Cherokee Baby

“We Should Wait Until The Baby Is Born To Come Up With Names,” Bobby Said. “That’s The Cherokee Way.”

Still struggling for composure, Julianne merely nodded.

“In the early days, a Cherokee baby was named in a ceremony by an elder in the community. A Beloved Woman. But things have changed. Today the father names the child.”

And that was important to him, she realized. To adhere to tradition, to play a significant role in naming their baby.

“A lot of things have changed,” he went on to say. “In an ancient Cherokee household, a man moved in with the woman he married, and he was restricted in his authority over the children. Now, a man is the undisputed head of the household.”

She didn’t know how to respond, not when his words barely applied. How could he be the head of the household when they didn’t even live together?

“I want the baby to have my last name,” he said.

Then marry me, Julianne thought hopelessly. Love me and marry me.

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Cherokee Baby
Sheri Whitefeather

SHERI WHITEFEATHER

lives in Southern California and enjoys ethnic dining, American Indian powwows and visiting art galleries and vintage clothing stores near the beach. Since her one true passion is writing, she is thrilled to be a part of the Silhouette Desire line. When she isn’t writing, she often reads until the wee hours of the morning.

Sheri is married to a Muscogee Creek silversmith. They have a son, a daughter and a trio of cats—domestic and wild. She loves to hear from her readers. You may write to her at: P.O. Box 17146, Anaheim, California 92817.

As writers, we often try to “become” our characters, live in their shoes, so to speak. In this case, the shoes I attempted to fill were custom-made cowboy boots belonging to Bobby Elk, a left-leg amputee. In my quest to delve into Bobby’s world, I connected with some amazing people who taught me how fragile and triumphant the human spirit truly is. To Tony Barr, a foot amputee, expert horseman and e-mail friend, for explaining how Bobby would ride and train his horses. To Laurie, a lovely lady and double amputee, for sharing intimate details about her life.

To Margo Severson for phantom pain references.

To Al Pike, Teja Gilmore, Matthew Baughman and Ken Hung, the CPs who answered questions and/or took me on a tour of their prosthetics and orthotics facilities. If I made any technical errors in this book, I apologize. I studied my research notes and applied them to Bobby’s life the best way I knew how.

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Epilogue

One

Thirty-nine and counting.

Good Lord. Julianne McKenzie trailed behind her cousins, wondering why she’d agreed to let them fuss over her upcoming birthday. Not that she didn’t relish the “girls only” vacation they’d agreed upon, she just didn’t understand why they’d insisted on arranging one of those tongue-in-cheek, over-the-hill parties to go along with it.

What did her cousins know about turning forty? Mern and Kay were still in their early thirties, nearly a decade away from the big 4-0, from the onset of gray hair, crow’s-feet and sagging rear ends.

And to top it off, they were both happily married. Julianne’s philandering spouse had left her for a cliché. A younger woman. A loyal secretary, the kind middle-aged wives feared and middle-aged husbands couldn’t seem to resist.

As her cousins reached the big wooden door of the lodge at Elk Ridge Ranch, Julianne dragged her luggage up the stone path and sighed.

Her life was falling apart at the seams.

“Are you coming, Jul?” Kay called back.

She waved the brunette on. “I’ll catch up.”

Kay rolled her eyes. “You and Grandma’s ancient suitcase. I can’t believe you brought that thing.”

“It’s my good luck charm.” And because it was nearly as old as she was, she wasn’t about to trade it in for a younger model. The ugly green case, with its temperamental clasps and scuffed exterior, wasn’t ready to be put out to pasture. It still had a few good years left.

And so do I, she thought as her happily married, thirtysomething cousins entered the lodge without her.

In spite of her dwindling bankbook and the job she’d just lost, Julianne had come here to have fun, to enjoy the amenities this Texas guest ranch had to offer.

She climbed the wraparound porch and caught sight of a cowboy exiting the building and heading in her direction.

She tried to appear unaffected by his presence, but as he moved closer, she stole several quick, curious glances. He was, after all, the first true cowboy she’d ever seen. He even walked with the stiff, rugged gait of a horseman.

Attired in varying shades of denim, he looked dark and exotic, rough around the edges, with a straw hat dipped low on his forehead and a silver buckle glinting at his waist. Broad of shoulder and narrow of hip, he stood tall and strong.

