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Chapter Three
Now

HMP Stafford, Staffordshire

We finally make it in through the gates of the prison and into the visitor car park just after four. I’m conscious about how long it may take to get through the sign-in process in the visitors’ centre, so as Jack is applying the handbrake, my hand is already on the door handle.

‘Hold on a sec, will you?’ he cautions, killing the engine. ‘Before you go in there, are you sure you want to?’

I frown at the unnecessary delay. ‘I wouldn’t have come with you if I wasn’t.’

‘I know, I know, but I kind of put you on the spot when I turned up this afternoon. I didn’t give you the opportunity to say no. This will be the first time you’ve seen Turgood since his trial. Are you sure you’re ready? Mentally prepared, I mean.’

My chest tightens as I picture his face in the dock. Even when his whole world was about to come tumbling down, there wasn’t an ounce of remorse in his eyes. I wanted to laugh at him, and tell him how good it felt to see justice finally being delivered for Freddie, Mike and Steve. Yet, when the verdict was delivered, I didn’t feel any pleasure whatsoever. I have no doubt he finally got what he deserved, but at what cost to Freddie and the others? How many other children suffered at the hands of Turgood and his cohorts but didn’t feel brave enough to come forward and have their lives put under the microscope?

I exhale deeply. ‘The video on his hard drive is the biggest breakthrough I’ve had in years. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t see it through.’

Jack nods in reluctant acceptance. ‘Very well. The governor is arranging a private room for you to meet him in and I’ll be there with you, but as a friend rather than in any formal capacity. I’ll hang back so the two of you can speak freely, but I want to warn you to be careful.’

The words catch in my throat. ‘Careful?’

Jack momentarily looks out of his window as if summoning the strength to speak again. ‘It’s going to be weird enough for you coming face to face with him again, but remember it’s his first time seeing you since the trial too. Since he last saw you, he’s been sentenced to spend the rest of his life behind bars. Okay, in a facility specifically used to house sexual offenders, he won’t be subjected to the level of violence and recrimination he might have experienced at another Cat-C facility, but it will still be a sharp change to the lifestyle he was used to.’ He sighs. ‘What I’m trying to say is that he will hold you accountable for this change to his circumstances, and he’s had weeks to think about what he might say to you in the event your paths ever crossed again.’

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones,’ I mutter, prising the door open, until he reaches for my arm.

‘I’m saying, don’t let him get a rise out of you. Right now, you’re in shock with what I’ve told you and you need to keep a clear head in there. Ask him what you want to ask him but don’t take whatever he says to heart.’

I fix him with a firm stare and nod. ‘I’ll be fine. Now, can we get a move on before they say we’re too late?’

Exiting the car, we hurry through the car park and into the visitor centre. Jack explains who we are to the guard at the desk, who then asks us both to provide identification. Once he’s found us on the computer screen, he makes us sign the register and invites us to deposit any personal items in one of the lockers that line the wall at the side of the building. Once they’re satisfied we’re not carrying any weapons or contraband, one of the guards escorts us through the gates, along a narrow windowless corridor, and into the beating heart of the facility.

We arrive at a steel door, reminiscent of a cell door in a police station. Outside the room there is a monitor receiving a signal from a camera within the room. It currently displays a table and three chairs but it doesn’t appear that Turgood has been brought down yet. The prison guard who escorted us advises that he will wait outside the room and will observe us from the monitor, though won’t be able to hear anything said. He tells us he is there for the prisoner’s protection as much as our own.

Unlocking the door, he ushers us inside before closing and locking the door behind us. The room itself is brighter than it appeared on the screen. There are high windows, all barred, which let in a surprising volume of light given how narrow they are. Jack selects one of the chairs and carries it towards the back of the room before sitting.

My breathing is shallow and as I drop onto the remaining chair this side of the table, I feel lightheaded. I’ve been forcing images of Turgood watching Anna out of my mind but now it’s all I can imagine, and I want to be sick. Overhead, a fan whirs somewhere out of sight, pumping artificially cooled air into the room, but it is doing little to quell the heat in my face and neck.

There is a crunch and a grinding noise as the door on the opposite side of the room is unlocked, and when it opens a moment later, another uniformed guard steps through and checks Jack and I are both seated before nodding for Turgood to step forward. The prisoner waits for his cuffs to be removed before sauntering into the room, his eyes practically on stalks as he sees me sitting and waiting like an obedient dog.

He doesn’t utter a word, merely sliding onto the seat across the table from me and crossing one leg over the other. His almost white hair has grown out more since I last saw him and it looks as though he’s made no effort to brush it ahead of this meeting. The pale-blue prison shirt and denim trousers make his face look washed out, and yet he still carries himself with an air of superiority, to the point where it almost feels like he is the one who has come to visit me.

I look to Jack for guidance but see that his head is bent and he is staring at his shoes. Turning back to face Turgood, I’m not sure whether I should speak first or wait for him to engage me. I don’t even know how to start, short of demanding answers about my sister.

He doesn’t speak either, his tongue poking out to wet his lips but then receding. It’s like he’s daring me to crack first and break the awkward silence. Unlike him, I don’t have time to waste.

‘You know why I’m here,’ I croak, before clearing my throat. ‘I want to know what you can tell me about the video discovered on your hard drive.’

He stretches out one of his hands and considers each nail, as if he’s awaiting a manicure, before wetting his lips again and finally meeting my stare. ‘What video would that be then?’

He’s baiting me, waiting to see my reaction when I mention Anna’s name, and I know instantly this is going to be every bit as difficult as Jack has forewarned.

It takes all my strength to summon the words. ‘The video featuring my sister, Anna.’

