Czytaj książkę: «The Stranger House»

1 Hilbert’s hotel

‘So why’s it called Illthwaite?’ asked Sam Flood.

She thought the bar was empty except for herself and Mrs Appledore but the answer came from behind her.

‘Illthwaite. An ill name for an ill place. Isn’t that what they say, Mrs Appledore?’

She turned to see a man emerging from the shady corner on the far side of the chimney breast.

Almost as skinny as she was and not much taller, with a pallid wrinkled face swelling from a pointed chin to a bulbous brow above which a few sad last grey hairs clung like sea grass on a sanddune, he had the look of a superannuated leprechaun, a similitude underlined by the garish green-and-orange checked waistcoat he wore under a dark grey suit jacket, shiny with age. His voice was high-pitched without being squeaky. He could have been anything from seventy to ninety. But his eyes were bright and keen.

‘And where do they say that, Mr Melton? Down at the Powderham, is it, where they’ve got more tongue than brain?’ said the landlady. ‘If you think silly gossip’s worth an extra ten p on your pint, maybe you should drink there more often.’

She spoke with a mock menace that wasn’t altogether mock.

The old man was unfazed.

‘I’ll take it under advisement, Mrs Appledore,’ he said. ‘Though we shouldn’t forget that the Powderham also offers Thai cuisine and live entertainment, not large incentives to a poor old pensioner, but strong attractions perhaps for a swinging young tourist. None of my business, you say. Quite right. Good day to you both.’

He saluted them with an old peaked cap which matched his waistcoat, set it precisely on his head and went out.

‘Pay him no heed, Miss Flood,’ said the landlady. ‘Ill’s nowt to do with sick or nasty. It comes from St Ylf’s, our church, and thwaite’s an old Viking word for a bit of land that’s been cleared.’

‘So how come the old boy bad-mouths his own village?’

‘Old Noddy Melton’s not local,’ said Mrs Appledore, as if this explained everything. ‘He retired here a few years back to follow his hobby, which is getting up people’s noses. Poor old pensioner indeed! What he gets now is more than most ordinary folk take home while they’re still working. And you need plenty to pay the Powderham’s fancy prices, believe me!’

Sam had noticed the Powderham Arms Hotel as she turned into Skaddale. In fact, not knowing what Illthwaite might offer by way of accommodation, she’d tried to get a room there but found it was booked up. The Stranger House on the other hand, despite its unfancy prices, had been able to give her a choice of its two guest rooms, though not before she and her passport had been subjected to the same kind of scrutiny she’d got from Heathrow Immigration who had broken open five of her Cherry Ripes before being persuaded they weren’t stuffed with crack.

She must have passed some kind of test because Mrs Appledore had become quite voluble as she led the way upstairs. Wayfarers had been stopping here at the Stranger for more than five hundred years, she’d proclaimed proudly. Its curious name derived from the fact that it had once been the Stranger House of Illthwaite Priory, meaning the building where travellers could enjoy the monks’ hospitality for a night or two.

‘That’s fascinating,’ said Sam without conviction as she inspected the bedroom. For once she was glad she wasn’t any bigger. Even at her height, if she’d been wearing her Saturday-night heels, the central low black beam would have been a real danger.

‘It’s a bit spooky, though,’ she went on, looking out at the mist-shrouded landscape through the one small window.

‘Well, it would be, seeing that we’ve got our own spook,’ said the landlady. ‘But nowt to be afraid of, just this dark fellow, likely an old monk, wandering around still. You’ll only ever catch a glimpse of him passing through a slightly open door and you can never catch up with him no matter how fast you move. Go after him, and there he’ll be, passing through another door.’

‘What if you follow him into a room like this, with only one door?’

‘They say once you start following the Dark Man, there’s always another door, no matter how long you keep chasing.’

‘Bit like Hilbert’s Hotel then,’ said Sam, trying to lighten things.

‘Don’t know it, dear. In Windermere, is it?’

‘No,’ said Sam. ‘It’s a made-up place in maths that has an infinity of rooms.’

