Postcards From New York: A Child Claimed by Gold / A Debt Paid in the Marriage Bed / A Dangerously Sexy Secret

She couldn’t still want him; she just couldn’t.

‘You are late.’ He snapped the words out and stood his ground. Six foot plus of brooding male towered over her, sending her heartbeat racing in a way that had nothing to do with nerves at what she had to say. She hated the way she still wanted him, her body in complete denial of the numbness in her mind. How could she still want a man who’d rejected her so coldly after she’d given him her most precious gift?

‘I couldn’t find my way through the park...’ she began, trying to instil firmness into her voice, but he cruelly cut her off.

‘Why are you here, Emma?’ The hard glint in his eye sparked with anger but she wouldn’t allow him to make her feel like a guilty child. What right did he have to stand there and dictate to her what she should have done and when? He was the one who’d strode from the hotel room in Vladimir without a word to her after tossing her his card. He was the one who hadn’t handled this right.

‘Did you think throwing a business card onto the bed was a nice way to end our night together?’ Her words spiked the spring air around them, but he didn’t flinch. His handsome face didn’t show a single trace of any other emotion beyond controlled annoyance. This just prodded at her anger, firing her up. ‘We need to talk, Nikolai. That’s why I’m here.’

‘About the consequences of our night together?’ He’d guessed. Guilt and shock mixed together and she looked up at him, not yet able to say anything.

He moved towards her, dominating the spring air around them, and while she heard people walking past she couldn’t do anything other than focus on him. If she looked away, even for just a second, all her strength would slip away.

‘By consequences, you mean pregnancy.’ Finally she found her voice. Her sharp words didn’t make a dent in his assured superiority, but saying them aloud filled her with panic.

‘Yes, exactly that. I assume you haven’t flown halfway around the world to tell me about the article. You’re here to tell me you are expecting my child.’ He looked straight into her eyes, the fierce question in them mixing with accusation. Was he blaming her?

Emma looked away from the impenetrable hardness in his eyes and wished it could be different, but no amount of wishing was going to change those two bold lines on the pregnancy test she’d finally had the courage to use. She was pregnant with Nikolai’s child and, judging by his response to her arrival in New York, he did not like that particular revelation. It didn’t matter what he said now, she had to face the truth: she was very much alone.

She let out a soft breath, trying to come to terms with what she’d known all along, finally accepting why she’d wanted to tell him in person. She’d had the faint hope that he would come around to the idea, be different from her father. But no. If the fierce glint in his cold black eyes was anything to go by, he didn’t want to be a father at any price. She would do this herself. She didn’t need him—or anyone. ‘Your powers of deduction are enviable, Nikolai. Yes, I’m pregnant.’

* * *

Nikolai braced himself against the worst possible news he could ever be told. He couldn’t be a father, not when the example he’d seen of fatherly love still haunted his dreams, turning them into nightmares if he allowed it.

He looked at Emma, the one woman who’d captured a part of his heart. Ever since she’d left he’d tried to tell himself it was because he’d shared a bit of himself with her, shared secrets he hadn’t wanted anyone to know. He still couldn’t comprehend why he’d done that when she’d had the power to make it completely public, shatter his mother’s peaceful life and destroy his hard-won business reputation. He was thankful he’d stopped at the unhappy marriage bit, glad he hadn’t told her the full horror of how that marriage had come about. How he’d come about. If she knew the truth she wouldn’t want him to have anything to do with his child, of that he was sure. But, although he had shared some secrets, he would now do anything he could to ensure those she didn’t know about stayed hidden away.

‘And did you leave Vladimir in such a hurry because you thought you’d discovered extra facts for the story? Perhaps you rushed off to get it in?’

The anger he’d felt when he’d realised she’d left not only his room and the hotel but Vladimir itself still coursed through him. He’d had to leave her in the hotel room because of the desire coursing through him. He’d needed the cool air to dull the heavy lust she evoked in him with every look. He hadn’t intended it to be the last time he saw her. He’d intended to go back and talk calmly with her, hear what she would want if the worst had indeed happened.

