Czytaj książkę: «The Long Road Ahead»
The war might be over, but trying to get life back on track is anything but easy for Alice Watts.
Follow Alice’s journey back to post-Blitz Bristol where she searches for family, friends, and one particular loved one, in a world where it’s expected to mend and make do… and where it’s sometimes impossible to put your heart before your head…
A tale of true courage and the power of sheer determination, this un-put-downable post-WWII set saga is filled with warmth, humour and heart-wrenching emotion.
The Long Road Ahead
The Land Girls of Home Farm
Rosie James
Born in Bristol of Welsh parentage, ROSIE JAMES has always been a compulsive writer, her early enthusiasm kept alive by winning the occasional childhood literary prize, and much later by seeing her articles and short stories published. She is a trained singer, and as a lyric coloratura soprano, her leading roles include many in grand opera, operetta and oratorio, her music taking her to many parts of the continent. She enjoys theatre, eating out with friends, and she entertains regularly at home – slightly hindered by her King Charles spaniel, who always insists on testing all dishes for flavour. She has three grown-up children, and when they and their young offspring arrive, the normally peaceful house becomes dramatically changed – and always for the better. Rosie lives in Somerset.
Contents
Cover
Blurb
Title Page
Author Bio
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Epilogue
Endpages
Copyright
Dedication
TBC
Chapter One
March 1947
Alice drew the small padded stool closer to the fire and sat down, hugging her knees. Thanks to the sack of coal which had been delivered this morning, she’d been able to indulge herself by setting the fire high with the precious lumps of black magic, which burned and crackled with extra brightness, the flames curling busily up the chimney, sending out a delicious heat that warmed every part of her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.
Not that Alice really needed that much warming up…not really. Because inside, she was on fire. She was feeling truly alive, truly ready to take on the whole world if that ever became necessary.
Because she had been given her heart’s desire. She was lucky…and hadn’t she thought that so many times before? Hadn’t she thought that Lady Luck was never far away – despite all the ups and downs and sad times?
Drawing back just a bit from the hearth, she opened the wallet containing packets of the most precious things she had ever owned. Or would ever own.
Her letters.
They were all in date order, carefully preserved over the last twenty years or so, and in some ways, they traced her story, she thought now. Some were from friends who would always be her friends…her greatest friends…incorrigible Fay, and vulnerable Eve…their Evie. Alice smiled. It had been Fay’s whimsical notion to nickname them the Three Wise Monkeys ever since they’d found themselves sitting together on that bus which would take them to Home Farm and their war work as Land Girls. If it hadn’t been for the war, they’d never have met – so thanks for that, Mr. Hitler!
And there were those lovely letters from Helena…dearest Helena Carmichael who had been Alice’s employer, and Alice’s mother Ada’s, before that.
But most were from Samuel.
Alice began taking the letters from the first packet, opening them out carefully, and spreading them, one by one, on her lap as she began to re-read them. Almost all of them were far too precious to share with another human being, and she had made up her mind that when she died they would go with her. She would be holding them to her heart as she was lowered into the grave, and she intended leaving a formal note about this to whoever took charge of such things.
But of all of them, the ones from Samuel would always take pride of place.
Samuel. Her heart’s desire. The love of her young, of her entire life.
And the sole reason for making her burn with such ecstatic happiness, such enthusiasm for the future, such total contentment…what a flaccid word “contentment” was when talking about romantic love!…was because, two days ago, Sam had asked her to be his wife.
His wife. The dream she had clung to.
And Alice couldn’t help it if she was experiencing every sought-after human emotion with a passion burning more brightly than the fire in front of her. Now, nothing could dampen her spirits.
The dreadful, debilitating weather of early 1947 still persisted, but what on earth did the weather have to do with Alice! Weather? Who cared about weather!
