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The Girl Who Lied
SUE FORTIN


A division of HarperCollinsPublishers

www.harpercollins.co.uk

HarperImpulse an imprint of

HarperCollinsPublishers

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published in Great Britain by HarperImpulse 2016

Copyright © Sue Fortin 2016

Cover images © Shutterstock.com

Cover Design by Books Covered

Sue Fortin asserts the moral right to

be identified as the author of this work

A catalogue record for this book

is available from the British Library

This novel is entirely a work of fiction.

The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are

the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to

actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is

entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International

and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.

By payment of the required fees, you have been granted

the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access

and read the text of this e-book on screen.

No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted,

downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or

stored in or introduced into any information storage and

retrieval system, in any form or by any means,

whether electronic or mechanical, now known or

hereinafter invented, without the express

written permission of HarperCollins.

Ebook Edition © April 2016 ISBN: 9780008194840

Version 2019-03-27

Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

PART 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

PART 2

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

PART 3

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

EPILOGUE

Author Note

Acknowledgements

Book Club Questions

A Q&A with Sue Fortin

Also by Sue Fortin

About the Author

About HarperImpulse

About the Publisher

For my mum and my daughters, with my eternal love.

PART 1

‘I can’t go back to yesterday – I was a different person then.’

Lewis Carroll

Chapter 1

London, England

This is the moment I’ve been dreading. It’s time for me to go back. I play with the Triskelion pendant around my neck, my finger rubbing each of the three edges in turn. Father. Mother. Child. I read the email once again.

From: Roisin Marshall

To: Erin Hurley

Subject: Meeting Up

Hello Erin

You can’t keep ignoring me. I’m sure you never really thought you could walk away from everyone and everything.

I have something that might interest you.

Call me.

Roisin

My finger hovers over the reply key. For a fleeting moment I consider deleting the message. If I ignore it, she may go away. She may give up. I sit back in my chair and let out a long, slow breath. The anxiety that has lain dormant for all this time, having now been stirred, stretches its hand, grips tightly and twists my stomach. No matter how many times I have anticipated this moment, prepared myself to confront my past, right now, it’s insufficient.

‘Aha! Caught you.’ A voice from behind startles me. Somehow I manage to click on the inbox icon, clearing the screen of the email. I plaster on a smile and spin round in my chair to face Ed.

‘You made me jump,’ I say, noting that I sound overly cheerful. ‘How long have you been there?’ My mind replays the last few minutes. How long had I been staring at the email? How long was it visible on the screen? Could Ed have read it from where he was standing?

Ed gives a small laugh. ‘What are you trying to hide?’

I know he’s only joking but he has no idea how true his words are.

‘Now, it wouldn’t do for a girl to tell her boss and her boyfriend all her secrets, would it?’ My turn to laugh. It sounds forced. Ed cocks his head to one side, weighing me up.

The phone on my desk rings and I offer a silent prayer of thanks that I am saved from having to continue the conversation.

‘Good afternoon, Hamilton’s Health and Beauty Spa.’ I glance back up at Ed, who winks before returning to his office.

The immediate danger has passed, but the ever-present fear remains, which only serves to convince me I must do something about it. I cannot afford to let chance or luck, bad luck even, take control. I can afford even less to let my old school friend be in charge.

I turn my attention to the call and quickly deal with booking an appointment for a back massage. Replacing the phone in its cradle, I peek back through to Ed’s office.

He’s busy looking at his computer screen. I return to mine, calling up Roisin’s email again. Instead of replying, I forward it onto my own private email address. One I will have to sacrifice giving to her. I don’t want her trying to contact me at work again. I check my phone and see the email has been received. Next job is to delete the email coming in and going out of the work computer. I know there will be some sort of cyber-footprint, but no one will be looking for that.

It takes less than a minute to carry out, just in time as my next client arrives for her full leg wax. ‘I won’t be a moment,’ I tell her as I double-check that all traces of the email have been eradicated.

For the rest of the day, try as I might, I can’t put the email and Roisin out of my mind. Up until now, I’ve been pretty good at ignoring her. Naively, knowing Roisin, I had hoped she would go away if I didn’t reply. That she would give up. Her first email had been unthreatening. The sort you’d send to someone you hadn’t been in contact with for a long time. The second, thinking back, had a more insistent tone. And now the third, well, she’s certainly not going away and the bait she’s dangling, the something that might interest me, how can I ignore that? Not after what I’ve done.

The day slowly comes to a close and as I’m tidying up and checking the diary for tomorrow’s clients, the telephone rings. I let out a sigh, hoping it’s a straightforward query.

‘Good afternoon, Hamilton’s Health and Beauty Spa,’ I reel off automatically. ‘How can I help you?’ There’s silence, but I know someone is there. I can hear their breath. ‘Hello,’ I repeat. ‘Can I help you?’ A bead of sweat pricks the skin at the back of my neck and my mouth dries. I know who it is before they speak.

‘Hello, Erin,’ she says. ‘It’s me. Roisin.’ The soft roll of her country accent seeps out of the receiver, winding itself into my ear.

I haven’t much of my Irish accent left any more. Ten years has seen it dwindle and I’ve never had any particular desire to hang onto it. In the early days of our relationship, Ed used to mock it, which just served as another reason to leave it behind. Another connection with my past that I don’t want. I adopt my best English accent as I reply.

‘No. Sorry. You have the wrong number.’ I can’t speak to her. Not now. Not at work.

‘Oh, I don’t think I have,’ she replies. I can hear amusement in her voice. It’s the same patronising voice I remember from when we were at school. ‘And before you hang up, you might want to listen to what I have to say.’

I look up towards Ed’s door. It’s closed. The frosted glass blurs his outline, but I can see him there, sitting at his desk.

‘What do you want?’ My voice is low, almost a whisper. I hope she can’t detect the undercurrent of fear.

