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Across from her, Gregor cast aside his coat and dark grey waistcoat and stood only in his breeches and shirt. A touch of chest was just visible through the openings between his shirt strings. As Lily stared at the contrast between his skin and the linen, the chilly priest hole grew a great deal warmer. The idea that this was wrong, very wrong, whispered through Lily’s mind as did the music from the fiddler down the hall. With Gregor standing so close in a state of simple undress, it was too intimate and, were it not Christmas Eve, too scandalous. Whatever new faith she’d developed in Gregor, she hoped he deserved it. Otherwise he’d return to London and tell who knew what tales of his time alone with her in the priest hole and she’d never be able to set foot in society here or in London again.

‘Can you do up the doublet?’ Gregor slid on the velvet, then turned his back to her.

Beneath the short-waisted garment, his dark breeches sat tight against his buttocks and the sight of the round, solid firmness made her blush. Thankfully he couldn’t see her red cheeks or her curiosity as she stood behind him, fingers trembling as she did up the laces. She tried to breathe evenly, to give no hint of her nervousness but it was difficult with the hue of the skin of his back just visible through the shirt. She wanted to trace the curving arch, feel the sinew and muscle of it, but she didn’t dare let one finger accidentally slide along the line of it. She was as much afraid of how he might react to such an intimate touch as how she would.

‘I’m done,’ she said at last, both regretting and relieved by the end of her task.

He turned, regarding her as he had under the mistletoe, as though there was more to this than simply the merriment of the moment, or his desire for friendship. It was the same sense of belonging and need she’d experienced with him in the alcove four years ago, the one which had been as badly interrupted now as then.

‘Hurry up in there,’ Laurus called through the door. ‘Aunt Alice is already halfway through “The Twelve Days of Christmas”.’

‘I’ll do up your gown now,’ Gregor instructed, taking her by the shoulders and turning her around, his finger sweeping the open neck of her dress before he let go. ‘We don’t want to keep the little ones waiting.’

The bodice only grew a touch tighter as he tied the laces, but it could have been strangling her for all the trouble she had breathing with him so close.

‘Turn around and let me see,’ he instructed.

Gripping the skirt of the dress, she turned with stiff steps to face him. If he didn’t look so strange in the doublet, she’d feel silly standing here in a dress which was much too big. Already the heavy damask was sliding from her arms. With no shoulders to help keep the dress in place, she’d barely make it down the hall before it would sink around her feet. ‘It’s still too large.’

He snatched a red bodice from the pile of clothes. ‘I have an idea.’

His sandalwood scent teased her as much as the closeness of his cheek to hers when he dipped down to slide the satin under her arms and around her waist. She stared straight ahead at the faded outline of a saint on the far wall, determined not to meet his eyes as he paused beside her, so close she could hear him breathe, feel the heat of his skin against hers. All she need do was turn and their lips would meet. She forced herself to remain still, but she wanted to turn, very badly.

At last he straightened, slowly as if he regretted moving away.

She let out a long breath, then looked down at the red satin around her waist, holding the wrinkled thing closed. ‘It’s backwards.’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ His fingers worked the laces through the eyelets, brushing hers as he tightened the strings. She tried not to breathe too deeply, afraid of bringing his hands closer to her breasts than they already were. Her nipples grew taut against her stays as his hands moved lower towards her waist, making her head swim as if she’d had too much wassail.

When at last he tied off the laces, he stepped back to admire her, not with a critical eye, but with the heady interest he’d shown beneath the mistletoe. She was thankful the little branch was still on the chandelier and not in here, for if it was, she’d surely throw herself against him and claim the last berry, and his lips, for her own.

She laced her hands in front of her, determined to put an end to such ridiculous notions. This morning she’d detested him, now she wanted to forget herself with him? Even during a magical season like this it was beyond comprehension and belief. He’d asked for friendship, not passion. ‘How do I look?’

‘It only needs one more thing.’ He plucked a wreath of dusty fake flowers from the top of the pile of clothes. ‘A crown for the queen.’

He lowered it over her hair, his hands lingering by her temples as though he meant to gently take hold of her before he lowered them to his sides. His eyes remained fixed on hers as she adjusted the crown, frowning when a few silk petals fell off to decorate the skirt of her dress.