‘Doing the laundry must be a real pain,’ observed Mrs Appledore. ‘I’m glad I’ve only got the two to show you. Unless we come across the Dark Man, that is.’

She spoke so lugubriously that Sam couldn’t help shivering. The pub’s low ceilings, shadowy corners, narrow windows and general air of not having been tarted up in living, or dead, memory didn’t make the prospect of such ghostly company appealing. What am I doing here anyway? she asked herself. Illthwaite would probably turn out to be a pointless diversion, any chance of real fact lay in Newcastle upon Tyne, some hundred miles further on. Here all she was doing was chasing one phantom at the risk of sharing a room with another.

Then Mrs Appledore, a most unspooky lady in her late fifties, with rosy cheeks, broad bosom and matching smile, let out a peal of uninhibited laughter and said, ‘Don’t worry, miss. I’ve never laid eyes on the bugger and I’ve lived here most of my life. Bathroom’s across the corridor. Come down to the bar when you’ve cleaned up and I’ll make you a sandwich. Or would you like something hot?’

The assumption that she was staying couched in such a friendly way was irresistible. Suddenly the room seemed less constricting. Also she’d been driving through steady drizzle since not long after dawn, and the thought of setting out once more had little appeal.

‘A sandwich will be fine,’ she said.

Ten minutes later she’d descended to the bar to find herself confronted by something resembling a small cob loaf from which slices of ham dangled like the skirts of a hovercraft.

Mrs Appledore had pushed a half-pint of beer towards her, saying, ‘First on the house, to welcome you to Illthwaite.’

Which had provoked her question about the origins of the name and the old leprechaun’s disconcerting interruption.

‘Anyway, don’t let old Noddy put you off,’ the landlady concluded. ‘He’s been living by himself too long and that sends you dotty. I should know. Woman on her own running a pub these days, I must be crazy!’

‘You’re saying he’s off his scone?’

‘If that means daft but not daft enough to lock up, yes,’ said Mrs Appledore cheerfully. ‘So what are you going to do with yourself while you’re here?’

Sam bit into her sandwich and nearly went into toxic shock when her tongue discovered that internally the ham had been coated with the kind of mustard you could strip paint with. She grabbed for the beer and took a long cooling pull, using the pause to consider her reply.

Pa’s advice on communication was, ‘Tell enough to get told what you want to know.’

‘I’ll see the sights, I guess,’ she said. ‘What do most visitors do?’

‘Most come to go walking on the fells. That’s what we call our hills,’ said Mrs Appledore. ‘As for sightseeing, there’s not a lot to look at except St Ylf’s, and the Wolf-Head Cross in the church-yard.’

‘Yeah?’ said Sam, carefully chewing at the ham’s mustard-free skirting. ‘The church would be the place where they keep the parish records, right?’

‘I suppose so,’ said Mrs Appledore. ‘You interested in that sort of thing?’

‘Could be. I think my gran might come from this part of the world,’ said Sam.

She looked for polite interest and got a blank.

‘Is that right? And what would her name have been?’

‘Flood, same as mine. Are there any Floods round here?’

‘Only in a wet winter when the Skad overflows down the valley. Got in the cellars at the Powderham three years back,’ said Mrs Appledore not without satisfaction. ‘But there’s definitely no local family called Flood. So when did your gran leave England?’

‘Your spring, 1960. February or March, I think.’

‘Spring 1960?’ echoed the woman.

‘Right. Does that mean something?’ asked Sam, detecting a note of significance.

‘Only that I turned fifteen in the spring of 1960,’ said Mrs Appledore rather wistfully. ‘Mam died the year before and I’d started helping Dad in the pub. Against the law, but I was big for my age, so strangers didn’t notice and locals weren’t going to complain. Point is, I knew everyone in the valley then. Definitely no local family called Flood. Sorry, dear. You sure it’s Illthwaite you’re after?’

Sam shrugged and said, ‘I’m short on detail, so maybe not. But I’ll check the church out anyway. What about the local school? They’ll have records too, right?’

