“A book by Jennifer Greene hums with an unbeatable combination of sexual chemistry and heartwarming emotion.”
—New York Times bestselling author Susan Elizabeth Phillips
“Jennifer Greene’s writing possesses a modern sensibility and frankness that is vivid, fresh, and often funny.”
—Publishers Weekly on The Woman Most Likely To
“Combining expertly crafted characters with lovely prose flavored with sassy wit, Greene constructs a superb tale of love lost and found, dreams discarded and rediscovered, and the importance of family and friendship.”
—Booklist on Where is He Now?
“A spellbinding storyteller of uncommon brilliance, the fabulous Jennifer Greene is one of the romance genre’s greatest gifts to the world of popular fiction.”
—Romantic Times BOOKclub
“Ms. Greene lavishes her talents on every book she writes.”
—Rendezvous
Jennifer Greene sold her fist novel when she had two babies in diapers. Since then, she’s become the award-winning, bestselling author of more than seventy novels. She’s known for warm, natural characters and humor that comes from the heart. Reviewers call her love stories “unforgettable.”
You can write Jennifer through her Web site at www. jennifergreene.com.
Dear Reader,
When we’re kids, we dream of being all kinds of things when we grow up—from president of the United States to the scientist who cures cancer, from being an Oscar-winning actress to being a major trendsetter.
Then we grow up. We don’t stop dreaming, but we learn some realism, and give up the dreams that we know are just too impossible.
I’m a believer that good people should get what’s coming to them. Maybe the meek and gentle don’t always inherit the earth, but darn it, there should be some payback for all the people who wake up every morning just trying to be good people, good lovers, good parents, good friends.
It ticks me off mightily when this doesn’t happen.
So I created this story…about two women who’d put on their realistic grown-up lives and never gave their old dreams another thought. About two women who keep getting put down for having extraordinarily good hearts. About two women who deserve a lot more than jewels and gems.
But after I gave them the jewels, I tried to give them something else. Something that mattered a lot more.
I hope you like this story!
All my best,
Jennifer Greene
To Jennifer—
I keep trying, but no heroine I’ve ever created comes close to you. I want to be you when I grow up.
Love, Mom
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
EPILOGUE
Just as Maude Rose glanced at the kitchen clock, she felt a sudden fierce tightening in her chest. She ignored it. She wasn’t a woman to cater to pain, never had been. More to the point, it was finally past eleven. The bars wouldn’t serve liquor until noon, but by the time she got her old butt in gear, the time’d be close enough.
She was already wearing her favorite caftan—the purple with the gold and green threads. The slippers were an elegant satin green, not exactly perfect for walking in a September drizzle, but hell, she couldn’t fit any other shoes over her hammertoes anymore anyway.
She made up her face, patting a pretty circle of rouge on each cheek, then slathering on a bright, cheerful lavender lipstick. She just couldn’t seem to manage coloring her hair anymore—these last couple months, her arthritis had been a blinger—so her hair seemed to be two-tone these days. Half orange, half white. Truth to tell, she kind of liked it. She swept it up in an elegant style, give or take.
For a finishing touch, of course, she added jewelry. A good pound of gold and silver around her neck and then sparkles of all kinds on her wrists and fingers.
The only place to hide a secret, Maude thought, was in plain sight. Everybody knew that. The kicker in Righteous, Virginia, was that nobody realized that Maude Rose knew that, too.
On the other hand, there were only two women in this town worth sharing a secret with.
She grabbed her cane, let herself out the apartment front door and paused to light a cigar. That feeling of a sharp, tight fist in her chest came back to haunt her, but she determined to ignore it. The pain would go away. Or it wouldn’t. Same with all the other aches and pains that a girl her age was stuck with.
She set out. Predictable as taxes, heads showed up in windows as she passed. Lots of people in Righteous took daily pleasure in sniffing their noses at her. Maude Rose didn’t make friends, didn’t have friends. Truth was that nobody had been in her corner since Bobby Ray died, and that was better than twenty years ago. He’d stood up for her, taken her out of The Life.