When she was done, she slid a domino off the old clothespress where Laurus had draped it. ‘And you must have a mask and a cape.’

His fingers brushed hers as he took the cape from her. In a swirl of musty black velvet, he flung it around his broad shoulders, then tied the ribbons at his neck. Lily picked up the matching black mask and held it out to him. Instead of taking it, he bent down, inviting her to slide it on. He held it to his face as she tied the laces at the back of his head, the thickness of his hair like sable brushing against her palms as she worked.

When she was done and he straightened, there was something more rogue than misrule about him, an air of confidence not diminished by the red doublet, but enhanced by the mysterious darkness of the domino. Taking him in, Lily wondered what it would be like to stand beside him at a London masque in a dress better suited to her than the old blue damask. In masks, no one would know who they were and she’d be free to whirl and turn about with him, enjoying his smiles in a crowd as easily as she did in this closet. For the first time in years, she contemplated accepting Rose’s invitation to join her in London for the Season. With Gregor by her side, even in a mask, she felt sure she would not fear society as much as she did.

‘What do you think?’ he asked, turning as well as he could in the cramped confines of the priest hole.

‘No one will guess it’s you and not Laurus. You’re matched in height and the domino and mask hides your hair and most of your face.’

‘Then let’s be off to make our mischief.’ He held out his arm to her, throwing back the side of the short cape with the flourish of a musketeer.

She clung to the hardness of his arm beneath the shirt, the heat of him spreading through her and settling low inside her stomach. It’d been like this before when he’d escorted her onto the dance floor at Petunia’s wedding, the eyes of all the guests on them as they’d taken their place in the line. For the first time the thrill of dancing with him, not the moment it had all turned sour, dominated her memory of that night.

‘You two make quite a Christmas pair.’ Laurus whistled as they stepped into the hall. ‘Now come on. I can’t wait to surprise everyone.’

He led them back to the sitting room, waving them to a stop outside the door. He leaned forwards just enough to peer inside without being seen, watching as everyone drew out the last line of the long song. ‘And a partridge in a pear tree.’

The family clapped and Laurus waved Lily and Gregor forwards.

If Lily expected their entrance to be one of the measured Marbrook ilk, she was pleasantly disappointed. With a mischievous wink, Gregor clasped her hand and pulled her into the room. Just over the threshold he let go and flung out his hands to announce his appearance in a booming voice to startle the children and amaze the adults.

‘The Lord of Misrule has arrived!’

‘It’s Laurus,’ James and John cried at once and, along with Daisy, jumped to their feet to rush at the Lord of Misrule. Poor little Adelaide, too young to understand, buried her face in her mother’s chest and let out a wail.

‘It isn’t Laurus.’ Lily’s brother stepped in behind the Lord of Misrule and John and James’s eyes grew as wide as pewter plates, along with half the adults.

‘Then who can it be?’ Daisy cried.

‘You must follow me to find out.’ Gregor led the children in a merry dance around the room, snatching one of the tin horns off of the floor and blowing a very off-key but lively tune. The children followed, jumping and skipping around the furniture in imitation of the Lord of Misrule while the adults clapped and laughed at the sight. Lily followed in amazement, stunned to see Gregor so carefree. Though he was nothing like the rest of his family, even he possessed a distinguished reserve which he happily cast aside tonight.

As he rounded the sofa, he caught her hand and pulled her to the door. ‘Come, my fair queen, we must lead the way to the servants’ ball.’

His hand was tight in hers as they marched together in time to the boys’ loud singing and tooting of horns. Lily’s sides hurt as she laughed and spun with Gregor, turning with him to enjoy the beaming faces of the children and the adults who followed behind them as they led the way to the servants’ celebration.

The ballroom, at one time the great hall, was a long room with a high timber ceiling and a wide stone fireplace at one end. The parade of merrymakers broke into the centre of a country dance, taking up places in the line to join the servants who clapped and twirled to the lively tune of the fiddle. Rose partnered with the butler and joined him in the dance, while Petunia, holding a now-mesmerised Adelaide, stood along the sides as Charles swept the old housekeeper nearly off her feet. Daisy promenaded with a footman while the two young scullery maids danced with John and James. Lily’s parents joined in the line, taking their place just beneath Lily and Gregor, who led the reel as the top couple.