‘Would do if we still had one. Got closed down three years back. Not enough kids, you see. The few there are get bussed into the next valley. When I was a kid, the place was really buzzing. Thirty or forty of us. Now the young couples get out, go where there’s a bit more life and a lot more money. Can’t blame them.’

‘Looks like it will have to be the church then. Is it far?’

‘No. Just a step. Turn right when you leave the pub. You can’t miss it. But you’ve not finished your sandwich. It’s OK, is it?’

‘The ham’s lovely,’ said Sam carefully. ‘I’ll take it with me. And one of these.’

She helped herself from a small display of English Tourist Board leaflets standing at the end of the bar as she slipped off her stool.

‘By the way, I tried my mobile upstairs, couldn’t get a signal.’

‘You wouldn’t. It’s the fells. They wanted to build a mast but Gerry wouldn’t let them.’

‘Gerry?’

‘Gerry Woollass up at the Hall.’

‘The Hall?’ Her mind went back to some of the old Eng. Lit. stuff they’d made her read at school. ‘You mean he’s like some sort of squire?’

‘No,’ said the woman, amused. ‘Gerry’s not the squire. He’s chairman of the Parish Council.’

And just as Sam was feeling rebuked for her archaism, Mrs Appledore added, ‘Gerry won’t be squire till old Dunstan, his dad, pops his clogs, which he’s in no hurry to do. If you need to phone, help yourself to the one in my kitchen.’

‘Thanks. I wanted to ring back home, tell them I was still in the land of the living. I’ll use my credit number so it won’t go on your bill.’

‘Fine. Through here.’

The landlady led her out of the bar and down the hall. The kitchen was a strange mix of old and new. Along the left-hand wall it was all modernity with a range of white kitchen units incorporating a built-in electric oven, fridge, dishwasher and stainless-steel sink. A coal fire glowed in a deep grate set in the end wall and from one of the two massive black crossbeams hung a pair of cured hams on hooks held by ropes running through pulleys screwed into the beam and thence to geared winding handles fixed into the walls. The floor was flagged with granite slabs which bore the marks of centuries of wear, as did the huge refectory table occupying most of the centre space. One of the slabs, a rectangle of olive green stone which ran from just inside the door to twelve inches or so under the table, had some carving on it, almost indecipherable now.

‘Latin,’ said the landlady when Sam paused to look. ‘Old Dunstan says it’s St Matthew’s Gospel. Ask and it shall be given, that bit. Sort of a welcome. This was the room that the monks fed the travellers in. Phone’s at yon end by the fireplace.’

As Sam made her way down the narrow corridor between the table and the units she had to pause to shut the dishwasher door.

‘Bloody nuisance,’ said Mrs Appledore.

‘Why not get something smaller?’ asked Sam, looking at the huge table.

‘No, not the table, those units,’ said the woman. ‘The table’s been here since the place were built. The units were Buckle’s idea.’

‘Buckle?’

‘My husband.’

Sam tried to puzzle this out as she made the connection home.

‘Yeah?’ said a familiar voice.

‘Pa, it’s me.’

‘Hey, Lu, it’s Sammy!’ she heard him yell. ‘So how’s it going, girl?’

‘Fine, Pa. How’re things back there?’

‘No problems,’ he said. ‘The new vines are looking good. Here’s your ma. Missing you like hell. Take care now.’

This got close to a heart-to-heart with her father. When he said you were missed, it made you feel missed clearer than a book of sonnets. Her eyes prickled with tears but she brushed them away and greeted her mother brightly, assuring her she was well and having a great time seeing a bit of the country before getting down to work.

Despite this, Lu needed more reassurance, asking after a while, ‘Sam, you sure you’re OK?’

‘I told you, Ma. Fit as a butcher’s dog.’

‘It’s just that a couple of times recently I got this feeling…’

‘Ma, is this some of your my people stuff?’

‘Mock my people, you’re mocking yourself, girl. I’m just telling you what I’ve been told. You watch out for a stranger, Sam.’

‘Ma, I’m in England. They’re all bleeding strangers!’