‘We need to talk,’ says Roisin. ‘Oh, and you can drop the accent.’

‘What do you want?’ I repeat, ignoring the snipe.

‘If you hadn’t ignored my emails, you would know.’ She’s enjoying this, I can just tell. It reminds me of when we were kids. She loved being in control then, whether it was as five-year-olds in the playground, twelve-year-olds listening to music or teenagers deciding what to wear for a party. It always had to be on Roisin’s terms. And I’d let her. She was pretty, she was popular, she was rich, she was all the things I wasn’t. She used to tease me then and she’s doing it now. Except, I’m not the same person as I was then. A little flicker of defiance ignites within me.

‘Look, Roisin,’ I say. Perhaps if I stand up to her now, like I should have done all those times before, I can call her bluff. ‘Whatever it is you want to talk about, spit it out. I haven’t got all day. I’m about to go home.’

‘Don’t go getting yourself all worked up now, Erin,’ says Roisin. ‘I’ve found something of yours.’

‘What’s that, then?’ I can’t for one minute think what it is and for that reason the unease shifts up a gear.

‘A photograph.’ She pauses for effect. It works. Then she continues. ‘A photograph of you and Niall.’

‘Roisin, can you get to the point,’ I say, noticing through the glass that Ed is standing up, getting ready to leave.

‘I tell you what, I’ll scan it and email it over to you.’

I hold in the sigh of exasperation. I don’t want her to know I’m riled. I can see Ed putting on his jacket. Any minute now he’ll be out of the office and waiting to take me for a drink. Neither of us has work tomorrow, so we had planned an evening out, which usually meant my staying over at his place.

I need to get Roisin off the phone. ‘Don’t email my work. Send it to my private email.’ I quickly rattle off the address.

‘Make sure you get back to me,’ says Roisin. ‘We need that talk.’

I put the phone down without answering just as Ed walks out of his office, his sports holdall in one hand and car keys jangling in the other.

‘All set, then?’ he says.

‘Erm, I’m not feeling too well,’ I say, not quite able to meet his eyes. ‘I feel a bit sick.’ That’s not actually a lie. I feel queasy at the thought of what Roisin is sending me.

‘That’s not like you,’ says Ed. ‘We can go straight to mine, if you like. Skip dinner.’

I smile at him. ‘To be honest, I think I’d better go home.’ Again that’s no lie. ‘I don’t think I’d be much company tonight.’ I pick up my bag and take my coat from the peg. ‘Sorry.’

‘Hey, that’s okay,’ says Ed. ‘Are you going to be okay to drive or do you want me to drop you home?’

‘I’ll drive. I’ll be fine.’

‘Text me when you’re home,’ he says. He gives me a hug and drops a kiss on top of my head. ‘I’ll give Ralph a call and see if he fancies a pint. Now, drive carefully and don’t forget to text.’ He’s scrolling through his contacts list and calling up Ralph before he’s even out the door. ‘Ralph, mate! What you up to tonight?’ And then he’s disappearing out of the door.

When I get back to the house, where I rent two rooms on the top floor, I call out a quick hello in the hallway and then head straight up. I hear Stacey, one of the house-sharers, call out a greeting. She rents the room at the front of the house. We’re friendly, but not friends. Same for the guy who rents the middle floor. I’m not even sure what he does, but he keeps himself to himself. We each do our own thing. I like it that way. Everyone at arm’s length.

I unlock the door at the top of the second staircase and step into my own bastion of safety. I make myself a cup of green tea and sit down in front of the laptop. I notice my hand shakes slightly as I move the mouse around on the pad and access my emails.

Roisin didn’t waste any time. Her email is sitting there in the inbox. The paperclip icon indicating an attachment.

I take a deep breath and open the email.

Call me by six o’clock this evening or you’ll be sorry. Last chance.

Her mobile number is typed below. I move the cursor to the attachment. It’s a jpeg. I double-click and wait for the image to download.

It takes only a matter of seconds.

My stomach lurches and for a second I think I’m going to be sick.

‘Oh God, no.’ I drag at my face with my hands, rubbing my eyes as if I can rub away what I’ve just seen. But I can’t.

There in front of me, filling the screen, is a picture of myself and Niall Marshall. Any other picture and I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid, but this one… Where the hell did she find it? I had totally forgotten about it.

Somewhere in the distance I hear the doorbell ring, followed by footsteps taking the stairs two at a time. I don’t fully register this or my name being called until there is a rapping of knuckles on the door.

I jump in my seat, knocking the cup of green tea flying. The earthy-coloured liquid performs a jump only physics could explain and cascades across the keyboard of my laptop.

‘Erin? Erin? You there?’ Ed is knocking on the door.

For a moment I’m paralysed as I stare at the door and then back at the laptop. ‘Erin!’ He’s more insistent and there’s a note of agitation in his voice. ‘Are you okay?’ He bangs harder on the door.

Adrenalin kicks in and I grab the laptop, turning it upside down, hoping the tea hasn’t reached the vital components. ‘Won’t be a minute!’ I call out. I rush through to the bedroom and into the small en suite. Grabbing a towel, I wipe at the keyboard.

‘Erin!’ He’s definitely gone past the agitated stage now.

I stand the laptop upside down, like a tent and hope it’s enough to save it from permanent damage. ‘I’m coming!’ As I bustle past the table, I upright the offending cup and throw a tea towel on the table to soak up the remains of the tea. Unfortunately, most of it seems to have gone on the laptop.

When I open the door, Ed is standing there, his face taking on a pink tinge. His mouth is set in a firm line and there’s the familiar crease between his eyebrows he gets when he’s annoyed.

‘I was just about the break the door down,’ he says.

‘Sorry, I was in the bathroom.’ I step back so he can come in. ‘I wasn’t expecting you. I thought you were going out with Ralph.’