‘No.’ She looked down, as he quickly realised she always did when confronted with something difficult, as if she too was hiding from past hurt—or was it guilt for throwing herself at him just to get a few snippets of inside information? When she looked back up at him, her eyes were shining with threatening tears. ‘I had a call from my sister and left soon after you did.’

‘A call from your sister? So, after we’d worked together on the article, you thought spending time with her was more important?’ Her face paled at his icy tone and a rush of guilt sliced briefly through him before he pushed it aside. She’d run out on him to play happy families with her sister.

‘She was upset.’ Emma looked up at him as if imploring him to understand. ‘We only have each other. I left her to go back to Moscow but there wasn’t any time to contact you again. It’s not as if I knew there were such consequences then.’

‘When did you first discover these consequences?’ The fact that she must have known for at least a few weeks infuriated him more than the fact that she’d used him, seduced him into taking her to bed and spilling secrets.

‘I’ve only fairly recently had it confirmed...’ He moved even closer to her, dominating the very air she breathed and halting her words in mid-flow.

‘And now we have to deal with it.’ His attention was caught by passers-by, happy in the spring sunshine when he now had the weight of guilt pressing down on him, all but rooting him to the spot like one of the large trees of the park.

This was his fault. He should have been more careful, more in control, but if he was honest with himself he should never have given in to the attraction in the first place. Not with the woman who had the power to destroy his and his mother’s happiness. What the hell had he been thinking? What had happened to his usual self-control? Emma had happened. She’d completely disarmed him, which he strongly suspected had been her intention all along.

‘Deal with it?’ He heard the panic in her voice and turned his attention back to her, to see she’d paled even more dramatically. She needed to sit down. He did too, but the restaurant would be busy, far too busy to discuss an unplanned pregnancy and the ramifications of such news.

‘This way,’ he said as he took her arm, ensuring she came with him. He strode towards the edge of the park where he knew the horse-drawn carriages would be waiting for customers. They could talk as they toured the park and, more importantly, she wouldn’t be able to run out on him this time. She would have to face their situation, just as he’d had to as he’d gone over this very moment in his mind during recent weeks. In the carriage she would have no choice but to listen to him and accept that his solution was their only option.

‘Where are we going?’ She pulled back against him as if she was on the verge of bolting again, backing up his reasoning for taking a carriage ride like a tourist.

‘Somewhere we can talk. Somewhere you’ll have no choice but to sit and hear what I have to say, how we are going to deal with this.’ Still she resisted and he turned to face her, sliding his hand down her arm to take her hand in his. As he did so, that fizz of energy filled him once more and he could see her face again, full of desire the night she’d taken his hand in Vladimir. The night they’d conceived a new life. His child. His heir. ‘You are not going to slip away so easily this time, Emma, not now you carry my child.’

* * *

The determination and bravado slipped from Emma and her body became numb. She was too tired to fight any more, too tired to worry and fret over the future, and Nikolai’s suggestion of sitting down seemed the best option. She walked hand in hand with him through the park. To onlookers they would have appeared like any other couple, walking together in the sunshine, but inside dread had begun to fill her, taking over the sizzle of attraction from just being with him again. Exactly how did he intend to deal with it?

‘We’ll take a ride round the park,’ Nikolai said as he stopped beside a horse-drawn carriage and she blinked in shock. Was this just another of his romantic pastimes to distract her? Then the truth of that thought hit her. That was exactly what he’d done in Vladimir. He’d gone out of his way to distract her and had even successfully managed to keep her from meeting his grandmother.

He’d been keeping her from knowing more about his family and, thinking back to the moment they’d met, she could see he’d been evasive about the story of rags to riches she was supposed to cover. Why, then, had he said the things he had that morning after they’d made love, giving her a deeper insight into the childhood which had shaped the man he now was?

She still couldn’t shake off the sensation that he’d wanted to say more but had guarded against it. Had he really believed she would put all those details in the article? She’d just wanted to create a fairy-tale story to go with the amazing photographs she’d taken, but he’d accused her of manipulating everything to get what she wanted.