Mrs Appledore had left the kitchen to give her some privacy. When she finished her call, Sam blew her nose, then headed for the door. The winding gear to raise the hams caught her eye and she paused to examine it. Instead of a simple wheel-and-axle system, it had three gearing cogwheels. Between two blinks of her eye, her mind measured radiuses, turned them into circumferences, counted cogs, and calculated lifting power.

‘Real antiques those. As old as the house, they say. Ropes been changed of course, but ‘part from a bit of oiling, they’re just the same as they were when some old monk put them together,’ said Mrs Appledore from the doorway.

‘Clever old monk,’ said Sam. ‘This is real neat work. Did they have bigger pigs in those days? With this gearing you could hoist a whole porker, if the rope held.’

‘Bigger appetites maybe. Talking of which, you left your sandwich on the bar. I’ve wrapped it in a napkin so you can eat it as you walk to the church. And here’s a front-door key in case I’m out when you get back. And I thought this old guidebook might help you if you’re looking round the village. Better than that useless leaflet.’

She proffered a leather-bound volume, almost square in shape.

‘That’s kind,’ said Sam, taking the book and opening it at the title page.

A GUIDE to ILLTHWAITE and its ENVIRONS being a brief introduction to the history, architecture,and economy of the parish of Illthwaite inSkaddale in the County of Cumberland,with maps and illustrations,prepared by the Reverend Peter K. Swinebank DDVicar of St Ylf’s Church, Illthwaite,assisted by Anthony Woollass Esquire of Illthwaite Hall.Printed at the Lunar Press, Whitehaven mdcccxciv

‘Eighteen ninety-four,’ she worked out. ‘Isn’t this valuable? I’d love to borrow it, but I’m worried about damaging it.’

‘Don’t be daft,’ said the woman comfortably. ‘I’ve loaned it to worse than you and it’s come to no harm.’

Worse than you. Had to be a compliment in there somewhere, thought Sam.

‘Then thank you so much.’

‘Think nowt of it,’ said the woman. ‘Enjoy the church. See you later. Don’t forget your sandwich.’

‘Won’t do that in a hurry. See you later!’

Outside, she found the drizzle which had accompanied her most of the way from London seemed at last to have given up. She reached into her hired car parked on the narrow forecourt and opened the glove compartment. There were three Cherry Ripes in there. She’d been incredulous when Martie, whose gorgeous looks had earned her more air miles than most Qantas pilots by the time she left uni, had told her you couldn’t get them outside of Oz. Life without a daily injection of this cherry-and-coconut mix in its dark chocolate wrapping had seemed impossible and she’d stuffed a month’s supply into her flight bag. Unfortunately the ravages of Heathrow Customs had been followed by the rapine of the Aussie friends she’d stayed with in London, and now she was down to her last three. She slipped two of them into her bumbag, one to eat on her walk to the church, one for emergencies.

Then she took one of them out and replaced it in the compartment.

Knowing yourself was the beginning of wisdom, and she had still to find a way of not consuming every bit of chocolate available once she started.

The landlady had followed her to the front door. In case she’d noticed the business with the Cherry Ripes, Sam held up the cob and nibbled appreciatively at one of the dangling skirts of ham. Then with the Illthwaite Guide tucked under one arm, she set off along the road.

Mrs Appledore stood and watched her guest out of sight, then turned and went back into the Stranger House, slipping the bolt into the door behind her. In her kitchen she lifted the telephone and dialled. After three rings, it was answered.

‘Thor, it’s Edie,’ she said. ‘Something weird. I’ve got a lass staying here, funny little thing, would pass for a squirrel if you glimpsed her in the wood, skin brown as a nut, hair red as rowan berries. Looks about twelve, but from her passport she’s early twenties…Don’t interrupt, I’m coming to the point. Her name’s Sam Flood…That’s right. Sam for Samantha Flood, it’s in her passport. She’s from Australia, got an accent you could scratch glass with, and she thinks her grandmother might have come from these parts…1960, spring…Yes, ‘60, so it’s got to be just coincidence, but I thought I’d mention it. She’s off up to the church to see if there’s any records…Yes, I’ll be there, but not till he’s well screwed down. I’ll take your word the little bugger’s dead!’