Presently, having re-read all her letters, Alice was thoughtful for a second as she put them away. One or two of them had made her smile, all over again…but the penultimate one she had had from Eve had provoked a slight pang of discomfort. Because while Evie’s future with her beloved was apparently now so happily secure, Alice knew that own road ahead – despite her present euphoria – was unlikely to be so straightforward. How could it possibly be? She and Sam had come from such different backgrounds. Was she ever really going to fit in, despite their love for each other? Was she capable? Was she…was she worthy? Not so much worthy of him, but of the Carmichael dynasty? Of, in the foreseeable future, becoming one of them? And, even worse, had the war changed her into someone else? Was she the same person who’d written all those letters to Sam over the years? Alice cringed at the misgivings which had arrived, unannounced, to enter her sub-conscious…
Evie’s letter had arrived on the 2nd of January.
Dearest Alice
I wanted you to be the first one to know that something wonderful happened just before Christmas. My parents were out, and I was in the drawing room playing the piano…playing all those songs we sang at the village hall, and the Wheatsheaf, during the war. It brought back all those wonderful memories – and guess what? I didn’t realise it, but my parents had been listening at the doorway and they were PLEASED! They said they were pleased to hear me play even though it wasn’t Bach or Beethoven! I can’t tell you how relieved I was!
And then, remembering the advice you gave me when we had lunch together the day before, in Bristol, I plunged straight in and told them! Explained about Max! The words just came spilling out of my mouth, and I was trembling like a leaf, afraid of what they were going to say. But – and I still can’t believe it – they were all right about it and said I should invite Max to tea the following Sunday! I almost fainted with amazement!
And the best bit, Alice, is, that they actually seemed to like Max. They were kind and welcoming to him – and of course he was utterly lovely to them! Being there, the four of us, seemed to me like being in heaven! Especially when Max took his turn at the piano, charming my parents to bits – especially my mother. I think that clinched it, divorce or no divorce!
Even though it is New Year’s Day as I write this, I must not get carried away, Alice. Things could still go horribly wrong for Max and me, but I somehow don’t think they will. I just feel it in my bones that we are meant to be together, and once he is free to marry again, and I have my parents’ approval, I feel nothing but hope for us. Sorry if I appear to be seeing the world through rose-tinted spectacles, but I have never wanted anything so badly in my life, and suddenly I feel as if my wish will come true.
Can we all meet again soon? In Bristol? I will treat us to lunch, or afternoon tea, at the Royal Hotel. I am writing to Fay with my news. I know she will be pleased for me.
All possible love, Alice. Evie. (No.3 wise monkey!)
Alice gazed into the far distance as her thoughts ran on. Happily for Evie, Max’s wife had conveniently done the disappearing act, leaving the coast clear for the two lovers, while – at one time – Alice’s own situation had been as bleak as it could possibly be. Millicent, Sam’s cousin, the wonderful, beautiful, perfect member of the Carmichael dynasty, had been responsible for that. There’d been no contest. Millicent had won from the very beginning…or so Alice had thought.
And yet, and yet…now, the unthinkable had not only become the thinkable…it had become fact! Glorious, mesmerizing fact! Samuel Carmichael was going to be hers!
Presently, Alice began to tidy up the small sitting room, putting away her book and newspaper, and plumping up the cushions, before getting ready for bed. It was Monday night. She hadn’t mentioned her engagement to Valerie at work that day – though how Alice had managed that, she’d never know. She had been longing to shout it out to anyone who would listen, but for some reason she’d decided to keep the news to herself for just a bit longer. Valerie was Alice’s young assistant at the estate agent’s office which she, Alice, had been given sole charge of since leaving the Bristol branch eighteen months ago.
She hadn’t slept much last night, going over and over everything. There was going to be such a lot to plan… Sam had said that it was her wedding, and that all decisions should be hers – though of course he would be ready to do, or arrange, anything she might ask of him. But the more Alice had thought about it as she’d tossed and turned, the more she’d felt decidedly panicky. A daughter’s wedding was, traditionally, the important occasion handled solely by the bride’s mother – wasn’t it? And all expenses paid by the bride’s family? And even though Sam had mentioned – in passing – that money was not important, and not the issue, and that she was not to worry about a thing, that side of her big day did worry Alice. If only her mother was still here! She’d know what to do about all the decisions Alice was going to have to make…
But hang on a minute…there was still Fay and Evie! Had Alice forgotten those other wise monkeys? Because they would be there, backing her up all the way, she knew that.
