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Dear Reader

Welcome to Nikki and Fraser’s story. These two have their share of issues to resolve, stemming from those uncertain teenage years when they, like the rest of us, were finding out about themselves and putting their toes in the dating waters.

I’ve set this story around the ambulance service as I have a lot of admiration for the people who regularly face situations that would have most of us hiding under a blanket. The exacting standards of care and service are a credit to each and every member of the New Zealand St John Ambulance Service.

I personally spent time working with the crews at Blenheim Station, but for the purposes of this book have used fictitious characters and events.

But in the end this story is about Nikki and Fraser finding their way back to each other. I hope you enjoy it.

Until next time …

Cheers!

Sue

PS I’d love to hear from you, so drop me a line on sue.mackay56@yahoo.com or visit my website at www.suemackay.co.nz

About the Author

With a background of working in medical laboratories and a love of the romance genre, it is no surprise that SUE MACKAY writes Mills & Boon^® Medical Romance™ stories. An avid reader all her life, she wrote her first story at age eight—about a prince, of course. She lives with her own hero in the beautiful Marlborough Sounds, at the top of New Zealand’s South Island, where she indulges her passions for the outdoors, the sea and cycling.

Born to a family that was always on the move, TINA BECKETT learned to pack a suitcase almost before she knew how to tie her shoes. Fortunately she met a man who also loved to travel, and she snapped him right up. Married for over twenty years, Tina has three wonderful children and has lived in gorgeous places such as Portugal and Brazil.

Living where English reading material is difficult to find has its drawbacks, however. Tina had to come up with creative ways to satisfy her love for romance novels, so she picked up her pen and tried writing one. After her tenth book she realised she was hooked. She was officially a writer.

A three-times Golden Heart finalist, and fluent in Portuguese, Tina now divides her time between the United States and Brazil. She loves to use exotic locales as the backdrop for many of her stories. When she’s not writing, you can find her either on horseback or soldering stained-glass panels for her home.

Tina loves to hear from readers. You can contact her through her website or ‘friend’ her on Facebook.

Also by Sue MacKay:

 EVERY BOY’S DREAM DAD

 THE DANGERS OF DATING YOUR BOSS

 SURGEON IN A WEDDING DRESS

 RETURN OF THE MAVERICK

 PLAYBOY DOCTOR TO DOTING DAD

 THEIR MARRIAGE MIRACLE

These books are also available in eBook format from www.millsandboon.co.uk

Christmas with Dr Delicious

Sue MacKay

www.millsandboon.co.uk

This book is dedicated to all my extended family. You’ve always been there for me through all those blips life tosses up. Love you all.

And to the Cancer Society of New Zealand, especially the Blenheim and Christchurch branches. You are awesome.

Thank you so much for your care and concern.

CHAPTER ONE

‘OKAY, everyone, listen up.’ Mike, the Blenheim Ambulance Base manager, strode purposefully into the staffroom and straddled a chair. ‘I’ve just been talking to the boffins in Nelson.’

Nikki lifted her head from her laptop where she had been engrossed in her studies. Any conversation between Nelson, where their overall boss worked from, and Blenheim stations usually had a direct effect on everyone. ‘What now?’ she asked with a grin. ‘Got to cut back on our coffee intake?’

Mike grinned back as he shook his head. ‘Nothing so drastic. We’ve employed a paramedic, starting in eight days’ time.’

Good news for once. ‘That’s going to lighten the workload for some of us.’ They had plenty of volunteers working as ambulance officers but few full-time paramedics and advanced paramedics, which meant she was always being called in to work extra shifts. Not that she minded most of the time. More shifts meant more pay to spend at the fashion shops.

Mike hadn’t finished. ‘Gavin, I intend putting the two of you together so you can mentor him as he trains for his Advanced Paramedic qualification. I think you’ll get on well with him. He comes across as confident and competent, as well as likeable.’

Gavin’s face turned thoughtful. ‘Why not Nikki? She’s just as capable as me.’

Unused to Gavin questioning anything, Mike looked taken aback. ‘She is, but at the moment this is how I want it to run. Okay?’

‘Sure.’ But Gavin looked worried.

To give him a break Nikki asked, ‘So who is this person? Anyone we know?’