‘Yeah, well, Ralph is busy,’ he says. ‘I wanted to check on you anyway. Come back to mine if you’re not well. It’s much nicer than here.’ He waves his hand around with disdain. Ed has never made any secret of what he thinks of my living accommodation. It couldn’t be more different from his plush bachelor pad on the fourteenth floor with views of the Thames.

‘I’m okay here,’ I reply. I think of the laptop in the bathroom and check my watch. Thirty minutes until Roisin’s deadline.

‘Don’t be daft,’ says Ed. ‘I insist. Come back to mine.’

‘I just want to go to bed.’

‘Perfect. You can go to bed in much more comfortable surroundings than this.’

‘No, I mean here. I just want to go to bed here.’

‘Really, Erin, you’re so stubborn at times.’ The note of irritation is back. He picks up my jacket and handbag. ‘And silly. Now come on.’

I feel like a child as he ushers me out of the door. ‘My stuff,’ I say in a final act of protest.

‘Your overnight bag is still in my car. You put it in there this morning. Remember?’

He’s right. I did put it in the boot of his car earlier. I could kick myself. I glance at the clock. Twenty-five minutes to the deadline. Even if we get through the rush-hour traffic and to Ed’s apartment by six, there’s no way I can make a phone call to Roisin. Not with Ed there. I’ll have to nip to the loo and text her that I’ll call tomorrow. Hopefully that will hold her off from whatever it is she has planned.

County Cork, Ireland

Kerry wiped the petrol tank of the Yamaha with the polishing cloth. It looked good. His latest commission was to spray-paint an image of the human rib cage down the centre of the black tank and pop in a few mini skulls sitting on the rib bones. Unusual, but effective. He liked the less-than-ordinary private jobs he got in. Bike mechanics might be his trade but spray-paint artwork was his passion. A bike tattooist, if you like.

Draping a soft cloth over the tank to protect it, Kerry checked his watch. It was after six. He should call it a day soon. His cousin, Joe, had already finished and Max, Joe’s dad and owner of the workshop, wasn’t in today. That had given Kerry time to get the paint job finished.

Locking up behind him, Kerry left by the rear of the workshop. He only lived in the flat above but he wanted a quick smoke before he went up. Despite it being the middle of May, the day had been a particularly wet and dreary one. Kerry gave a little shiver, the sea breeze drifting in from the Irish Sea chilling his arms. He rolled a cigarette and, standing on the path, he looked across the High Street and to the service road opposite, which ran behind the parade of shops.

He saw something. At first he thought it was a pile of black bin bags that hadn’t been put in the commercial wheelie bins, but as he took a draw on his roll-up and looked closer, he realised it was someone kneeling down, bent over something. Or rather someone.

The person kneeling raised their head and flicked their hand towards the end of the service road. Then, as if sensing they were being watched, turned to look over their shoulder at Kerry.

‘What the…?’ said Kerry, instantly recognising Marie Hurley, not least because of her distinctive bobbed auburn hair.

She jumped to her feet and began running towards him. ‘Kerry! Kerry!’ she shouted. ‘Help me. Please.’

Kerry chucked his half-smoked cigarette to the ground and dived across the road. He caught Marie as she bundled into him in a blind panic.

‘It’s okay, Mrs Hurley,’ said Kerry, holding onto the tops of her arms. ‘Mrs Hurley. What’s wrong?’

She looked up at him. Her face was paler than normal, if that was possible. Her eyes were wide with fear. ‘It’s Jim,’ she said. ‘He’s had a fall or something.’ She pulled away from Kerry and then, taking hold of his forearm, started dragging him back down the service road. ‘He’s bleeding. Come quickly.’

Jim Hurley was indeed bleeding, badly. A dark crimson pool of blood was leaking out from under the back of his head. One of his arms was twisted underneath his body, which was sprawled flat out on the tarmac.

Kerry snatched his mobile from his pocket and dialled the emergency services.

‘Get a blanket and some towels,’ he instructed Marie, while he waited for his call to connect. He reached over and tried to locate a pulse in the man’s neck. It was there. Weak, but there.

The operator answered the call and after a few minutes’ exchanging information and advising on basic first aid, she assured Kerry the ambulance was on its way. Marie reappeared with a blanket.

‘Is he going to be okay?’ she asked as Kerry draped the pink candlewick bedspread over Jim’s body.

‘The ambulance will be here soon,’ said Kerry. He had no idea if Jim was going to be all right. He bundled the towel up and placed it at the side of Jim’s head.

‘If you can’t see where the wound is, then don’t move him,’ the operator instructed. ‘He might have spinal-cord injuries. Wait for the medics. Keep the towels either side of his head to stabilise him.’

‘I think I can see part of the wound,’ said Kerry. ‘It’s right at the back of his head. It looks pretty deep.’

‘Just leave the towel there. Don’t apply pressure. You could end up causing more damage.’

Kerry was no doctor but the trickle of blood from Jim’s ear that appeared didn’t look good to him. Marie was standing over her husband, looking down on him in a trance-like state. She was probably in shock.

‘It’s okay, Mrs Hurley. Come and kneel down. Hold his hand,’ said Kerry. Marie glanced around. ‘The ambulance will be here very soon. Come on, now.’ Marie nodded and, kneeling down, she took Jim’s hand, making soothing noises and offering reassuring words. Kerry suspected this was as much for her own benefit as for her husband’s.

Jim’s breathing was becoming shallower with each beat of his heart. Kerry willed the ambulance to get a move on. Rossway village was a bit out of the way, ten miles south from Cork itself on the Irish coast and the roads were twisty and narrow. Not exactly the easiest of routes to be throwing an ambulance around.

The sound of an empty bottle being knocked and rolling across the road made Kerry look up. He thought he saw something move in the shadows of the evening sun. A cat jumped out from behind one of the wheelie bins, trotted across the road and then sprang up onto the fence before disappearing into the grounds of the doctor’s surgery.