Once he’d died, that was that. It was back to loneliness again. Just as well, since anybody she’d ever needed had let her down anyway. There always seemed somebody dying to judge her. It had taken her years to figure out that the way of handling the judgers was to let them. Flaunt what they thought they knew right in their faces.
She passed by Righteous Elementary School—which was right next to Righteous Academy. Kids scrambled all over the playground in spite of the steady drizzle coming down. Both schools had turned her down when she’d offered to volunteer. A teacher looked protectively at her clutch of kids when Maude passed. The little twit.
Past the schools, she eased her cane over the curb, flicked her cigar ash, took another long pull and then headed upstream. The newspaper, Our Way, was housed on the next block. She didn’t glance at the newspaper office, hadn’t ever since they’d refused to print any more of her letters to the editor. This wasn’t exactly a town that was pro-choice or tolerant of gays—or, for that matter, appreciated hearing that the mayor needed the shit kicked out of him. Righteous was a place that wrapped its personality around its name.
A dozen times Maude Rose had considered leaving, but now it was too late. And anyhow, it was home. She passed by Marcella’s Expert Hair Salon—another place she used to go all the time. Now she did her own. When she got around to it, anyway. She hadn’t stepped foot in there again, not since Marcella told her she looked like a cheap tramp, wearing all that gaudy jewelry all the time.
Past Marcella’s was another curb. She had to wait for a red light. Finally, though, she could see Manny’s Bar—it was still a ways yet, several long blocks’ distance, but the trek was all downhill now. Not like she had anything better to do, even if it was a long hike, and she couldn’t very well drive when she didn’t have a car. Or a license, for that matter.
Halfway across the road, she felt that clenching pain in her chest again—this time sharp enough to steal her breath. In that instant when she couldn’t seem to move, stood there frozen, she noticed the drizzle was letting up. A peek of sun was even showing through the clouds. A car horn beeped at her impatiently. Another scandalized face looked out a window and shook a prissy finger at her.
That sun seemed to gently beam down on her wrinkled face, though, and made her smile. The sun felt so…kind.
Kindness was vastly underrated in this world, but not by Maude Rose. The way she saw it, she was tough. She hadn’t let anyone hurt her in a long time. Since yesterday at least.
She just wanted to get to Manny’s, get that first drink put in front of her. She didn’t need or want revenge against all the people who’d been mean to her. Once she got a few belts in her, she stopped feeling needy altogether. Lately, though, she’d gotten a little obsessed with wanting to pay back the few people in this life who’d been decent to her.
There were only three, and since Bobby Ray was long dead, that left a short list of two women Maude Rose felt she owed a thanks.
The really funny thing was that the two girls likely had no idea how much they’d meant to her.
But they would.
Oh, yes. They surely would.
“Now look, sweetheart. I totally understand why you don’t want a stranger washing your balls. But we’re not strangers, now, are we? I love you. You love me.”
Georgina Loretta Thompson—Poppy—tried to breathe, but it was difficult with a hundred and eighty pounds of dead weight lying on her chest. Something dripped on her nose. She was pretty sure it was drool. Drool was the most logical assumption, when the big black oaf sprawled on her in a snoozing heap was a Newfoundland.
“I don’t want to have to get tough about this,” she crooned affectionately. “I know you’re tired and you’ve been good forever. More than any human has a right to expect. But honestly, love bug, you’re wet and heavy and we have to finish up. Your owner’s going to be here in another hour.”
Beast seemed to realize she was unhappy with him. He reached down with a tongue longer than Poppy’s whole face and, eyes closed, slathered a slow, wet kiss down her cheek.
“I love you, too. Really. But remember how we talked about this? I’m the alpha dog in the pack. That means you’re supposed to obey me. In fact, you’re supposed to cower in my presence. You don’t just get to flop down on top of me whenever you want your own way.”
“That’s it, Poppy, you tell that dog who’s boss.”