‘I doubt it. He’s been in Dunedin for years, but has decided to move back home. His credentials were too good not to take him on immediately. He could get a job anywhere in New Zealand if he wanted.’

Nikki shivered. A guy returning home from Dunedin after years away. Why should that raise her antenna so quickly? Quite a few people from here had gone to university in Dunedin and not come back. She glanced up at Mike but saw nothing more than enthusiasm for his new staff member. Another shiver tripped through her. ‘Do we get a name for this guy?’

Mike’s gaze remained fixed on her. ‘Fraser McCall.’

The air left her lungs in a whoosh. The warning shaking her body had been right. ‘That doesn’t make sense. Are you talking about Fraser Ian McCall? Twenty-seven years old?’

‘The same man.’ Mike frowned. ‘Problem?’

Yes. A big one. Panic squeezed her, turned her skin icy. Fraser could not work here, in this station, with her. He could not. It was too small. They’d always be running into each other, even if they were on opposing shifts. Did he know she worked here? If he did then it was unfair of him to even contemplate joining up. Why had he? ‘He’s a doctor, not a paramedic.’

Mike stood up. ‘Wrong. McCall’s been working on the ambulances for three years.’

Really? Why? Five years ago Fraser had just finished his fourth year at med school so that left two years between then and now unaccounted for. Of course, she hadn’t heard anything about him since she’d returned home from Dunedin but he must’ve finished his studies at university in that time. Swallowing hard to push away the sudden blockage in her throat, she croaked, ‘What was he doing before he joined the ambulance service?’

‘You know I can’t give out confidential information about any of the staff, including you, Nikki.’ There was a warning, a message, in Mike’s eyes just for her.

Hadn’t Fraser mentioned to Mike he knew her? That they had history not easily dismissed? Hell, that they couldn’t possibly work together? For five long years Fraser had shown he didn’t give a damn about what had become of her. Why would he start now?

‘Does he know I work here?’

‘Yes. He seemed surprised. Said he knew you when you were a chef, and that you hadn’t had a medical thought in your head.’

She dipped her head in acknowledgement. ‘True.’ Unexpected pain lashed at her. Was that all he admitted to remembering about her? What about the part where he had been her fiancé? Or that they’d lived together for three years? Been high-school sweethearts?

Her brain ran into overdrive, trying to assimilate the one piece of news she’d never, ever expected to be told. Or wanted to hear. Her hands clenched in her trouser pockets. How could she work with the man who’d once sworn he loved her so much he’d broken his own vow and proposed before he’d finished his training?

The man who had not shown up for their wedding, leaving her looking a complete fool, shaking in her high heels and beautiful silk gown, clinging to her father’s arm as they’d stood on the top step ready to walk the aisle. To her love, her bright and exciting future.

They’d waited, and waited, she and her dad. Slowly her mother had joined them, then her four brothers had surrounded them, protecting her from the buzz of questions rising from the guests also waiting.

At the time she’d been frantic, thinking the worst, imagining him in a hospital bed after an accident, but he hadn’t been there. Or anywhere she’d called. It had been as though he’d vanished into thin air. Then late that night he’d called her from who knew where. It had been the call she’d have given anything not to receive.

‘Nik, I’m so sorry. About today, about everything. I won’t be marrying you. Not ever. I’m sorry.’ Fraser had choked and then the line had gone dead. As far as she knew, he hadn’t been seen in Blenheim since.

The pen in Nikki’s fingers shook, creating wonky lines as she filled in the weekly checklist for Blenheim One ambulance. Her teeth pressed into her top lip, inflicting a sharp pain. ‘What’s wrong with me this morning?’ She couldn’t blame the icy chill from the late winter frost blanketing Blenheim.

Fraser McCall. That’s what’s wrong.

‘I know.’ Her teeth dug harder.

So what are you going to say to him first? Hi, and welcome. Or, where’ve you been hiding for the past five years since you ran out on me?

‘Definitely not that. That’d be telling him how much I still care and that’s a non-starter.’

Since hearing from Mike that her worst nightmare was coming true she’d lived in dread of this day. Her stomach had been rioting continuously, barely tolerating even the tastiest food. The belt on her trousers was a notch tighter. Her mind had refused to shut down at night, giving a constant recital of all the reasons why she did not want to work with Fraser.