‘Trying to make me all soft again, are you?’ The words were out before she had time to think of the implications. If she’d been clever she would have never let him know she’d guessed his motives.

‘There is nothing to go soft about. I need to know exactly what you submitted to World in Photographs about my family and then we can discuss what happens next.’ He opened the door of the carriage and, with a flourish of manners she knew he was displaying for the purpose of getting what he wanted, waited for her to climb in.

Emma looked from his eyes to the park around her and beyond that to the tall buildings of New York, a place she’d never been to before. What choice did she have? She was alone in a city she didn’t know and pregnant with this man’s baby.

‘I have my laptop at the hotel, I can show you exactly what will be in it.’ The painful knowledge that he’d rather discuss an article she’d written than talk about their baby cut into her. She sat in the seat, wishing she hadn’t got in the carriage. The idea of playing the tourist with him again brought back heated memories of that first kiss in the sleigh.

‘Did you use anything to do with what we talked about after our night together?’ His voice was deep and firm, quashing those memories instantly as he snapped out the question.

‘No,’ she said and looked directly at him, into the depths of eyes that were shuttered, keeping her out and his thoughts locked away. ‘I never wanted to pry into your family history, more to show an insight into your country. It was what Richard had suggested in the first place.’

‘Who is Richard?’

‘A photographer I met while on my course. He works for World in Photographs and helped me get the contract to write the article about your family.’ She had nothing to hide, so why shouldn’t she tell him about how she’d got the contract in the first place? If he chose to see it in the wrong light, that was his problem.

‘What do you owe this Richard for getting you the contract?’ The sharpness of his voice made her look at him quickly, but the coldness of his eyes was almost as bitter as the wind in Vladimir had been.

‘Nothing. All I wanted was to take the best photographs I could and showcase your country, weaving in some of your family stories, which I have achieved without adding in anything you told me in your hotel room.’

‘Then for now I trust you,’ he said as the carriage pulled away, the sudden movement making her grab the seat to steady herself. Instantly his hands reached out to hold her and from the seat opposite she felt that heated attraction connect them once more. Their eyes met; she looked into the inky blackness and swallowed as she saw the glint of steely hardness had given way to something more dangerous—desire. She couldn’t allow herself to fall for his seductive charms again; she just needed to deal with the consequences of their night together and leave before she fell even further and deeper for him. Irritated by the direction of her thoughts, she pulled away and sat back in the carriage seat, desperate to avoid his scrutiny.

If he didn’t trust her with his secrets then why had he told them to her? Had that also been a way of manipulating her to do what he wanted, make her think what he wanted her to think? It had not occurred to her until now that what he’d said might not have been the complete truth.

‘I wouldn’t lie to you, Nikolai,’ she said defensively, and looked away from the dark eyes, feigning an interest in the tall buildings clearly visible above the newly green trees of the park. Maybe if she took a few shots from the carriage he’d see she was as unaffected by him as he appeared to be by her.

The lens of the camera clicked but she had no idea what she’d taken. Concentration was impossible with his dominating presence opposite her and the looming discussion of their baby. She turned the camera off and looked at him to see he’d been watching every move she’d made.

‘We need to talk about our predicament.’ Still his dark eyes watched her, assessing her reaction to his words.

‘Predicament?’ she snapped, giving him her full attention. ‘Is that what this baby is to you? A predicament? Something else you have to deal with? Just what do you suggest, Nikolai?’

‘It is a predicament,’ he said calmly, far too calmly, and it unnerved her. What was coming next? ‘One I never wanted but one which now means we must get married.’

‘Married?’ she said loudly, then looked around to see if anyone had heard her. From the satisfied expression on Nikolai’s face, that was exactly the reaction he had been hoping for. ‘We can’t get married.’

‘Give me one good reason why not.’ He sat back and regarded her sternly.

‘We live on different continents to start with.’ She grasped at the first thing she could think of and, from the amused look which crossed his face, he knew it. Why did he have to look so handsome, so incredibly sexy? And why was she still so attracted to him?