 

Lily held on tight to Gregor’s hand as he led her through the steps, his laughter rising with the music. Past the darkness of the mask, his green eyes were alight with his excitement and, when the dance made her and Gregor face one another to sashay down the line, something more.

When all the couples had passed, James and John began to chant, ‘Unmask! Unmask!’

The servants and adults soon joined in until Gregor led Lily back into the centre of the line. Holding up her hand, he had the two of them bow to one side and then the other before he let go of her to pull back the hood and sweep the mask from his face.

A gasp of surprise rushed through the room, nearly snuffing out the candles before the servants’ murmurs of astonishment silenced even the fiddler. If Gregor was aware of the stir he created, he didn’t show it as he smiled at Lily, his hair ruffled over his forehead and damp with perspiration.

‘Well done, well done.’ Laurus appeared now and clapped, snapping all out of their astonishment to join him in their thanks.

Soon the fiddler struck up the next dance and the servants, bidding goodbye to Sir Timothy and Lady Rutherford, resumed their celebration while the family wandered back towards the other wing.

Gregor and Lily were the last to leave, lingering far behind the family which said their goodnights at the bottom of the stairs. Rose and Edgar led their tired boys up to their rooms, the twins protesting going to sleep even while they yawned and rubbed their eyes. Even Daisy moved with heavy feet as mother and father ushered her up to bed, followed by Petunia and Charles and little Adelaide, who snored on her father’s shoulder.

Lily was sad to see them go and for the evening to come to an end. The troubles in the dining room seemed so long ago and she didn’t want to lose the lightness and excitement surrounding her now. It stretched out to encompass Gregor, the smile on his face not dimming as they stood together at the bottom of the stairs. The flush of excitement illuminating his face made him seem younger, as though the troubles with his family and his time in France no longer haunted him.

‘Well done, Marbrook, well done.’ Laurus clapped his friend on the back.

‘A very exhilarating reign.’ Gregor took off the cape, then shrugged out of the doublet.

‘I expect the same level of enthusiasm tomorrow night at the ball.’

‘We’ll make it one you won’t forget.’ Gregor laughed as he exchanged with Laurus the doublet for his waistcoat and coat.

‘I hope so.’ Laurus winked at Lily as he took from her the crown of flowers before she slipped the bodice and dress down over her hips and stepped out of the old garment. Then Laurus pointed over their heads. ‘With only one berry left, it seems a shame to leave the poor thing hanging.’

‘Goodnight, Laurus,’ Lily cried, half-serious, half in jest as she tossed the old gown over her brother’s shoulder.

‘Goodnight.’ He skipped up the stairs, disappearing into the darkness at the top with a whistle.

Lily should have been angry at Laurus for his implication, but it was difficult to think of anything with Gregor standing so close. Here before her wasn’t the arrogant lord who’d refused to acknowledge her after her fall, but the young man who’d told her of his troubles in the alcove. What might have happened between them if the secret heartaches they’d shared hadn’t been interrupted by his family’s arrogance? There was no one to interrupt them now.

While he did up the buttons on his coat, Gregor examined the sprig of mistletoe and the lone berry still clinging to it. ‘It does seem a shame to leave it.’

‘You must excuse my brother, he has quite the teasing sense of humour,’ Lily remarked, trying to change the subject and draw Gregor’s attention away from the sprig hanging over them like some sword of Damocles. The intimacy was already too much without the encouragement of the small plant. ‘Even when he isn’t the Lord of Misrule he can’t completely relinquish his duties.’

‘I know. He was like that at school, always moving Parson Verrell’s books. It’s why I liked him. He was everything my brother and father weren’t.’

Some of the merriment faded from his eyes and he ran his fingers through his hair.

She didn’t want him to be sad, but as happy as he’d been in the ballroom. ‘Laurus may regret appointing you Lord of Misrule. Everyone is sure to insist you come back next year and he’ll find himself dethroned.’

He straightened the collar of his coat. ‘I’d gladly come back, if your family will have me.’

‘I’m sure they will.’

He raised his eyes to meet hers, a fire burning in their depths which nearly stole her breath away. ‘Would you?’

‘I’d welcome you much sooner, if you’d like.’ Her boldness surprised her, but she didn’t regret it.

Gregor reached up and plucked the last berry off the sprig, then stepped closer to tower over her. He raised one hand to her face, cupping her cheek with his palm, the pulse in his fingertips fluttering against her temple.