A thought broke into Kerry’s consciousness. The doctor’s surgery. Why didn’t he think of that before? He looked at the building. It was in darkness. He dismissed the small beacon of hope with his next thought. Half an hour earlier and one of the doctors might still have been there. Now, though, they would all have gone home. As far as he was aware, neither of the GPs lived in Rossway. It wasn’t as if he could get one of them here to help. There was, of course, Diana Marshall. She used to be the local GP, but he dismissed the idea pretty much straight away as well. She lived on the edge of the village. It would take over ten minutes to get there and back. The ambulance would be here by then. Besides, he couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t have been drinking tonight. From what Roisin had told him in the past, her mother more than liked her sherry.

Eventually, there came the reassuring sound of an engine turning at speed and blue lights bouncing off the walls of the High Street. Kerry ran out to the main road and flagged the ambulance down, pointing to the service road.

With an assured confidence and professionalism, the paramedics examined Jim, wrapped his head with a temporary dressing and manoeuvred him from the ground to the back of the emergency vehicle. It took less than five minutes.

Kerry stood with his arm around Marie’s shoulder as they watched.

‘Is he going to be all right?’ Marie asked.

The paramedic pushed the stretcher into the back of the ambulance. ‘We need to get him to hospital straight away,’ he said. ‘Are you coming with us?’

‘Oh, but I haven’t locked up,’ said Marie, looking anxiously back up the steps to her flat.

‘Don’t be worrying about that now, Mrs Hurley,’ said Kerry. ‘Give me the keys. I’ll do it for you.’ He was aware of the undercurrent of urgency and had registered that the paramedic had offered no comment to Marie’s question of Jim’s prognosis.

Marie grappled in her coat pocket and pulled out a set of keys. ‘The flat and café keys are all on there.’

Kerry took the bunch. ‘Off you go, now,’ he said. ‘Do you want me to contact Fiona?’

‘Yes please. Tell her to phone Erin too.’

Chapter 2

London, England

When the call comes, it strikes me numb with fear. I don’t know what to think or what to feel. Thoughts and emotions are crashing around in my head like bumper cars, bouncing and rebounding, stopping and starting. Confusion reigns.

‘How bad is he?’ A thread of compassion laces Ed’s voice. ‘What exactly did your sister say?’

‘Fiona said it’s serious. He’s in intensive care. Apparently, Dad fell down the steps to the flat and hit his head,’ I reply with a hint of impatience. I was uptight enough that I hadn’t been able to phone Roisin earlier. This is only adding to my agitation. ‘Fiona was in a bit of a fluster when she rang.’ I hit the print button on Ed’s laptop and the image of the document on the screen is sent to the printer.

‘Have you booked a return flight?’ Ed moves behind me as I loom over the printer. He squeezes my shoulders in a reassuring gesture.

‘No, I’ll see how things are first. I need to go and make sure Mum’s all right, really.’ Then more because I feel I ought to, I add, ‘And see how Dad is, of course.’ I silence the voice that also wants to add the need to face Roisin.

‘Okay, I’ll sort out some cover at work.’

‘I’m sure Amber will do my shifts, she’s always saying she needs more hours.’ I take the sheet of paper as it glides out of the printer.

‘Keep me in the loop, though, won’t you? You know what it’s like organising the staff rota.’

Whilst it’s nice being the boss’s girlfriend, it sometimes irritates me that Hamilton’s Health and Beauty Spa always comes first with Ed.

‘I’ll do my best,’ I say. ‘I’ll have a better idea once I’m there and can speak to the doctors myself.’

There’s a small silence before Ed speaks again.

‘Will you be okay on your own? Do you want me to come with you?’ I can detect an apprehension in his voice. ‘It will be a bit tricky with work, but I could manage a couple of days away, I should think.’

I withhold the sigh that threatens to escape. I know Ed better than he realises. His priority is work and the offer to accompany me is more out of duty than concern. I take care to respond in a conciliatory manner, not wishing to get into an argument.

‘No, it’s okay. Probably best if I go alone.’

‘Are you sure you’re up to it? You were feeling sick earlier.’

‘It was nothing. I’m fine now and I’ll be all right on my own. Thank you, anyway.’

‘Sure? Okay. Look, I’ll organise you a cab home so you can pack and I’ll book another to take you to the airport.’ This time the relief in his voice is very much apparent. ‘I would take you myself but you know what it’s like at work…really busy…I’ve got meetings …’ His voice trails off.

‘Thank you. And don’t worry. I know what it’s like.’ I ignore the fact that Ed actually has the day off tomorrow.

As I climb into the cab, this time I release the sigh unrestricted. Ireland definitely isn’t a place I want to be going. Since moving to England, my visits home have been few and far between. Far too many unhappy memories linger around the coastal village where I grew up. And now I’m being forced to face them. The unease begins to transform into fear.

Once the cab turns the corner, leaving Ed and his apartment behind, I take my phone from my pocket and find the email Roisin sent me. Her number is highlighted blue and I double-tap. After a few seconds the call is connected and I hear the sound of the phone ringing.

The phone goes to voicemail.

‘It’s me…’ I hesitate. I need to be careful what I say. I’m not paranoid, merely cautious. Maybe overly, but it has stood me in good stead all this time and I’m not about to get caught out now. ‘I’m coming over. I’ll ring you again when I’m in Rossway.’

County Cork, Ireland

Looking at my father lying in his hospital bed, crisp white linen and a cellular blanket surrounding him, his face seems to have taken on a grey tinge. He looks older, frailer and smaller, somehow, as if he has suddenly aged without me noticing. His chest rises and falls as he lies motionless in a medically induced coma. He’s hooked up to a ventilator, which wheezes up and down, helping him to breathe as the heart monitor bleeps a steady beat.