‘That can easily be sorted. I have a home in London if New York isn’t to your liking.’ His instant response unsettled her. Had he worked it all out already?

‘It’s not easy for me,’ she said quickly, angry that everything seemed so cut and dried with him. ‘I have my sister to consider and my job. I’ve only just been offered a job with World in Photographs.’

‘Your sister is in Perm for the next few years and your job could be done from anywhere, could it not?’ The tone of his voice confirmed her suspicion of moments ago. He did have it all worked out—completely to suit him.

None of what he was suggesting suited her. She needed to be in London, especially now she had a job with World in Photographs, a job she needed for financial security, now more than ever. Not only did she have Jess to help through the ballet school, she had a baby on the way, but deep down it was more than that. His so-called deal tapped into her deepest insecurities after growing up knowing that out there in the world was her father, a man who didn’t want to know her.

Overwhelmed by the panic of her situation, she glared at Nikolai. ‘I need to be in London if I’m to keep the job as a photographer with World in Photographs and I need that job to support Jess.’

‘That is easily sorted.’

She frowned, not sure what he was getting at. ‘For you, maybe.’

‘Jess will have all the financial help she needs to ensure she can—what was it you said in Vladimir?—chase her dream.’ The look on his handsome face was as severe as she’d ever seen it, not a hint of pleasure from the generous gift he’d just offered. Or was it a gift? Was it not dangling temptation in front of her?

No, it was more than that. It was a bribe and all she had to do was marry him. The thought filled her with dread. She’d dreamed of the day a man would propose to her, dreamed of it being a loving and romantic moment. Nikolai was being neither as he sat watching her; even the ride in the carriage couldn’t lend a romantic mood to the moment.

‘I can’t accept that,’ she said, still unable to believe what was happening. He was making a deal with her for their child: marry him and she, the baby and Jess would be financially secure. It hurt that she had very little chance of ever matching that, especially now her pregnancy would affect her ability to work. If she turned him down, said no, as instinct was urging her to do, she would be turning down so much more than just a marriage proposal. She would be saying no to something which would help Jess but, more importantly, give her baby what she’d never had: a father.

Turmoil raged inside her as he watched her, the motion of the carriage making her feel slightly ill, and the steady rhythm of the horses’ hooves sounding like drums in her head. How could this be happening? How could all this come from one desire-laden moment in time? How could those few blissful hours have such an impact on her life?

‘No,’ she said again, more firmly. ‘I can’t accept that.’

For a moment he looked at her and the tension between them intensified, but she refused to look away. She wanted to challenge him, wanted to push him in the same way he was pushing her.

Finally he spoke. ‘Just as I will not tolerate being pushed out of my child’s life, and the only way to ensure that is marriage.’

He leant forward in the carriage and she looked away, not daring to look into his dark eyes a moment longer. He had touched a raw and open wound. She was here because she’d hoped he’d want something to do with his child, that he wouldn’t turn his back on either her or his baby. She’d never expected this from a man who’d declared one night was all he could give. If she turned him down, didn’t that make her worse than her mother?

She couldn’t help herself and looked deep into his eyes, seeing what she’d seen that night in Vladimir, and tried to plead with him again. ‘But marriage—’

‘Is the only option.’ He cut across her once more. ‘We will be married, Emma. I will not take no for an answer, not now you are carrying my child.’

CHAPTER SIX

THE REST OF the carriage ride had blurred into a shocked haze and now, as she stood in one of New York’s most renowned jeweller’s, that haze was beginning to lift. She couldn’t marry Nikolai. What was she thinking, allowing him to bring her here to buy an engagement ring? It wouldn’t change the fact that this wasn’t what he wanted. Turmoil erupted inside her. She didn’t want to make the same mistakes as her mother, not when she knew what it felt like to be the child whose existence a father denied.

Could she really do this—sacrifice everything to do the right thing by her son or daughter? If she walked away now would her child blame her later, as she blamed her mother for depriving her of a father?

She looked anxiously at the door but had to steel herself against the reaction Nikolai provoked in her as he stood right behind her, so very close she could feel the heat of his body. It reminded her of the night they’d shared in Vladimir. The passion had been so intense, so powerful. Didn’t the undeniable attraction count for something?