A man’s man. Or possibly a woman’s dangerous fantasy.

Not hers, of course. These days, she knew better than to fantasize about the Y-chromosome gender.

“Do you need some help?” he asked, casting a courteous glance at the pea-green monstrosity in her hand.

“No, thank you.”

“Are you sure? I’d be glad to carry that for you. Or send a ranch-hop out here, if you prefer. We provide all the same services as a five-star hotel.”

“Honestly, I’m fine.” She knew Elk Ridge Ranch wasn’t designed to toughen up the city dweller. Supposedly their guests were encouraged to relax, to enjoy being pampered in a country setting. To dine on meals provided by a gourmet chef, to swim in a luxurious pool, to visit a masseuse after a day of hiking, riding or fishing. But she’d be damned if she was going to come across as a pint-size, Pennsylvania greenhorn who couldn’t handle her own luggage.

Trying to appear more competent than her travel-weary appearance allowed, she flashed a small, self-assured smile.

But a second later she lost her composure, as well as her footing. Julianne McKenzie, the fantasy-free, pretending-to-be-tough divorcée, tripped and stumbled, nearly landing flat on her almost-forty behind.

With a foolish little yelp, she managed to regain her balance, but not her dignity. She dropped the suitcase and it opened upon impact, spilling a small selection of clothes.

Right at the cowboy’s booted feet.

Mortified, she looked up at him and mumbled an apology. Suddenly he seemed taller, broader, bigger. And she felt small and stupid.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

Julianne nodded. The only injured party was her pride.

“Did you slip on something?”

“No. I’m just clumsy, I guess.” She knelt to organize her mess.

“Let me help.”

He crouched down, and Julianne froze. Her new bustier—the slinky French number Kay and Mern had insisted would boost her breasts, as well as her morale—was wedged beneath his slanted heel.

Should she say, “Excuse me”? Or just sort of yank it back before he got a good look at the lace contraption wrapped around his boot?

Too late, she thought. He was already glancing down to see what he’d stepped on, already shifting his weight, moving his foot, reaching for her bustier.

A piece of intimate apparel that came with a sheer, lightly boned bodice, under-wire cups, hook-and-eye closures and adjustable garters.

He handed it over with a polite if not proper expression, but she still wanted to curl up and die. Somehow his gentlemanly behavior only managed to intensify the mind-numbing moment.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“That’s okay.” Avoiding eye contact, she jammed the bustier back into her toppled suitcase, burying it beneath a pile of folded T-shirts.

Should she tell him that she’d bought it on an emotional whim? That her cousins convinced her that every woman should own one? Not to seduce a man, but to make herself feel pretty?

Oh, yeah, she thought. Go ahead and discuss your insecurities with a stranger. Explain to this hunky cowboy why you’d purchased a see-through bustier and thigh-high stockings as a birthday gift to yourself.

He reached for another dislodged garment and together they worked in silence, clearing the porch of her belongings.

Finally she closed the green case and tried to latch it, but it wouldn’t budge. Some good luck charm, she thought, embarrassed by her incompetence once again.

“Would you like me to try?” He shifted from his crouched position, bending on one knee and keeping the other foot flat on the ground.

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

“Not at all.”

He struggled with the clasps, too. But he didn’t give up. Determined to come to her rescue, he continued to fiddle with the case.

When he pushed his hat back, she took the opportunity to study him. And realized he was probably as old as she was. Maybe even a tad older. His long black hair, which he wore in a single braid down his back, was threaded with a distinguished hint of silver, marking his temples. And his eyes, those exotic-shaped eyes, were branded with tiny lines, crinkling at the corners.

Gray hair and crow’s-feet. And it looked damned good on him.

So did the rest of his features, she decided. The square jaw, the slightly aquiline nose, the razor-sharp cheekbones, the full, serious mouth.

“You’re—” She paused as he glanced up, suddenly aware that she’d voiced her next thought out loud. “Native American.”

His serious mouth tilted into a slightly amused smile. “And I’d bet my next pot of gold that you’re Irish.”

“Are you sure about that?” she asked, teasing him the way he teased her.

He reached out to smooth a strand of her hair away from her face. “Red hair, green eyes.” He brushed her cheek, rubbing his knuckles over her skin. “A scatter of freckles. To me, that’s Irish.”