Poppy winced. Naturally she recognized the gruff, humored voice in the doorway. She was too old to be humiliated this way. Or so she’d been telling herself ever since she’d taken the job with Webster O’Brien four years ago.
“I suppose you think I can’t get this dog off me,” she said darkly.
“It wouldn’t be the first dog who had you buffaloed.”
“Beast does not have me buffaloed. I’m letting him take a little break. He’s been good as an angel for hours. You saw him when he came in. He was a mess. Naturally he got tired of being groomed and cut and shampooed and fussed with all day.”
“Uh-huh. So he lay on top of you to take a nap. And to drool on your face. But that’s totally your choice, right?”
“There was a reason I permanently gave up men and took up dogs,” she told Beast. And then to her boss she said, “Did you come in here just to pour grief on my head or did you have another purpose?”
“I did. A serious purpose, actually. And I promise I’ll tell you in a minute, but honest to Pete, I have to do this first.” Her vision was blocked by Beast’s big, heavy head, but she heard the click-click-click of a camera. “There now. That should be blackmail power for at least three months—”
“Did I mention recently that I think you’re low-down pond scum?”
“I don’t think it came up…since yesterday anyway.” He snapped his fingers. “Now I remember why I first came in. You had a phone call.”
Poppy normally had more patience than Job, but Beast’s heavy, damp weight was starting to get a wee bit claustrophobic. She tried a tactful shove. It had the same effect as dust moving a mountain. “Since when would you interrupt your day to tell me I had a phone call?”
“Well, Tommy had homework, so I told him he could go home, and Lola Mae left a half hour ago. And King Tut’s owner finally came in to pick him up, so I was getting ready to leave myself when the phone rang. I knew you were tied up with Beast here, but your caller didn’t want to leave a voice mail. He was real urgent about wanting you to call him back, still today or tonight if you can.”
“That’s weird.”
“Yeah, that’s how it sounded. And it was a lawyer, besides.”
“The only lawyer I know has a pit bull,” she started to say, and Web obviously couldn’t let that go.
“The only lawyer I know is a pit bull.” He laughed at his own joke and then peered over her head with that big, shaggy St. Bernard head of his. “Would you like some help?”
“Have you ever seen me need help with an animal? I’m completely in control of the situation.” Damn it. She was forty-two years old. Her clothes were soaked. Her hair and skin were damp and smelled like dog. Her back hurt. Her knees hurt. She’d never given a hoot about her appearance—what was the point when she was homelier than a coyote? But right now she’d be downright embarrassed to be seen in public—even if the only public around was Web.
“I could get him off you,” the vet said mildly.
“I’ll get him off when I’m good and ready. Exactly what did this lawyer say he wanted?”
“Just for you to call him back. It was Cal Asher. You know, next to the newspaper office?”
“Sure.” Everyone knew Cal. He looked like a reincarnated version of Mark Twain because of the white hair and moustache. And because Cal was an institution in Righteous, people tolerated his little problem with alcohol. He was a bright man. A good guy. People just knew to make an appointment with him before noon—and to get off the road if they saw his car. “That was the whole message? For me to call him? I can’t imagine what he’d want from me.”
“Beats me,” Web said peaceably. “Anyone suing you?”
“Not that I know of.”
“You suing anyone?”
“Not that I know of.”
“You smack any men around lately?”
“No one who didn’t deserve it.”
Web threw up his hands. “Guess you’ll have to call him back yourself to figure it out, then. I’m going home. So this is your last chance to beg for help.”
“I don’t need help.” She added quickly, “You’re coming in early tomorrow to check on Lucky and Devil’s Spawn, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. So the longest you could be trapped here is until seven in the morning.” But then Web, just because he had an evil sense of humor, suddenly whistled.
Beast immediately lifted his huge black head and bounded to his feet. Everybody loved the vet. Canine, feline, human, didn’t make any difference. Poppy loved him, too—the damn man was the best vet she’d ever known—but sometimes he was so aggravating she could smack him.
It hadn’t been her best day. Beast had come in with a tangled mess of swamp spurs. Her two younger brothers had called to insist on her participation at a family party. Her laptop was sick. Her favorite jeans had blown out a knee.