‘How is he?’ I ask Mum who, having embraced me, is now settling herself back into the plastic bedside chair.

She puts her forefinger to her lips and whispers, ‘They’re going to give him a brain scan in the morning. They want to see if the swelling will go down first.’ She gives me half a smile, which I suspect is supposed to be reassuring. ‘It’s all right. Your dad’s a fighter. Don’t go getting yourself upset now.’

I turn my gaze away from the ashen look on her face. The guilt weighs me down. Guilt I feel because I cannot summon as much sympathy for my father as I know I should.

Our relationship has always been a strained one, with any feelings of compassion finally quashed ten years ago. I swallow down the anger that always accompanies the memory. This time I am able to meet Mum’s eyes.

‘What exactly happened?’ I fiddle with my necklace. I need to keep my hands busy. Nerves are making them shake.

‘I came out of the café and found your father at the bottom of the steps,’ says Mum. ‘That’s it, really.’ She sniffs and when I look up, she’s fumbling with her sleeve and finally produces a tissue. She dabs her eyes and wipes her nose.

‘Do you want anything, Mum? Have you eaten?’ I change the subject, not wanting to upset her.

‘No, I’m grand,’ she replies quietly, a fleeting smile of gratitude dashes across her face. She stuffs the tissue back up her sleeve. ‘The nurses have been looking after me, so they have.’

I’m not convinced Mum looks grand at all. She looks tired and strained. ‘I’ll make you a fresh cup of tea,’ I say. ‘I could do with one myself. Back in a minute.’

One of the nurses kindly shows me to the community kitchen, where all the tea and coffee making paraphernalia is housed. While I wait for the kettle to boil I can’t help feeling more concern for Mum than for Dad. I don’t like the dark circles under her eyes or the depth of the hollows below her cheekbones. She looks exhausted. No doubt she has been working herself hard at the café. Now, with Dad incapacitated and set for a long recovery, I wonder how on earth she will manage to look after him and run the business on her own.

The next thought snakes its way from the back of my mind, where it has been lurking, waiting to strike. What if he doesn’t pull through? How do I feel about that? I don’t trust myself to examine the notion too closely. I’m not quite sure I’ll like what I might find. Instead, I focus on producing an acceptable-looking cup of tea for Mum and venture back to collect her. We’re not allowed to take food or drink into ICU so we sit in the small family room at the end of the corridor.

‘You just missed your sister,’ says Mum, resting her cup on her knees. ‘She had to get back for the kids. Sean’s on duty this evening. You know he’s a sergeant now?’

‘Yes, Fiona said. He deserves it. He’s a good police officer.’ It seems a bit surreal talking about normal, everyday things when this situation is anything but normal.

After drinking the tea, we venture back to my father’s bedside. It’s very quiet, apart from the rhythmic bleep of the monitor and the sighing of the breathing apparatus as it wheezes air down the tube. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

‘Time’s getting on. There’s no point in you hanging around with me,’ says Mum, breaking the silence that has settled. ‘You go on back and stay with Fiona tonight, she’s expecting you.’

‘What about you? I don’t want to leave you,’ I reply frowning. ‘You can’t stay all night, surely.’

‘I’m not going anywhere.’ My mother pats my knee. ‘Please, go to Fiona’s. Get some rest and then come back in the morning. I’ll ring if there’s any change. Besides, they won’t let you stay here on the ward.’

I’m not entirely convinced, but deciphering her subtly placed eyebrows, I determine she isn’t going to take no for an answer.

‘Okay, only if you’re sure,’ I relent.

‘I’m positive. In the morning go over to Wright’s motorcycle shop and get the keys for the flat and the café. You can nip up to the flat and bring my wash bag and some clean clothes.’

Mum stands up. I take this as a signal it’s time for me to leave. I walk round and give her a kiss.

‘It will be okay, Mum. I’ll see you in the morning,’ I say, hoping to sound positive before I beat the retreat. ‘Do I need to ask for anyone in particular at the bike shop?’

‘Er, yes…Kerry,’ replies Mum distractedly as a nurse approaches us.

‘I’m just doing some routine observations,’ the nurse explains.

‘I’ll get out the way,’ I say, giving Mum a reassuring smile. ‘Bye, Mum.’

‘What about your Dad?’ says Mum. ‘You should say goodbye to him too.’

‘We like to encourage family to still communicate with the patient,’ explains the nurse. ‘Sometimes, it can help with their recovery.’

I hesitate. ‘What should I say?’

‘Just speak to your father as if he’s awake,’ says the nurse. ‘It seems a little odd at first but once you’ve done it a few times, it becomes much easier.’

I go over to the bed and reach out to touch his hand. ‘Bye, Dad,’ I say, feeling terribly self-conscious. The nurse smiles encouragingly and I feel I need to say something else. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

It’s awkward and it’s not without relief that I escape the hospital and head over to Fiona’s.

*

Mini lights and precision-planted marigolds line the brick path to Fiona’s front door. The outside light bathes the garden, highlighting the alternating dark-and-light-green stripes running up and down the lawn. Tidy to the point of being manicured. The black gloss of the door with shiny chrome furniture is smart and exact. Fiona, my older sister by eight years, opens the door before I reach the end of the path.

Meeting me on the doorstep, she draws me into an embrace. The familiar smell of Fiona’s perfume clings to me in the same way I cling to her. A feeling of relief seeps out. Fiona has always been able to do that. To take away my troubles. To fix whatever needs fixing.

‘Hi-ya, hun,’ she says, giving me a squeeze. ‘How are you? How’s everything at the hospital? No change, I expect.’

‘I’m fine. It’s lovely to see you. Dad’s still sedated and Mum is happy to be there by herself.’ I give a little shiver in the night air. ‘I didn’t want to leave her, but she insisted.’

