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the fussy baby book
Parenting your high-need child from birth to age five
Dr William Sears and Martha Sears, R.N.

Edited by Caroline Deacon

contents

Cover

Title Page

A word from Dr Bill and Martha

I: the journey begins

chapter 1: hayden – our high-need child

How She Acted

How We Felt

What to Call Her

Our High-Need Child Grew and Changed

Her Discipline Needs Were Higher

Our Needs Versus Her Needs

How We Grew – the Payoff

chapter 2: profile of a high-need baby

Intense

Hyperactive

Draining

Feeds Frequently

Demanding

Awakens Frequently

Unsatisfied

Unpredictable

Supersensitive

Unable to Be Put Down

Uncuddly

Not a Self-Soother

Separation-Sensitive

chapter 3: your baby’s cry – what it means, how to listen

An Infant’s Cry – The Perfect Signal

Should Baby Cry It Out?

Should You Ever Let Baby Cry?

Mellowing Baby’s Cries

chapter 4: creative ways to soothe a fussy baby

Motions that Mellow

Sounds that Soothe

Sights that Delight

Touches that Relax

chapter 5: feelings shared by parents of high-need children

Doubtful

Alone

Defensive

Resentful

Thrilled and Scared

Controlled

Critical

Tied Down

Inadequate

Lost

Worried

Disillusioned

Manipulated

Confident and Comfortable

Proud

Vindicated

Connected

chapter 6: seventeen survival tips for parents of high-need children

Consider Yourself

Allow Baby Some Frustration

Make Sleep a Priority

Be Positive

Be Patient

Focus on the “Biggies”

Realize Your Child Is Unique

Don’t Compare

Get Out

If You Resent It, Change It

Get Help

Job-Share

Plan Ahead

Take the Long View

Get Behind the Eyes of Your Child

It’s No One’s Fault

Study Your Child

chapter 7: mother burnout

Martha’s Experience

What Fuels Mother Burnout?

What to Do About It

Avoiding Mother Burnout Altogether

chapter 8: helping the high-need child go to sleep and stay asleep

Why High-Need Children Sleep Differently

Parenting Baby to Sleep

Keeping Baby Asleep

Alternatives for the All-Night Nurser

chapter 9: feeding high-need children

The Benefits of Breast-Feeding

Problems Mothers Who Breast-feed May Encounter

Formula-Feeding Fussy Babies

High Needs – High Nutrition

Grazing

chapter 10: hidden causes of fussiness in infants

Food Sensitivities

Gastroesophageal Reflux

Ear Infections

Anaemia

Urinary Tract Infections

II: the high-need child grows up

chapter 11: the high-need thrill ride

The Ride Begins

1. Little Need for Sleep

2. High Need for Mum

3. High Sucking Need

4. Hyper-Responsive to Stimuli

5. Hyper When Hungry

6. Highly Creative

7. Resisting Authority

8. Stubborn

9. Negative

10. Opinionated

11. High Need for Affirmation

12. “It’s Not My Fault!”

Where Do I Go to Resign?

chapter 12: disciplining the high-need child

Get Connected to Your Child – Early

Study Your Child

Think Kid First

Provide Structure, Set Limits

Know When to Say Yes and When to Say No

Command Respect

Help Your Child Learn Empathy

Give Choices

Let Your Child Know What You Expect

Shaping Is More Important than Controlling

chapter 13: how to talk to and listen to the high-need child

Understand Your Child’s Viewpoint

Getting Your Child’s Attention

Holding Your Child’s Attention

Encourage Compliance Before Defiance

Guide Your Child Toward the Conclusion You Want

Model Control

Use Proper Body Language

Acknowledge Your Child

chapter 14: the payoff – for children and for parents

Empathy

Sensitivity

Sense of Justice

Awareness

Intimacy

Confidence

Expressiveness

Persistence

Interdependence

Ability to Make Wise Choices

Future Parenting Skills

Closeness

Ease in Disciplining

Trust

III: stories from the experts

chapter 15: survivors’ stories

Too Tired to Get Dressed

I Knew Something Was Wrong With Him

Balancing a Medical Career and Mothering

Robbed of a Month of My Motherhood

A Late Bloomer

Why Doesn’t This Baby Sleep?

Day-Care Nightmare

I Snuggled With My Premmie in Bed

A Screaming Bundle of Unhappiness

Sleepless in Canada

Career Derailed

He’s a Hard-to-Love Baby

The Proof Is in the Pudding

I Would Not Want Her Any Other Way

Time to Move On

Index

Acknowledgements

Keep Reading

Also by the Authors

Copyright

About the Publisher