The only thing which had been more or less decided between her and Sam was the approximate date of the big day. Sam wanted it to be around the time of the anniversary of his mother’s recent death.
‘I do not want every Christmas, from now on, to be full of sorrow and heartache,’ he’d declared. ‘Christmas at Clifton was always one of the happiest times of the year, and we, you and I, Alice, are going to put joy and hope into it, not sadness and looking back.’
But before all that, there was so much for Alice to think about…where on earth should she start?
She woke early the following morning – glad to get up from the bed which, once again, hadn’t given her much rest. Still in her dressing gown, she went down into the kitchen to make herself tea and toast, and glanced up at the calendar on the wall above the sink. Tuesday, 1st April 1947. April Fool’s Day.
One good thing – so far as her situation was concerned – was that she still had this little rented house, provided by the company, to live in until she gave them the three months’ statutory notice of leaving. Alice frowned as she waited for the kettle to boil, realizing that, after that, once again she would be homeless. Even though she’d been assured, many times, that the Clifton house would always be there for her, she hadn’t lived there for years, and didn’t feel that she could go straight there after leaving Dorchester. That wouldn’t seem right. It would be inappropriate. And anyway, she certainly couldn’t leave from there on her wedding day – that would be silly! A bride always leaves from her own home, her own family…doesn’t she? But Alice had no home. And no family, either. This little house had been home since October 1945. She sighed briefly as she put a spoonful of tealeaves into the pot.
Well, there were nine whole months before her wedding day, so perhaps if she waited until, say, September before giving in her notice, at least she’d have somewhere to live while she sorted out all the other things connected to a wedding. Besides, she was going to need all the money she could earn until then – to pay for her wedding dress – at least she had plenty of clothing coupons saved up – and there’d be the flowers for the church, and dresses and presents for her bridesmaids, and a present for Sam… Oh help! It was true that thanks to Helena’s thoughtful foresight in banking her salary for her all those years ago, and her own earnings later on, Alice did have a considerable sum saved up…but everyone knew how much weddings cost…
As she poured boiling water into the pot to make her tea, Alice realized that her hands were actually shaking at all this introspection…did all brides-to-be worry like this, she asked herself? It had already started to feel as if it was going to be a very long and difficult journey before she became Mrs. Samuel Carmichael!
Presently, telling herself not to be so stupid, and that the future would probably open up if she didn’t panic, Alice got ready for work and left the house, almost bumping into the postman as he came up the path. There was one letter for her. And the writing on the envelope was Sam’s. Alice tucked it into her handbag and made her way quickly to work. Valerie wouldn’t be in for half an hour, so there was plenty of time to sit and be with Sam for a few precious minutes.
Monday, 31st March 1947
My dearest, darling Alice
I still feel in a complete daze that you have agreed to be my wife. My wife! I feel so proud, so happy, to say the words, but it is going to seem a very long time before that actually happens! How can I possibly wait!
However, as we agreed last night, I contacted the minister of St. Mary Redcliffe today, and our date of 23rd December has been agreed.
After I’d seen you off at the station, I felt completely lost…as if I wasn’t really myself, and as if part of me had gone with you. And I realized how little time we’d had to discuss important matters.
First things first, I want to buy your engagement ring – so I intend coming to Dorchester as soon as possible. Could it be this coming Saturday – if you are available? Or the following one? Both of which are free for me at the moment.
I realize there will be a mountain of other things to sort out, my darling, but we’ll get there. My father and I stayed up rather late, talking, after you’d gone back – when we also had rather a lot to drink! And it was so good to see him genuinely happy – happy about our news – that he really couldn’t stop smiling, which he hasn’t done much of recently, as you can imagine.
But there is one ground rule which he insists upon. The house in Clifton will always be your – our – home – for ever, and for as long as we want it or need it. Wherever else we have to be over the next few years, here is where our roots will always be grounded. Yours and mine, Alice.
