
Who went to an afternoon tea.
When they said, “Will you take
A caraway cake?”
He greedily took twenty-three!
 
 
D was a diligent Doe,
In summer she shovelled the snow;
In the spring and the fall
She did nothing at all,
And in winter the grass she would mow.
 
 
E was an erudite Ermine,
Who tried very hard to determine
If he should earn a cent,
How it ought to be spent,
And decided to purchase a sermon.
 
 
F was a fussy Flamingo,
Who remarked to his family, “By jingo!
I think I would go
To that animal show,
But they all talk such barbarous lingo.”
 
 
G was a giddy Gazelle,
Who never could learn how to spell;
But she managed to pass
To the head of her class,
Because she did fractions so well.
 
 
H was a haughty young Hawk,
Who affected society talk;
But when introduced
At a large chicken roost
He excitedly screamed out, “Oh, Lawk!”
 
 
I was an idle Iguana,
Who lived upon curried banana;
With tears he’d protest
That he never could rest
Till he learned to sing “Eileen Alanna.”
 
 
J was a jimp Jaguar,
Who purchased a Spanish guitar;
He played popular airs
At fêtes and at fairs,
And down at the Fancy Bazaar.
 
 
K was a kind Kangaroo,
Whose bonnet was always askew;
So they asked her to wait
While they put it on straight
And fastened it firmly with glue.
 
 
L was a lachrymose Leopard,
Who ate up twelve sheep and a shepherd,
But the real reason why
He continued to cry
Was his food was so lavishly peppered.
 
 
M was a mischievous Marten,
Who went to the Free Kindergarten;
When they asked him to plat
A gay-colored mat,
He tackled the job like a Spartan.
 
 
N was a naughty Nylghau,
Who wandered too near a buzz saw.
It cut off his toes,
And the shrieks that arose
Filled all of the neighbors with awe.
 
 
O was an ossified Oyster,
Who decided to enter a cloister.
He could not return,
So continued to yearn
For his home in the sea, which was moister.
 
 
P was a poor old Poll Parrot,
Who had nothing to eat but a carrot,
And nothing to wear
But a wig of red hair,
And nowhere to live but a garret.
 
 
Q was a querulous Quab
Who at every trifle would sob;
He said, “I detest
To wear a plaid vest,
And I hate to eat corn from the cob!”
 
 
R was a rollicking Ram,
Attired in an old pillow sham.
When asked if he’d call
At the masquerade ball,
He said, “I’ll go just as I am.”
 
 
S was a shy Salamander,
Who slept on a sunny veranda.
She calmly reposed,
But, alas! while she dozed
They caught her and killed her and canned her.
 
 
T was a tidy young Tapir,
Who went out to bring in the paper;
And when he came back
He made no muddy track,
For he wiped his feet clean on the scraper.
 
 
U was a young Unicorn,
The bravest that ever was born.
They bought him a boat
And they set him afloat,
And straightway he sailed for Cape Horn.
 
 
V was a vigorous Vulture,
Who taught animals physical culture;
When a pupil dropped dead,
The kind teacher said,
“You needn’t consider sepulture.”
 
 
W was a wild Worm,
All day he did nothing but squirm.
They sent him to school,
But he broke every rule,
And left at the end of the term.
 
 
X was a Xiphias brave,
Who lived on the crest of the wave.
To each fish he would say,
“Good day, sir, good day!”
And then a polite bow he gave.
 
 
Y was a young Yellowhammer,
Who raised a ridiculous clamor;
And he chattered until
An owl said, “Keep still!
I’m trying to study my grammar.”
 
 
Z was a zealous old Zibet,
Toboggans he tried to prohibit.
If any one tried
To take a sly slide,
He ordered him hanged on a gibbet.
 

Found Wanting

 
There lived a wondrous sculptor once, a genius in his way,
Named Phidias Praxiteles Canova Merryday.
He sat within his studio and said, “I really must
Begin a Rhodian anaglyptic ceroplastic bust.
 
 
“My customers demand them, their fame rings near and far,
But then, alas, the trouble is, I don’t know what they are.
Though I could carve a Venus or a Belvedere with ease,
My wondrous skill is lacking when it comes to carving these.
 
 
“I cast and cut and chisel, I model and I mould,
I copy poses picturesque from studies new and old;
In marble, bronze, and potter’s clay, in wax and wood and stone
I carve the old-time statues with improvements of my own.
 

 
“I have Apollo on a horse, Minerva on a wheel,
Hercules going fishing with his basket and his creel.
A Mercury on roller-skates, Diana with a hat,
And Venus playing tennis with Achilles at the bat.
 
 
“Yet these my customers pass by, and ask with interest keen,
For things with long and tiresome names,—I don’t know
what they mean.
And so I let my hammers hang, and let my chisels rust,
For I cannot do an anaglyptic ceroplastic bust.”