Her toes curled in her slippers as he leaned in, his breath sweeping her face. She closed her eyes, expecting the brush of his lips over her cheek, so she wasn’t prepared for the meeting of their mouths. As his firm lips enveloped hers, she fell against his chest with a sigh, raising her arms to encircle his neck. He met her embrace, deepening the strength of his kiss as he wrapped his arms about her waist, his hands wide on her back as he drew her closer to him. He bent over her ever so slightly as though wanting to draw her inside of him. She would gladly disappear into him if she could, remove the thin obstacles of her dress and his shirt to meld completely with him. In the openness of the entryway, she could only part her lips and allow his pressing tongue to caress hers.

She’d studied so many classical paintings of nymphs possessed like this by gods, but until this moment, she hadn’t understood the sheer power of a man holding a woman, his breath drawing out hers.

Lily clutched Gregor even tighter as her knees went weak from the pressure of his tongue against the line of her lips, curling and drawing her tongue out to meet his. Low down against her stomach, she felt the hardness of more than his hips, the heat of it increasing the fire already licking up inside her. If he were to ask her for more, she’d gladly give it, surrendering to him and the desire threatening to consume them both.

‘I’ll see if Adelaide left her doll downstairs, Miss Smith, while you look in the nursery.’ Petunia’s voice from the hall upstairs broke through the haze of Lily’s passion, snuffing it out like a drop of water from an icicle on a candle. ‘She must have it or she won’t sleep.’

Lily broke from Gregor’s embrace and took a few steps back. With shaking fingers, she straightened her dress, smoothing out the wrinkles. Petunia’s light step filled the entrance hall before she reached the bottom, pausing on the last stair to look back and forth in curiosity at them.

‘Lily, what are you still doing up?’

‘I was showing Lord Marbrook my portraits.’

‘In almost complete darkness?’

‘It isn’t that dark,’ Lily challenged, though even she could see the candles had burned down far enough in the chandelier to make the hall far darker than propriety allowed.

Before Petunia could challenge Lily, Miss Smith appeared at the banister above them.

‘I’ve found Adelaide’s doll, ma’am. I’ll see to it she gets it at once.’

Petunia nodded, then fixed her attention back on Lily. ‘You should get bed. Tomorrow will be a late night.’

‘Of course. Goodnight, Lord Marbrook.’ Lily dropped a delicate curtsy, glad for the low light for it hid the blush she was sure covered her chest and neck.

‘Goodnight, Miss Rutherford.’ He pierced her with a singeing glance from beneath his brow as he bowed.

Petunia turned and with a flick of her head instructed Lily to follow her. Far from being irritated at her sister’s command, she followed, nearly floating up the stairs and ignoring her sister’s searching looks. Let her wonder, she didn’t care. Gregor had kissed her, not the playful peck of the Lord of Misrule, but the passionate embrace of a powerful man. It made Lily shiver in the darkness and anticipate the rising of the Christmas sun more than any child in the house. It would mean seeing Gregor again.

Chapter Four


Little voices warbling ‘Hark the Herald Angels Sing’ drew Gregor from his dressing table to tug open the bedroom door. On the threshold stood the twins, their youngest cousin standing behind them gripping Miss Daisy’s hand. Their voices faded away as Gregor smiled down at them. The excitement of last night had taken hours to leave him and he’d spent the better part of his time in the dark trying to forget the memory of Lily in his arms and the heaviness it created low in his body. Sleep had at last come to him early in the morning, but it hadn’t lasted much past dawn. Too restless to remain in bed, he’d risen and dressed, eager to see the woman who’d filled his thoughts through most of the night.

‘Aw, this one’s already up and dressed. There’s no fun in that,’ one of the twins complained.

‘Then let’s try someone else,’ his brother suggested and the two of them shot off down the hall, leaving Miss Daisy and her tiny cousin behind.

‘Merry Christmas, Lord Marbrook,’ Miss Daisy offered, her cheeks as red as if she’d been out in the snow.

‘Merry Christmas, Miss Daisy, and Miss Adelaide.’ He bowed to the toddler who watched him with wide eyes, one fat hand in her mouth.

‘Come on, Daisy, stop dawdling,’ one of the twins called as they stood at the door of their next victim.