‘Not thinking of running out on me, are you?’ The whispered question sent a tremor of awareness down her spine, which deepened as he held the tops of her arms, pulling her back against the latent power of his body.

She shook her head in denial, unable to put a sentence together as his touch scorched through her, reminding her of the passion they’d shared the night their child had been conceived. That thought chilled the fire he’d unwittingly stirred to life just by being near her. She had to remember the cruel way he’d bargained not only with Jess’s future, but her past, exploiting the one thing which had been a constant shadow in her life. Because of that, whatever she did, she had to control the desire he evoked within her from just a touch.

‘No, you have made it perfectly clear what has to be done.’ She turned to face him, wishing she didn’t feel the rush of desire which flooded her as she looked into his eyes. They were dark and heavy with passion, just as they had been that night in Vladimir. Would she ever stop seeing images in her mind of him like that? He’d become imprinted there and he invaded every thought. Had it been because he was the only man to have touched her intimately, the only man she’d made love with or simply the worry of facing him to tell him about the baby?

A heaviness settled over her as an ominous clarity finally allowed her to see that night for what it really was. It had just been a seduction, a way to keep her from whatever it was he was hiding, and for him it most definitely hadn’t been about making love. For him it would have been purely lust.

‘Then I suggest we select the ring that will seal the deal.’ His voice sounded firm and in control. Yet again he was manipulating her, forcing her to accept his terms.

Panic filled Emma. This wasn’t how she’d envisaged the moment she would get engaged. It had been very much more romantic than this demand that she choose a ring. But what choice did she have now? Not only would he provide the funds for Jess, he would be in his child’s life. It was exactly how she’d always envisaged being a mother—supported by the child’s father. The only difference was that in her dreams that man had been there for her too—out of love, not duty to his child.

‘You’re right,’ she said calmly, reluctantly acknowledging this was the only way forward.

Further doubts crowded in on her, solidifying the need to accept Nikolai’s deal, no matter what she felt. What if she couldn’t cope, just as her mother hadn’t been able to do? Would her baby be taken from her, as she and Jess had been? That wouldn’t happen if she was married to the child’s father.

‘So, are we agreed?’ he asked in a calm voice.

‘Yes,’ she replied, seeing no other option but this deal he’d given her. ‘This is the best way.’

Before she could back out of the marriage she’d agreed to, with a man she’d never expected to see again after he’d left her at the hotel, she gave her full attention to the rings displayed before her. The sparkling stones blurred for a moment and she blinked to try and refocus them, horrified to realise it was tears filling her eyes that were distorting the almost endless display of expensive rings.

Once she’d selected one of the rings and was wearing it the deal would be sealed. She would have accepted his terms. She blinked quickly once more, trying to stop the threatening tears from falling. She couldn’t cry. Not yet. She had to be as strong and detached as he was being.

‘I think an emerald.’ He moved to her side and put his arm around her, his hand holding her waist as he pulled her tighter against his body. ‘To match your eyes.’

He’d noticed she had green eyes? That snippet of information shocked her, because it meant he had taken an interest in her beyond the seduction he’d obviously been planning since the ride in the troika. The memory of that day was now tarnished by the reality of the fact that he’d engineered it all—and she’d fallen for it. Had that wonderfully gentle yet powerfully seductive kiss been part of the plan too?

Of course it had and you fell for it.

‘How about this one?’ she asked, tiredness washing over her, brought on no doubt by the stress of everything, combined with the time difference and pregnancy. All she wanted to do right now was get back to her hotel room and rest, but she held the ring up by the delicate diamond-encrusted band, the emerald sparkling in the bright lights of the store.

‘Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer one of the larger ones?’ He moved away from her and sat in a distinctly antique-looking chair to the side of the table. She tried hard not to look at his long legs as he stretched them out before him. He looked far too relaxed when she was as tense as she’d ever been.