The call from the lawyer was a bright spot, though. Why a lawyer, any lawyer, could conceivably want to get in touch with her was unguessable.
But Poppy had always loved a mystery.
Bren Price was polishing the altar candlesticks when the church door opened, letting in a sudden burst of late-September sunshine. Late Thursday afternoons, she often cleaned the altar, because invariably no one was using the church at that time. Right off, though, Bren guessed the reason for the interruption. A miserably distraught Martha Almond spotted her and all but ran up the aisle.
Bren met her at the base of the pews, her arms already opened wide. “So…it’s bad, is it?” she asked softly.
Bren already knew the story. Martha’s sixteen-year-old son had been in a car accident. It looked as if he was going to lose his leg. On top of that, the teenager was to blame for the accident because he’d been drinking and partying with a group of friends.
“Everyone’s blaming me,” Martha wailed. “Thing is, I’m blaming me, too. I just don’t know how I could have stopped him. No matter what I ever said or did, he was just determined…”
Bren let her pour. It was the typical mom-of-a-teenager list of complaints, but the typical teenager usually managed to slip around fate. Martha’s son hadn’t. In time, things would get better, but right now Martha couldn’t see a ray of sunshine anywhere. She was exhausted and scared and shaken.
Bren came through with tissues, a listening ear, the warmth of someone holding her. Martha wasn’t the best mom or the worst. Like everybody, she tried her best, and yet sometimes her best wasn’t good enough. Finally Martha’s tears eased up and she sank limply against Bren’s shoulder, as if just needing to gather up some strength before letting go.
At least, until the door to the chancellery opened and Charles shot through the doorway with an impatient scowl. “Bren, I’ve been looking all over for you—” His expression changed from night to day. He turned back into the pastor his parishioners loved, his eyes kind and his voice a gentle, easy baritone. “Why, Martha, I didn’t realize you were here.”
Two hours later, Bren was just putting a bubbling crock of Brunswick stew on the table when Charles walked in. One look at his face and she could feel a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Lately that sick feeling seemed to be there more often than not.
“Don’t you think it’s a little hot for a heavy meal like this?” he demanded.
“Yes, actually,” she admitted wryly. “But I knew I had a full afternoon, so I was trying to put something on that we could just come in and eat whenever we were both free.”
He said nothing then, just sat down and snapped his napkin open. She served iced tea, then took the salad from the refrigerator and sat down across from him. He neither looked at her nor acted as if she were in the same room. The yellow overhead revealed the sharp lines on his normally handsome face. His posture was unrelentingly stiff, his mouth forbidding.
“Now, Charles, I can see you’re annoyed with me,” she said carefully. “But honestly I have no idea why if you don’t tell me.”
“You know perfectly well what’s wrong, so don’t try that game.”
Okay. So it wasn’t going to be one of those times when she could coax him into a better humor. “Tell me anyway, all right?”
He slammed down his iced tea glass, making the liquid splash and spatter. “I’ve told you before. When a parishioner comes in with a problem, you’re to call me. I’m the minister, not you, Bren. I’m the one they’re here to see. Not you.”
She felt slapped but tried not to show it. “You’re angry because I was talking to Martha Almond?” she said, confused. “Charles, she was crying. I just offered another woman’s shoulder—”
“You drew attention to yourself, that’s what you did. You make yourself important.” The chair clattered back when he stood up, his face turning pale as ice. “You’ve always got an excuse. I’m tired of excuses. You know what we’re dealing with. The Baptists have no end of funds. The Methodist church just added a wing. We’re struggling to survive, and here when I need you on my side, I find you doing things to sabotage me. You’ve let me down, Bren. Again.”
He stalked off in the direction of his study, with Bren still sitting at the table. The steam from the Brunswick stew gradually disappeared. Both his plate and hers stayed untouched. The dusk outside slowly turned pitchy black, somehow making the old, worn kitchen look shabbier.