There’d been little sleep, causing her head to ache continuously. The headache pills she’d swallowed an hour ago hadn’t worked, as they hadn’t for the past eight days. And now her hands had started this crazy shaking that made her writing look like a two-year-old’s.

How challenging could working with Fraser be? How difficult was it to run a marathon over mountains with no preparation? Her hands shook harder. Mike had put them on the same four-day roster, and no amount of pleading had changed that. She’d even baked Mike’s favourite coffee and walnut cake, but had got zip, nada, nothing. At least she’d be working days while Fraser did the nights, and vice versa. Hopefully they’d only see each other at shift changeover. Still, far too often.

Toughen up. Use the opportunity to finally ask him why he left. Why he couldn’t face marrying you. Why he didn’t have the gumption to face up to you that day and tell you straight. Then you can tell him exactly how much you hurt at the time and that you’re now totally over him.

‘I am?’ Of course she was. ‘I’m older and wiser. I’ve learned not to trust as easily—which has to be a good thing, right?’ Whatever. But she did have her future all mapped out, which went to show how far she’d moved on from Fraser.

A lonely future without a husband or children of your own.

‘There’s a wee niece or nephew due in six months’ time. How cool’s that?’

Not the same as your own. True. One day she’d love to have a baby, to feel it grow inside her, to push it out into the world and then smother it in love.

‘Talking to yourself again?’ Mike asked from the internal garage door.

‘Only way to get a sensible answer,’ she quipped automatically, while bending down to check the tread on the rear tyres. She didn’t want Mike to see the pain and worry that must surely be swimming in her eyes.

‘You’re early. There’s fifteen minutes until you clock on at seven.’

‘I was up and ready so decided I might as well come in.’ She’d figured it would be better to already be working when Fraser arrived. That way she could acknowledge his presence and then immediately carry on with the job. She straightened up slowly, made a show of ticking another box.

‘Like you do that often.’ When she glanced across the garage, Mike’s calm, knowing smile beamed at her. ‘Our newest crew member’s also early.’

‘What?’ Fraser was here already? Shouldn’t she have sensed his presence? Breathe in deeply, breathe out. In, out. It was too soon to front up to him. She wasn’t ready. She’d never be ready. The next tick on the checklist skewed sideways. ‘Dang.’ She could do without this ridiculous thumping in her chest and the sudden lump blocking her throat. What did she say to him? It wasn’t as though they could ever become friends again. Could they? No, too much pain sat between them.

‘Nikki, you’ll be fine. Whatever your problem is with Fraser, you’re a very professional AP and I know you won’t let anything come between you and your job.’ Mike’s words soothed her a little. If he believed she could manage then she’d do her best to live up to his expectations.

‘I wish I was as confident as you.’ She’d even mentioned resigning to Mike a couple of days ago but he’d known it for the halfhearted gesture it had been. She loved working as an AP and this was the only full-time ambulance station within a hundred kilometres. Her plans for owning a catering business were for the future, not now when she could help so many people when they were ill or distressed.

Mike stepped closer, the concern in his eyes worrying. ‘Fraser’s in the tearoom. Come and have a coffee, break the ice while everyone’s around. You have to get past this moment, whatever’s causing it.’

Gulp. There was another option. She could run away. So you’re a coward now? Face it, Fraser can’t hurt you any more. That’s done and dusted. And he was the one who did the running away, remember? Pushing her shoulders back, sucking in another deep breath, she plonked the checklist down on the front seat of the ambulance and squeaked, ‘You’re right.’ She owed this man who’d given her a break and taken her on at a time when he’d had many applicants, some far more qualified than her. Tapping his shoulder, she gave a weak smile. ‘Thanks.’

At the tearoom door her shaky resolution backed off. Standing with his back to her, talking to Chloe and Ryan, who were about to take over on Blenheim Two for the day shift, was Fraser. Her first glimpse of him since she’d come home from Dunedin to get ready for their wedding, fully expecting him to follow her three weeks later.

Her heart bumped hard against her ribs as she drank in the sight of him. Fraser’s tall, lean body had morphed into a broader, more muscular version of the body she’d known intimately. On Fraser the very ordinary uniform looked like something out of a style magazine. The black pants hugged his mouth-watering butt in a way that made her fingers itch.

