Edited by Caroline Deacon
Cover
Title Page
A word from Dr Bill and Martha
I: the journey begins
chapter 1: hayden – our high-need child
How She Acted
How We Felt
What to Call Her
Our High-Need Child Grew and Changed
Her Discipline Needs Were Higher
Our Needs Versus Her Needs
How We Grew – the Payoff
chapter 2: profile of a high-need baby
Intense
Hyperactive
Draining
Feeds Frequently
Demanding
Awakens Frequently
Unsatisfied
Unpredictable
Supersensitive
Unable to Be Put Down
Uncuddly
Not a Self-Soother
Separation-Sensitive
chapter 3: your baby’s cry – what it means, how to listen
An Infant’s Cry – The Perfect Signal
Should Baby Cry It Out?
Should You Ever Let Baby Cry?
Mellowing Baby’s Cries
chapter 4: creative ways to soothe a fussy baby
Motions that Mellow
Sounds that Soothe
Sights that Delight
Touches that Relax
chapter 5: feelings shared by parents of high-need children
Doubtful
Alone
Defensive
Resentful
Thrilled and Scared
Controlled
Critical
Tied Down
Inadequate
Lost
Worried
Disillusioned
Manipulated
Confident and Comfortable
Proud
Vindicated
Connected
chapter 6: seventeen survival tips for parents of high-need children
Consider Yourself
Allow Baby Some Frustration
Make Sleep a Priority
Be Positive
Be Patient
Focus on the “Biggies”
Realize Your Child Is Unique
Don’t Compare
Get Out
If You Resent It, Change It
Get Help
Job-Share
Plan Ahead
Take the Long View
Get Behind the Eyes of Your Child
It’s No One’s Fault
Study Your Child
chapter 7: mother burnout
Martha’s Experience
What Fuels Mother Burnout?
What to Do About It
Avoiding Mother Burnout Altogether
chapter 8: helping the high-need child go to sleep and stay asleep
Why High-Need Children Sleep Differently
Parenting Baby to Sleep
Keeping Baby Asleep
Alternatives for the All-Night Nurser
chapter 9: feeding high-need children
The Benefits of Breast-Feeding
Problems Mothers Who Breast-feed May Encounter
Formula-Feeding Fussy Babies
High Needs – High Nutrition
Grazing
chapter 10: hidden causes of fussiness in infants
Food Sensitivities
Gastroesophageal Reflux
Ear Infections
Anaemia
Urinary Tract Infections
II: the high-need child grows up
chapter 11: the high-need thrill ride
The Ride Begins
1. Little Need for Sleep
2. High Need for Mum
3. High Sucking Need
4. Hyper-Responsive to Stimuli
5. Hyper When Hungry
6. Highly Creative
7. Resisting Authority
8. Stubborn
9. Negative
10. Opinionated
11. High Need for Affirmation
12. “It’s Not My Fault!”
Where Do I Go to Resign?
chapter 12: disciplining the high-need child
Get Connected to Your Child – Early
Study Your Child
Think Kid First
Provide Structure, Set Limits
Know When to Say Yes and When to Say No
Command Respect
Help Your Child Learn Empathy
Give Choices
Let Your Child Know What You Expect
Shaping Is More Important than Controlling
chapter 13: how to talk to and listen to the high-need child
Understand Your Child’s Viewpoint
Getting Your Child’s Attention
Holding Your Child’s Attention
Encourage Compliance Before Defiance
Guide Your Child Toward the Conclusion You Want
Model Control
Use Proper Body Language
Acknowledge Your Child
chapter 14: the payoff – for children and for parents
Empathy
Sensitivity
Sense of Justice
Awareness
Intimacy
Confidence
Expressiveness
Persistence
Interdependence
Ability to Make Wise Choices
Future Parenting Skills
Closeness
Ease in Disciplining
Trust
III: stories from the experts
chapter 15: survivors’ stories
Too Tired to Get Dressed
I Knew Something Was Wrong With Him
Balancing a Medical Career and Mothering
Robbed of a Month of My Motherhood
A Late Bloomer
Why Doesn’t This Baby Sleep?
Day-Care Nightmare
I Snuggled With My Premmie in Bed
A Screaming Bundle of Unhappiness
Sleepless in Canada
Career Derailed
He’s a Hard-to-Love Baby
The Proof Is in the Pudding
I Would Not Want Her Any Other Way
Time to Move On
Index
Acknowledgements
Keep Reading
Also by the Authors
Copyright
About the Publisher