Finally Bren stood and started carting dishes. The enamel sink was chipped, the counter scarred from decades of different pastors’ families over the years. The olive-green color would never have been her choice, nor the mismatched giveaway dishes, but as Charles always said, they shouldn’t be focusing on material goods. Whatever they had should be given to those with real needs.
Bren agreed completely. The hunger for nice things shamed her, made her feel selfish and small.
When the dishes were done, the kitchen scoured within an inch of its life, she stood in the sink window nuzzling two small fists at the ache in the small of her back. She knew her flaws. Her secret wish for pretty clothes, for dishes she’d chosen herself, for living room furniture that didn’t sag and poke. She wasn’t as patient as she should be. And sometimes she stretched the truth.
She didn’t used to, but lately she seemed to be truth-stretching with her husband all the time. It was the only way she could find to keep the peace. Charles was going through a terrible time. He was wonderful, as always, to the parishioners. It was her. She couldn’t seem to breathe right, do right, think right. Everything about her seemed to annoy him, no matter how hard she tried.
The stress of struggling to keep the church afloat was the core problem, she thought. But there was also the childless issue. They’d both wanted children, but at thirty-nine, Bren had quietly given up on the possibility. So had Charles, she’d believed, until he’d had some tests a couple years back and discovered he was sterile. It was those test results that seemed to turn on an angry switch inside him. No one ever saw it but her. No one would believe it if she tried to tell them—which, of course, she wouldn’t.
Lately, though, she’d realized that nothing she’d done had pleased him for years. Everyone in town thought Charles was the gentlest, kindest man in Righteous.
So had she. Once upon a time.
Now it seemed as if she woke up scared and went to bed scared. Some days she felt as if she were a stranger in her own life. She even…
The phone rang on the far kitchen wall—the line that connected to the rectory office, as well. Immediately she leaped to answer it before Charles could be interrupted.
“Church of Peace,” she answered swiftly.
“This is Cal Asher. I need to speak with Mrs. Price.”
“That’s me.” She frowned curiously. She knew the name Cal Asher. Not personally—she’d never had a reason to seek out a lawyer for anything—but he cut a colorful reputation in Righteous, both for his drinking and his lawyering. He’d never stepped foot in Charles’s church that she knew of, though. “Are you certain you don’t want my husband, Mr. Asher—”
“No, no, it’s you I’m looking for. I wondered if there was a convenient time you could come in to my office.”
“What is this about?” she asked, confused.
“It’s a legal matter, Mrs. Price. I’m representing a client. You’re mentioned in her will on an issue that she wanted to be kept private. It won’t take me long to give you the information, but I’d prefer to do it in the privacy of my office, unless that’s impossible for you.”
“No, no, of course it’s not impossible,” she said, but a fresh knot was already tying tight in the pit of her stomach. “It’s a little difficult for me to pin down my husband right now. He’s just so busy—”
“No, no, you’re misunderstanding. It was expressly my client’s wishes that I see you alone. Later, whatever you choose to tell your husband or anyone else is up to you, not my business. But for my part in this, I need a short one-on-one meeting with you to convey the issue in my client’s will.”
Bren started to say that that was impossible. The whole thing sounded hokey. Nothing secret was ever legitimate, now, was it? And more to the point, she never did things—serious things—without consulting Charles. She didn’t have that kind of marriage.
“Mrs. Price?”
“Yes, I’m here.” She clapped the receiver tighter to her ear.
“So…can you meet sometime next week? Say Monday morning, ten o’clock?”
“Yes,” she said.
When she hung up the phone, she was still bewildered how or why she could possibly have agreed.
Of course, she could go right in and tell Charles about the call this very minute.
She decided to do just that. She even took a brisk step forward—and then suddenly leaned back against the counter. She stood there without moving for a good long minute. Some instinct held her back. Maybe it was as simple as not wanting to interrupt Charles when he was already in an ornery mood.
Maybe it was something else.
She didn’t know. She couldn’t explain this silly, inexplicably strong intuition that she keep this information to herself…at least for now.