What had seemed difficult had just become darned near impossible. Right now her heart was squeezing tight with raw longing, and her eyes were filling as an alien tenderness overtook her. Transfixed, she drank in the sight of this man who’d dominated her thoughts one way or another for all her adult life.

She swallowed, hard. ‘Hello, Fraser.’

He turned slowly. Nervous? Unwilling to face her? It had never occurred to her over the past few days that he might find this situation as difficult as she was. But maybe he did. After all, he still owed her an explanation, not to mention an apology.

‘Nikki.’ He gulped. ‘You’re looking good.’ His rich, golden-honey voice washed over her, bringing with it a storm of sweet memories.

Memories that until this moment she’d believed she’d deleted from her mind. Fraser murmuring to her as they’d lain tangled in the sheets of their small double bed in the cosy flat they’d shared with two other med students in Dunedin. Fraser egging her on to beat him at strip poker then laughing like crazy when she’d lost.

Stop it. Focus. Concentrate. Remember everything else. The burning humiliation, the pain in her heart so big she thought she’d die.

Nikki stared at him, speech impossible. He looked … different. That full, generous mouth, strong jaw line, the autumn-brown eyes all were tight with wariness instead of the constant laughter she remembered. But that was the least of the changes. His face had deep lines running either side of his mouth. A jolt of shock ripped through her as she looked further. His once straight, thick, chocolate-brown hair was streaked with grey, and curls spun over the tops of his ears, coiled at the edge of his collar.

What had happened? Was that why he’d done a runner? No. She refused to accept that as an excuse for his actions. If anything had gone wrong he’d have told her, and they’d have sorted it—together.

From somewhere a long way away Mike said, ‘Let’s have coffee while it’s quiet. Fraser, you’ll be pleased to know Nikki puts her cooking skills to great use and keeps us supplied with yummy treats.’

Nikki jumped. For a brief moment she’d forgotten where she was. A quick look around the staffroom showed Gavin and Amber watching this meeting with interest, as were the other day crew, who’d just arrived. Amber, her friend and flatmate, should’ve clocked off by now, but had probably hung around to meet the new guy. Questions blazed from her eyes, warning Nikki there’d be an interrogation later.

Fraser spoke into the silence. ‘My stomach’s doing flips already.’

Nikki looked into his eyes, really looked, and locked gazes with him. She saw pain and resignation, determination and wariness, all tumbled together. None of the extreme confidence she’d known before. Again, shock tilted her sideways.

‘So, how are you?’ he asked softly.

Her chin pushed forward. ‘Fine, good, busy.’ Dumbstruck, clueless about how to deal with you.

‘It is really good to see you. You look different somehow.’ Fraser’s tone sounded genuine, as his eyes appraised her slowly.

Too darned slowly. Making her skin heat. Drying her mouth. Huh? What was going on here? Had to be the sleepless nights catching up with her. Why else would she be feeling these odd sensations for a man she no longer trusted enough to make her a coffee?

Fraser moved forward, his arms lifting in her direction. To hug her?

Yikes. No way. Not now, not here. Not ever. Quickly shoving her right hand out, she gripped his, shook it perfunctorily and let go. But not before something she hadn’t felt for five years zinged up her arm. Desire.

Fraser heard Nikki mutter, ‘Dang.’ She spun away, her thick dark blonde plait swinging across her back as she added, ‘I need coffee.’

Fraser grimaced. He could relate to that. Strong, black coffee might just fix what ailed him. Temporarily.

As if the mess he’d created way back when he’d learned he wasn’t invulnerable could ever be fixed. Even with the best reasons in the world there was no denying he’d mucked up big time. Especially with this woman standing within reaching distance and looking as remote as the top of the Himalayas.

He couldn’t prevent himself watching every movement Nikki made as she crossed to the whiteboard where case studies were written up for everyone to read and learn from. Despite the bulky green jacket she wore she seemed leaner than he remembered. Her steps were more deliberate, as though she’d lost the constant spring in her walk. Nikki Page. The girl he’d cherished at school. The woman he’d desperately wanted to marry. The lady he’d walked away from. Walked? Sped from, more like. He’d broken her heart. He’d also broken his own. Completely.

But he’d eventually got over her. Or so he’d thought. He’d truly believed that or he’d never have come to work here, despite how much he needed to become an AP for his father’s sake.