Daisy looked back and forth between Gregor and her cousins as if debating whether to stay or go. Her youthful exuberance won out over her girlish infatuation and she rushed off, dragging little Adelaide behind her.

Once they were all together at the next door, the children sang their carol at the tops of their lungs. The door to the room opened and out stepped Sir Timothy, still clad in his nightshirt, his cap askew over his grey hair.

‘A merry Christmas to you all,’ he boomed, scooping Adelaide into his arms and whirling her around to the delight of the other imps.

Gregor watched, enjoying their laughter and high voices. There’d never been such Christmas morning joy at Marbrook Manor. He’d tried it once a very long time ago, knocking on his parents’ door in excitement, only to receive a stern whipping which had made sitting through the dull sermon in church difficult.

The butler appeared at the top of the stairs, chuckling as he passed the scene before approaching Gregor. He held out a silver salver with a letter on top. ‘My lord, this arrived for you.’

Gregor recognised his mother’s handwriting at once. He was tempted to refuse the missive, sure it was not full of cheerful Christmas wishes, but he picked it up, eager to be done with the unpleasant task. As Gregor broke the seal, the butler made for downstairs, trailed by the singing children.

Gregor leaned against the doorjamb as he unfolded the letter, the merriment of the morning draining from him as he read the elegantly written lines.

I can’t tell you how disappointed I am that you’ve chosen to spend Christmas in the north and with the Rutherfords of all people. They’re so below us in rank and station. I don’t know why you favoured them with a visit.

Your brother never would have shown such poor judgement, nor left me to oversee your duties at Marbrook Manor, but since he is gone I suppose I must deal with you. I’ve distributed the beer as you instructed, but saw no need to waste an entire cow on such coarse people as the tenants.

 

What with your raising of their wages and forgiving their debts last year, something your father never would have approved of or done, surely they now have more than enough to purchase their own beef with which to celebrate.

Please do not linger too long in the north. Your presence there has already been remarked upon by your uncle and heaven knows who else.

There was no loving postscript to close the chiding missive and Gregor folded it in half, running his fingers over the crease, wanting to rip the thing to shreds. Instead, he must answer it at once and send separate instructions to his steward about distributing the beef as originally intended. The order would not reach Marbrook Manor before the day was out and he could well imagine the disappointment of many tenant families when their tables were much lighter for their feasts this year, but he would see to it they had something for Boxing Day. He’d even instruct the housekeeper to put together gifts for them in order to make amends for his mother’s meanness at such a generous time of year.

‘A hearty greeting to you on this merriest of mornings.’ Lily’s beautiful voice broke through the cloud of Gregor’s ire.

A deep red dress of velvet trimmed with blue ribbon wavered around her legs as she approached from the other end of the hallway. The bright fabric set off the whiteness of her neck and the delicate décolletage just visible beneath her snow-white fichu. For a brief moment Gregor forgot the letter and everything but the memory of her lips against his last night.

‘Good morning, my queen.’ He dropped into a bow, noting the slight furrow of her brow as he rose.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘I’ve received tidings from my mother and they aren’t of great joy. I’m afraid I must remain behind from church to see to it my tenants receive the good wishes intended for them, the ones my mother is thoughtlessly denying them.’ He didn’t mention the rest of the missive, or the aspersions his mother threw on Lily’s family. The reminder of every cold and lonely holiday he’d ever known at home was already dimming the warmth of last night and the cheerfulness of the day.

‘But you’ll be here when we return and you’ll attend the ball?’

Her eagerness to be with him brought back a measure of the happiness with which he’d first greeted the morning. ‘Most definitely.’

‘Then I’ll leave you to your work and see you very soon.’

He peered up one side of the hall and down the other to make sure no one was about. Then he took her hand and raised it to his mouth. He pressed his lips against her soft flesh, rubbing one finger against her palm and enjoying the shiver it sent racing through her to make her skin pebble against his. What he wouldn’t give to draw her into his room, close the door and forget his problems with her in the deepest of embraces. He couldn’t, and with his mother’s letter acting like a ballast stone on his mood he let go of Lily and straightened.