His lips momentarily curl up slightly before he remembers where he is. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know to what you’re referring. Are you sure it was a video on my hard drive?’

I glance back to Jack but he is lost in his own world.

‘We both know which video I’m referring to,’ I say, biting my tongue.

‘I can’t say I do. Maybe if you could describe it that would—’

‘Cut the crap, Turgood. The only reason I’m here is to appeal to that tiny part of your soul that cannot forgive you for the atrocities you inflicted on others.’

I had hoped it would feel better to blow off steam, but his reaction is one of mirth rather than fear or annoyance.

He leans forwards, crossing one hand over the other, resting them on his pointed knee, as if he’s posing for a photograph. ‘Have you seen the video?’

I hear Jack’s warning echo in my mind: don’t let him get a rise out of you.

‘Where did it come from?’ I ask, ignoring his jibe.

He sits back. ‘Alas, several years ago, my computer became infected with a malicious virus online, and the result was the downloading of a variety of disturbing videos and images that I tried to delete but which were so embedded that I didn’t manage to. That’s why the hard drives were in my loft when the authorities discovered them, you see? I’m no technical expert, but I assumed I’d one day find someone who could remove the virus and recover the original content of the drives, but time slips away so easily. I’d forgotten I still had the drives, to be honest, until they were found during the search of my property.’

He’s lying, I have no doubt. The way he’s framed his posture and the confidence with which he is delivering his lines, there has clearly been some rehearsal involved.

‘I wish there was more I could tell you, Miss Hunter, but I’m afraid I can’t say what I don’t know.’

I’ve never hated the sound of my own name so much as the way he delivers it with such bitter scorn. I need to find a way to get through to him but short of shaking him by the shoulders, I’m at a loss as to how. It feels like the journey here has been a waste of time. I have no doubt that the only reason he agreed to meet with me was to see how desperate I am, and to lord it over me.

I check my watch. ‘Our time is nearly up, so Jack and I had better be going,’ I say, loudly enough for Jack to hear.

I’m about to stand when Turgood utters three words that chill me to the bone.

‘How is Freddie?’

Our eyes meet and it’s all I can do to restrain myself.

‘He always did enjoy being the centre of attention,’ Turgood continues, so casually that my skin crawls. ‘Such a pity he felt the need to concoct such vicious lies about life at the home. Has he ever admitted to you that he once thanked me for looking out for him? Some of the other boys could be quite rough and ready at times but once I took Freddie under my wing, they left him alone. His life at that home would have been far worse had I not looked out for him.’

Bile builds in the back of my throat. Even now, after the truth has come out and he’s been punished for his crimes, he has the nerve to maintain an air of injustice about what has happened.

I won’t give him the satisfaction of my outrage. ‘Freddie is doing really well, as it goes,’ I say proudly. ‘He’s settled and is using his newfound fame to help others. I’ve never seen him looking so well, and now he has a rich life to look forward to while you’re slowly dying in here.’

I turn to leave, but it appears he isn’t done with me yet.

‘Do you really want to know the truth about your sister?’

I freeze, but do not dare look into his eyes.

‘Because if you’re serious about finding out how she ended up on that video, I might be able to tell you something that would help.’

Jack is standing and watching us now and I can see the concern overshadowing his face. I slowly turn back to look at Turgood. He hasn’t shifted his position, but he looks poised to deliver the ace he’s kept up his sleeve this whole time.

‘If you really want to know,’ he torments, ‘then I need to hear you ask for my help.’

I know he’s baiting me again, and that I should just leave the room and never look back, but I can see in his eyes that he has been holding back and I would never forgive myself if I turned away from the search for Anna over something as petty as this.

‘I see the way you look at me,’ Turgood continues, ‘with that look of disdain that all younger people seem to carry these days. You hear Freddie’s version of events and hold me accountable but you have no clue what it was like being responsible for so many broken lives, dealing with violent outbursts and emotional breakdowns. I did what I believed was in the best interests of those thrust into my care, and whether you believe me or not, I took care of Freddie and the others. They’d be dead if it wasn’t for me, so stop hoisting me up as the villain of your piece. There are far worse players out there that you’ve yet to encounter and trust me, by comparison I’m a saint.’

‘I want to know about my sister.’

‘Then ask me.’

I grind my teeth, knowing I will regret sinking to his level, but I don’t see any way around it. ‘Very well. Please help me to understand how my sister ended up on that video.’

His lips curl up fully this time as he claims his simple victory. ‘See, that wasn’t so difficult, was it?’

I can’t bring my eyes to meet Jack’s but I can feel them burning a hole into my face.

Turgood rubs his hands together and savours his moment, committing every second of my submission to memory, to play out over and over when he’s alone.

‘I don’t recall ever meeting your sister,’ he begins like some great orator, ‘but I met many runaways like her – children who couldn’t cope with home, or were escaping some revolting upbringing. Being society’s most vulnerable, they soon fall in with the wrong crowds and in their moments of desperation they’ll take any help offered, even if it comes at a dangerously high cost. At first they’ll be reluctant to do what is asked of them, but when the rewards appear and they realise what little is required to bring that element of security, they soon see that there is no way back. If your sister is in one of the videos your police friend over there referred to, then it’s safe to assume that she was there by choice. If you want my advice, stop looking for someone who doesn’t want to be found.’

I can’t contain my rage and I lunge forward, slamming my hands down on the table, growling at the now cowering Turgood. ‘You have no idea who my sister is or how far I’m prepared to go to find her.’

I feel Jack’s hands on my arms within seconds, and he yanks me away from the table as the bolts on both doors are rapidly undone.

‘You’ll rot in hell, you son of a bitch!’ I manage to shout as Jack drags me from the room, my eyes warm with tears.