She met his gaze, and they stared at each other.

So intimately, she had to force herself to breathe.

Footsteps sounded somewhere nearby. The cowboy dropped his hand, but he didn’t stop looking at her.

“Are you?” he asked.

She blinked. “Am I what?”

He studied her mouth. “Irish?”

“Yes.” She wet her lips, wondering how it would feel to kiss him, to press her—

“What’s going on here?” a masculine voice bellowed.

The cowboy flinched and Julianne nearly jumped out of her skin.

He recovered first. Adjusting his hat, he addressed the intruder. “Just helping a new guest with her fallen luggage.”

The intruder laughed. “Sure looks odd. You two kneeling there on the ground.”

Julianne glanced up and connected the disembodied voice with an older man. Short, paunchy and nearly bald, he wore a big, friendly smile. Another guest, she deducted.

“Yeah, I guess it does look odd.” The cowboy pointed to the stubborn green case, which lay open at his side. “But I’m still working on it.”

“So I see.” The older man turned to Julianne. “I’m Jim Robbins. I come here every summer.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Julianne McKenzie. It’s my first visit. I’ll be here for a week, with my cousins.”

“Then I’m sure I’ll see you at the barn dance on Wednesday, if not before. I come here to fish, but the missus prods me to dance.” He shifted to the cowboy. “Good luck with that, Bobby.”

“Thanks, Jim.”

The other guest departed, sauntering off the porch and into the dry Texas air.

Julianne looked at her companion, who concentrated on her suitcase. “So you’re Bobby,” she said weakly.

He nodded, then cleared his throat. “Bobby Elk. I own this place.”

Bobby Elk. Elk Ridge Ranch. It was a simple enough connection, but one that surprised her. “I thought you just worked here.”

“My mistake. I should have introduced myself first. Especially to a guest.” He glanced up for a second. “So, your name is Julianne McKenzie?”

“Yes.”

“Glad to have you aboard, Ms. McKenzie. If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Thank you.” Their conversation had turned professional, but she could still feel the heat between them. The mutual attraction.

While he worked on her suitcase, she studied his deft movements, his calloused fingers. And that’s when she saw the gold band. The wedding ring on his left hand.

The air in her lungs whooshed out. He was married.

The son of a bitch was married, and behaving just like her ex.

How many times had she pictured her former husband flirting with his secretary? Kissing her? Holding her?

She wondered if Bobby Elk’s wife knew that he checked out other women? That he gazed directly into their eyes? Touched their faces? Their hair?

God, she hated men.

“I got it,” he said, closing her case with a resounding click.

And none too soon, she thought.

Julianne came to her feet. “I better go. My cousins are probably wondering what happened to me.”

He stood, too, towering over her by nearly a foot. “I’ll carry your bag.”

She wanted to argue with him that she could do it herself, but instead she walked ahead of him, tossing a cool look over her shoulder. “Suit yourself.”

She entered the lobby, a room boasting of country charm. The walls, constructed of oak, set off a stone fireplace. A floor-to-ceiling window offered a stunning view of flowers, trees and hills.

Bobby stopped to say her name. “Ms. McKenzie?”

She turned, huffed out a breath. “Yes?”

“I offended you, didn’t I?”

“Yes, Mr. Elk. You did. And I’m sure you know why.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not usually so forward with the guests.”

Yeah, right. “My cousins are waiting.” She spotted Kay and Mern, watching her from the front desk.

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll leave your bag with Maria. Our receptionist,” he clarified. “She’ll arrange for someone to take this to your room. Enjoy your stay.”

He carried her suitcase to the counter, and Julianne studied his limp, the slight glitch in his walk. Served him right, she thought. Whatever injury he’d sustained, he deserved.

She waited until he left the lobby before she approached the reception desk.

Her cousins met her with eager faces. “So that’s what kept you,” Mern said.

“Who is he?” Kay asked, smiling like a Tasmanian devil.

Mern and Kay were sisters, one blond and one brunette, both adept at traveling. Kay already sipped a drink from the nearby bar, and Mern leaned against the long oak counter, where she’d probably been in the process of checking them into their rooms.

“That was Señor Bobby,” an unfamiliar, heavily accented voice said. “He built this ranch.”