‘How do you take your coffee, Fraser?’ Mike waved a mug at him, thankfully shifting his focus for a second.

‘Black, thanks.’ His gaze instantly returned to Nikki. Hell, a few moments ago he’d nearly hugged her. Why? Trying to prove that seeing her again was easy, that he had no hang-ups from the past? Proving it to Nikki? Or himself? Suddenly he felt unsure of everything—his plans to remain in Blenheim and settle down, his yearning to claw back the friendships he’d known before he’d messed up.

‘I’ve got some cereal here for our breakfast,’ the girl introduced to him as Amber told Nikki. Then waved the box at him. ‘Fraser?’

Nikki’s shoulders rolled. ‘Not hungry at the moment.’

‘Me neither.’ He’d forced some toast down before leaving home twenty minutes ago, nearly gagging as it had stuck in his throat. Tiredness dragged at his body after he’d spent half the night pacing the house, keeping away from his parents’ room in case he woke his light-sleeping mother. He’d asked himself repeatedly if coming to work here was the right thing to do, and had repeatedly come up with the same answer. It wasn’t, and yet it was if he was getting on with his new life.

Amber shook the cereal box. ‘You’ve got to have some food, Nikki. You’ve hardly eaten anything for days now.’

Nikki winced. ‘Okay, just a little to appease you, bossy.’

So Nikki’s appetite had disappeared lately. Since she’d heard he was coming to work at the same station? Strange, but he couldn’t possibly affect her any more, could he? Not after the damage he’d done before. The way he’d treated her had been truly bad, despite his justifiable reasons.

‘I’m bossy?’ Amber chuckled. ‘That’s rich.’

‘That’s what friends are for. Keeping you in line.’ Nikki shrugged eloquently and rubbed out a word on the board, rewrote it spelled correctly. ‘Gavin, your spelling is atrocious. And don’t go blaming your Welsh background. We might speak funny in New Zealand but the words are the same.’

Gavin looked up from the paper and spoke in what sounded like a put-on broad Welsh accent. ‘You’re right, Amber. She’s nothing if not officious.’ His wink showed how unfazed he was by Nikki’s comments. ‘So, Fraser, what brings you back to Blenheim? If you don’t mind me asking, that is?’

‘Family.’ And getting on with the life he’d believed for so long he’d never get the chance to live. A second chance. ‘My dad’s not well so I want to be around to help out with things like keeping the house and section in order, making sure my mother’s coping okay.’

Nikki’s hand stilled on the board. Listening carefully? She asked without turning around, ‘What’s wrong with Ken?’

‘He’s got dementia.’

Nikki gasped, turned to look at him, sympathy in those wide azure eyes. ‘That’s terrible. Hard for your mum too, I imagine. I’m sorry, I didn’t know.’

None of Nikki’s family had had anything to do with his parents since that dreadful day when he’d hurt not just Nikki but two families who’d cared about him. He’d lost a lot of people who’d been important to him that day, but he only had himself to blame.

‘Mum’s managing but I think she’s reaching her limits now that Dad’s getting very argumentative and wanders a bit. That’s why I’ve decided to live at home and not get my own place yet.’

Nikki nodded. ‘I can hear your mum now, checking what time you get home at night, making sure you put your washing out. She’ll be enjoying having you to watch over.’

There was a lot Nikki didn’t know but she’d got that spot on. His mum had been devastated that he hadn’t come home when he’d been diagnosed, but she certainly seemed intent on making up for that now.

Gavin leaned back in his chair. ‘You can’t beat having your family around. They take precedence over everything else.’

There’s no wedding ring on Nikki’s finger. The thought blazed through him. She’s still single. Hang on. No ring meant nothing. She could be in a relationship. Why not? A stunning-looking woman whom everyone adored would attract any red-blooded male. He should feel happy for her, not empty and sad. And maybe a tiny bit hopeful.

‘Are your parents still living in Redwood Street?’ Nikki stared at him. ‘Fraser?’

He shook away those bewildering thoughts. ‘Same old house that I grew up in. It’s looking a bit tired now.’ His mum was struggling with the maintenance. He should’ve come home sooner but no one had told him he was needed. Not until the night last month when he’d phoned his parents to give them the good news that his five-year tests had shown no sign of the cancer returning. The specialist had virtually given him an all-clear and a new lease on life.