Let me know, soon, when I can come to Dorchester. Ring me here – I am not returning to London until Wednesday.
Ever your own – Sam.
PS. Oh yes, the other thing my father said was that our wedding reception, wherever we choose it to be – shall be his responsibility. He said that since he has always regarded you as his third daughter, this is his prerogative.
PPS. I love you. I couldn’t possibly love you more than I do at this moment.
Chapter Two
Valerie arrived five minutes before the shop opened and she came in quickly, shutting the door behind her with a bang.
‘Is it ever going to warm up!’ she demanded. ‘I am sick of wrapping myself up like an Egyptian mummy! And having to paddle around everywhere! I’m beginning to grow webbed feet!’
Alice smiled across at her. ‘The weather will change soon – they’ve promised us,’ she said. ‘Come over here – I’ve put two bars on the electric fire. Blow the expense!’
Valerie went into the cloakroom to hang up her coat and scarf, then joined Alice in the office and crouched down in front of the fire, rubbing her hands. And Alice looked at her thoughtfully. She would have to tell the girl her news soon – today – it was only fair. She cleared her throat.
‘Did you have a good weekend, Valerie?’ she began, and Valerie interrupted.
Yes – I did. I went shopping with a couple of friends on Saturday afternoon, and then in the evening my brother and his wife invited my parents and me to their place for supper. Joan made a really nice meal…she’s always been a good cook…but this was the first time since they got together again that she’d made that kind of effort. It felt like a proper celebration,’ Valerie added.
‘That does sound lovely,’ Alice said. And it was lovely, she thought, that Ronnie Gates had been able to forgive his wife her disloyalty with someone else while he’d been away during the war. Forgive her enough to stand with her in front of the altar and repeat their original vows. Alice had been a guest at the joyful and rather unusual ceremony at the church.
Valerie stood up reluctantly, and yawned. ‘Well, I suppose I ought to make a start on those specs,’ she said. ‘I didn’t finish them all on Saturday morning.’ She yawned again. ‘Did you have a good weekend? You said you were going to Bristol on business didn’t you?’
Alice waited before replying. Then – ‘As a matter of fact, Valerie,’ she said, ‘I had the most wonderful weekend of my entire life…’
Valerie was immediately interested. ‘Why? What did you do? Quick – tell me!’
Alice swallowed, still almost unable to believe the words she was going to utter. ‘It’s just that…I’ve become engaged, Valerie,’ she said. ‘The man I love – the man I have always loved – asked me to marry him. And I’ve accepted.’
Valerie’s eyes shone with excitement. Who doesn’t like engagements and weddings! ‘Show me the ring!’ she demanded, moving over to take Alice’s hand.
Alice shook her head, laughing. ‘There isn’t a ring yet,’ she said, ‘because he wasn’t sure I would accept him! But he’s coming down to Dorchester soon – probably on Saturday – and we shall choose it together.’
Valerie’s excitement seemed to reverberate around the room. ‘Oh how exciting, Alice! Have you known him long? And if so – why haven’t you brought him here to show us? Come on – tell me all about it…did he go down on one knee? Did you keep him waiting – as if he might be number two or three on your list of possible suitors?’ Valerie was a hopeless romantic. ‘What’s his name…and is he tall and handsome – and have you got a photo? You must have a photo!’
Alice held up her hands in mock surrender. ‘Hang on a minute, Valerie,’ she said. ‘and I’ll start from the beginning. Well…his name is Sam – Samuel Carmichael, and I’ve known him for most of my life because we lived in the same house in Bristol when we were young…my mother was employed as nanny to his younger siblings – two sets of twins, David and John, and Rose and Margaret. Those little girls were a real handful! And then, when my mother died, that became my job until I left to start my office career at nineteen – I’d learned shorthand and typing at Pitman’s college.’ Alice paused to take a breath. ‘And yes, he is tall and handsome – but he didn’t go down on one knee…actually he went down on both. Because I was sitting on the sofa at the time.’
‘Where were you when he proposed?’ Valerie was going to have all the details. ‘Whose sofa were you sitting on?’