‘I know, but there’s nothing we can do. Anyway, come on in out of the cold. The kids are fast asleep, so we’ll go quietly.’

Sitting in Fiona’s immaculate kitchen, I hold my hands around the fine-bone-china cup. The heat from the cup warms my fingers. On the fridge door there is a family snapshot of the Keanes: Fiona, Sean, Sophie and Molly. It looks like it was taken last year on their holiday to Spain. Sean is giving Sophie a piggy-back. Fiona and Molly are looking up at them and everyone is beaming with happiness. Sean is a tall man and none too skinny either. He must look very imposing in his Guard’s uniform. In this picture, though, he reminds me of Roald Dahl’s BFG and I think how aptly named their daughter, Sophie, is.

‘How’s Sean?’ I ask, as Fiona sits down beside me.

‘He’s fine. Well, that’s not entirely true. He’s exhausted, if I’m honest. We both are. His mum needs a lot of looking after. We’re thinking about moving her in with us.’

‘Is she getting to that stage where she needs a lot of care?’ I ask.

‘She can’t cook properly, she’s a danger to herself.’ Fiona gives a weary sigh. ‘Not so long ago, she left the frying pan on the stove and burnt right through it, setting off the fire alarms. There was smoke everywhere. The fire brigade turned up, it was chaos. Since then, I’ve been cooking for her. She’s lovely, though, so I wouldn’t mind her moving in. After all, she is the reason we came home.’

I nod, remembering the day well when Fiona and Sean packed up their little family in London and headed back home to care for his recently widowed mother. I had managed to hold back my tears until the car and removal lorry disappeared around the corner.

Funny how Fiona regards it as coming home, whereas I look on her return as leaving home. To me, home means a place of love and fond memories, a feeling of being safe and cared for. Coming to Ireland is not coming home for me.

My thoughts turn to Roisin’s email again and my stomach lurches as the fear that has pitched up and taken residency gives another kick. I had thought I’d tell Fiona about it but now I’ve changed my mind. Maybe I can get this sorted without her knowing. She has a lot on her plate at the moment, what with Dad and Sean’s mother. I’ll tell her only if I have to. I’m sure I can handle this. At least, I hope I can.

Fiona’s mobile phone cuts through my thoughts. From this side of the conversation, I guess it’s Sean. I busy myself with making another cup of tea while she wanders off into the living room for more privacy.

She returns a few minutes later.

‘Sean’s going to call by the hospital at some point in the night to check on Mum and Dad.’

‘What exactly happened? How did Dad end up falling down the steps?’ I ask.

‘I’m still not entirely sure. Apparently, Mum was in the café tidying up at the end of the day and Dad went upstairs with the day’s takings to put them in the safe for the night. When he didn’t come back down, Mum went out to look for him and found him at the foot of the stairs.’

‘Was there anyone else there? Did they see anything?’

‘No, just Kerry from the bike shop across the way.’

‘What time did all this happen?’

‘Soon after six,’ says Fiona after a moment’s thought. ‘That’s what time he always puts the takings in the safe. Of course, we’ve no way of knowing if that’s what he did.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Mum can’t find the key for the safe, so we can’t check to see if Dad fell before or after he went upstairs. There was no bag beside him.’

‘You don’t think he was robbed, do you?’

‘We just don’t know,’ says Fiona. ‘It’s all a bit worrying.’

‘Doesn’t Mum know where the key is so we can check?’

‘No. She can’t remember,’ says Fiona. ‘I tried to ask but she was so distracted with Dad, I didn’t like to push it.’

‘I don’t suppose you know where the key would be or even if there’s a spare one?’ I ask half-heartedly.

Fiona gives a wry smile. ‘You know what Dad’s like. Top-secret information that is.’

‘I’ll have a look round when I’m at the flat,’ I say. Much as my feelings towards my father are stifled, the thought that someone mugged him is not nice.

‘To be honest, that’s the least of our worries at the moment,’ says Fiona.

‘Yes, you’re right.’ I force myself to conjure up the compassion I know should be there. I change the subject to divert this uncomfortable acknowledgement. ‘How are Molly and Sophie?’

‘The kids are grand,’ says Fiona. A smile spreads across her face at their mention. ‘Molly is coming up to the last term of nursery. She goes off to school in September. She’ll be in junior infants, and Sophie will be going into fifth year of senior infants.’

‘So, two more years and then secondary school.’

‘I know, I can’t believe how the time has flown,’ says Fiona. ‘Remember when Sophie was born, she was such a scrap of a thing. All that red hair against her lily-white skin.’

‘She looked like an alien,’ I say, thinking back. A lump makes a bid to establish itself in my throat. I feel Fiona’s hand cover my own and hear her soft words.

‘It’s okay,’ she says. ‘It’s been a long day. Don’t go upsetting yourself, now. You can’t change anything. It will all be fine. I promise.’

When I go up to bed shortly afterwards, I stop and peep in the open door of Molly’s bedroom. The five-year-old is fast asleep, her fair curls fan the pillow like a golden starburst. Molly has been lucky to inherit her mother’s colouring, but not so lucky with the curse of the Hurley curls.

I can’t resist looking in on Sophie, who is snuggled down under the duvet. Admittedly she doesn’t have the Hurley curls, but she most definitely has the ginger colouring, or auburn, as Mum likes to call it.

I touch my own hair, the colour I have grown to love, a dark-orangey brown, the curls haven’t quite won the same affection and, every day, I’m grateful to whoever brought hair-straighteners to the mass market. I can remember the absolute relief I felt on my fourteenth birthday when Fiona gave me a set as a present so I would no longer have to use the household iron in an attempt to banish the unruly curls. The ironing effect didn’t quite have the staying power and by lunchtime my hair had usually sprung back up into its familiar coils, much to the amusement of my classmates.