Julianne turned, realizing that Maria, the Latina receptionist, had answered Kay’s question.

“Handsome,” Kay mused.

“Married,” Julianne put in quickly. “Saw the ring myself.” A simple gold band. The kind her ex used to wear.

“No, no, no.” This from Maria, who waved her plump arms. Apparently she didn’t mind insinuating herself into their conversation. “Señor Bobby isn’t married. Not anymore.” She made the sign of the cross, in a very religious, very respectful gesture. “His wife, she died. Three years ago.”

The news struck Julianne like a fist. Like a hard, shameful blow.

Bobby Elk wasn’t a cheat. He was a widower.

And she’d treated him like dirt.

Bobby cursed himself all the way to the barn. Nothing was going to lighten his mood, not the Texas Hill Country he’d come to cherish, the vast blue sky or the earthy scent of horses and hay misting the air.

He’d screwed up. And at his age, he knew better. First, he’d gotten aroused by Julianne McKenzie’s underwear, by that sexy, little lacy thing he’d pretended not to notice. And then he’d touched her pretty, Irish skin. Which had left him aching to kiss her.

What an idiot.

Still cursing his stupidity, Bobby stalked into the breeze-way barn, headed for the office and booted up his computer.

Rolling his shoulders to alleviate the stress, he confirmed his next appointment, which was still hours away.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and scanned the cluttered room. Michael had left the place a mess. Typical, he thought. His nephew had a penchant for disorganization. Unlike Bobby, who required all of his ducks in a tidy row.

He tasted the coffee, made a horrible face and spat it into the trash can at his feet.

A chuckle sounded behind him.

He turned around and glared at his nephew. At twenty-five, Michael Elk had grown into a damn fine Cherokee. He could creep into a room without being seen or heard, but he brewed the worst damn coffee in the world.

“You’re in quite a mood, Uncle.”

“I offended one of our guests.”

For a moment Michael just stared. “That’s my job.”

“That was your job when you were a smart-mouthed, bad-ass fifteen-year-old. Neither of us are supposed to offend our guests now.”

The younger man poured himself a cup of the godawful coffee and sipped casually. “What’d you do?”

“I touched her. With a little too much familiarity, I suppose.”

“Who is she?”

“A good-looking redhead. She just arrived today. She seemed receptive at first. But she got upset after she found out who I was. I guess she thought I was taking advantage of my position here.”

Michael removed his hat and tossed it on the desk. He wore his hair long and loose, as free and wild as his half-cocked grin. “What were you doing? Trying to get laid?”

Bobby shook his head. At times Michael still acted like a smart-mouthed, bad-assed fifteen-year-old. But he knew it was a defense mechanism. Michael’s troubled heart had been wounded by his missing girlfriend—a young woman who’d deliberately left town, then disappeared.

But at least the boy hadn’t lost his passion, his emotion, the fire that drove him. Bobby had a few stirring moments now and then, but for the most part, he felt dead inside.

As dead as his wife.

As disconnected as his amputated leg.

“It’s normal to want, Uncle. To see a woman you desire.”

“I’m not looking for a lover.” He missed the masculine release that came with sex, but he wasn’t about to share his stumped, disfigured body with anyone. He didn’t give a damn how active or athletic he was. Sex wasn’t the same as riding a horse or running on a dirt path or working out in the gym.

Lovemaking required a partner. Human contact. And he couldn’t give of himself. Not anymore.

“Apologize to her,” Michael said.

“I did.” And now the only thing left to do was to avoid Julianne McKenzie. “I’m going home for a while. I’ll see you later.”

“Uncle?”

“Yes?”

“You’re a good man.”

Bobby’s chest constricted. The only love still left inside him was for Michael, for the youth he’d struggled to raise. “I’m not the champion you think I am.”

“Yes, you are.”

They stared at each other for a silent moment and then Bobby walked out of the barn and into the sun, unable to convince Michael that he wasn’t the warrior he used to be.

As he took the path that led back to the lodge, where his truck was parked, he glanced up at the sky, looking for a picture in the clouds. A wolf or a deer. A protector of some kind.

When he saw nothing but white puffs floating in a sea of blue, he cut across the grassy terrain and spotted her in the distance.

For a second he thought she was a figment of his imagination. But the nervous jab in his stomach told him otherwise.

She was real. And headed straight toward him.