‘No,’ she said and looked boldly into his eyes, not missing the way his gaze slid down her body before meeting hers. The tingle of awareness was disconcerting and she pushed it aside, determined to be in control of this moment at the very least. ‘No, this is much more my style.’

He stood up and came back to her. He took the ring from her, looking at it, then, to her astonishment, took her left hand in his, raising it up. With deliberate slowness he slipped the ring onto her finger and she was amazed to see it was a perfect fit, as if it had been made for her. ‘In that case, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’

It was the last thing she’d expected him to do after having all but put a deal to her and she stumbled over her words, aware of the store staff watching the exchange. Was this all for their benefit or his? She looked at him, wondering if she’d be able to speak, but finally the words came out in a soft whisper. ‘Yes, Nikolai, I will.’

He kept hold of her hand for far too long and she watched as he looked down at the square emerald now sat neatly on her finger. Would he keep his side of this strange bargain? Would he provide the funds for Jess to continue on her chosen course in life and, more importantly, be there for his child?

If he doesn’t you only have to walk away; you have nothing to lose by agreeing.

As that rebellious thought rocked through her he stepped closer and lowered his head; she knew, with every nerve in her body, that he was going to kiss her. Right there in the store.

When his lips met hers fire shot through her and her knees weakened and, as her eyes fluttered closed, she forced them open again. He moved slightly and she could see his lips lifting into a smile that was full of self-satisfaction. Then he spoke so softly only she could hear. ‘A very sensible answer.’

* * *

Nikolai opened the door of the car he’d ordered while he’d completed his purchase for the engagement ring—an item he’d never envisaged buying again. But what choice did he have? He couldn’t turn his back on his child. This was his chance to prove to himself he was a better man than his father. His child had not been conceived in the underhand way he himself had been, so didn’t that already make him a better man? But it wasn’t enough. He needed to prove to himself he was not like his father.

He watched as Emma slid into the back of the car, looking weary, and a pang of guilt briefly touched him. He had nothing to feel guilty about, he reassured himself. Emma was here to secure her and her child’s future and, now that he’d also added her sister’s into the bargain, she had everything she’d come for—and more.

She would become his fiancée and, as soon as possible, his wife. He wanted this particular deal sealed long before news of their baby broke. He wanted his mother to think he’d found love and happiness. It was all she’d ever wanted for him and now, due to one night when he’d been less than in control, he was able to give her that.

‘Where are you staying?’ he demanded as he joined her in the back of the car.

‘A hotel on West Forty-Seventh Street,’ she said without looking at him, provoking that twinge of guilt once more as he gave the driver instructions.

‘This is the right thing to do,’ he said as he took her hand from where it lay in her lap. She turned to look at him, her sable hair moving invitingly, reminding him of how soft it had been between his fingers.

‘What if you meet someone you really want to marry?’ The doubt laced in her voice did little to soften the emotions running through him. As far as he was concerned, that would never be an issue. The example of married life his father had set him was one which had stayed with him long after his mother had found happiness. He might have seen her marry for love when he was almost twelve years old but inside he knew he had his father’s genes. The way to avoid testing that theory had been to avoid any kind of emotional commitment. By the time he’d become a successful businessman in his own right, he’d also become cold and cynical and knew he would never think of marrying—at least, not for love.

‘That won’t be an issue. I could, of course, ask the same of you.’

‘Oh, I always dreamed of the fairy-tale wedding. You know—big white dress, flower girls and bridesmaids, fancy location and a honeymoon in a tropical paradise.’ At first he was taken aback by her soft, wistful voice, but the hard glint in those green eyes warned him it was just a cover-up. He knew all about hiding emotions, only he was better at it than she was; but he’d play the game her way. For now, at least.

‘And now?’

‘Now?’ She pulled her hand free of his and glared up at him, defiance adding to the sparks in her eyes. ‘Now I know better.’

‘So you won’t be looking for love and happy-ever-afters?’

‘Never.’ That one word was said with so much conviction he didn’t doubt it for one minute.

‘Then we agree on that too. You see, already we have a good base for our marriage. A child who needs us both and an obvious dislike of anything remotely romantic.’