‘His. Well, theirs. The Carmichaels’. I’d gone to their house in Clifton to talk about a business matter – or so I’d thought – but it didn’t exactly turn out to be the sort of business I’d imagined!’
Valerie folded her arms and looked up at the ceiling for a moment. ‘Oh, how romantic,’ she breathed. ‘He’s tall, and handsome…and is he rich as well?’
Alice looked Valerie fondly. The girl seemed as excited as if all this had happened to her. ‘You said you’d always loved him, Alice,’ Valerie went on slowly. ‘And did you know, from the very beginning, that you really, really did love him? And that you were meant for each other?’
Alice waited before answering. Wasn’t that the identical question she had asked her mother all that time ago? And Alice would give exactly the same answer she’d heard that night. ‘Yes, Valerie,’ she said, ‘I have always loved him, from the very beginning, and I knew we were meant for each other. But I couldn’t be sure if he felt the same about me. It was only three days ago that he revealed his true feelings. And I’d never dared to hope that the day would come,’ she added truthfully.
By this time Valerie was almost overcome with emotion. This was like something from the pictures! She went across to Alice and hugged her.
‘Well, I think he’s the luckiest man in the whole, wide world, whoever he is!’ she said flatly. ‘Because you say that he’s handsome – but you are beautiful, Alice…I can see people, men, take a second glance at you every time they come in here, or when we’ve been out together. And Rex – from the Bristol branch where you used to work – is mad about you…yes, he is, Alice,’ she declared, as Alice made to disagree. ‘I can see it every time he comes down here – that’s why he keeps making excuses to drive all the way from Bristol and take us out to lunch and stuff. He can’t take his eyes off you!’
‘Well, anyway, I think I’ve answered all your questions, Valerie,’ Alice said quickly – ‘except the one about whether Sam is rich. And I honestly don’t think he can be. It’s true he comes from a well-established family in Bristol – his father is a professor of medicine – a surgeon – and the Clifton house is very nice. But that doesn’t belong to Sam who’s training to be a surgeon himself,’ she added. ‘He’s got a long way to go to reach the same status as his father.’
This was becoming all too much for Valerie. ‘Oh Alice,’ she murmured, ‘you are going to marry a very tall, very handsome, very clever man who you’ve always loved and who loves you… I’m going to start crying in a minute…’
Alice stood up. ‘Don’t do that, Valerie,’ she said, ‘because we’ve got our first customer. He’s looking in the window and he’s coming in now…’
Thanks to the fact that they had one or two genuine enquiries about house purchases and flat lettings, the day was passing quite quickly. Though it was difficult to concentrate because every time they had a quiet spell, all Valerie wanted to do was talk about the engagement.
‘Have you fixed a date yet?’ the girl wanted to know as she tucked into one of the fresh currant buns with the sugary tops which she’d bought for them to celebrate. ‘I don’t expect it’ll be until next year, will it,’ she added, licking her fingers, ‘because weddings take ages and ages to arrange, don’t they…there’s always so much to decide! I remember when my brother was getting married – the first time, I mean – it nearly gave Joan a nervous breakdown!’
Alice nearly choked on her bun. She didn’t need anyone saying things like that! ‘Oh, we don’t really know the date yet,’ she said, crossing her fingers against the little white lie. But she’d made up her mind that it was better to say nothing about when she might be leaving…for all sorts of reasons. And one of the lesser reasons was that she knew Valerie would be really upset. The girl had said, so often, that she had never been happier than working here with Alice…because the days never seemed long since they were usually so busy, and that they always got on well together and sometimes had fits of the giggles about some of the clients…and that for the first time in her life she always looked forward to coming to work. Her enthusiasm had been quite touching, Alice had often thought. She shrugged inwardly. Disruptions usually cause someone some upset, but there was no need to upset Valerie just yet. ‘I’m sure we’ll discuss dates…things like that,’ she said airily, ‘when Sam comes down. There’s no rush.’
When Alice got back home that evening – quite late thanks to the couple who kept on and on about what they were looking for, and who insisted on telling her their life story while they were about it – there were two letters on the mat which had arrived in the afternoon post.