His good news had been tempered with the information that his father had dementia and had had it for two years. It hurt that his mother had decided not to mention it while the cancer cloud had hung over him. Another black mark against him.

There’d been no time yesterday to track Nikki down and make contact prior to starting here. Neither had he found out anything about her, so he asked now, ‘Are you living on the farm? Or in town somewhere?’

‘Amber and I share a poky flat not far from here.’

No address, then. But what had he expected? An invitation to dinner? ‘Most of town isn’t far from here.’

Mike coughed. ‘Can I see you two in my office? Now?’

Nikki’s azure eyes blinked. ‘Shouldn’t Gavin be joining you? He’s the one going to work with Fraser.’

Mike answered brusquely, ‘No. Bring your coffee with you.’

At the table Gavin appeared totally absorbed in the newspaper.

What was up? Suddenly Fraser sensed he was about to learn something he definitely would not like. He knew that feeling. It started deep in his belly and writhed outwards, upwards, cold and insidious, taking over his body and then his mind. He’d known it once before and that time the news had been grim. He wanted to call out to Mike, to stop him before any words were uttered, but Mike had disappeared into his office.

At the door Nikki turned back to him, a huge question in her eyes. So she was worried too. He wished he had it in his power to take away that dread blinking back at him. Hell, she was still gut-wrenchingly beautiful. His heart slowed, his throat filled as he headed in the direction of the office they’d been summoned to. She still turned his head, still made him want to hold her and run his hands over her satin skin. Talk about bad timing for remembering those particular sensations. Nikki Page was a no-go zone.

Closing the office door was a mistake. He’d shut the three of them into the small space and there was no getting away from Nikki. He drew a deep, steadying breath. And inhaled her scent. The one that had always reminded him of summer gardens; of roses and freesias and peonies. For a brief moment his head spun, almost taking his feet out from under him. Placing a hand on top of the filing cabinet, he waited for his heart rate to slow to normal. And tried to concentrate on the dull, grey carpet under his black workboots.

Then Mike began to speak and he forgot everything as the dread he’d felt minutes ago became reality.

‘Gavin handed me his notice last night. Patricia has been homesick for a while now so they’re heading back to Wales next month.’ Mike sat on the edge of his desk, his feet stretched between them. ‘Nikki, you’re taking his place as Fraser’s mentor.’

‘C-can’t Gavin do it until he leaves? A month’s a long time.’ Her bottom teeth bit into her top lip and her wide eyes gleamed desperately at her boss. ‘I can take over in September.’

‘No, Fraser deserves continuity while he’s training.’ Mike hesitated, looked from Nikki to him and back to Nikki. ‘Look, you two have obviously got history but if you’re working here then you leave it at the door. Our patients deserve one hundred per cent concentration from all of us, all the time. I can’t have you warring on the job.’

‘That won’t happen,’ Fraser rushed to assure him.

Nikki’s head snapped up and the glare that pierced him told him he shouldn’t be so sure of that. But she did say, ‘As long as we keep everything on a professional basis, it should work.’ A breath escaped between her lips. ‘I guess,’ she added softly, the glare softening as worry and uncertainty took over.

Mike continued to outline what was expected of them both, then handed Fraser a folder, a key and a pager. ‘Your rosters, course notes and timetable, and access codes.’ He then shoved out his hand and clasped Fraser’s. ‘Again, welcome aboard. It’s great to have someone experienced joining us. Isn’t it, Nikki?’

Shaking Mike’s hand, Fraser watched Nikki as she hauled herself off the chair. ‘Yes, a change from training someone right from scratch.’ Her voice was a monotone, as though she’d put a tight rein on herself. Was she barely keeping from yelling at him to go away, get lost?

Ah, Nik, if only you knew how much I regret having done that to you once already. On everyone’s belts pagers beeped simultaneously. Relief poured across Nikki’s face as she snatched at hers. ‘Priority one. We’re on, Fraser.’ And she was gone, charging out the door and into the garage before he’d taken a step.

He followed quickly, equally glad of the interruption while they both assimilated the new situation. But, damn, working in the same truck with Nikki would make everything a hundred times more difficult. They weren’t being given any time to get used to being around one another. No time at all. Straight into the fire. Might be the best way.