So much for avoiding Julianne McKenzie.

Her hair billowed around her shoulders like a fire-tinged halo. And suddenly he was reminded of who he was.

Robert Garrett Elk, from the A-ni-wo-di, the Red Paint Clan. No wonder the color of her hair fascinated him. The ancient members of his clan were noted for using red paint to attract lovers.

Her hair had put a spell on him.

“Bobby.” She said his name in a soft voice.

He stopped, knowing he didn’t have a choice. He couldn’t just slip past her.

“Your receptionist told me I’d probably find you out here.”

He glanced back at the building behind him. “I’m usually at the barn.”

Julianne shifted her stance. She still wore the jeans and the simple T-shirt she’d sported earlier. But her hair, that scarlet, spellbinding hair, blew gloriously in the wind. “I owe you an apology.”

“No, you don’t.” He jammed his hands into his pockets, thinking how small she was, just a sprite of a woman.

“But I was rude to you,” she said.

“That’s all right. I had it coming.”

“That isn’t true.” She paused, took a breath. “It was a misunderstanding. I saw your ring and I assumed you were still married.”

“Oh.” Taken aback, he kept his hands in his pockets. He couldn’t explain why he wore the wedding band Sharon had given him. He couldn’t admit the truth, not to anyone but himself. “That was a logical deduction, Ms. McKenzie.”

“Julianne,” she corrected. “I’m so sorry about your wife.”

Everything inside him went still. Dead still. He would never forget the pain and guilt that tainted Sharon’s memory. “Thank you.”

“I’m divorced,” she offered.

“Is that good or bad?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.”

“So what brought you to Texas?” he asked, trying to ease into a simpler conversation.

“My birthday.”

She made a sour face, and he found himself smiling. “That bad, huh?”

“I’ll be forty.”

He’d suspected as much. Although she wore her age well, he could see the maturity in her eyes, in her gestures. “You’ll survive. I did. Two-and-half years ago.”

“You’re a man. Gray hair looks good on your gender.”

And all those brilliant Irish locks looked incredible on her. “Come on. I’ll walk you back to the lodge.”

She gave him a suspicious look. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“I’m headed that way. And I assume you barely got a chance to relax. Besides, I think you left your cane in the lobby. And your granny glasses. Oh, and those dowdy housedresses old ladies wear. I’m sure I saw one in your suitcase.”

“Very funny.” She bumped his arm and started toward the lodge. “My cousins are going to have an over-the-hill party for me.”

“Black balloons? A cake with a tombstone on it?”

“Exactly.” She stopped, gazed up at him. “What did you do on your fortieth birthday?”

He tried not to flinch. He’d been emotionally ill that day, churning about the condition of his body. He remembered throwing his prosthesis across the cabin and smashing a lamp to smithereens. Although he deserved to be punished for what he’d done to Sharon, the constant reminder wasn’t easy to bear. Particularly on the birthday she’d been teasing him about but hadn’t lived to see.

“Quite truthfully, turning forty sucked.”

Julianne laughed. “Now there’s a man after my own heart.”

He laughed, too. Even though he could still feel the loss, the fear, the pain from that depressing birthday. “I hated every minute of it.”

“Then I guess that makes you my forty-support buddy.”

“Yeah, I guess it does,” he agreed. “After all, no one should have to go through it alone.”

“Amen to that.” She sighed, lifted her face to the sun. “And no one should have to be subjected to a cake with a tombstone on it.”

Or bury a wife, he thought.

They continued in silence, passing several large barbecue grills, a host of shaded picnic benches and the chef’s organic garden.

When they reached the lodge, Bobby pointed to the parking lot. “I’m going that way.”

“Oh, okay. I think I’ll book my first horseback-riding lesson for tomorrow. Should I do that at the reception desk?”

He nodded. “Guess who your instructor will be?”

“You?” she asked. “My forty-support buddy?”

“Yep.” He tipped his hat. “Ancient cowboy at your service.”

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow, old man.”

“You got it.”

He walked to his truck and then stopped to glance over his shoulder, to catch one more glimpse of her hair. But she was already gone, already out of sight.

He reached for his keys, wondering what Julianne McKenzie would say if he told her the truth about his wife.

That Sharon Elk had put her faith in him on the night she’d died.

On the night he’d killed her.