Alice picked them up, shrugged off her coat, and as usual went straight into the kitchen to put the kettle on. Then she switched on the light and sat down on the stool to examine the writing on the envelopes. And smiled. The first one had Eve’s neat, precise handwriting on it, and the other one was from Fay. Her bold scrawl, taking up nearly all the space on the envelope, was unmistakable. How funny that they should both be writing to her on the same day, Alice thought briefly. They hadn’t been in touch for a while. (And neither had she, to be fair.)
She opened Eve’s first.
Dearest Alice
Look, spring is almost here and we still haven’t arranged to meet! My offer of afternoon tea at the Royal still stands – I’m dying to tell you everything that’s been going on, and I’m wondering if Sunday week is any good for you? The thirteenth? I rang Fay at Miss Downs’s place, and that day is OK for her…so will you please ring me at home, and let me know? You have our number. I would love to contact you at your office, but I know that personal calls in business are always frowned upon – even though you are the boss! And I’m sure that whatever time of day I chose to ring would be the most inconvenient and that I would probably ruin the best deal you’d had for ages! I do hope you can make it. It’s over three months since we’ve been together, and I promise I shall be much more jolly this time!
With my love, Alice – Evie.
Alice put the letter aside, smiling. Evie was such a patent little thing, and her happiness was bubbling right over, you could feel it. And straightaway Alice knew that Sunday week would be all right for her, too, because just before leaving work, she’d phoned the Clifton house and spoken to Sam about his visit to Dorchester.
This coming Saturday, he was going to slip a ring on her finger! They were going to choose it together…and Alice knew that it was going to be beautiful…sparkling…glamorous…special…
But it wouldn’t have mattered to her if it was an old curtain ring he picked up from the gutter. All that mattered was the promise it held.
By now, the kettle had boiled for her cup of tea, and Alice decided to wait a few more minutes before opening the letter from Fay. To hold off the moment. To look forward to it for just a bit longer. Why had her letters always meant so much to her, she asked herself? Well, she knew the answer to that. It was because they’d been thought about, touched, handled and written by people – loved people – who had taken the trouble to sit down and think about her…who had taken the time to say what had been on their minds and hearts. Surely the time would never come when letter-writing became a thing of the past? When you had no reason to look forward to seeing the postman come up the path? Surely not?
It was a relief to Alice that, after a spell of unexplained loss of appetite, it had started to return…that she actually felt hungry at the appropriate times. And today was no exception. She’d seen a lovely pork chop for tenpence in the window of the small butcher’s on the corner, and she was going to grill it with some mushrooms, and have it with potato chips. There was enough lard in the cupboard to do that. Alice loved chips, especially straight out of newspaper and eaten with your fingers. With plenty of salt and a good splash of vinegar. She smiled to herself as she remembered her birthday last year when, as a complete surprise, Fay and Evie and Rex had all come down from Bristol for the occasion. And Valerie and her brother Ronnie were there, too, and they’d all walked along a very chilly Weymouth sea front, enjoying the traditional seaside treat together.
Presently, with her meal cooked and ready on the plate, Alice poured herself a glass of Corona, then took everything into the dining room and sat down at the table. The letter from Fay was there on the side, but she wouldn’t read it until she’d finished her meal. It could wait just a few more minutes.
Watcher, my old lover! (Alice’s smile broadened.)
What’s been going on with you, then? I hope you haven’t disappeared altogether, because to me, you looked proper skinny just before Christmas. (To the point, as usual.)
Now, there’s things to sort out. First, Evie wants to buy us tea at the Royal on the 13th – I’ve told her that’s no problem for me, and I hope it’s not for you, either, Alice. Make sure it isn’t, because Evie is so excited about the turn of events at home, that if she doesn’t tell us, soon, in person, I’m afraid she might explode. I’ve spoken to her on the phone, of course, but what I want to do is give her a great big hug. Or several great big hugs. I think she deserves her happiness, don’t you, and we should be there to tell her, as soon as possible.