Fiona has always made things better. Right from making cakes when I felt fed up, taking me to the cinema to see the latest film, walking me to and from school when no one would walk with me because I’d fallen out with Roisin, to helping me fill in an application form for college and helping me find student digs.

Muffled footsteps on the carpeted landing bring me from my thoughts. Fiona appears at my side.

‘I was just looking at them. Fast asleep. Oblivious,’ I whisper.

‘Oblivious to everything,’ she says, putting her arm around my shoulder. ‘Is everything all right? Apart from the obvious…Dad.’

I feel my resolve weaken. I want to tell her about Roisin. Fiona will know what to do. She always has and before I can check myself the words are out.

‘Fiona, there’s something I need to tell you.’

‘Aha, and what’s that?’ says Fiona, unhooking her arm and pulling the bedroom door closed. She stifles a yawn.

Fiona looks tired. Even her hug had the air of exhaustion around it. Now isn’t the time to burden her with news of the email.

‘I’m glad I came back,’ I say quickly.

She gives a smile. ‘I’m glad as well. So is Mum. And Dad will be too.’

I don’t challenge this. It’s my turn to give out the hugs now.

Chapter 3

I walk round on to Beach Road and the familiar parade of shops greets me on one side and the Irish Sea on the other. The fishing boats are tied up on the shore and the tidal waters of the estuary slop back and forth.

Seahorse Café is on the end of the parade of shops. The buildings that make up the parade are stone-built to echo the traditional style of the area, as are the small-paned windows and wooden doors. Above the shops is the living accommodation. My parents’ flat, my childhood home, stretches over four shop premises. Along the parade is a paper shop, hairdresser’s, a charity shop and Seahorse Café, my father’s pride and joy. The village road runs adjacent to the shops and on the other side is ‘Wright’s Motorbike Servicing & Repairs’.

My dad’s car is parked in the bays outside the café. I have the keys, so I can use it while I’m here. Sean is sorting out the insurance for me. I’m not sure what my dad would say if he knew. He’d probably be horrified. The car is old, but you wouldn’t think so. My dad has cared for that car like it was his own flesh and blood. I give a small laugh at the expression and correct myself. He cares for the car more than his own flesh and blood.

Crossing the road to the bike garage, I take a deep breath before entering. I have no desire whatsoever to come here, but Fiona is taking the children to nursery and school so it’s down to me to collect the keys to Mum’s flat. I’ve yet to call Roisin, but I’ll do that once I have the keys, then I can let myself into the flat and phone her in private.

I hope it will be only Kerry there and I won’t have to see Jody Wright, his cousin. With any luck Kerry won’t even remember me, our paths had only crossed a couple of times in our teenage years. However, I’m sure Jody won’t have forgotten me, after all, we had been at school together.

Another feeling of disquiet settles over me. School days bring no comfort or feeling of nostalgia to me. I breathe deeply and exhale slowly, blowing away the dark memories from my mind.

A bell tinkles above the doorway as I open and close the door. It’s a small reception area with a coffee machine in one corner that has seen better days. Either side are two chairs and a small table with a selection of bike and motoring magazines, all looking well-thumbed and dog-eared. The sound of a radio filters through into the reception area from the open doorway behind the counter, accompanied by the sporadic sound of some sort of power tool and the clanking of metal against metal. Obviously, the workshop. I stand at the counter patiently, hoping Kerry will appear.

After a minute or two I call out a ‘Hello!’ trying to time it with a lull in the noise. It appears an unsuccessful tactic, so I decide to go round the rear of the building to the workshop entrance.

Picking my way through a couple of oily patches in the courtyard, to avoid any stains on my white trainers, I head towards the open double garage doors.

‘Hello,’ I call out as I enter the building. The smell of oil and petrol, mixed with a dirty, greasy sort of smell, hits me, catching in the back of my throat. There are a number of bikes in the workshop, all in various states of repair. One looks like it has been stripped right down to the frame; there are bits of motorbike lying alongside. I assume they are bits of motorbike. To me it’s a mass of metal and plastic.

To my right a curtain of thick industrial plastic strips separates one side of the workshop. A blond head pokes through, the face obscured by a white mask and a pair of thick protective goggles. Pulling the mask from his face, he speaks.

‘All right?’ he says looking over at me. ‘Can I help you?’

I swallow hard. I recognise the voice instantly. It’s Jody Wright. He doesn’t appear to recognise me. Perhaps I can get away with this.

‘Hi. I’m after Kerry.’ I turn my face from view, looking around the workshop as if trying to locate Kerry.

‘He’s upstairs in the stock room. I’ll get him.’ I can hear Jody’s footsteps come further into the workshop. ‘Oi! Kerry! You’ve got a visitor!’ His voice bellows out, followed by a shrill whistle.

A moment later, I hear the door at the top of the stairs open.

‘All right?’ comes another voice.

‘Someone to see you,’ says Jody.

I have no choice but to turn around this time. I look up at the figure standing at the top of the steps.

‘Hi…I’ve come to get the keys for Marie Hurley.’

Before Kerry can answer, Jody interrupts. ‘Hey, wait a minute! I know you.’ I turn and watch him take a few strides across the workshop, coming to a halt in front of me, whereupon he whisks his goggles from his face. ‘Well, well, well, if it isn’t Curly Hurley!’ I stand there in silence as I come face to face with my nemesis of those wretched childhood days. ‘It’s me…Joe. Jody Wright!’ He grins at me, raking his fingers through his mop of longish blond hair. ‘We were in the same class at Rossway School. Mr Capper’s class, or Mr Crapper, as we used to call him. I sat behind you and Roisin Marshall. Come on, you must remember me.’

Despite feeling myself flinch, I remain composed. I’m older now. I’m in control. I can handle this.

Straightening up, giving him the benefit of my five-feet-eight-inches’ height, I look at him unsmiling. ‘How could I forget?’