Lily rubbed her hand in disappointment as Gregor quickly retreated into his room and closed the door, leaving her in the hall, confused. Despite the heady press of his lips and his teasing caress, it was as if the Lord of Misrule had abandoned him completely and he couldn’t be free of her fast enough. Was it just the letter troubling him or was it something more, something to do with seeing Lily? Maybe he regretted being so open and intimate with her last night and this morning was an attempt to make clear to her there could be no more between them than a Christmas Eve kiss.

Lily’s stomach tightened with worry, and the shame she’d experienced when he’d turned from her on the dance floor swept in to blot out the excitement from last night until she forced it back. Surely whatever was distracting him this morning had nothing to do with her. He’d told her so and she’d seen it in his face when he’d mentioned his mother and the troubles at home.

Lily raised her hand, tempted to knock and offer him some of the comfort she felt he needed, but didn’t. Her parents might be lenient with many things, but even they would look askance at a single young lady alone in the bedroom of an unmarried gentleman.

She wandered off down the hall towards the stairs, knowing she must wait until later for Gregor to look to her for support, assuming he decided to do such a thing. Despite the kiss last night, there was no promise of more between them and no reason why she should expect further confidence and intimacy than what they’d already shared.

Ahead of her, Rose’s bedroom door was cracked open and she could hear her and Petunia talking inside. She headed for Rose’s room, eager to join them and forget her worries, when Petunia’s voice made her freeze.

‘You shouldn’t encourage her with Lord Marbrook.’

Lily leaned towards the opening to listen, careful not to call attention to her presence.

‘Why not? I think it’d be an excellent match. They’re very much alike in temperament,’ Rose countered. ‘And imagine Lily as a viscountess.’

‘It isn’t likely to happen.’ Petunia sniffed.

‘Afraid our little sister will outrank you?’ Rose teased.

‘I’m afraid she’ll be humiliated again. It’s troubling enough Mother allowed him to come here at all, but for him to show Lily special attention is beyond the pale, especially since everyone knows a Marbrook, no matter how amiable he is to our family, is never going to disgrace his own grand name by marrying so far beneath him.’

‘I think you’ve misjudged Lord Marbrook. His brother might have been arrogant, but I’ve seen no such tendency in him, at least not now.’

‘But what about four years ago?’

‘He was a boy then, and Lily just a girl. They’ve both matured a great deal since.’

‘Perhaps, but I’ve heard rumours his mother is pushing him to marry Viscount Daunton’s daughter. Most people expected an announcement last Season.’

‘If he didn’t ask her last Season, he probably won’t. Beside, Lord Marbrook doesn’t strike me as a man to be pushed into a marriage he doesn’t want, especially not by his mother.’

‘Nor is he the kind to rush into anything. He might play the fool at the servants’ ball, but he won’t do so in London, especially not with Lily,’ Petunia insisted.

Lily’s chest constricted and panic surged through her. Last night, in the dark of her room, when the moon was high and reflecting off the small arches of snow snug in the corners of the window panes, she’d allowed herself to believe there might be something more between her and Gregor. Hearing Petunia state the truth so plainly, she realised there wasn’t. Petunia was right, it was one thing to make merry in the country and quite another in the stately homes of London.

Lily balled her hands and pressed them against her forehead. She’d been weak and foolish with Gregor, granting him favours no young lady should give a man of such slight acquaintance. Then to further lower herself, she’d told him about her troubles with her family, pouring out her heart like the lonely drunk in the public house she’d once read about in a novel. For all she knew, she’d been dallying with a man on the verge of a betrothal and the letter from his mother had something to do with Viscount Daunton’s daughter and not Marbrook Manor. It would certainly explain his quick retreat from her at his door, the memory of which made the shame sting even more.

‘What are you doing skulking around doorways?’ Laurus’s voice rang out from behind her.

Lily pushed away from the wall and, catching her brother by the arm, pulled him to the stairs.

‘Do you ever speak softly?’ she hissed.

‘No more than anyone else in this family.’ He stopped at the top of the stairs to study her, concern furrowing his brow. ‘Is something wrong?’

She twisted her hands in front of her, wanting to confide in the one sibling who understood her, but she hardly knew where to begin, or if she wanted to reveal her humiliation and confusion. Everything Petunia had said was right, she knew it, yet it contradicted everything she’d come to feel about Gregor last night. Surely he wasn’t the man Petunia described, though the one who’d greeted her this morning was so different from the one she’d kissed, confusing her more than her father’s Latin names for his plants.