‘Nearly didn’t recognise you without your curls,’ Joe says, nodding towards my poker-straight hair, which hangs loose over my shoulders. ‘Do you remember my cousin, Kerry? He used to come and stay sometimes during the summer.’

I give a shrug. ‘A bit.’

Kerry is watching me. He has blond hair, not dissimilar to Jody’s, actually, casually parting in the middle with longish layers giving a sort of dishevelled look. He wears a pair of blue overalls, which hang from his waist and bear the scars of many a battle with a paintbrush. The black t-shirt has suffered a similar fate, together with a rip at the left sleeve, revealing some sort of tribal-pattern tattoo around his bicep. He smiles at me and descends the steps.

‘I thought you looked familiar, I was just trying to place you,’ he says. ‘You were at Shane’s eighteenth birthday party, weren’t you?’

I nod, impressed with his recall. Shane is one of Joe’s older brothers. ‘That’s right. There was a big group of us.’ I shift on my feet. The desire to take a trip down memory lane is furthest from my mind.

Joe gives a laugh and carries on energetically. ‘There are quite a few of us Wrights. Kerry probably just blended in. One summer he came to stay and never went home, I don’t suppose me mam even noticed an extra person at the dinner table.’ I nod this time. He carries on enthusiastically. ‘What you up to these days? It must be about ten years. You disappeared without a trace.’

‘Working in London,’ I reply, really having no wish to get into this conversation. ‘Look, I don’t mean to be rude but what with my dad and everything…’ I wave my hand airily, hoping I don’t need to explain. I’m relieved when Kerry speaks, ending Joe’s desire to revisit our childhood days.

‘Yes, of course, you’ve got more important things to do than reminisce about the good old days. You’ll have to excuse my cousin’s enthusiasm,’ says Kerry, giving Joe a playful whack on the arm with back of his hand. Kerry ferrets around in the large side pocket of his trousers and after a moment produces a set of keys. He holds them out to me. ‘How is your dad?’

‘Not good. He’s stable, but they’re waiting for the swelling to go down before they can assess him further. He’s taken a nasty bang to his head. Thanks for asking.’ I take the keys from Kerry, his rough hands with grubby fingernails briefly brush my own well-moisturised and manicured fingers. ‘Mum said you helped her yesterday evening?’

‘It was nothing,’ replies Kerry shrugging. ‘I just happened to be out the back there. I called the ambulance and then locked up the flat. As I said, nothing really.’

‘Thank you, anyway. Mum really appreciates it. We all do.’

‘You should come down the pub one night and meet up with some of the old gang,’ says Joe.

Looking at him for a moment before I speak, I can’t think of anything less I want to do. ‘I’m only here for a few days, so probably won’t have time. And besides, if I wanted to catch up with everyone, I could have done that by now on Facebook.’ I give a little laugh, which I so don’t mean and then, turning my back on Joe, direct a slight nod at Kerry before heading out of the dirty workshop. I’m just congratulating myself on getting one over my old enemy when I hear him call after me.

‘See ya, Bunny!’

For a split second I’m transported back to my school days. Bunny is the nickname Joe used for me. A loose connection between the colour of my hair and carrots, which still appears to amuse him. I force myself to walk on and not acknowledge his parting shot.

*

Roisin’s heart pumped an extra beat. There was Erin Hurley walking across the green, heading straight to where Roisin and her mam had parked their car. Roisin had got Erin’s voicemail but it had come too late. She hadn’t been sure Erin would come but fate had intervened and made it impossible for her not to. The incident with Jim Hurley, unfortunate as it was for Erin, was fortunate for Roisin.

Suddenly, Roisin thought of her mam and how she would react. She looked across the roof of the car as they got out. Her mam, Diana, was having a good day today. She was calm. She was talking clearly. Thinking rationally. She had even been smiling a lot. Roisin was under no illusion that it was all about to end in a matter of seconds.

‘Mam,’ she called across to her. Diana looked up and smiled. Roisin didn’t return it. She flicked her eyes towards Erin. Her mother followed suit. Roisin watched the recognition spread across Diana’s face like a snow flurry. Her mother’s hand grappled for the car, resting on the front wing for support.

The athletic figure of Erin Hurley walked purposefully towards them. The curls might have gone, but the distinctive red hair was unmistakable as it reflected back the sun, almost challenging it to be brighter.

This was not how Roisin had wanted the meeting with Erin to happen. It was supposed to be just the two of them. Alone. On Roisin’s terms. Somewhere private. Not here in the middle of the village when she was caught by surprise.

Erin was only a few metres away and as she looked up, the recognition in her eyes was instant. The defiant look came a second later. She slowed her pace and came to a stop in front of their car. She fiddled with the bunch of keys she was holding.

‘Hello, Erin,’ said Roisin. She wanted to glance over at her mam to see if she was okay, but she didn’t want to break eye contact with Erin. Roisin had nothing to be ashamed about. She wasn’t the one who had done something so wrong. Roisin hadn’t caused her family this never-ending pain.

‘Hello, Roisin.’ Erin held Roisin’s gaze for a moment and then looked over at Diana. ‘Mrs Marshall.’

‘How is your father?’ Diana spoke with a removed tone to her voice. Roisin wasn’t sure her mam was really that concerned about Jim Hurley, but she asked as that was the polite thing to do.

‘Not too good at all,’ replied Erin.

‘I hope he makes a good recovery,’ said Diana. Her own recovery now in full swing. ‘Please pass on our best wishes to your mother.’

‘Thank you. I will.’

‘I take it you’ll be around for a few days?’ said Roisin, sensing this reunion was coming to a close.

‘That’s right, yes. Until I know he’s better and Mum is okay.’ The reply was stiff and cold.

‘We must catch up,’ said Roisin. ‘We have lots to talk about.’

‘If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know,’ said Diana, straightening her navy tailored jacket and dropping the car keys into her handbag.

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